Can't take it anymore

I've had OCD for a really long time, but over the past year it's been getting worse to the point where every waking moment I have anxiety. I have obsessive thoughts every day and I feel as if every little thing makes me feel guilty and I HAVE to tell my boyfriend or else i'll feel worse. It's ruining my life. Even today at work I thought I wanted to touch my co-worker and I didn't, it's my thoughts going crazy and of course I tell my boyfriend but I just feel so guilty all the time and I over think constantly. I have no idea how to overcome this obsessive thinking. I have a lot of compulsions too, but the thinking is what really bothers me. I still have never been on medication but I am looking to. Has anyone found that it helps with the thinking as well as the compulsions? I'm just really nervous about it.

Hi...I don't take medications, so I can't talk about it, but I wanted to tell you that I know how annoying obsessions and compulsions are...I understand that you feel exasperated. You aren't alone I really hope that you find the right therapy and/or medication for you soon.

I've compared OCD to a nasty weed in the garden that continues to grow and spread. For me, it's reached the point where every aspect of my life is contaminated with OCD. I have extreme intrusive thoughts and compulsions. They are all related to contamination issues and some of them stem from being sexually abused as a child and other contamination issues result from my life experiences. I have PTSD as well, and both the OCD and PTSD become jumbled up together. It's as if I can't separate the two. A trigger will set off the PTSD and then the OCD kicks in with a monstrous wallop. Not a day goes by that I don't feel like I've had a swift kick in the rear.

I haven't had much success with meds. I do take a med for anxiety, and it does help a tad. The only thing so far that has helped a teeny bit is mindfulness. I'm trying very hard to practice it and have had so far a wee bit of success with it. Hoping with time it will help even more.

Speak to your counselor about meds for OCD. Maybe you'll benefit from them. There is a book I do recommend that can be helpful. Brain Lock by Jeffrey M. Schwartz is the one book that makes the most sense to me.

I really hope you can get a good handle on it because as I said earlier OCD is one ugly, nasty weed that won't stop growing. I'm hoping you'll succeed where I haven't yet.

I used to have OCD with the same intrusive thoughts and FEAR about doing things that I would never in a million years do but then have the compulsion to tell someone about them. I had success with SSRI medications. Maybe they would help you too! Good luck

Unfortunately, the goal of reducing the obsessive thinking should not be your main goal. You have no direct control over your thoughts, as you are already experiencing. The more you distress about, try to disprove, or neutralize a thought, the stronger it becomes. The way to relief starts with not viewing your thoughts so judgmentally. They are just thoughts. Your mind presents them to you because it's trying to help you. The way you have reacted to the thoughts in the past has 'marked' the thought as being important. So, your mind is going to try and bring up all thoughts that are 'marked' as important over and over. The content of the distressing thought is rather unimportant. What is important is how you are reacting to them. It's difficult, but try to take a more observational viewpoint with your thoughts rather than a judgmental, analyzing approach.

You might try The OCD Workbook by Bruce M. Hyman and Cherlene Pedrick. It has a lot of good advice. As for meds, you might need them, and they can help. However, I have issues with these kinds of meds, so I highly suggest researching any drug your doctor might prescribe.

gtripoli is right. Another thing that actually just helped me as a matter of fact is just accepting the thoughts. You have to think of it as a fear basically and your mind senses it as a danger which creates anxiety. In reality we all know you would never act on your thoughts and it can't harm you physically, but your mind still labels it as a fear basically. I bet your emotions and anxiety is all out of whack right now. You need emotional balance. Whenever the thought comes into your head, just accept the thought like any other thought and then refocus you attention on something else. I know it's harder said than done, trust me. Right now your body is basically in shock and in a very fearful state probably 24/7, especially if it has been going on for a long time. You can heal yourself, trust me, I know you can. You can't fix it with the same mindset that you started it with. Also, trying to "fight it" just makes it worse as mentioned numerous times. The only way to truly get rid of it is by faith, courage, and not underestimating yourself. Don't hold yourself back. You can recover. Stop trying to defeat it and just let it be. Once your mind realizes it's not a fear anymore you body will go through a very odd feeling/change. Why? Because it will be something that your body isn't used to. When the thought enters your head, say these words... "I accept the thought". That's all it is, a thought. You have to reprogram your mind basically and balance your emotions. The reason people have fear and anxiety in the first place is because they focus on the anxiety too much and they let the fear overwhelm them. Trust me, I know this is a hard task but if you view it as such then your only doing more harm. You have to elevate your mind to something entirely new that your body and mind isn't used to. Don't view it as a hard task either, instead view it as "I have the potential to do this, this is possible." It is working with me, so I know it is possible. Don't focus on the anxiety, fear, or how horrible the thought is. When it enters your mind, don't think about it, don't fight it, don't pay any attention to it at all. Try to think of your mind as a balloon that is empty with nothing but air. You give the thought and anxiety rise by thinking about it. When it enters your head just accept it but at the same time let it pass by like all other thoughts do. OCD is an anxiety and fear as much as it is a thought. They are directly linked actually. The way to get rid of it is to not pay any attention to it. Literally. You have to release the stress you are under as well. You will feel your body go through some rather intense emotional healing as well as allowing the anxiety to get less and less. I have faith in you, don't give up. At night time when you go to bed is a good time to apply these methods.

Try these steps: I would suggest doing this alone preferably at bed time. Your body will feel different like I said because you will not be used to it at first, but don't get discouraged. You are doing yourself, your body, and your mind nothing but good if you can focus your attention entirely on something else for any period of time. Think of it as a game to see how long you can go without thinking about the thought at all or trying to battle it in any way shape or form. Like I said, you have to accept the thought and let it pass everytime it enters your head. Don't battle it at all or even think anything about it. Instead, just accept it and let it pass. You are in a fearful state and your mind thinks you are in danger.

1.) First of all, you have to stop underestimating yourself. Human beings are incredible, beautiful, and capable beyond measure. Have courage, because courage battles fear head on. Never underestimate your capability.
2.) Relax
3.) Don't focus on your emotions, anxiety, fear, or how horrible the thought is or what it is doing to you. Instead just accept the thought as a thought, because that's all it is.
4.) Don't be afraid of change.
5.) No matter how horrible you think the thought is you have to accept it. Just because you accept it doesn't mean you will act on it and it doesn't mean that's who you really are. You can't accept it by thinking it is horrible either. Accept it as literally nothing but a thought that just passes through your head.

Your body will probably start to go into sort of a "shocked" state if you truly do this correctly because your not used to it. When someone is in a fearful state for sooooo long, it takes a while to release all of the negative anxiety filled emotional stress and energy. It will start to "leave" your body and you need to balance your emotions to get out of your fearful state of mind. You can do this. I have faith in you.

Paxil helped reduce my anxiety in the past with helped reduce both the obsessions and compulsions. Good luck!