[inkblot]

My daughter has 5th grade graduation tonight. My son had preschool graduation. I WAS NEVER TOLD! I am NOTHING to their lives. Their father obviously doesn't want me in it. He only lets me see the kids now since my daughter's T mentioned about Mother's Day and letting me see the kids. I am nothing more than a BABYSITTER. I am supposed to see my kids this weekend--how can I?! I am so upset right now.

[Mahali]

Inky you are their mom or you would not feel so bad now. He was the fool for not telling you. Mom's care and you obviously do.

He cannot make you just a babysitter only you can do that. See your kids and tell them how much you love them. Let them tell you for hours about all the things they have done. Tell them how sorry you are that you missed it. Really listen to them. Give them your ear it is a valuable gift.

Your presence at the events would have been nice but your presence in the children's lives is much more important.

Take care.

[Ganesha]

ohhhhhh
I can see you are so sad...
wish i could give you a hug.
we moms who are not recognized as moms have a special distress.
I am so sorry this is happening to you...
if this helps at all, I like you a lot.
ohhhhhhhhhh
makes me sad too.
Ganesha

[inkblot]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
your presence in the children's lives

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I am sorry, but I have no presence in their lives but a few hours every other weekend now that he is actually letting me see them again. We go to the park, or maybe we will eat. That's BARELY involvement. I want to numb these feelings. I am considering downing the last of my hydrocodones from my recent trip to the ER. It's only four tablets, not enough to do something stupid and I don't want to do anything like that anyway, but it's enough to numb the emotion for the night. I already had cravings tonight to take laxies, etc., before I found out about missing graduation. I am still thinking. I really think I might do the hydrocodone, though. I work in pharmacy, it's not like that serious if I take four of them at once. Maybe at least two. I don't know. Maybe I will take four. I don't know.

[Mahali]

Inky... a few hours is involvement in their lives. It may not be much in your eyes but you are there.

It sounds like you are up against a difficult situation but are working your way back in to the kids lives and that is what counts here.

He was wrong to not tell you about these events but please do not give him more ammunition to use against you in the future. He sounds like somebody who would use it happily.

Sorry if you were offended. It was not the intention.

Please remember there are some people in this world who would give anything for a mother who cared about them at all.

Please take care.

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((((((INKY))))))))))))))))))))))))

The time that you spend with your children may seem small to you but to them, I guarentee its not. Your are a great mom. Please dont blame yourself for this. Their father did not tell you. I know this must be difficult for you and I understand why you are upset. I would be also. I am so very sorry. When you see them, tell them that your sorry and how much you love them. I would also talk with their father and ask him if he can please keep you informed of things like this in the furture. Take care.

[January]

Hi Inky,

Please listen to to advice and comfort given you by the other posters. I add anything better, but I do want you to know that I hurt for you and that I care.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Inky ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Jan

[inkblot]

No, I was never offended. I've had some really bad times lately. Last night was hardly an exception. Alot of tears.

[Rapunzel]

(((((((((((Inky)))))))))))) I wish that I had a voice in all the things that should be happening but aren't. You should have been invited to those graduations. You should be allowed to be a mother to your children (and I think you do make the time you have count, and that must be very important to them). Their father should take some responsibility for your welfare, for your therapy, for helping you to have a place to live. Something is not right in the world, but they're never going to listen to me.

[(JD)]

WOW ((((inky))))) so sorry to hear this! How heartbreaking! Only gal, you gotta ask your children MORE questions... what is going on in their life... and special events they want you at, tell them you want to share these things and to give you a call or a note etc.... maybe he's told them not to bother you with the details and that you don't care or can't handle them? TC!

[Mahali]

Inky,

I hope you saw your kids this weekend. I know times have been very hard lately and you are in pain. I wish there was something I could do to help take it away.

Take care of you.

[eskielover]

Inky,

I know some of the things you have been going through since I joined PC last October, &amp; life hasn't been kind or kind to you &amp; neigher has the father of your children. In reading these posts, it sounds like it is your husband that is trying to keep your children away from you &amp; that they aren't the ones that want to stay away from you. I think that is an important point for you to focus on. I like _Sky's suggestion to talk to your children &amp; have them keep you informed about what is going on it their lives &amp; leave their father out of that conversation.

The one thing I saw in human nature, starting from when I was young, is that when there was something I wanted very bad &amp; there was a situation surrounding it where I got extremely angry, I would end up cheating myself out of it because I was too upset. The only problem with that was that I ended up denying myself the thing(s) that I really wanted.

It is important to remember to spend as much quality time with your children as possible given the situation, so please don't deny them the time they have with you just because you are upset.

Please don't hurt yourself or your children while being upset,

Debbie

[inkblot]

I *do* try to ask my kids, but they don't tell me anything either. When I ask about things going on they just say "nothing".

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((Inky)))))))))))))))))))

Thinking of you. Sending some love and hugs your way.

[inkblot]

I did see me kids for a few hours the past weekend on Sunday. Everyone had a great time! It ended with me discovering a tick in my son's hair and the little sucker (the tick) was stuck on pretty good but I did get off and in one piece. I guess it was a wood tick???

My kids' graduations was really hard on me. Today I got an email from my ex being very firm about scheduling the next visit. That made my day more problematic again reacting to that email. It just made me feel "anxious".

Well, I have to go soon. I am at school and standing at the computer and the lower right side of my stomach started huring a while ago--OUCH! I need to sit for a while and see if it gets any better.

My dental appointment came off better than expected and NO STITCHES! I am doing okay and haven't needed to take any of the Vicodin tabs for pain.

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((((((( Inky ))))))))))))))))))))

I'm glad the dental appt went well, and that you enjoyed your children's visit over the weekend

[Mahali]

I am glad that you saw your kids too. Sounds like you had a good time.

I hope things settle down with the kids father. Hope you feel better too.

Take care.

place

[oksomaybeimnuts]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Inky)))))))))))))))))))))