On medicare and not a senior

There are so many ways Not to answer nosy questions. My favorite is just to smile. But then I have had to pull out a favorite from "Dear Abby" (remember her?!) from time to time. To a rude question she said it was appropriate to respond,"I can't believe you just said(or)asked that?!" And then continue not to answer. Or the other one, "Did you know you just said that out loud?", and not answer. That's if you're being pushed to answer a NOYBusiness question.

Have a great day...

awesome suggestions here, I've adopted some similar, very workable and keeps everyone, you included, from getting riled up! The best

Hang in there! I'd be careful what I say, I've learned this thru some tuff experiences, the best, girl!

Careful? I am sorry I dont understand.

I think he needed to be brought up short.

And he did set me up for another appt, so hopefully I din't make him angry. I hope not.

What did you mean? Careful?

I might have made him angry if I had talked back to him like that.

Carol

I know this is old... But this exact same thing happened to me again, for the umpteenth time, and I am very tired of it! I suffer from depression, as well--disorders on Axis I and II, and got approved for disability due to these disorders after a FOUR YEAR fight. Actually I applied a year or two before that but gave up hope and let it drop.

I'm 24 now. And everywhere I go, because I have no disability that can be seen with the eye, I get pulled aside and asked questions. It's rather discriminatory if you ask me! Or is it, not to be rude, just for the elderly...?

Today I went to a podiatrist. As I was in the office I heard the office workers whisper something about Medicare and, "Is this right?" I ignored it, figuring it wasn't about me. Boy was I wrong. When I see the podiatrist he asks me, "Why are you on Medicare?"

I guess I'm losing my patience these days... I just snapped the obvious, "I'm on disability" and added, "because of depression." The guy made a remark about "people being lazy". So I didn't care, I told him! I told him I've been on medication since the age of 15 for it, spent time in a psych ward, used to go to my state's all day therapy and counselling program at a top hospital, and a few years ago cut myself and received 17 stitches, as well as that I had a neuropsychological evaluation at one of the top hospitals in the state, 2 hours away, to finally get APPROVED for disability!

I'm soooo glad it's not just me... I nearly break into tears every time I get pulled aside and asked this! When I turned in my checks to cash or deposit from my Social Security awards, even the BANKS would do the same things! "Where did you get this money?" "Why did you get it?" The answer of, "For disability" is obviously not an acceptable answer to some institutions and they pry more!

This really shouldn't be happening! It's very invasive and rude! A FOOT DOCTOR, OR A BANKER, should NOT be asking my reason for disability! I would love to snap, "Why don't you contact Social Security and find out?" but alas, I am a very shy, quiet, and nervous girl.

I really like the response about not talking about it, it's not your business, etc...

But urgh! Drives me nuts!!!

sorry, didn't mean to sound offensive, just mean that I won't feed that current prejudice that some people have about being on disability. Glad you felt able to assert yourself, though. It seems unprofessional to me that a doc would behave in this manner, but I understand it happens a good bit! The best!

well said!!!

I would not deal with obviously ignorant doctors/medical personnel and I'd ask to speak to a bank supervisor if your bank gives you a hard time. My stepson is extremely tall and gets asked "how tall" by everyone, no one taking a moment to think and figure it out (talk about "lazy") that they are not the only ones asking and that it is a personal question. But he routinely complains to supervisors if bank tellers, etc. are so rude as to ask rather than to just conduct his business. Keep your anger/indignation and self assertion/boundaries with the obvious idiots but remember too, some medical personnel actually need to know what your disabilities are so they do not prescribe or do any procedures that might conflict with your disability treatment.

this deserves MORE than a "thanks for this". Not only are they acting ignorant, but also insensitve. LAZY?! OMG...!

Carol

It's okay. Thanks for explaining.

Carol

I m also on disability and medicare, medicaid from several accidents i was in. Just to get the money i had to be placed into a pshyc ward 5 time before they would consider it. I also have several other issues i don't feel like explaining every time i go to a new doc, and when the secretaries see my insurance i get the snub nose person. I would give anything to get a job but i'm not in any condition to work, and you would know it as i try to explain things. I have no transportation, but did do something to contribute to society at several volunter jobs jut because i feel guilty especially when "taxpayers" have their 2 cents. my husbnd and I both have contributed to taxes, my husband has a full time job,but i feel bad anyway.i guess the stigma still remains too.

Amen!!!!

If I knew what my real abilities were, if I could take a decent test and/or actually get someone to sit down with me (my roommate too!) and see what I can do to get more money (at least part time) I would try to work. I was a voluteer at times; I did work at a library or two, but I had trouble with "stamina" (staying there or doing something for a long time?) so I could only work a couple of hours daily. then I got let go cause I did not understand the equipment the lady wanted me to employ.

Then I did go to a place to get some kind of evaluation for what I could handle/also a place that tells you what volunteer jobs are available and they could not find anything for me. They were mostly jobs that required high-attention, fast-paced, human interaction. no go.

But I tried a few times.

Now I am a free-lance peer counselor and writer.

I created my own volunteer job.

And I tell my doc's what I do! I tell them "I give what I can to my society and to my country! thank you very much, SIR."

Carol

One time, I smiled at someone and said, "You forgot. I still pay SALES TAX." lol

I would love an actual skills assessment and realistic tolerance for work environments assessment(what can I physically do), not that interest testing they always do. I have a great many interest and that is just not realistic.

havent got my medicare card yet
hm
i suppose if i dont get em by looks which i sometimes do
my answer "for paranoid schizophrenia" should at least make them say
"oooooooooh...alrighty then :0"
probably followed up by a
"i was wondering why you (enter some odd comment about my speech or lack of hygiene or my inability to make eye to eye contact - etc)" <<<<<which DOES happen and not wif jus docs.

I would just say, "You mean you are truly that ignorant?" and just shake my head. They are the ones with the problem, not you. You are at a medical establishment for medical care and they take Medicare (or you wouldn't be there).

I'm 63, been on SSDI since May, 2011 for treatment resistant ultradian cycling bipolar. I've got private insurance, thanks to Medicare, and I don't give a rip what any doctor thinks, though no one has made any kind of issue out of it and I don't shy away from telling a doctor or anyone else that I'm disabled from a severe mental illness. If people don't want to associate with me or treat me, let them stay in their ignorant, narrow minded world. Maybe being so open makes me come across as odd, but for most of my adult life, that's the way I've been. I try to live life on my terms and I stand my ground.

you are correct they do treat you like you are somehow faking your illness. Let them walk a mile in your shoes, they would understand then. I am lucky to have a primary care that gets it as well as a team of docs that understand and dont question my dx at all. Good Luck to you and i hope your feet get better.

Im on medicare. Not even 40 yet. Im schizoaffective and suffer from ptsd, also been told i have personality disorder. I feel more ashamed than guilty. I guess its a matter of survival.

I am always afraid I am going to be their last non senior patient on Medicare; afraid they'll change their mind; not take Medicare anymore. Oh, I get paranoid. (sad, crazy laugh out loud)

Maybe THEY need benefits for mental health. lol

Carol

I know I'm not alone here, but I had a successful career for 20 years before I lost the ability to compensate for my BP. I'm not sure how I crossed that threshold, but I did. I still live in the same small city where I worked, & I'm constantly in fear of running into someone I used to work with & having them ask, "Where are you working now?" I'm now on SSDI & receive Medicare benefits, even though I'm not yet a senior. This makes me feel awkward & avoid large events. I know I'm probably being paranoid, but I can't deny the discomfort this feeling creates.

em

I feel exactly the same way you do. How do I explain it. Thank you for putting your feelings into words.. It is the way many of us younger pre retires feel.

I add to this, a living wage and reasonable benefits, so one can have a life with dignity and feel more like a healthy, contributing member of society. . . .