[Yoda]

I sat down last night & made a list of things I need to do. Everything is important. Some have deadlines. I am short on energy & money & am having a difficult time deciding where to start.

Too many priorities, too little time, energy & money.

Open to suggestions.

The TO DO list:

1. arrange for trash pick up, they stopped billing me several years ago thus I stopped paying & a few months ago they quit taking the trash. I have no idea how much I owe. The thing is even when they were still taking it I only put out trash ~ one time a month. Not sure how to resolve this.

2. drive to town & have CBC drawn once weekly. Then either find something to do in town for four hours while it is processed so I can pick up my clozapine or drive back to town on a different day to pick up the med. (I live rural so driving to town takes a bit of time & $ for gasoline)

3. Go to DMV: find paper showing taxes paid on car or more likely return to sheriff's office for duplicate, renew car registration (dead for awhile - hope to avoid ticket from police), pick up booklet for son to study for student driver's license

4.Go to Bert Wolfe garage: replace brake lights (needed to get inspection sticker which is overdue - also could incite ticket from police), replace vanity light, have them order part to fix glove compartment that they repaired poorly the first time

5.Go to local garage: change oil, rotate tires, check fluid levels, fix piece of plastic from convertible top that has fallen off, get inspection sticker

6. email school personnel re: $ available to provide driver's ed training for son as alternative for school program which son cannot get into

7. go to USPS & pick up mail from po box (haven't been there for > week)

8. pay water bill & electric bill (do I have enough money?)

9. go to hospital & pick up lab reports, EEG, EKG & xray reports from August that I requested TWICE that they be faxed to my primary physician but they were never sent

10. schedule appts with therapist, primary physician, allergist, my psychiatrist, my son's PA who treats his mental illness

11. take pics of model horses to sell on internet to raise money

12. schedule appt with H&R Block (IRS requests taxes/forms to be filed by Oct 23)

13. go to library & print form to show IRS how much money I make & where it goes so they may consider me uncollectible, print credit & debit card reports for each month of 2009 so I can calculate where the money went

14. schedule plumber because kitchen sink has been stopped up for several months so we cannot use dishwasher & we are sick of fast food

15. schedule electrician because we have electrical shorts in both my son's bedroom & bathroom & have no light there

16. schedule heat pump guy to fix heat pump/AC because everything froze up in June & damaged the rubber covering the lines to the air handler so that the AC then dripped water onto my garage floor at the rate of ~ 1 gallon per hour & it was running under my dryer so I was afraid to use the dryer for fear that the water would cause the electric to arc & ruin my dryer or worse yet cause a fire; he hurt his back this summer so I don't know if he is working yet; afraid to call someone I don't know after bad experience with an electrician who told me my whole house needed rewiring at the cost of $5000.00 but I got a second opinion from friend of a friend who said I just needed the box rewired (only charged me $300.00) & I needed a short rewired which I have been delaying because of the house clutter.

17. declutter the house so the repairmen can come in my house without falling (seriously - you cannot see the floor in most of the house, last night I picked up two big bags of garbage sitting in my chair in the living room & still haven't got to the floor)

18. shop for fridge because mine no longer works (another reason we are sick of fast food) & my sister has offered to buy me one if I pick out one

19. call or visit social security office & ask where is the replacement check that we were supposed to receive long ago from when my son received ss $

20. find out what went wrong with my son's SSI application & seek help with person school psychologist suggested could help & ask PA who now treats my son if he believes my son is disabled (several people at school believes my son is disabled but the PA is an ***** & the only reason I have not yet fired him is because his services are free & I do not have much $ to seek a competent dr)

21. send PM to my friend here at psychcentral who has offered to give me free advice on the IRS issue (bless her heart ); I have made notes on what to ask but need to compose the PM now

22. respond to letter I received today saying my property is in violation of county code because of accumulation of rubbish/garbage & weeds/grass is higher than ten inches; (USPS does not deliver to my home address because they say my house no is no longer 469 despite me living here for > 20 years they refuse to deliver mail here because they say I don't live here) thus the notice was written Sept 9 but today I found the letter on my porch & the notice says I have to contact the office within 20 days from receipt to explain my plan - problem has been my asthma prohibits me from mowing or even carrying horse feed to barn so front porch has become "barn annex" so I don't have to carry it far; son is capable of mowing but only has school shoes & don't want to ruin them & never seem to have enough $ to buy "mowing shoes" so I pay someone to weedeat once per month, no it isn't pretty but it is a farm, I bought four big trash cans but somebody ran over two of them while turning around in my driveway & I do not have $ to replace them, It is my 80 acres - nobody can see it unless they are driving down the road past my house - what is the difference? - screw them - but if I don't comply I will have "civil penalties" whatever that is, I have things like part of a wheelbarrow that was delivered damaged & UPS failed to pick up when I complained & some big metal "thingy" in front of my garage that is used to do something with wheels/tires (probably has value to someone but what am I supposed to do with it, three gasoline cans, neighbor's horses got loose (not once but ~ a dozen times & I reported it because they were in the road & a safety hazard but animal control & the sherriff said they don't handle horses , just deal with it) & tore up bags & porch has loose feed & one horse damaged one of the supports for my porch awning & neighbor said she would pay to replace it but she didn't so I am thinking of putting up gate to block their right of way on my property because they didn't comply with the conditions anyway.

23. Drive three hours each way to dental school next week for evaluation by student dentist for my son & I because we have not had dental care for ten years because of low income. Then schedule appts for the actual dental care.

24. Drive my son to school & drop him off 1pm M-F & pick him up on the days he has to stay for fifth block M-Th.

I checked my bank acct last night & I have ~$600 left until Nov 3. Not enough to pay DMV, electrician, plumber, buy food, buy meds, buy gasoline, pay H&R block, buy horse/cat/dog food, et cetera. Only thing I know to do is ask my mother for money which I hate to do or sell horses. Want to go back to work part time but hesitant because IRS will then want that money to pay taxes I owe from 2007 so must seek advice from attorney on how long to wait after IRS decision before I can return to work.

It is all important. Where do I start? HELP!!

[shezbut]

Holey smokes, that's quite a long list of stuff to do!!

okay..lemme see if I can help.

Going to the post office, dmv, and hospital are up there on list of importance. Call electric, social security, and water companies. Electric and water company ought to make payment arrangements and have programs for low-income residents. Apply for help! Be sure to mention the difficulty you're having in those rooms as well. Often, the electricity companies are responsible for repairs. Call your local social security office to make things clear. Find out what papers they need and bring copies today.

Pay the bills that absolutely have to be paid now, and put off making those long trips to the student dentist for another month (or whatever). Yes, you need dental work, but you also need food & home energy. The teeth can wait if they have to. Sucky, yes, but they aren't as important right now. Same rule applies towards car repairs. Oil changes can wait, or go in for cheap deals, etc. But major repairs are going to have to wait & you avoid long trips as much as possible!

You can also call for assistance with tax prep from the government, or a friend. Being low-income and disabled, you are given assistance in several areas. Call the county government, and get a social worker to help you through the confusion. Social workers can help in many ways and several different arenas. Give that a try asap!

Getting your son to/from school, appointments, etc are all top prioirties, of course. Best wishes to you both. Social security can be very confusing & frustrating. Take a deep breath, and let it go slowly.

Shez

[Junerain]

I admire you for writing it all out, something I have to do myself more often...you could keep referring to the list you made, and doing what you can, it always fun to cross off something from the list...

[Shangrala]

I can certainly understand your sense of being overwhelmed, (I know the feeling).
You've made the first big step: Compiling your list...And that's quite the list!! I'll see if I can help you figure it out some.

I've had similar isses, some of what you've mentioned, and I can relate to their importance. Maybe I can offer you some suggestions.

Anything pertaining to your immediate legal issues, such as with DMV, and vehicle repair should be priority as that can eliminate even further immediate problems for you. With that said, perhaps attending to getting your minor repairs to your car fixed before any tickets become a result. I know that because it hasn't happened...yet...makes it not seem a priority, but once pulled over for a fix-it ticket, that only compounds your already extensive list.
So, I would think that #3 & #4 on your list would be priority.

Because of low income, I would think that utility companys have programs for payment plans, so that the existing bills can (or should) be paid in segments to assist you that way.

Tidying of the house may be a start for you, as well, (although I KNOW how difficult that IS just to even start). Starting it IS the hardest part, but once you begin to see 'some' kind of result, it does help tremedously with uncluttering your thoughts, some, as well.
Decluttering the house is primarily for YOUR frame of mind at start. Get yourself some trash bags; one for trash, one for any important papers that you intend to keep, another for the miscellaneous blah blah that can wait for another time to go through. Throw the junk in its appropriate bag, and once filled, close it, set it aside and forget about it for the time being, (other than important papers...you may need that one handy...just in case). The filled trash bags of trash = out the door. The objective is to create a visual progression. So long as you create that for yourself, you WILL also feel a sense of progression, and that alone helps your frame of mind ALOT.

Perhaps, have a calendar on wall specifically for noting of your due dates, of whatever. Sometimes, what's helped me is I've deliberately pre-dated some of the 'more' important ones by a couple days, so that way they get my attention BEFORE they are actually due. (Having my "DUE Calendar" on the wall has saved me from quite a few added penalties and fees that I couldn't afford to pay).

Regarding the errands you need to run, perhaps compile a list of those destinations which are in the same basic radius, whether or not all due at same time, attend to those which fall in a destinatin chain, so to speak. That may assist you regarding unnecessary running around.
Try to make any necessary appointment schedules which fall on same day, or to those which also are neigboring eachother. Again, saving more unnecessary runnings around.

Same regarding necessary phone calls: Compile a list of calls you need to make. Any resulting appointments made, keep a calendar handy to attempt to schedule them according to radius, if possible.

Regarding your home repairs, perhaps, throughout your necessary errands & contacts with others, ask around if they know of anyone who can provide you with services to your needed repairs. You never know what those inquiries will deliver you. Never hurts to ask....lol.

It seems that, because of the extent of your list, and because it includes the various attention to phone calls, online contacts, and physical efforts, maybe categorize your list into 3 seperate sections?
~Phone calls
~Online
~Errands
From there, compile the relating duties into those categories? Try to break them down in relation to eachother, keeping a calendar with notes to help orgainize?

I've been meaning to mention that I have in the past noticed your sig pic, (of the Bryer model horse), and the first time I paid notice to it, reminds me of my years of collecting, as well. I have that very horse in my collection....lol. She is an original, (one of, I think, only 300 made). I, too, am an avid collector, or..have been in past. It's been a couple years since my last addition made to my collection, which is quite extensive now. Had to quit collecting for a while..running out of room for display, as well as my relocating, anyway. Would love to talk to you about the hobby, sometime.

At any rate, I hope that I've helped...even a lil bit for you.

I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how it's going for you. Keep us posted.

Shangrala

[lynn P.]

Wow that's some list Yoda and like Shangrala said - the first step is making a list. I would make another list and this time have 2 categories - something like, things that have to been done ASAP and things that are not so urgent. I wish I could help you more but I'm not the best at organizing the big stuff. Since I love food LOL, the first thing that came to mind for me, is you need to get a fridge - especially since your sister is willing to pay for it. Fast food really adds up and will burn a hole in your wallet fast. Maybe set a goal and do 5 things per day and then reward yourself. Best of luck in prioritizing and take it one step at a time.

[Michah]

Yoda,

Can I ask a couple of questions? Are you on a disability payment? and what support do you have?......can you delegate any of those tasks to others? How old is your son.....is he of age to follow up on his disability eligibility?

I don't know about America, but being on DSP here in Oz, we have access to support through Centerlink, depending on eligibility. Now, I have a fiance who is quite capable of taking care of the household bits and pieces, so I would not be eligible for help with that.......but if you ring social security and speak to a case worker, they may have provisions to help you. Local charities sometimes have "people for hire" to help you with big chores around the house. I think if you where to email your list to a case worker, they would try and help you.

All the other things regarding money, will be overseen by the fact that you do not work at the moment. Someone(I Think Lynn P) mentioned payment plans......yep, I am the queen of payment plans......with elec, phone, gas whatever I can get!!

Yoda, ask for help babe......I was a person who felt that i could do everything myself(I had a family that was NOT free with their kindness or time) and I did not have good friends......I was a single mother with a child and mentally ill......I had to swallow my pride and ask......centrelink(social security) really helped me as best as they could.

This is my fave saying when confronted with lists like yours......

"Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy"Taoist proverb

It might sound contrite right now, but say it all the time and BREATHE and it helps......well, it helps me...

The list may be huge, but not impossible.......take your time, do what you feel instinctively needs to be done first.......and remember your health.....

Take good care and good luck......my thoughts are with you..

Michah

[jensasweetie]

WOW. As the others said that is quite the list. I thought I had a lot to do. The points the others made are great in ways to organize the tasks. At first thought, I was thinking it would be good to set aside time to knock out the calls for scheduling etc. At that point then it could all be on a calendar and give you a feeling for when everything is going to happen. On second thought though making that many calls would drive me insane !! I hate to say it but unfortunately sometimes people can be rude etc on the other end of the line thus breaking your stride while trying to knock the list out.

So, if it were me, I think I would set a goal to have all the calls made within one business week. You then have 5 days to schedule it all. As I am sure you have thought about it, make sure to schedule the less important for farther out than the more imperative. Obviously you don't want too many appts at once or too much money going out at once either.

I agree if your son is old enough have him help with some. Delegation can be the key to getting things like this under control sometimes.

I hope you can get all this done. If I can help with anything to help take the pressure off or maybe a pep talk when down about it let me know.

Jen

[trixielou]

i can relate to this so much. tomorrow is payday & this means doing the bill list going to store. my house is a wreck i have no motivation my mind feels scrambled & confused. all of my meds need refills including 2 new ones which i have to physically go in & drop them off cuz theyre new. well except for klonopins but doc knows im recovering addict so for now hes gotten really strict on putting refills on my bottle so i have to go in & drop it. atleast im still getting them after admitting cocaine relapse to t. i have a lab sheet for blood tests i was supposed to have done be4 my appt yesterday but never managed to do it. laundry piled up dishes piled up house plants are still sitting out on porch & we had snow mixed with rain 2day. everyone is getting ready to come in at any minute hubby at church motherinlaw kept 2 yr old allll day cuz im sick or i think im sick or i think my mind & nerves are just shot right now my dad is coming up the kids get hyper & loud hubby sits there yelling he cant hear his shows best thing is baby should be good & ready 4 bed cant buy a xanax to relax cuz i need to be good so nothing shows up on blood work which would create medication suicide 4 me right now. our temp pastor left out church who basically told the board members they will let us have a bible based na meeting there so now that hes gone theyre trying to sabotage it by making petty complaints. my husband took the key off his chain they gave us & tonite hes trying a different church. God is not there when people act snooty like this. what makes me the most mad is why dont they say it to us instead of having a gossip session & putting it on this one man to come in & sit with one of our meetings. this man has enough on him with his own family of addicts. i have yet to see any of these people but i will gently let them know how i feel. anyways i dunno i feel 4 u cuz u have a lot more irritating type stuff i guess maybe just try one thing each day better than nothing thats what i try to do when things get like this even if its just 2 chores i do

[trixielou]

i apologize yoda for going off on my own rant. im so sorry lol but it gave me a major belly laugh when i read about your town starting in on u for unruly yard. people gave lots of good advice i know its probably easier said than done. well i know it is. if it makes u feel any better we have an electrical current running thru our shower head & we get a bright green notice on our door handle every month cuz we dont get our water bill current. the valve on the side of the house froze last winter cuz hubby didnt winterize it so when summer came one morning we got up & water was shooting up like a fountain. i cant imagine havin an 80 acre farm between 2 dogs & 2 cats we spend $60 every 2 weeks on pet food. i cant imagine horses!!! lol we have an australian shepherd herding type dog we are trying to find a good home for. maybe she would be a great addition to your farm to keep your neighbors horses in check. i have never seen such a small dog with so much strength! i have a hubby who just wont do the odds & ends around the house that break. just like the hinges on the gate broke on our back deck & he just got done sitting here saying it wouldve worked fine all winter on one hinge but it managed to get all twisted & turned upside down. i just was like do u know how to fix hinges i guess he got the point cuz he was like yeah i was gonna buy some on payday. the strip on the bottom of the fridge door that makes it seal is half hanging down so i said put liquid nail on it at bedtime & it will set overnite. i guess like everyone said do priority stuff first & other things like with farm see maybe if u can get help to clean or move stuff

[Yoda]

Thanks for listening and providing support and ideas. I like the idea of delegating. My son needs some coaxing and instruction on how to do some tasks but he is capable of helping declutter so we can have a path for our plumber, electrician, etc. He should be able to call Soc Sec and ask why he has not received his missing check but he will need some help from mum to complete the SSI application.

When I made my list I was healthier but now have some illness that limits my energy to be productive. So add to my to do list - go see family doc about positive blood cultures.

I am going to try to focus on a few items at a time until I am less sick.

So far...

2. drive to town & have CBC drawn once weekly. Drive back to town next day to pick up med. I think my meds have to be high priority because if my mental illness gets worse that would limit my effectiveness to do just about everything.

5.Go to local garage: change oil, rotate tires, check fluid levels, fix piece of plastic from convertible top that has fallen off, get inspection sticker Went to garage and changed oil and got an alignment. Back tires are wearing unevenly so they could not rotate. Will have to save for new tires. They said my brake light bulbs are fine. no prob with wiring so I will take car back after payday and they can work some more on that and replace brake pads and rotors.

7. go to USPS & pick up mail from po box (haven't been there for > week) e done

8. pay water bill & electric bill (do I have enough money?) sent email to electric explaining I spent money on prescriptions and asked if I could delay payment - no problem - will apply for government assistance when program is taking applications early Nov

17. declutter the house so the repairmen can come in my house without falling This is a long term project. Son has already been helping with decluttering.

21. send PM to my friend here at psychcentral who has offered to give me free advice on the IRS issue (bless her heart ); I have made notes on what to ask but need to compose the PM now DONE just need to file papers with IRS and see what happens

22. respond to letter I received today saying my property is in violation of county code because of accumulation of rubbish/garbage & weeds/grass is higher than ten inches First draft letter is composed; I was going to redo to correct grammar/typos but now think I will just send as is

23. Drive three hours each way to dental school next week for evaluation by student dentist for my son & I because we have not had dental care for ten years because of low income. Then schedule appts for the actual dental care. We went last month for evaluation and return this week to begin treatment. Looking forward to a healthier mouth.

24. Drive my son to school & drop him off 1pm M-F & pick him up on the days he has to stay for fifth block M-Th. Son missed several days because I was too sick to drive.

This is the best I can do at the moment.

[nightbird]

Good for you for getting your life in order.

When things get tough, remember to think how wonderful it will feel when these issues are no longer lingering ~ but turn into your accomplishments of the day!

I love the support you received and the help with organizing your list.

You will get through it all and feel so light and relieved when it's over, for sure.

I like to think of this time as 'keeping the ball in the air'!

You are doing G R E A T!

Peace & accomplishments,
Nightbird

[Trying & Caring]

I would be totally overwhelmed w/your list. You have a great "can do" attitude instead of freezing up due to being overwhelmed (as I usually do).

DO check into assistance for bills. Not sure where you are located (sorry, not very observant) but here in the USA we have many gov't programs to help pay electricity, gas or whatever bills, as well as "trustees" at the local level & churches who offer assistance. Searching on-line may provide you w/the resources you need. I live in Indiana & though I am lucky enough to not to have to use these resources, many of my friends do so I have kept a folder for all the ins. & other resources available from the state & we have 2-1-1 here where you dial that on your phone instead of 9-1-1 & they have resources for all kinds of situations from employment to ins. to housing & medical care. Don't know if other states have that.

My MAJOR hassle is w/the ins. co. for my mental health care. The last provider they contracted it out to was so worthless I spent hours on the phone telling them what they are supposed to cover. I wrote a letter of complaint that my husband sent to the HR dept. of his work & they FIRED that company , but now I have to go through so many hoops to figure out the new company's system & policies. I actually was the 1st to complain about the former co. so that co. was so concerned about keeping their contract w/my husband's company that they gave me my own special representative to call when I was sending in a claim & my therapist (big mental health facility) ended up discontinuing being in their "network" as they were so bad so I complained about being punished for their substandard service so they kept paying as if my therapist were "in network" though she was not any longer. My husband is pretty high up in his company so I guess they were trying to keep me happy as after we contacted the HR dept.--which was great for ME--but what about all the other people who were then out of network as this was a big mental health facility so I'm sure other people from my husband's company were affected.

Well, I guess others got wind of our compalints & lodged their own so that company is not longer providing mental health coverage so I don't have my own representative & am having a hard time figuring out how to do the new policy as I want to only claim my therapist's bills, but not my DBT group as I only get 30 "therapy" visists per yr. & they both count as "therapy" but I am having a heck of a time trying to get the mental health facility to only send in claims for my therapy & not DBT.

Oh gosh, SORRY--got into my own stuff here...

Please forgive me. I just know the feeling of being overwhelmed...

[jerrymichele]

Yoda, I'm sorry that we don't know each other, but maybe my suggestions might help. First I should tell you that it's good that you have your list. I know that it's big, but at least you know what needs to be done.
I was thinking that maybe your sister could help you with your house. What you could do is schedule for you, your son, and your sister to have like a cleaning party. All three of you could do one room at a time. I would call around and see what kind of help that you can get with your utilities. I know that Catholic Charities are really good about helping with bills.
You could also see if there is a community free health clinic. They might be able to give you your meds for free. Your son could ask one of his friends if he could catch a ride going to drivers ed, or maybe your sister could help take him. Also, the next time you feel good, you could go ahead and do the maintainance on your car. I know that if you need a tire change alot of places let you set in the car while they do the work. One good thing about it, when it comes to tires it usually doesn't take to long to get them taking care of. It only takes a few hours if that.
Lynn also made a good point about getting a refrigator into your house. That would really save you some money.

[Yoda]

I am still trying to sort through my priorities. Progress is slow.

This is my plan for the week. It is now Mon 7am and I have not slept a bit tonight. Bordering on manic perhaps? Hoping I have energy to make it through without crashing. Debating on taking meds and trying to sleep until noon versus coffee and trying to stay up with no sleep.

I am open to suggestions.

Monday - Drive to town and buy horse feed - MUST DO - Horse demands this!!!!

Drive my son to school & drop him off 1pm M-F & pick him up on the days he has to stay for fifth block M-Th - MUST DO

ASAP take pics of sale model horses and upload to website for sale

ASAP email school principal re: clarify requirements for son to attendance class

go to USPS & pick up mail from po box; mail model horse to artist for Arab costume fitting

budget for Feb - pay water bill & electric bill; call allstate regarding car insurance not debited from acct

declutter the house so the repairmen can come in my house without falling (delegate son to help)

schedule plumber to fix kitchen sink

schedule appt for son to see PA for Adderall rx; schedule therapist appt for self; schedule appt allergist

ASAP I need to pick up the yard to be ready for Feb inspection for violation of county code because of accumulation of rubbish/garbage & weeds/grass is higher than ten inches (delegate for son to help)

ASAP call IRS re: 2 questions for filing federal taxes

Wed drive three hours each way to dental school for my son and me

remind son to call soc sec re missing check/call re credit history

[Shangrala]

Yoda....
I so wish I were close by so that I could help you in any way I possibly could.

I'd do your plumbing, (have done my own and sister's), yardwork, declutter....any errands you'd need....dang...I wish I could help out....sigh.

If you need your sleep, though, wouldn't it be better to get your rest so that you can think more clearly? And after you wakies, then get the feed for your horse after you've dropped son off?

I'm sorry things are difficult for you.

Shangrala

[Yoda]

I wish you were here too. I did sleep about five hours.

I really need to get my act together. It is so hard to do simple things. Very frustrating.

[Shangrala]

How's it going , Yoda?

I'm glad you've gotten some sleep. That can help alot.
I was thinking...isn't there anyone close to you that you can call upon for a little support?

Also..maybe your son has some school friends...have him bring em over for some yard help?...Something like that?

Keep posting. It helps to have support here, too.

Shangrala

[Yoda]

I don't have anybody at the moment. I have lots of internet friends but not that live nearby. I really only have one real friend that lives near me and his approach to cleaning would be to bulldoze and discard everything in his path disregarding its importance. He was dating a girl who I paid to help me clean but I don't know if they broke up or what because she no longer returns my phone calls.

A couple of years ago my sister said she was going to come down every Saturday during the summer to help me clean. She came down one time and got into an argument with my son and never came again. Just as well though because she and I, well she and everybody don't get along.

Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by it all that I am immobilized. I am trying to prioritize and take it bit by bit but it is difficult.

Lots of people say their houses are messy and when I say it they tell me oh it can't be that bad. Yes, it is that bad.

Here is a pic of how bad it is. This is so embarrassing

[Shangrala]

I understand your embarrassment, Yoda, as I've been exactly there my own self ...and not that long ago.

My sister also kept her house like this, but far worse, (she has improved some). For years, my sister suffered seriously from 'saving" everything. It had become so cluttered in her home that there was only a narrow aisle that was available to walk on throughout her house & into each room. It took her years to eventurally and very slowly declutter her home to where there is at least now room to sit.

My point for including this was, well..to let you know that not only are you not alone in your struggle of clutter, but I was watching this documentary on t.v. a week or so ago. It was about those who sufferered from a "saving" disorder ...(gawd, I cannot remember what it was called), but while watching it, I couln't help but to see some of myself and my sister in the behavior of these people. Apparently, the disorder is a genetic trait, which can be treated.
Please know that I'm not implying that you also have this trait.

Also, while watching this documentary, they showed how there are some communities who offer assistance for those who can use help decluttering their homes, which made me think that maybe there is the possibility of such offering in your community?

I'm just trying to help out some way. I wish I could do more to help, Yoda.
(this makes me wish I could just hop onna plane n come to help you out)..sigh.
I realize that even if there were a community service available for you to help you out with this, that would only be another addition to your "To Do" list, (to find the help)..which is already extensive enough.

I'd offer the suggestion to just take a little at a time...like, one bag atta time, but I KNOW exactly what you mean by feeling immobilized by it all. And I know that by offering that, even though it 'sounds' possibly easy enough..it really ISN'T. I truly can personally relate to your struggles.

Keep updating....(lotsa ).

Shangrala

[Renovation]

Great job in making progress. My advice is to pick 3 to 5 items to go after per day and no more. Before you know it, you're half way through the list. Pick a few easy ones and one tougher one. I'm a big list keeper and get a lot of satisfaction from checking stuff off the list. God bless!

Good luck, Yoda.

[lonegael]

Same here. I won't make it even harder for you by suggesting anything more, but i admire your determination to get the stuff done. You know, I and another bipolar friend had a deal where we would sometimes meet just to CLEAN; the person whose house it was (or apartment) would stand for the goodies and we would talk and go room by room. Much faster and more pleasenat than doing it alone! Huggs