[Softballjunkie8]

Hey everyone...i had a few questions about ocd. I have never been diagnosed with ocd but I have been researching symptoms, and some sound just like me. I have pretty bad thoughts, mostly centering around violence or religion. Which is kind of crazy because thats the exact opposite of who I am. I know I would never do anything at all like my thoughts, but sometimes they do cause a good deal of anxiety. I feel I am pretty religious, which is why I don't understand why I would have bad thoughts regarding that. I have a supportive fiancee who has helped me alot. My mom is REALLY religious and tells me that it's the devil...which freaks me out! So I guess I just wany to know how others have coped and how you are now! Thanks for any replies!

[Travelinglady]

While we wait for someone with OCD to respond, I'm thinking you do need to talk to someone. I gather your mom is from a very conservative religion. DO you go to that church? Not all church folks these days would agree with what she says.

I can tell that you are struggling, and to me, that means that you need to tell a professional about your symptoms and get help from him/her. Is there any Christian counseling service near where you live? You don't say how old you are, but if you are at least 18, you don't need a parent's permission. If money is a problem, then a clinic who takes what people can afford might be an option.

Meanwhile, you might want to join one of the religious social groups here, so you can talk to the members. We are all Christians, but we vary in our denominations. Somebody there might have a history of OCD.

[RuralOwlUK]

My OCD tends to focus around issues of contamination and health but is not restricted to that. It also includes fears that I might cause harm to others by contaminating them with any germs I might have picked up. I am a religious person and my OCD related religious thoughts tend to be around the idea of God punishing me by inflicting harm on me or my loved ones because of my failings. This is despite my not intellectually believing that God would behave in such a way. My compulsions or neutralisers have really affected the way I live my life and that finally drove me to see the doctor a few months ago. They referred me to a psychotherapist who is really helping me and progress is being made.

If you are like me the intrusive thoughts when they are going round and round in your head feel very very real, as if they truly reflect reality. It helps me to know when I am afflicted by these thoughts, that they are the product of my illness and not necessarily a reflection on reality.

The best advice I can offer is to seek out professional help if you can. I suffered for 10 years before doing so.

[Softballjunkie8]

Thank you very much for responding! I am 24 years old and I don't go to my mother's church. I believe differently than her, and she thinks that I am not saved if I do. Grant it I'm not the model christian but I try. I feel she is not very understanding to the condition I'm going through so I try not to speak about it around her.
I live in a pretty rural area n it's kind of hard to find a therapist. I don't have insurance n we are barely making it paycheck to paycheck.
I think I actually might have had this when I was younger because I was kind of weird about germs but not too bad. It def has gotten worse about religion. I hate thinking derogatory thoughts about God and just wish they would go away...sometimes it's easy, but other times it does really trouble me.

[belledisastre]

Hunny, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I'm also a Christian that suffers from OCD. My OCD has been recurring for the past 4 years and always comes back in different forms. I, too, suffered from nasty and violent thoughts that were totally disgusting and out of my character. To think of it, I really haven't had one of those thoughts in a while. But when I did, my clinician at my program encouraged me to make a list of affirmations to think about when I had a violent thought. Much like what RuralOwlUK said, one of my affirmations was like "This is not me thinking this thought; it's just my anxiety." She said it was a manifestation of all the anxious and obsessive/compulsive feelings that I had built up inside. Maybe you could try some meditation and whatnot to relax your mind and make you feel less anxious? & Divert your mind right away when you think those thoughts. Think about happy things and whatnot. Begin focusing on something else, don't allow your mind to even so much as ponder the thoughts.
For pretty much my entire 6th grade year, I had OCD regarding God and religion. I'd spend hours a day reading a Bible, bring a Bible with me everywhere I went, sit on the internet and read about God and Jesus for hours, and that's literally all I would talk about. It even got to the point my mom stopped bringing me to church, in attempt to lessen my obsession. & Sometimes I would have derogatory religious thoughts as well that concerned me. Just always remember that this isn't YOU; this is just your anxiety. Let the thoughts go. They are of zero importance. It's not you thinking these thoughts, it's not the devil trying to bring you down, it's just your anxiety acting up. You're a good person and you are not to blame for these thoughts.
I also believe that you could benefit from therapy. I'm really not much help in regards to expenses and whatnot considering I'm only 16 years old & my mom takes care of all that for me, but perhaps your insurance will pay for a good portion of your therapy? Look into the therapy options that go along with your insurance.

[Softballjunkie8]

I'm also sorry that you are going through this. It can be very difficult to handle. It's crazy that the thoughts that are exact opposite of your personality pop in your head. I guess that's why they catch your attention in the first place. I've dealt with it for the longest time and never knew what it was. I thought I was seriously crazy! But after I began to research I began to realize. I guess I need to not personalize the thoughts so much. Like I said though sometimes the thoughts actually frighten me. Mine basically are that I'm going "to allow" or "accept" something bad in my heart or life...plus the stuff I mentioned earlier. I have some bad habits (cigs) I am trying to quit...which is harrrrd! That also doesn't help with the religious aspect of things! I am trying though! When did your ocd start?

[mab137]

Hello

after reading through afew of the previous posts your "ocd" sounds very similar to what my brother struggles with. The "bad thoughts" is something he has struggled with as well. He benefitted from ERT(exposure response therapy) which can seem kind of scary at first, but for him it is definetly worth it!!! Wishing you all the best in learning to cope and I am here for any support that I may be able to give!

[Softballjunkie8]

Originally Posted by mab137

Hello

after reading through afew of the previous posts your "ocd" sounds very similar to what my brother struggles with. The "bad thoughts" is something he has struggled with as well. He benefitted from ERT(exposure response therapy) which can seem kind of scary at first, but for him it is definetly worth it!!! Wishing you all the best in learning to cope and I am here for any support that I may be able to give!

Thank u very much for your support! I have heard of that kind of therapy n would very much like to try it. Some days are def better than others!

[mab137]

I am sure you could find some things online concerning ert....but it may be most beneficial for you to find a therapist to talk to who really gets ocd and the different ways it can affect you. My brother was able to attend a few sessions with my mom and then she was able to help him use some of the techniques at home instead of going back to therapist every time he was/is having an issue. (keep in mind, this works for him and may not work for you, but wanted to point out that it may be an option in keeping costs down and also not allowing it to take up any more or your time).