[pathway2FREEDOM]

I was wondering do you feel the full range of emotions? Are you more often angry? Do you rage and when?

Moreover, so you tell lies or twist around facts to win?

Discuss empathy, can you see things from another perspective? D you care to make decision in groups? Ot is it my way or the highway?

Thanks

[Atypical_Disaster]

I'm a malignant Narcissist so keep in mind my answers to your questions may differ a bit from a more traditional Narcissist.

I do not feel a full range of emotions, some feelings just seem to be entirely missing and some are very shallow compared to normal people(I am capable of feeling fear, but it is very shallow compared to most people, just to name one example)... I cannot feel things like grief, other forms of sadness, remorse, guilt, and the like. It is true, I am often angry... Usually my "baseline" mood is low level annoyance/irritation. I used to go into rages far more often than I do now, these days it really takes quite a lot to truly rouse my temper. Most people simply aren't capable of getting under my skin at all, that power lies with very few and most of the time those few sorely regret having slighted me. Only one person has ever been able to truly stand his ground with me.

Yes, I tell lies, but again far less than I used to. Might be that I'm aging, I don't know why but I haven't had the urge to be dishonest as much as I once did. Twisting the facts is still something I do, if you insist on calling it that... I prefer to think of it as shedding the facts in a more accurate light.

I cannot see things from another person's perspective. I lack empathy, period. I can logically see why someone is struggling if the person tells me so... Otherwise I am completely oblivious to what they're feeling and why. I honestly don't know unless I am told. A forum like this makes it a bit easier for me as people write more openly about their feelings and why they're feeling them here, so I can even be helpful to some here at times because I do have a unique perspective. But putting myself in another person's shoes, really empathizing, is a quality I can only conclude I was born without as I've always been this way.

I don't work well with others most of the time, the word "teamwork" leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's my way or the highway at all times, there has only been one person who has ever been an exception to that rule.

You're welcome.

[pathway2FREEDOM]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

I'm a malignant Narcissist so keep in mind my answers to your questions may differ a bit from a more traditional Narcissist.

I do not feel a full range of emotions, some feelings just seem to be entirely missing and some are very shallow compared to normal people(I am capable of feeling fear, but it is very shallow compared to most people, just to name one example)... I cannot feel things like grief, other forms of sadness, remorse, guilt, and the like. It is true, I am often angry... Usually my "baseline" mood is low level annoyance/irritation. I used to go into rages far more often than I do now, these days it really takes quite a lot to truly rouse my temper. Most people simply aren't capable of getting under my skin at all, that power lies with very few and most of the time those few sorely regret having slighted me. Only one person has ever been able to truly stand his ground with me.

Yes, I tell lies, but again far less than I used to. Might be that I'm aging, I don't know why but I haven't had the urge to be dishonest as much as I once did. Twisting the facts is still something I do, if you insist on calling it that... I prefer to think of it as shedding the facts in a more accurate light.

I cannot see things from another person's perspective. I lack empathy, period. I can logically see why someone is struggling if the person tells me so... Otherwise I am completely oblivious to what they're feeling and why. I honestly don't know unless I am told. A forum like this makes it a bit easier for me as people write more openly about their feelings and why they're feeling them here, so I can even be helpful to some here at times because I do have a unique perspective. But putting myself in another person's shoes, really empathizing, is a quality I can only conclude I was born without as I've always been this way.

I don't work well with others most of the time, the word "teamwork" leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's my way or the highway at all times, there has only been one person who has ever been an exception to that rule.

You're welcome.

Thank you for your honesty and insight Atyp. I have a question (I know again) for you: would you say you feel numb, unless there is drama and chaos? If so, would that be why you cause chaos and drama, when there could be a peaceful, fair and rationale alternatives? or is it that you just feel/think that you way it right for you and eff everyone else?

More importantly, say you were in a vindictive phase (were your empathy is completely lacking), what would help you see the other point of view, and just plain their lives, and factor that in to making a workable plan for all concern, this is related to family/friend, a more serious plans? I need tips to reach through to these people.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by pathway2FREEDOM

Thank you for your honesty and insight Atyp. I have a question (I know again) for you: would you say you feel numb, unless there is drama and chaos? If so, would that be why you cause chaos and drama, when there could be a peaceful, fair and rationale alternatives? or is it that you just feel/think that you way it right for you and eff everyone else?

More importantly, say you were in a vindictive phase (were your empathy is completely lacking), what would help you see the other point of view, and just plain their lives, and factor that in to making a workable plan for all concern, this is related to family/friend, a more serious plans? I need tips to reach through to these people.

Numb? Certainly not. Most of the time I'm pretty content even though slightly irritated pretty constantly. Whether or not there's drama and chaos doesn't matter to me unless someone is dragging my name into it. I don't consciously plan to cause chaos most of the time but I do tend to say and do things that are interpreted by others as inflammatory and harmful so therefore yes it is fair to say I cause more chaos and drama than average but unless I truly have it out for someone it's not something I do on purpose.

When people react badly to something I say or do I scoff at them and ask what it is that I've done that's oh so terrible. That tends to make people even more upset so I've been told though I still don't understand why. It's not my fault that I'm always right and that I have no issues saying exactly what I think about a person, people, and/or situation.

As far as what would help me see another point of view, appealing to logic is the best way to go with me. Appealing to anything emotional will not help at all. I lack empathy so I obviously cannot care about the other person's feelings. But saying something that's rooted in thought, and saying it in such a way where I can see how stopping X behavior would benefit me... That is what would actually work. As it is, I can't see the other person's point of view, and trust me people have tried that approach with me and it simply never works. I can't see the other side of it, the other person, it's all about my wants and needs.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by pathway2FREEDOM

I was wondering do you feel the full range of emotions? Are you more often angry? Do you rage and when?

Moreover, so you tell lies or twist around facts to win?

Discuss empathy, can you see things from another perspective? D you care to make decision in groups? Ot is it my way or the highway?

Thanks

BPD/NPD traits, here.

Yes I feel the full range of emotions. I tend to feel fear first, but it very quickly turns to anger, which I can feel intensely and for a long time. However I am the more covert and avoidant type, so I usually just seethe in secret and refuse to cooperate with people when I'm pissed.

I don't deliberately tell lies (unless interviewing for a job, because my past is messy and I need money to survive). However when I am anxious or spurned, my brain will definitely focus in on the negative and disregard any positive counters. In this way when I am riled up, my brain can definitely distort things. Once I am calmed down, I usually won't admit it that it happened due to shame and humiliation.

I have cognitive empathy, but emotional empathy is something that I only experience once in a blue moon. It happens much easier with animals than with other people. Since I've become more self-aware over the years, I try to use cognitive empathy to figure out the right things to do in various situations. Sometimes I'm too protective of my own emotions to do the right thing, but most of the time I try.

Two things to understand about narcissism:

1. Narcissism is about heaving a very deep, intense fear of shame and having horrendously low self-esteem, and starting in childhood, the person develops a "false self" and spends their life (without treatment) trying to convince themselves that the false self is real. Actual narcissists can be very self-centered, stubborn, deny a lot and so on.

Sociopathy and Psychopathy are where you get very sadistic behaviors, emotionally or otherwise. "Malignant Narcissists" are actually Sociopaths.

2. It is very common for people who grow with NPD parents to

A. Inherent some of the more vulnerable dysfunctions from their parents.
B. Grow up thinking that they are evil and that they are the narcissists.

Why? Well it's hard to grow up with PD parents and not turn out dysfunctional yourself, for tons of reason. But also because NPD parents project, it's part of the denial mechanism and the fierce protection of their false sense of self. Who do they project onto the most? Their children.

Mom hits you because you are mean. Mom is not mean, you are.
Mom lies to you because you can't be trusted. Mom is no untrustworthy, you are.
Dad gives you the silent treatment because you don't listen.
Dad gaslights you, but you are the crazy one, not him.

So bear in mind that a good portion of self-heralded narcissists on the internet are actually projecting their abusers onto themselves, as they were conditioned to do so in childhood. While they may have various traits, things are bound to be messy.

I think what is so hard for us non-PDs to understand is the utter contempt that most PDs have for the rest of us.

A lot of PDs say that they develop their behavior because of abuse and a inappropriate defense mechanisms.

A lot of us non-PDs just see it as just behaving abusively and cruel.

I grew up with emotional and physical abuse and I am not abusive OR cruel. And yes, I would say my parents definitely have PDs themselves.

[here today]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

I think what is so hard for us non-PDs to understand is the utter contempt that most PDs have for the rest of us. . .

Start with yourself. Do you ever feel contempt? What’s that about, in you, when you are feeling it?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Sociopathy and Psychopathy are where you get very sadistic behaviors, emotionally or otherwise. "Malignant Narcissists" are actually Sociopaths.

Malignant Narcissists are not Sociopaths though I can understand the confusion as the disorders can have overlapping behavior. I am very good friends with a Sociopath, and the differences between his personality and mine are night and day.

I am not sociopathic or psychopathic although I can at times act like it. Why? I am capable of feeling fear, and shame... True Sociopaths and Psychopaths are not capable of feeling these things.

[Atypical_Disaster]

1. Narcissism is about heaving a very deep, intense fear of shame and having horrendously low self-esteem, and starting in childhood, the person develops a "false self" and spends their life (without treatment) trying to convince themselves that the false self is real. Actual narcissists can be very self-centered, stubborn, deny a lot and so on.

I don't know about all that "false self" stuff, but the fear of shame you're describing is something that does resonate with me. I will do anything to avoid being shamed in any way.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

I think what is so hard for us non-PDs to understand is the utter contempt that most PDs have for the rest of us.

A lot of PDs say that they develop their behavior because of abuse and a inappropriate defense mechanisms.

A lot of us non-PDs just see it as just behaving abusively and cruel.

I grew up with emotional and physical abuse and I am not abusive OR cruel. And yes, I would say my parents definitely have PDs themselves.

1) A lot of the contempt you're picking up from people with PD's such as myself come from the fact that most "nons" hold people with PD's with a high amount of contempt, as evidenced that I was insulted out of nowhere on this thread when I have done nothing wrong.

2) I can't speak for everyone that has a PD, for myself I think I am more of a product of nature but the nurture part of it likely exacerbated things. For me I'd say I'm 70% nature, 30% nurture.

3) I can see why you see it that way.

4) Everyone is different, I know plenty of people who were abused as children who don't have any PD at all.

[pathway2FREEDOM]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Numb? Certainly not. Most of the time I'm pretty content even though slightly irritated pretty constantly. Whether or not there's drama and chaos doesn't matter to me unless someone is dragging my name into it. I don't consciously plan to cause chaos most of the time but I do tend to say and do things that are interpreted by others as inflammatory and harmful so therefore yes it is fair to say I cause more chaos and drama than average but unless I truly have it out for someone it's not something I do on purpose.

When people react badly to something I say or do I scoff at them and ask what it is that I've done that's oh so terrible. That tends to make people even more upset so I've been told though I still don't understand why. It's not my fault that I'm always right and that I have no issues saying exactly what I think about a person, people, and/or situation.

As far as what would help me see another point of view, appealing to logic is the best way to go with me. Appealing to anything emotional will not help at all. I lack empathy so I obviously cannot care about the other person's feelings. But saying something that's rooted in thought, and saying it in such a way where I can see how stopping X behavior would benefit me... That is what would actually work. As it is, I can't see the other person's point of view, and trust me people have tried that approach with me and it simply never works. I can't see the other side of it, the other person, it's all about my wants and needs.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I am very much appreciate your responses, which are thoughtful and insightful.

[FooZe]

Unfortunately some of the responses to this thread were quite unsupportive. I've removed them (and the ensuing discussion) and I'm now going to close the thread.