[lenjan]

Last winter I almost died from severe aplastic anemia, almost total bone marrow failure. Since then I've gotten well acquainted with hematology (blood cancer) clinics.

Thursday was my very last scheduled blood draw. I am now completely off the immunosuppressant that I've been on since December in an attempt to get my blood counts back up. So far so good, but I don't have the results of Thursday's tests yet.

Today in the mail I got a brochure about an upcoming lecture series on dealing with cancer.

Logically, I know they probably pulled the mailing list from hematology clinic patients. But there's part of me going, "Is there something they aren't telling me?" I was so out of it for so long during 5 weeks in the hospital that I really don't remember very much, but I got my records when I switched hospitals and it was very traumatic to read through. I had no idea I was really that close to dying. It truly is a miracle I am still here. It's one thing to have people tell you they didn't think you'd make it, and another to see it for yourself in black and white.

So now I have issues about doctors telling me stuff. My records showed all kinds of things they found that I didn't know about. I'm trying hard not to wonder if something showed up on Thursday's tests, but even if it did I can't find anything out till Monday, and although I've never been outright dx'd with an anxiety disorder, I think I probably qualify! Can somebody just slap me and tell me I'm overreacting and need to chill?

Thanks.

Candy

[Rhapsody]

(((((( HUGS ))))) - I think that is better than that slap you asked for..... and - Hang in there..... Monday will come sooner than you know, and if it helps any.... my sister is going thru the exact same thing.... I am here for you and her.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[January]

((((((((((( Candy ))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry that the Drs kept information from you. It is truly horrible to read about yourself when you're not prepared for it.

Always ask for a copy of your reports. Always. Then you know what's going on.

Hang in there and try hard not to worry. 'Weak words, I know, but try.

Hugs,

Jan

[wanttoheal]

Hi Candy,
I don't think you are overreacting at all (but then again, I tend to have anxiety ). Seriously though, when things have happened in our past, it's understandable that we react the way we do in our brains. Doctors have given you reason to think that they might not be giving total information and so doing what you can to get that information is good.

That said, I do think that they did pull from the list without knowing who was on that list for what. I hope the weekend will pass quickly for you and you will get the results Monday but in the meantime, do what you can to distract. I know it's hard though and sometimes it seems impossible to put it on a back shelf. Take it moment by moment and maybe it won't seem so bad.

I don't think you are overreacting at all but I'm down with the chilling part. Tell me when and where and I will imagine myself there too.

I'm here for you and know that I care.

I get those type of brochures too basically how they got my name is because the health department for each state keeps statistics and so on of various health problems because there are researchers and "study" and "trials" type programs. Cancer is one of those things that always have treatment trials and studys for and most people who become active in trying to find a cure for cancer are those that have it. So when ever someone comes up positive for cancer it is reported to the health department. the health department sends out these various brochures and maybe someone who gets them will decide to participate in the trial or study.

At first I was upset when I got that first one because I thought someone who wasn't supposed to have access to my records got them but then my doctors office explained to me cancer is one of the deseases that have to be included in the medical office report to the health department because some cancers (like the one I have are caused by bacteria and or viruses.

[wisewoman]

It is a Health department issue. I was mortified when I was sent a questionaire by them asking me to check off if my son was dead, better, getting treatment etc. I was angry at the breech of confidentiality and tossed it.