[christopherm317]

I'm a stay at home Mom with a little girl about to be one. She is my pride in life. I planned to have a beautiful little girl and it took me and my husband about one day to create such a beauty. Now for the down side. When I was pregnant my husband left for active duty. I had a real depression issue through out my whole pregnancy. Not to mention I moved in with my mother to have someone while my husband was gone. I. E. Me and my Mom hate one another. This child has brought us closer but not enough. So I have my daughter. She came out with a smile and no screams. The doctor made her scream it took him two whole minutes to get her to make a sound. At about 3 months she stared showing signs of advancement. From rolling to crawling to talking she has always been a fast learner. At four months I started having problems with her throwing temper tamp trims. No kidding no it was not my imagination. She would holler and kick on the floor like a two year old not getting their way. Slowly she has gotten really attached her mommy is her whole day. I cant leave her site without a fit. Great for my confidence. But I feel in the long run it might hurt her. Tell me what you think. An infant throwing fits her ped. never heard such a thing. She came out looking like a two month old and she has not stopped yet. I can handle her I'm the mommy I know the tricks but my Mom has no clue. And my husband who came home when she was 7 months, has no clue what to do with her. I'm very aggressive but when my daughter was born things changed real quick. No yelling no smoking not even cussing was allowed around my daughter. They say bad behavior is learned but come on a 2 month old has a 5 second memory. Besides she never saw any one act out of line. Yet she knows how to do a lot of angry things. Have you been through this?

[kimmydawn]

some reactions from children are pure emotion. at that point that's all the know and they're bodies react. she feels rage, pain, anger, etc...she reacts to that physically. some actions are not "learned" (i.e. balling fists in rage and screaming, throwing self on floor and lunging towards someone)

she does sound advanced so is picking up on and experiencing more at an earlier age. soon you'll be able to reason with her and it will get easier...you can start breaking the the pure emotion with words that attract.

i think it's imperative for you and her that you have other ppl dealing with her from time to time as well. you've set your bond. she knows who you are in her life. it's important for both of you that others be allowed to temporarily care for her...especially daddy! he should have alone time with her every evening to bond i think.

i'm not a professional. however, i went thru this with my daughter and it was the only way...time will help with reasoning and calm the emotional outbursts. also make sure her time is structured to induce more calm periods. but you have to work with husband on getting him involved. give him the advice he needs to deal then let him do it...on his own. he needs that special time with his daughter, and she needs that time and bond with him...it's imperitive, i think.

obviously, i'm no professional. however, i'm a professional mom and caregiver....one that's been where you're at

gl and let us know!

kd

You sound like you're at your wit's end...you're probably feeling pretty stressed right now. i hope i can help you with my answer.......here goes. you said that you and your mother hate each other? how is that played out? tone of voice? angry words? sarcasm? facial gestures? if you've exhibited any of the above behavior, your daughter has picked up on it. if there is tension where there is a child, they are aware of it. totally. i'm no child expert, but i've been around enough children to learn that they are like little sponges. if it's there, they soak it up.
for the attachment issue, i believe that is probably her age. if you have friends with small children, it would be good to introduce her to them and ease out of the 24/7 that you must be in. of if there is a very good day care nearby, take her for the minimum amount of time. i gather you don't leave her with your mother?? if you can do that, by all means use your mother for a sitter..and remember no baby has ever cried themselves to death..... hope this helps you. pat

[christopherm317]

Thanks for your opinion. I know time apart is great. My real concern is for my daughter learning more then she should when she was first born up till about six months there were no bad vibes between me and my Mom. My daughter learning or seeing anger didn't happen. We bump heads about money and that such. I'm 23 married with a child. I'm one of those people at 6 I acted 12 and at 12 I acted 18. Now I feel like a thirty year old. My Mom does great when it comes to my daughter. Half the time I don't want to leave her but my Mom is very attached to my daughter. So weekends I get some adult time and my Mom watches my kid. I grew up way to fast and I always blamed my Mom. Now having my own daughter I'm beginning to blame genetics a lot more. My daughter acts like a two year old and she is not yet one year old. Yeah she does baby things but when it comes to her way. Its no way but her way. She even try's hurting herself in minor ways just to get what she wants. Dad grandma and Mom don't give into her fits. I have always thought you make your kid the way they are. I don't think that any more. At ten minutes old the nurse was weighing my daughter put her facing away from me. She got this horrible look on her face and turned her head. I got it on tape. She came out getting her way. Yeah she gave dirty looks at ten minutes old. Can you imagine not an hour old snipping her nose. I got this parenting thing down. But some things just amazes me. This little girl knows so much and she is so little. I'm beginning to wonder how much genetics really takes lace in a persons own self. I see a lot of my anger coming out in my daughter. I feel I have control of my life. But this kid I view her as her own person. I'm not like most people who think oh she is a kid just as I was. Nope I think OK what impacts can I or will I make on her life. Then boom she does something like I would do. I talk to professionals and they never have a clue. They always say keep working with her. Well, dah. I know. What I don't know is where she has learned to be demanding and forceful. We do not show my daughter violence. She watches baby cartoons for pete sake. My point to all those who think they know. Genetics plays a huge roll in every little detail of a person. Thanks for your time folks, Happy viewing.