[Overcastbutclearing]

I made a huge mistake.
I have let a lot of people down.
I did not mean to strike out towards DocJohn. I don't even know him.
I was having anger issues in my own life...and I acted inappropriately, childish, and cold hearted.
If you really knew my heart you would have seen it was my illness not me doing the typing that day.
I have upset many. I promise DocJohn and all else I understand the guidelines set before us.
I am ashamed as some of you PM'd me and told me I should.
I know I was disrespectful.
I know, I know , I know.
I will be dealing with this in my actual T appointments as the sorrow I feel is immense.
I am so so sorry.

[wi_fighter]

It's good to have you back, Susan.

(((((((((((Susan)))))))))))

[nothemama8]

Susu as I said before when were symptomatic we do things because of our illness, people understand that it was your illness not you, Welcome back, stop kicking yourself let me kick ya lol hahaha
Love
Angie

[Kathyanita]

You will be OK now. . . i can hear you. . . forgive the illness and work inside it to get out of it.

[Ganesha]

I know how horrible that feels.
I do hope you can forgive yourself...
PC is a big place with lots of forgiving people.
we do understand.
I bet Dr.J does.
Ganesha

Glad you're back. I missed you. pat

[somebodyelse]

(((((Susan)))))

I'm glad you're back. I'm sure everyone will understand that it was your illness that caused it.

[SweetCrusader]

Sweetie, we all make mistakes and we all have regrets. I'm sure we've all said some really crappy things at one time or another. I know i have

(((((((((hugs))))))))) if wanted

[darkeyes]

Apologies accepted
But please do not fail to understand you are not the only one here that deals with "the illness or disorder", we all or many of us have major crisis, anger, sadness, none of us are perfect.
Also, at the same time it is unfair to anyone here to become a personal "emotional punching bag", it hurts us too.
So often, I decline from replying when I am in a personal bad place, helps me avoid additional problems.
I confess, I have not always followed this, but work at it.
I hate to take my personal frustrations/anger out on those who are not even responsible or know me.
I do hope you understand, and also know that apologies are accepted.
On the otherhand, I have a hard time being apologized over and over when a problem continues, one of my flaws.
But hey, let us let things go, move on and with hope all get along and try to help each other . . . that is a main purpose for support groups

Take care, also know I wish you better days to come

DE

[TheOrganicAngel]

(((hugs)))

Su, don't worry about it. It happens to everyone. I know I've had times when my BPD just flares up and I morph into Scarface for no logical reason. We all go through rough spots where we feel hurt and angry. It's a part of being human. Please know that I believe no one here thinks badly of you--this forum is the most supportive I've ever seen, and we'll always be here to support you. So don't beat yourself up over it, ok?

Feel better soon.

All the best,

~Alexiel

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((((((SJ)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

What courage you have to apologize for your actions. Be proud of that. I forgive you and hope that you can resolve your anger issues with your T. Take care sweety and hope your feeling better soon. Much luv to ya!!!

wow.....that's awesome to come on and really take a look at yourself.....bravo!.....and have you ever seen a more forgiving bunch of people???????

[eskielover]

I think most of us have gone through this at one time or another with someone we are associated with. I know about a month ago, I was so mad because I can't figure out how to fix myself & all my docs didn't know how to help either. My anger was building & building & building. Finally on a phone conversation with my Pdoc, I reached my limit & fired him while yelling about how mad I was because no one cared or knew what was needed to help. I was mad because I was being sent in circles & I was going in circles myself. I just needed to blow up (which included throwing things all around my home). How childish for a 52 yr old. A couple of days after my blow up, I sat back & tried to put together the pieces, & realized that I no longer had a pdoc....oops. I called up, & with my tail between my legs, asked him to forgive me. He did, & we are back to a working relationship where I still am in charge of myself & what I need, but he is there for support.

Guess we all have to go through this at times, then when we back off, we realize what is was that we really had & the good that was there even though we didn't see it at the time. I can't kick myself for what I did...I needed to do it to make a statement, but after it is all said & done, I realized what I really had & didn't want to live without it either.

We all learn from the things we do,
Debbie

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SJ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
you are forgiven and I am SOOOOOO HAPPY to have you back........It took A LOT of COURAGE to come back and say what you did.....give yourself credit for that.......this place is so forgiving and supporting and it touches my heart like no other......
LOVE YOU {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((( sj ))))))))))))))))))) unconditional acceptance in your welcome back! move forward, sweetie. guilt is a horrible emotion. you've said that you're sorry. that's all you should do. i'm proud of you for it. move on. don't let this keep you down one more second, ok?

peace to you,

kd

[someone_else]

sj0401
I think it's incredibly admirable that you've apologized. imo that shows your heart and that you have tremendous integrity.

I also think it's nothing short of amazing that people in this community showed their willingness to forgive you and embraced you in the way that's been shown in this thread. I've never seen that happen before in an online support community and it's very touching.

[Overcastbutclearing]

I am truly touched. Thank you all.
Trust me...I have a lot of work to do on me but I am ready now more then ever to do the work. No matter what the challenges.

Again , thank you all.

Susan

[MacD]

No Stones Being Cast in This Glass House......Welcome Back!

[(JD)]

Yes, life on the web can be truly humbling at times, eh? I hope you feel better about what you have learned... and sorry that anyone learns a lesson the difficult way. (((hugs)))