![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
||||
|
||||
Hello , I've recently started dealing with intrusive thoughts and they started off with small really irrational things like for example because I ate a chocolate now i'm going to have a heart attack and die and while yes , i would get worked up about them I was always to get over them after a couple of days ... However sometime this year is when I started dealing with these thoughts more seriously, around February i started to think I didn't love my boyfriend anymore because a guy at work was flirting with me and I assumed that happened because I must've been flirtatious back and no longer wanted to be with my boyfriend . That obviously wasn't true because I was so distraught over the thought I cried nearly every day for a month over the potential thought of my boyfriend and I not being together long story short I finally got over it but the thought still lingers at times however now that I'm pregnant the thoughts have shifted towards my unborn child , I heard a baby crying in the store and grew really agitated keep in mind I was under a lot of stress at the moment holiday shopping and i'm quite pregnant but none the less I felt bad thinking now i'll grow impatient with my child and potentially hurt her , my biggest fear is my baby being hurt by either me or someone else , I wish i just could keep her in my belly forever and the closer I draw near to my due date the more scared and anxious I become . I know I am not what I think I am i've raised babies since I was 6 years old both boys and girls even baby sat for some extra money however now that its my child I can't seem to trust my own instincts , what if deep down i'm really a monster?This one is a weird one I get from time to time I saw a photo of a naked baby and found it wickedly inappropriate that the parent would feel comfortable posting that of their child on the internet for anyone to see , I started thinking omg what if some sicko on the internet is getting something off of this and then reading some comments people said only sicko's would sexualize such a picture and lets just say that sent me into a frenzy , now I believe I am capable of such an act I would literally kill myself and have thought about it because now I believe I am part of the sickos and I feel to protect my baby she'd be better off without me I usually calm down after awhile but it comes back often , it just depends on the day really if it's not me its someone else that's capable of hurting my baby ... I just am seeking advice to help cope better with my intrusive thoughts and try to do something else besides ritually checking and seeking reassurance . The logical side of me knows who I am but the other half that does this to me and puts me under a lot of unnecessary stress likes to lead me to believe otherwise . So with that said any advice from parents who deal with the same thing or just anyone in general who's gone through this and have successfully managed to conquer their thoughts are welcomed . Thanks
|
![]() *Laurie*, ken9018
|
#2
|
||||
|
||||
Everyone has bad thoughts. It's how you react to those thoughts. Just don't react to them. Just let them be there without doing anything. The reason why you are going through this is because you are reacting to the thoughts. If you try to rationalize with something that is irrelevant and completely irrational then nothing good is going to come out of that. Just have courage to be yourself and be happy. Everyone fails and no one is perfect. Just get back up and don't give up on yourself. Don't try to defeat the thoughts or fight them because you're basically trying to defeat something that shouldn't even be there in the first place. Remember that the thoughts are completely irrelevant and irrational. Just focus on being in the moment entirely. Challenge yourself to have a clear mind for as long as possible. You can also ground your thoughts out completely by staring at a clock, watch, or an object that soothes you. The way this works is you just stare at an object and really think about every little detail about that object whether it's color, texture, shape, format, smell, etc... drink a glass of water, go outside and stare at the sky. Repeat process as many times as possible until you can clear your mind. Then challenge yourself to go as long as possible with a clear mind like you used to have before.
I hope this helps and if you need more help I'm always here. Take care. You sound like a good, beautiful, healthy, and intelligent person to me. I think you'll be okay. Also, the human mind has an incredible ability to heal itself and the body. I don't know if you knew that but it's true. You can always heal. You can always regenerate and I bet you show your family a lot of kindness and if you don't then you always can take action. Taking action is always better than sitting around ruminating. I'm not trying to say that you're lazy either I'm just trying to get you to realize that I can tell from your post that you're not a bad person. You don't sound like a bad person at all.
__________________
Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding. - Albert Einstein |
![]() MewMew1996
|
![]() MewMew1996
|
#3
|
||||
|
||||
You also answered your own question when you said or asked if the thoughts are intrusive thoughts because you are right that they are intrusive thoughts but they are just thoughts though. They don't hold any weight because everyone on this Earth has random bad thoughts all the time. The only thing that separates the people on this website and the people that aren't on this website is the fact that the people that aren't on this website don't react to the thoughts. They just let them pass through, without reacting to them, and then they move on.
Don't think that you're not a normal person either because you are normal. You will get passed this eventually. Don't go to war with your thoughts just assign them as "irrelevant" and then move on. Try replacing the thoughts with the word "irrelevant" or "unnecessary" instead and then just clear your mind. I hope this helps. Take care.
__________________
Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding. - Albert Einstein |
![]() MewMew1996
|
![]() *Laurie*, MewMew1996
|
#4
|
||||
|
||||
Thank You so much for your kind words @AlphaAlpha I really appreciate the feedback and your kind words definitely made me feel better and put a lot into perspective for me . It does wonders to hear things from an outside source and though I know its a long road for me but none the less this helps me out big time . Thank you again and good luck to you in anything you do in life
![]() |
#5
|
||||
|
||||
You're welcome. I really hope I've helped you and if you have any questions then let me know so I can explain myself better.
Take care and thanks. The best thing that you can do I think is to just relax and be natural. Clear your mind. Pay attention fully to what people say too. This will help you be more natural too when you can practice and learn how to respond to your surroundings better. The only way to accomplish this is to be 100% natural with a clear mind. The only way to achieve that is through discipline, courage, and kindness. I hope this helps. *Edit*: I don't know if this applies to you but I had to learn how to pay more attention to other people and to my surroundings. I had to learn how to put myself in other people's shoes and not think so inwardly about myself all of the time. Also it is impossible to know for sure whether or not you would want or are going to do anything. It's irrational. It's kind of like asking the question of, "Would I walk into a lightning bolt if it struck right in front of me?"... well obviously the answer is of course you would not because that would be absolutely absurd. Not only is it absolutely absurd but it is also completely irrational nor does it make any sense at all. That should be enough reassurance I think. You could also use other examples to reinforce your mind naturally. Like, "Would I walk into a burning building?" "Would I stick my hand into the garbage disposal while it's running?" "Would I start doing jumping jacks in the middle of my class room for no reason?" These all have something in common with what's going through your mind right now. They are all silly and completely irrational so why waste time with them? You're a good person so the answer is no, you would not do these things because they are completely ridiculous. In fact they are as far away from your true self as possible which is why you are having the thoughts in the first place. It's because you are a good person.
__________________
Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding. - Albert Einstein Last edited by AlphaAlpha; Jan 10, 2017 at 01:21 PM. |
Reply |
|