Severe test anxiety in 8 year old

My son is 8 and is in the gifted program at school. He generally makes close to 100 on all tests he takes and is a great student. BUT he has a tremendous problem with any sort of test that is timed or has pressure related to it; state tests, for instance. It has become such a problem that he literally cannot do the tests, he has what I would call a full blown panic attack within minutes of being handed a test. I have had every one of his teachers say something about it since he was in kindergarten. I have talked to them all and explained he is very perfectionistic (often a trait in gifted kids) and the less pressure applied before a test, the easier it is for him. Anyway, as I am sure everyone knows, public schools are funded on how well the kids do on state tests and, at least in the case of Mississippi, this makes the majority of focus at school to be on doing well on standardized tests. The kids are constantly reminded about them, they have pep rallies to encourage "doing your best", they take numerous practice tests (which are also timed). Anyway, there is not a week that goes by that my son isn't reminded about how "important" these tests are. I have tried to explain to him that these tests do not affect his grade in any way whatsoever. That they do not change anything; he won't be kicked out of school, make an F on his report card, anything. But no matter how much I tell the school they need to support these TRUE statements, they (of course) still push the tests down their throats.

Weds of this week my son had a complete breakdown in class because they were taking a standardized test in Reading. He only got to question number 2 and lost it. His reading facilitator (what a freaking joke) called and talked to me for about an hour about his "anxiety" problems and how I needed to teach him coping skills.

I don't know what to do. I have taught my son everything I can as far as coping skills. I reiterate to him constantly that these tests reflect NOTHING about him and his ability to learn, yet these messages are contradicted at school!

My son, being in the gifted program, also falls into the special education program (just the other end of the spectrum than what people ordinarily expect for SPED). I know that special ed students are entitled to additional resources, therefore my son is. How do I get the school to provide these resources without causing problems? They believe that because he's "gifted" he shouldn't have any problems with anything at school. I'm so frustrated and worried for my son.

Any suggestions?

They may need to do a psychosocial evaluation of him and work on providing modifications for test taking procedures for him. For instance, he might do better testing in a small group or individually where he doesn't have to watch other kids testing around him. (There's a limit to what modifications can be provided for state standardized testing situations, but usually something mods can be done.) Have you considered therapy to work on his test anxiety?

I have considered therapy. My husband wants to "handle it at home". He's a great guy, but he doesn't like the idea of labeling my son as having a "problem", which is what he believes going to therapy will do.

How do I go about asking for the psychosocial eval? Is this something I ask the councilor for?

The pressure of not being as fast as the other kids is something he really gets upset about. Its unfortunate really, he's an incredibly bright kid and he knows it, its almost like knowing that makes him feel he has higher expectations than the other kids.

My biggest fear is that I have somehow rubbed off on him or something. My mother, who happens to be at the root of a lot of my problems, has some severe mental problems and I am terrified I will end up like her. What if I mess my son up like she messed me up? My pdoc assures me constantly that I'm a good mom, but my son has always had some pretty intense anxiety things as well as being hypersensitive to ANY criticism. He cries very easily and is quick to take any situation personally. These are all faults of mine, I cannot help but think he's picking them up from me, or worse yet, I've genetically passed them down to him.

The rules for setting up an evaluation vary from state to state. Generally you can go through the counselor. You may have to push to get the ball rolling. Some districts are hesitant to refer for more testing (it costs time and money), but clearly there is a problem here that goes beyond the scope of normal test anxiety.

I'd still work on your husband about therapy though. Remind him that your son isn't A problem, but he definitely HAS a problem. It's not about who he is; it's about what he's experiencing.

I completely understand your fears of somehow "causing" these problems. My sons have definitely acquired some mental health issues from my husband and I both genetically and environmentally. It is what it is. It's NOT your fault. It doesn't mean you are a bad mom. It just happens sometimes. The good news is that you recognize the symptoms and are taking steps to help your son early on. He's blessed by that. Remember that.

I can relate to how you feel. I have a 10 year old that is suffering from the same. Except his anxiety appears every friday for his review tests. He worries about the test and then will emotionally beat himself up for getting as little as one answer wrong. He is in the top 93% of the Irish nation in Math and English and when he heard this he was extremely upset for missing those other 7%. I have not put any emphasis on grades, no reward system or punishment and yet he feels he has failed with anything less than 100%.

Your message actually lifted my heart a bit to hear that this occurs with other bright kids because we also have the additional issue of having had active alcoholism in the family. Once we involved counselors and social workers they refuse to see my sons anxiety as anything but a reaction to his exposure to his fathers drinking. However, I also have a daughter and she is responding so positively to my husbands recovery efforts that I no longer am convinced of this one issue being the sole cause of his anxiety.

As for your part in all this, I will pass on what others have shared with me. There should be no guilt if things do turn out to be hereditary - especially if you are doing your best to get the appropriate resources in place. And it does sound as if you are giving your all to your child and this issue so don't knock yourself about. Keep up the good efforts and push for what you feel your child needs.

I am not a parent, but I sound a lot like your son when I was his age. I am 23 now, and I still struggle with my perfectionist tendencies and test anxiety.

I was considered gifted at the age of 7. I already felt bad about it because I didn't feel like I "belonged", as I am learning disabled (dyslexia/dyspraxia/sensory processing disorder) even if this is extremely common in "gifted" people. I do need to say, though, if the school backs off, your son will feel better.

Since I was in both parts of the special education program, I can say that both groups are treated different. Gifted children are told to push for good grades, even the grades that don't interfere with a GPA/performance. Disabled kids are shamed and guilt-ed into doing well ie "Be like everyone else". School is, and I will stand by this till the day I die, an emotionally toxic environment.

Gifted programs, for example, push kids to carry a whole school district. Not just their elementary school, no. Because as you already know, that is how public schools gain funding. And teachers (ESPECIALLY with 'gifted' kids) forget they are speaking and teaching young children and will explain this to them, will remind them constantly how important these tests are, and how they need to score this, that, and this, but NOT that. It is a horrible place for a child to learn coping skills and time management as well as developing self confidence. Many people think children in a 'gifted' program are far more mature than other children. They believe they can handle the stress. But at the end of the day, they're kids. They want to be kids. And they don't really get that chance within their education.

And I have a feeling you get that vibe too, as you want your son to gain assistance and you remind him that these tests have no bearing on him as a person. That is really important and you're so wonderful for doing this with him.

((I live in NY and worked with the SE program even into college, so I am speaking from experience that I know from NY))

Now, with him getting testing aids, it will be more difficult. As your son is not certified as LD in any sense, going in without testing is going to make it near impossible to get him help. That is because no laws would be broken in denying him help. He is considered to be in SE, but he is not legally certified to obtain those learning/educational tools. He is going to need to be evaluated either inside or outside the school by an educational psychiatrist. They tend to deal with learning disabilities, developmental disabilities, and mental illness. Though before the testing they will probably tell you he will need to have the whole testing procedure done. That is to dot their I's and cross their T's. But honestly, it's better this way as everything can come full circle.

If he does show high for test anxiety or feelings of stress and anxiety in related to school, they may begin building an IEP with his educators, and with you. This can mean has rights to obtain extended testing times, quieter testing environments, and his own test giver when it calls for it. If this is the case, he will feel so much better. It helped me endlessly.

You are certainly handling this the right way. Having test anxiety doesn't make you "problemed" and the like. It means the stress related to the exam it self becomes to much. The idiot who told you that you need to teach him coping mechanisms at home is ignorant. You are doing a great job. The school needs to begin pulling the extreme amounts of stress off the shoulders off of these kids and allow them to be kids without this constant fear that they are failures. That job isn't yours.