[DocJohn]

Hi folks,

It seems some people have been acting in a way that is generally against the community guidelines recently in our chat rooms. So take this as a gentle reminder...

1. All Community Guidelines apply in chat.

2. Do not enter chat while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. We've instituted a zero-tolerance policy regarding this issue, so if we suspect you're under the influence, you will get a warning and then, if you continue, an immediate 1-day chat room suspension.

3. The chat rooms are primarily for mental health and related support.

4. The lobby is not the place to congregate and have general discussions. Enter the lobby, find a room that has people in it that meets your needs, and move on. Members who are talking about mature topics in the lobby rather than 21+ will be warned and may face suspension if they don't move the conversation to a more appropriate venue. This is out of respect for the minors in our community.

5. The chat rooms, like the forums, are not for people who are actively suicidal. Do not go into the chat rooms looking for suicide support.

6. Be sensitive to other members' likely triggers, like talk about self injury or suicidal thoughts. Ask if it's okay to talk about Subject XYZ if you suspect it may be a triggery topic, and if other members object, create your own room or move into another room to discuss the topic.

Most people act appropriately in chat most of the time. I apologize I have to post this reminder to reach the handful of members who seem to believe they can do whatever they please in the chat rooms without recrimination.

We value your membership in our community, and in helping keep the community safe for all members. If you see inappropriate behavior in the chat rooms, please report such behavior immediately to a moderator or admin who is online.

Thanks,
DocJohn

[Slippers]

bumping ......

[Zorah]

[(JD)]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE honor the support chat room! If there are already 2 members in the room, please don't enter. Don't "pile on" thinking you can also help. While you might be good at giving support, often three's a crowd and it can be disruptive.
And when there's four or five or more in one support chat, odds are the person there needing support first isn't getting it.

Please do not interrupt a support chat. Thanks!

[yutzman]

I never go into Chat rooms.........not comfortable there.............

[Elysium]

Originally Posted by _Sky

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE honor the support chat room! If there are already 2 members in the room, please don't enter. Don't "pile on" thinking you can also help. While you might be good at giving support, often three's a crowd and it can be disruptive.
And when there's four or five or more in one support chat, odds are the person there needing support first isn't getting it.

Please do not interrupt a support chat. Thanks!

Maybe I am not looking in the right area, but is there really a rule for chat that says not to enter if there are more than two people in a room?

Is there a rule about going in to support chat, if you are looking for support, or wanting to give support to someone who is in there?

Can you please direct me to the Chat instruction page so I can read the rest of the rules, as I can't seem to find it.

Thanks!!

[yutzman]

Originally Posted by Elysium3006

Maybe I am not looking in the right area, but is there really a rule for chat that says not to enter if there are more than two people in a room?

Is there a rule about going in to support chat, if you are looking for support, or wanting to give support to someone who is in there?

Can you please direct me to the Chat instruction page so I can read the rest of the rules, as I can't seem to find it.

Thanks!!

Try RULES AND ADMINISTRATION, Sticky #3.....I'm not an expert but may help ya...

[Elysium]

Thanks Yutz!!

I checked it out, but it didn't say anything about these other "rules". I'll check with Admin and make sure though cause I don't want to mis-use chat and get in trouble.

I appreciate you telling me about the sticky. Have a good one!!

[MisanthropicOne]

Originally Posted by _Sky

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE honor the support chat room! If there are already 2 members in the room, please don't enter. Don't "pile on" thinking you can also help. While you might be good at giving support, often three's a crowd and it can be disruptive.
And when there's four or five or more in one support chat, odds are the person there needing support first isn't getting it.

Please do not interrupt a support chat. Thanks!

I would think that support chat is for any and all who either need support or are looking to give support. I'm sorry and I really don't mean to sound rude or disrespectful but when you say if people are already in the support room then please don't enter what you're really saying is "I'm sorry you need support but your just out of luck".

Too often people forget that if they want a one on one chat there is an option to have a private conversation by clicking on the name of the person and selecting 'private chat' As well there is always the option of meeting someone in the support room and then creating a locked private room where your conversation will not and cannot be interrupted.

Again I do not mean to sound rude or disrespectful but seriously a little common sense goes a long way especially in this matter.

Originally Posted by DocJohn

If you find yourself starting to engage in a "serious" conversation one on one with another user, consider moving to private chat with that user. Anybody is able to setup their own private chat room on the system at any time. Use these rooms to hang out with friends or engage in that longer-term serious conversation with another member, without being bothered by other members. If you hang out in a public room with others, sometimes you may be expected to say something or asked a question. And if you hang out in a public room instead of creating your own private room, be aware that it is a PUBLIC room and anybody can and is welcomed to access it at anytime.

It is virtually never appropriate to ask another member to leave a room (unless you're a member of the community team enforcing a guideline). Ignore a member you don't like, or move to a private room. Every person who enters chat is responsible for maintaining their own safety and security by using the tools we've made available to you.

Thanks and enjoy!
DocJohn

i think with support chat the problem is people don't always honour the rule that it's for support. it's not fun to sit in support and need support and then loads of people pile in just to chat. it's a room for support- people can chat in social.

and with people who tend to pile in support just to chat, people who need support won't get it since there's already 8 or so people in there just milling around. it's hard for people who are having a rough time and would really like support, but have no place to get it.

thank you doc john and mods for everything

[MisanthropicOne]

Originally Posted by Griffe

i think with support chat the problem is people don't always honour the rule that it's for support. it's not fun to sit in support and need support and then loads of people pile in just to chat. it's a room for support- people can chat in social.

and with people who tend to pile in support just to chat, people who need support won't get it since there's already 8 or so people in there just milling around. it's hard for people who are having a rough time and would really like support, but have no place to get it.

thank you doc john and mods for everything

I agree.. to a point. I believe that everyone in the support room is there because they need support or want to give support. Now it is common place for support to start out light (intro problem) then get heavier (receiving support) and finally move back to lighter conversation (coming down). This is about standard.

I do agree that it may seem as though people are milling around just casually conversing.. and at times it is just that. People don't seem to want to change rooms because maybe the people they were talking to aren't ready to leave support themselves or what not.

I think the thing that most people completely forget is that this entire site (forums and chat) are here for support. The support room, I think, is intended for more intensive support that some others may find disturbing to themselves. The other rooms are more meant to be of a lighter intensity.
Dunno if im making sense to anyone else but it seems apparent to me.

We all have our ideas and interpretations of things and they may not always be right but using the basic guidelines set forth and a bit of common sense usually keeps thing working smoothly.

No matter what everyone here should be pro active in their endeavors. Speak up and be heard... I know its not always easy but it is required.

About the only thing I can say, that no one can dispute, is if I am ever online any and everyone here is free to contact me if they need someone to talk to. I know im not staff and im not familiar with a lot of certain issues but I am always willing to listen.

[DocJohn]

There is NO rule that says members cannot enter any given room if there's already two people in there. You can disregard that note made by one of the members here, as it's simply not true.

We ask that members respect one another in chat. That means keeping personal disagreements with another member OUT OF PUBLIC chat. Take your personal disagreements to private chat or PM. If unresolvable, place the other member on ignore. Don't taunt them, don't try and make them angry or upset.

If you need to privately chat with another member about some concern or issue, you can do so easily enough via privately chatting with one another in any room, or simply creating your own room to do so. Anyone can create a room. You can even password protect it to make it a truly private place for your chat one-on-one.

CHAT IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. Some people may find the social interactions that go on in chat to be too much to handle. Accept that it may not be right for you if that's the case, and stick to places you feel safe and comfortable (like the forums).

EVERY CHAT ROOM IS OPEN TO EVERYONE (unless someone made a private room; teen room is only for teens; adult room is only for adults). That means folks are welcomed to visit any room they'd like and sit there quietly if they'd like. There is no rule that says that you're required to speak. Many times people gain help and benefit from simply listening, and THAT'S OKAY.

Thanks for the opportunity to clarify,
DocJohn

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by _Sky

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE honor the support chat room! If there are already 2 members in the room, please don't enter. Don't "pile on" thinking you can also help. While you might be good at giving support, often three's a crowd and it can be disruptive.
And when there's four or five or more in one support chat, odds are the person there needing support first isn't getting it.

Please do not interrupt a support chat. Thanks!

Why can't more than 2 people be in the support chat? I usually don't go into support chat because I have advice. I go into it for advice. Or if I am having a bad time and just need to hear the ther chatters. Is it against the rules?

[lenjan]

Thunderbear, see DocJohn's post right above yours for clarification.

I wanted to add that the reason I virtually never go into chat is because of the exact situation described. Two members who should have known better basically forced me out of the support room -- which I only went into because I really needed support! -- because they didn't want "their" discussion interrupted. It was a long time ago, but it was enough to sour me on that particular form of help here pretty much for good.

Use it if you need it.

DocJohn: THANKS for the clarification. That post was very scary & intimidating. After reading that, there was no way would I EVER venture into the support chat for fear of intruding on people already there.

Hopefully people who think that they can "own" the support chat realize now that they have the option to take it private if they don't want any of us to intrude. Thanks. That's a relief for me.

[Fuzzybear]

thanks for this thread

[Catherine2]

Originally Posted by candybear

Thunderbear, see DocJohn's post right above yours for clarification.

I wanted to add that the reason I virtually never go into chat is because of the exact situation described. Two members who should have known better basically forced me out of the support room -- which I only went into because I really needed support! -- because they didn't want "their" discussion interrupted. It was a long time ago, but it was enough to sour me on that particular form of help here pretty much for good.

Use it if you need it.

Candybear,
Thank you for sharing this...
My experience was opposite in a way. The first person there was more than happy to have lots of people trying to convince her not to "final exit."
It was a free for all.
Not pleasant and how were we supposed to keep her from doing anything?

Yeah, I kinda steer clear of it also.
Catherine

[MisanthropicOne]

Originally Posted by candybear

Thunderbear, see DocJohn's post right above yours for clarification.

I wanted to add that the reason I virtually never go into chat is because of the exact situation described. Two members who should have known better basically forced me out of the support room -- which I only went into because I really needed support! -- because they didn't want "their" discussion interrupted. It was a long time ago, but it was enough to sour me on that particular form of help here pretty much for good.

Use it if you need it.

In situations the best course of action is to contact an administrator. They will come in and set things right. Afterwords make sure you save a copy of the entire ordeal. So the staff have adequate proof of what exactly transpired.

[Soidhonia]

Hello everyone. The main thing to remember is to follow the rules of chat, and use discretion for what you needs are when entering the chat rooms. 1) When upon entering chat if you go into the Lobby first, proceed on to the room of your choice for what ever you feel your needs may be, or the reason that you may have come to chat. There has been many conversations taking place in the Lobby that should be in the Social Room. If you are un the Lobby specifically for a Social conversation, go to the Social Room, this keeps people entering the Lobby from feeling intimidated with intruding on an ongoing conversation that should have been Already happening in the Social Room, and becoming confused on what room they need to actually proceed to for Social reasons.

2) Most people I feel are somewhate respectful toward the Support Room when someone is in need of support, and if there are too many people in the Support Room that are not there for Support themselves, then they should move to the appropriate room such as the Social Room, Teen Room, or 21+ Room. They should be told by someone is the Support room giving support that they need to go to the appropriate room if they dont need support, perhaps by PM, since the person needing support may not be well enough to understand someone being told to leave Support Room and become offended. This Strategy has worked for me Most of the time. I am just making suggestions for what works for me in Support when a problem arises that is the least offensive to everyone involved. I also remind the person asked to leave Support that if the need arises that they need Support while in chat come back to the Support Room, since I have seen things change from being okay to breaking down in one chat session. The main thing is to respect others time in Support, as you would your own, and respect that you would get the same Support if someone else is intruding or unaware of the rules and the meaning of the Support room itself when you need Support yourself.

3) If someone is in the Support Room and needs support and is alone in the Support Room, PLEASE contact a MODERATOR, if noone is available or stable enough to talk to the person in Support Chat. The person in Support Chat needs Support and should be taken Seriously, and someone such as a MODERATOR should be contacted if noone is able to chat in the Support Room. Someone in Support Chat should not have to be in the Lobby, or in the Social Room, and feeling neglected when they have needs that need to be addressed. It would be highly respectable if you went in and just told then that you will contact a MODERATOR to help them and which one are they more comfortable with talking to them in Support Chat, if no one is available to chat with them. Judging someone elses needs may not be your strong suit, and it is not your job to feel uncomfortable dealing with situations in Chat that may jeopardize your Mental Health, and no one expects anyone in Chat to act as a Professional, or put someone elses livelyhood in jeopardy with your life experiences, that you are dealing with yourself in Chat and getting advice for in Chat. The main consequence of Chat is enjoying Chat and the aquaintences, Friendships and Commeraderie that is built through trusting others in chat, and getting the Support you need when and if needed. If Chat can not meet the needs of everyone that comes to chat, then chat or the behavior of the members in chat has to change, for everyones needs to be met effectively and appropriately. Everyone that comes to chat Loves chat, and I truly think that most things occur in chat due to not understanding the rules or prioirities in chat which is Chat is for Support at some degree even at the Social Level. Please be kind to yourselves and others in determining what your needs are in chat, and not intruding on someone elses needs when they are in chat as well. With that said, I intend on seeing everyone I chat with weekly in chat, and hopefully people will start making the appropriate decisions in chat to keep things safe in chat for not only themselves but for everyone else as well. This is a Team Effort, and everyone in chat is necessary to make a difference. Take care and good day to everyone. Soidhonia

[Blue93]

There is no such rule about how many people are allowed in support chat, but I do agree that 3 is more then enough. Otherwise to me it feels like to much of a crowd. That's what I think anyway.
Also the people that come to support for well support, I know I just leave if there's to much of a crowd or people are being unsuportive. So yes I do agree.. if there are already a few people in support that is enough. Also please if you need support yourself you can always make your own room...

[Soidhonia]

Thank you Blue for your opinion on what your needs are in Support Chat. Some people do feel threatened in Support chat, and feel that when too many people are in Support Chat that they cant speak freely, or feel intimidated that there are too many people in the room. That is Why it is so important to use the best discretion for the people involved in the Support Room. If IT becomes apparent that someone is uncomfortable in Support Chat, then it is probably Best for the person needing support to make a password protected Private Room, or the Supporter to make a Private Room that is Password Protected since not all people needing support or in Support Chat may be able to do so for themselves. The main thing is not to leave someone else in Support Chat alone without trying to find someone for them to chat with as well, so it is a considerate situation for everyone involved. It does take more time to find a person to come to Support Chat that may be in Social Chat or to contact a moderator, but it is much more beneficial for the person in Support chat that may be left alone temporarily to help them feel less abandoned and isolated, and that someone is concerned for their needs if someone steps in to help then when they can not help themselves. Team Effort is a valuable Tool for everyone, and I am very proud that most people in chat are responsible enough to understand the consequences of Team Work, and that helps others feel safer in chat. Take care everyone have a Great weekend. Soidhonia.

[(JD)]

While I disagree with the tone this thread has taken, perhaps the only thing to do to solve this PROBLEM is to use the support room for the same purpose as the Lobby... and meet up there and immediately make a private room. Of course, few ppl respect the guidelines for the Lobby, but one can always gently urge compliance.

[Fuzzybear]