[MuddyBoots]

I am EXTREMELY bloated (literally look 6 months pregnant, but it is not fat. I still see my ribs and wearing a backpack with a water bottle in it not wrapped in a blanket hurts my pelvic bones like crazy while walking, can't pinch half an inch of fat, ab feels solid, just feel bloated). Also way more fatigued and weak than normal. Before I went to the hospital I was capable of riding my bike to the other side of town and back and walking to the grocery store about half a mile maybe 3/4ths after and coming back carrying 20lbs of food then deep cleaning the studio, and yesterday I got winded just walking to the dollar store next to the grocery store and coming back with literally a gift bag and a 3 Musketeers bar (today was my dad's birthday, and I don't know, I still hear him saying "if you can pinch an inch that's too much," and other shyt like that and I'm angry so, I don't know, gift for me).

Anyway, have several possible causes some probably more relevant than others, but...
1) Stopped birth control that I got on mostly to make periods not horrifically painful and somewhat more predictable (it fixed the first, not the second, but my CM was like "hmmm, what if your shytty mental health from thirteen years onward is caused by some birth control you started when you were 19" and without me really okaying it but being too out of it to point out that obvious argument and be like "do you really want me puking and passing out from pain instead of, I don't know, not puking out and passing out??" because I have had one night of sleeping more than 5 hours in the past three months, I ended up getting it out a couple weeks ago and kind of have felt like shyt since (painful cramps, not even a period, and also crazy anxious over potentially having sex I was forced into, because that was a huge part of my past and I doubt the future is going to be drastically different, and getting impregnated now).

2) Overdosed on laxatives, drank, got high and binged and purged a bunch, as soon as I got out of the hospital 6 days ago. (In the hospital they said I was constipated because I had not pooped in 4 days, except I hadn't eaten anything in 4 days in the ER expecting to spend my whole IEA there like my attorney said I would because the place they were SUPPOSED to send me to (state hospital because I had attacked a guard, broke his glasses, bit him, punched a nurse, and proven to/surprised the nurses with in the other part of the regular hospital that the holding cell isn't soundproof) had a very long waitlist. I was expecting to spend two weeks and a third weekend there and be like, "okay, you're literally going to pass me for a medical evaluation when I have low potassium and anemia (only found out when I got home), not tell me, I'm going to starve myself to death in this holding cell because the nurses and doctors here do not give a single **** about anyone's physical health, especially people on IEAs. I wasn't even there intially for mental health, I had a migraine going on day three but they just saw my face and put me in the psych holding cell so when the migraine that had led me there in the first place wasn't treated I got a little aggressive and dramatic and had slammed my head against the floor screaming "IT HURTS" and then felt threatened/panicked/blacked out and read the next day my IEA paperwork and hear from the nurse's they thought the cell was soundproof and I had bit a guard and broke his glasses. (okay this was long I'm kinda ranting at this point, but idk, maybe the migraines are relevant. Always had them, went on topamax, they stopped, got off topamax because underweight and manic anyways, they came back, doubt it's super relevant). So I came home thinking "I haven't pooped in 2 weeks, they only gave me the ONLY TWO laxatives and just them that have historically done nothing to relieve constipation when I was genuinely backed up but did give me insane pain, I'm going to take a laxative that DOES work," but then it didn't because, ya know, haven't had anything more than a yogurt in two weeks and had nothing to pass, but no, I was like "the doctor said I'm constipated," so over the weekend I just took 2 more every 6 hours and had taken all 15 by the weekend was up and drank a shyt ton of water with them BUT DIDN'T POOP EVER BECAUSE THERE WAS NO SOLID TO PASS.

3) I thought I was going to BS the hospital I got discharged to and convince them to let me discharge early because "I'm only getting stressed out more there and I'll go to my mom's house so I'm not alone," but planned on going back to my studio because I kinda fking hate being at my mom's, but didn't know they were going to call her, make sure she was making me stay the weekend, and got her address and had me go there in a cab that was given the address. But yeah, she doesn't have ANY of the food I've been eating for the past few months, so instead of having yogurt, protein shakes, Triscuit's and fish my first day was "there's no food, I'll get some Wendy's" and her getting me a bacon hamburger and me stupidly having milk with it when the only dairy I've had was yogurt no bacon or beef in probably 5 months. Weekend continued with a lot of food I am absolutely not used to and may have shocked the system. I also threw up a lot of it. Actually, I had first thrown up 6 hours after stomaching a yogurt and THAT came up which was a little shocking because usually yogurt of all things doesn't sit in my stomach 6 hours. Pretty much, historically, the only thing that comes up at hour six is some kind of roughage like leafy greens or broccoli (generally stuff I don't even want to come up basically).

I'm sorry this ended up a lot longer and long winded than needed, but I do not have the focus to edit it down. Basically how do I stop severe bloating if there are several different causes and I can't figure out which. Tried yoga, tried peppermint tea, ginger tea, peppermint capsules, got some yogurt this morning and had it, have been drinking a lot of water but trying not to overdo it to the point I get confused, vomit, and shaky like I frequently used to and abso-fking-lutely hate "are you drinking enough water? You have a lot of symptoms of dehydration" like, come on, you just collected a colorless urine sample from me, doc. Even I fking know dehydrated people piss apple juice color (or downtown tap water), not clean water color, or even lemonade.

[MuddyBoots]

Alright, so I been throwing up undigested food like 6, 7, 8 hours after eating a lot since I got home, it so this weekend I'm just eating a lot of easy to digest/liquid stuff like applesauce, broth, crackers, Liquid IV, etc. This one girl I knew with an eating disorder developed gastroparesis and had the same thing before she had to get a tube surgically connected to her small intestine below her pyloric opening, but she had it really consistently and bad. I found out two of the meds I take can cause it too, and I think I've had days this bad before but kinda instinctively just stuck to soup and crackers and worked my way up to non-fat yogurt, rice cakes, peanut butter, then resumed a normal diet and did okay for a couple months but I guess not eating in the ER/hospital didn't help.