[sanityseeker]

It has been an up and down couple of weeks. I leave for 5 days in Vegas tomorrow and it has been tough keeping my emotions in balance. I get so frustrated when the slightest thing overwhelms me and I can't make decisions about anything. The slightest complication and I go crazy with the inability to work my brain. Its exhausting. I try to just accept it and move on to something I can do but it makes me sad when I come face to face with my limitations. I just want my brain to work but sometimes it just doesn't seem able to function much at all.

But I made it through the ups and downs dispite the frustrations and as I try to unwind and prepare for bed I am feeling pretty good. I am relieved to not be in a panic. I am still really nervous about going into the US but I am managing to keep the wild thoughts from consuming me. I am just trying to take it all one step at a time. The thought of being away from home for 5 nights is really freaky but again I am managing to keep myself from getting too panicked about it. I realize how silly it is so I don't talk to anyone about it. I just work it through with affirmations that I will be okay. Stay in the moments and not let my wild ideas get too wild.

I already miss my garden and worry something is going to flower without me being here to witness its. I have spent a lot of time in the garden this past week. Even on the rainy days. Had to cut some things back prematurely today because otherwise they would be laying on the ground by the time I got back home. I feel blessed by my garden.

We will be crossing the border by land which I am really grateful for. Less hastle at the airport I hope. Will need to remember to breath those few minutes at the border.... well the whole time actually. I am so nervous about the crowds and.... nope... not going to got there. One step at a time. I am all packed and I am as ready as I can be. At least the work will be easy. Just running the meetings mostly. No training or major group work to worry about. I also know most of the group so that helps too.

I will be bringing my labtop with me and checking in from time to time. It helps to know you are all here should I need a little support and encouragement to stay the course.

Well I better get off and start preping for bed. It will be an early day.

I am a bit worried because the friend who was going to drive me to my pick up spot in the morning isn't around tonight for me to confirm the arrangements. I am worried she has forgotten. Feel the niggle of panic wanting a grip so will try to shake it off with some meditation or at least some time in silence. I just wish she would call. My plan B isn't a very good one.

[lila11]

Hi sanityseeker, I understand so much!!! I hope that your lift/drive in the morning follows though!!!! I also hope that by now you are getting some much needed sleep. I pronise that that once you cross the border, most of us welcome our northern Amercians.
Vegas is certainly a "happening" place with lots of people and activity. I do hope that you enjoy it, yet know that isn't a good respresenation of the US.

Put the fussbudget away and enjoy, sanityseeker.

[sanityseeker]

Didn't sleep much but my ride came through. The border crossing was painful. They are so snoppy and nasty looking. I almost lost it with his endless stupid nosey questions. Made me so mad. Way over the top. I felt so invaded. I knew it would be that way so I managed to bit my lips together while my driver answered the guys questions.

Lila... its not the US people that I am afraid of.... I have many wonderful American friends giving me many good reasons to love my neighbours.... but the lack of gun control laws makes me nervous of everyone down here that I don't know. I get really paranoid and I imagine everyone has a gun in their pocket or purse or some one is going to charge in start a shooting spree. I know. Irrational but I am constantly having to calm my fears about it. I try to remind myself that probably every second person is a Canadian but it is little comfort.

I am mostly just staying in my room. Fortunately I have internet hookup.... though it is a really really slow 'high speed' unsecured connection so will have to limit my time on line. Its a nice room so when I am not in meetings I will be comfortable enough. Food is really expensive though and not many health choices either. Haven't seen a salad anywhere yet. I did treat myself to a Mother's Day cheesecake though. Yummy. I may need to venture out tomorrow to try to find a grocery store so I can stock up on some fruit at least.

Sorry... I know I shouldn't grumble. I will try to make the most of it. Its hard though cuz I have to walk through the casino to get anywhere and all the noises drive me batty. I look like I have a constant nervous twitch because so many of the sounds just make me cringe. They just stab me in the head and I nearly faint from the effects. Maybe I need to buy some ear plugs. Way too hypersensitive to all the noises everywhere. There is even a roller coaster right outside my window for heaven sake. Geesh!!

Okay... I will stop complaining... I am safe. I am comfortable, I had a yummy peice of cheesecake and I am looking forward to facilitating the meeting tomorrow. All is good. Friday will be here eventually. lol.

[Gabi925]

If panic, anxiety of being in a foreign place make you to write so interesting and well, maybe we should gather money and send you again on a trip :-)

I enjoy a lot reading this thread (too bad I can't be sure it would be saved on my profile and I might lose a day or two from your trip)! It makes me aware of things that I wouldn't even think of.

Three friends wrote and sent me a lot of photos when they visited Las Vegas but no one like you! I noticed that there are a lot of things to visit there, other than Casino. You'll get familiar with the European architecture too. Find someone to walk on those streets. For me there is no fun in walking alone without someone to comment about what we see.
And do complain! I like a lot how are you doing it! And we all usually feel better after! :-)

Hope the meetings go well.

[sanityseeker]

Thanks Gabi. I was feeling badly all day for complaining on here last night. I know so many people would just be tickled to be in my shoes right now. A paid working vacation in Vegas who but me would complain about such a thing. Geesh. So thanks for seeing some value in my rants. It does help to put it out so that I can kind of look at my reactions with some balance. So here's an update....

Thank you Byz. The meeting went very well today. The group was very responsive to my leading them through some organizational development work and it felt good to be affirmed for my abilities. I am going to be joining them all for dinner at the Outback later this evening. I plan to head out early to do some sight seeing. I actually prefer to do it alone so I am not stressed with trying to keep track of anyone or having to negotiate or decide anything. I can just do what I want at my own pace which suits me best. After a long day of listening and talking it will be good to have some time alone before I have to socialize at dinner.

Back in th 80's and 90's I travelled to Europe and the Middle East, South and Central America and parts of Asia for months at a time on several different occassions mostly on my own so it is not unfamiliar to me to explore new places. I have said more times than I can count how much I miss the adventurous, fearless, freespirited person that I once was so maybe I will use this time to breath some life back into her while I am here. I actually saw a billboard about an artshow of some European masters that I want to track down to see so I will figure out where the gallery is and plan to go there tomorrow. I would love to take in a show but they are all pretty pricey and probably pretty loud too so I will pass on that idea.

I did manage to find my way out of the casino for lunch today. I found a nice garden area full of fragrant summer flowers where I sat and listened to the fountain muffle most of the other busy sounds buzz in the background. It was very relaxing.

I didn't sleep much last night. I really miss having an open window with fresh air streaming in and the familiar sounds of home helping to lull me to sleep. It is always hard at the best of times to slow down my brain and to keep the flashing thoughts and imagined voices from keeping me awake. Here I don't know what is real or what is imagined so it is that much more difficult to get myself to sleep. I woke early and felt very off and was worried about how well I was going to be able to retain focus during the meeting but it all went really well so I am pleased about that.

The roller coaster outside my window is operating today. Yesterday it was shut down due to high winds so while it was there it was quiet. Just wonder how late they run the thing. Guess I will find out when its time to try to sleep again tonight.

Okay... I guess I should get out of my room here again while I am still riding on the high of a successful day. Will grab my camera and hit the streets for a couple of hours before dinner.

Take care and thanks for being here.

DooRahs for you, sanityseeker.

[sanityseeker]

Thanks Byz. Another good day. The group is very happy with the work I have been doing with them. They showered me with all kinds of compliments and praises so I am riding high. Feeling pretty tired but its a good tired. Taking a little time away from the group and the crowds in the hotel to rest up in my room before dinner. I will do a bit of prep for tomorrow's final session and then maybe join them all again around a big screen at th MGM to watch the big hockey game tonight. I will see how long I last amid all the noise and energy but it could be a lot of fun if I don't get panicky.

Tomorrow will be a short day finishing up the work and winding up the retreat. Then the rest of the week is free time until we head home on Friday. Some are planning to go to a show tommorrow night and a trip to the canyon and Hover Dame on Thursday. I am not sure I am up for joining them for any of that but I am not letting myself justify an automatic pass either. I will try to stretch my safety boundaries to at least consider making the excursion with them.

All and all I am doing better than I was when I first arrived and I am proud of myself for not giving into all of my fears or over compensating for my hypersensitivity to things. I am less triggered as I become more accustom to these surroundings. Nor am I beating myself up for being so high maintenance amid a group of people who are so carefree and naturally sociable. I am being okay with me as I am. That's pretty good for me.

That's my update for today. I am doing better than I had expected I would and I am consciously not anticipating something coming along to upset the balance. I am just trying to stay in the groove and go with the flow while being careful not to overdo or conversely not to exclude myself because of fear of the unknown. Its all good.

It is wonderful to know how much support I feel knowing I can come here and debrief among folks who get why this is a challenge for me to do. Knowing you can join in my celebration of overcoming enough to join the land of the living. cool.

Yes indeed Byz.... DooRahs for me!!! lol

[sanityseeker]

Don't know what it is about me and threads like this that I start so I don't have to feel all alone but it seems I end up talking to myself. Don't mind me I am having a bit of a woo is me pity party over here. The meetings are done and my performance received rave reviews and now I am melting down. I call it my post production blues. Release the stress of preparing to and pulling off a performance. Now is when I am the most vulnerable to cycling down into a pit of dispair and self loathing. Hating myself for being so fake and feeling so alone for being able to fake it. Confused and angry and lonely and desperate to be real. To be loved. I really don't know. It is just a painful place that I seem unable to avoid going to when I am unwinding. My head wants to explode and I can barely breath and I am too exhausted to do the work to level myself. I have no strength to resist the spinning downward spiral I am in now that the work I came to do is completed. All that is left is to write a summary report of the work produced. I will do that while I am here since we still have a couple of days before we head home.

Everyone else is now in full time holiday mode. They are all going to a show and out again for dinner and making plans together for this and that and the other. I am invited to join in of course but right now I just don't feel up to any more performances. I can't afford any of it either. This has already been an expensive trip. $4 just for a small bottle of water. $6 for a slice of cheese pizza.

Mixing with the group proved costly for me last night when I joined up to play the slots. I have no self control and before I knew it I was down $600. I just couldn't stop once I let myself start. I was winning and then I wasn't and then suddenly I was advancing money on my credit card. I am sick about it. I deliberately left my debit card at home and brought one credit card for hotel registration and emergencies. I totally lost all self control last night. Even the huge fee to advance on a credit card didn't deter me and within a few hours all the money was gone. I can't believe I did that.

I have no work to go home to and my finances are already beyond critical. I have been subsidizing my income with credit since the beginning of the year and it is not a pretty picture. I was so grateful when a prayer was offered for me to have an abundance of work flowing forward. They have no idea how bad things are for me. Their impressions are so not my reality on so many levels. Still I appreciate the prayers and am just trying to trust things will be okay. Been doing that day after day.... month after month and appreciating the dribs and drabs that come as they come.

Okay.... enough with feeding the worry. At home I would push myself out the door for a walk in the forest and some time at the river where I would pray and listen to the sounds of nature's comforting harmonies. Nowhere here for me to go to try to ground myself again. That's funny. To close the workshop I had them all do what I do with every group. I tape a piece of paper on everyone's back and then everyone writes a few words on the paper to express what they appreciate about the person. I participate and today the words 'grounded, controlled & balanced' were among the words written down on my paper. Interesting hey.

I am so tired. I will try a hot shower and maybe a nap to try to settle me down and stop the endless uncontrolable crying. One step at a time. This too shall pass. I hate that I am like this and that translates into I hate myself but it is what it is. I do my best to endure and work my way back to some kind of level. I do the work turning grumbliing into some kind of gratitude. Just takes a while to get there but I must make the effort. I have no other choose.

Thanks for listening to me self. I can be my own best friend. Be here before and survived so will survive this time too. Work it girl. Breath and let go of the built up stress. It will be okay. Give it time. Its okay. You will be okay. Rest now. You have earned it. The next step to take will be clear in time to take it. Show yourself some special kindness.

Thank you self. Its okay. You will be okay.

(((((( sanityseeker ))))))

Goo goo ga joob

[Gabi925]

Originally Posted by sanityseeker

At home I would push myself out the door for a walk in the forest and some time at the river where I would pray and listen to the sounds of nature's comforting harmonies.

Sounds so good! Just imagine... till you reach there.

Now "Put the fussbudget away and enjoy" - don't you think you deserve that? I know very well how is to be a Mom and to think all the time "with that money I could have done something for... my child!" Just stop and think that you were able to do something for you!

And you are not alone - I've told you that my "thread subscription" option is not funtioning. My memory is weak too and I still look to see where is the thread and what else small but interesting details or larger views you have to share about Las Vegas.

[sanityseeker]

thanks for noticing me you guys. I wish I could say my attempts to settle things down have worked but nothing has helped much for very long. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.

I tried to walk down to another hotel to see the art show and water fountain show but I couldn't take the crowds, the flashing lights and all the noise long enough to get there. I went into a drug stores on the way hoping to find some earplugs but no luck. I ended up turning back instead.

anyways....

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by sanityseeker

I tried to walk down to another hotel to see the art show and water fountain show but I couldn't take the crowds, the flashing lights and all the noise long enough to get there.

I've lived on the east coast and on the west coast and survived New York City quite handily but I've never been to Las Vegas. I think you just explained why not! Are you going to be able to see any other parts of the U.S. before you leave?

Btw, around here I see earplugs for sale mostly in hardware stores. I assume there are hardware stores in Las Vegas... somewhere?

[perpetuallysad]

Sanityseeker, I think you are doing a great job. It will be neat for you to go back and look at this when you've returned for your trip and see how well you controlled your fears. I'm proud of you.

Also, a pharmacy should definitely have earplugs. Try asking the pharmacist where they are, maybe if you remember the store's name, call and ask before you venture out again. If I'm remembering right, ear plugs are usually by other ear cleaning things and by the eye drops? Yes, odd combo, but I think that's where they usually are. You could probably even ask the concierge at your hotel where to find some, they are usually very helpful.

[sanityseeker]

Thanks for your suggestions. I appreciate the caring. I can't ask for help but will I will take another look at the pharmacy. If there is a hardware store its not anywhere around here and I am not up for venturing too far away.

I am still not doing very well. Wasn't able to sleep at all last night and I am still loosing the fight the with the tears and defeating thinking. Stress welts and blisters have popped up all over my privates and inner thights, under my arms, behind my ears and on my neck and chest. Burning, stinging pain. Cold cloth helps a little.

Some of the group are heading out to the canyon and dame and then some shopping at outlet stores. I will pass. The distraction might be good but they are a boisterous bunch and confined in a car with them would be way too intense. I have been here before back in the early 90's on the way to New Mexico for a powwow. We spent a couple of nights here in Vegas and visited the canyon and the dame then too. In my former life I travelled quite a bit throughout the US actually including New York, LA Dallas and lots of points in between and along the way. Lots of road trips and many flights in and out for business and pleasure. Way before things got so intense with border crossings and my fears of guns became such a big deal and I became a high maintenance emotional basket case. While I have had episodes of the crazies for most of my life they were fewer and farther between then they are now. Now everything triggers me and I am constantly battling the effects.

I am so tired and think I could actually sleep right now even with the rumbling and screams from the roller coaster but I dare not go there or there will be no hope of sleep again tonight. Tomorrow can't come fast enough.

I will venture out on my own again to try to see the art show. I was going to spend some time around the pool but its pretty crowded and noisy there too so I didn't stay there long. Now the roller coaster is in full operation so the rumbling and the screams are now a constant background noise in my room. I tried to work on the retreat report but my mind can't focus enough to make it worth the effort.

This time tomorrow I will be on my way home. I just focus on that for some comfort.

I hope you find peace, my friend.

[sanityseeker]

thanks byz. Me too.

I just got back from the long treck down to the art gallery at the Ballegio only to not have money for admission. When I stepped outside only to be blasted with the sound of an ambulance that nearly knocked me over and sent me running back inside. I just plugged my ears to block out some of the sounds. Still couldn't find any ear plugs but grabbed a couple of cotton balls from the cosmetic counter and stuffed them in my ears to muffle some of the sounds.

I had deliberately left my credit card in my room to avoid temptation to gamble again not thinking I would need it for anything. I had no cash so no art show for me. I couldn't believe my bad luck. I pushed myself to get there as it was. Of course it brought me to tears that I had messed up and then I started hyperventilating while trying to control them. I did manage to catch the water fountain show. All 3 minutes of it. lol. It was pretty impressive just the same. Probably even more so at night with the addition of a light show.

I even found a quiet garden spot near the fountain. Even heard some birds singing in there. It was nice so I stayed awhile.

Need to go out again one more time with my credit card to pick up some snack food at the pharmacy store to make due for dinner. It seems like there are suddenly even more people on the streets and everywhere. Could just be me though.

Feeling a little better for getting out in spite of the challenges along the way. The welts have gone down for the most part which is a relief and my headache has eased up somewhat too. A good night sleep and I should be good to go again by tomorrow. That is my hope anyways.

[sanityseeker]

I am home. It makes me happy to be home again with my son, my garden and my cats. Everyone greeted me back and all is right with the world again. I can feel the stress leaving my body. Went for a nice long walk through the forest and along the river. Heaven on earth. I think I will finally sleep again tonight.

[FooZe]

Glad you made it back OK, sanityseeker!

Sorry you had such a scary time in my country (albeit not in my part of it). I've lived here for more years than I care to admit, and the last gun I saw (not counting those worn by police on duty) was about 20 years ago. It belonged to a friend (law-abiding, as far as I know) who wanted my help with cleaning it. Some of my neighbors do (illegally) fire in the air to celebrate New Year's. That seems to be diminishing too, but it's not completely gone.

[sanityseeker]

Hi Fool Zero. It was a rough trip and I am glad to be home again. We clapped and cheered when we crossed back into Canada. It was interesting because the Canadian custom's officer asked all the same questions the US guy asked but how she asked was completely different. She even smiled a couple of times and told us somethink of one of her own visits to Vegas. Contrastingly his nasty scowl is still etched in my brain. The contrast feeds my prejudices I am sorry to say especially since he fits the mold of every US custom's officer I have faced since childhood. Just that now they ask many more questions then they did when my mother would take us across to shop for new school clothes every year.

I didn't see any guns while I was there but a saw several vehicles that had gun and even hand granade decales on their windows. That was kind of freeky. I also witnessed a big man berate an elderly lady for inadvertantly cutting a line that only he imagined had formed. They were the only two behind me across a long row or cashier windows. When I was done changing some money his loud admonishment of her when she stepped up to the cashier I was leaving caused me to turn around again. I was disgusted to hear this big man go off on her. She clearly didn't know she had cut ahead of him and tried to apologize but he would have none of it. There were several other windows open so it made no sense. When he wouldn't let up I chimed in and said to him politely that he needed to settle down and show some respect and leave the woman alone. Instead of heeding my advice he yelled at me to mind my own business. I told him it was my business to intervene with a bully and quickly walked away with the woman leaving him still yelling at us both. I am a small 56 year old woman myself. He a 60 something 6 foot something idiot of a man. She was very upset so I stayed with her until she could find her friend. It only hit me afterwards how dangerous it was for me to get inolved. What if he were carrying a concelled weapon and my interferance set him off to do more then yell at me. I raced back to my room to settle the anxiety that my imagination began to escellate.

Later I was watching tv news and there was a story about how the NRA has Obama cow towing to them dispite his gun control retoric because to oppose the NRA is political suicide for politicians so Obama is passing new legislation to keep the NRA happy and thus issues of gun control out of the public discussion. Seems it is now okay for people travelling on trains to be carrying concelled guns. Can't remember the other examples but it just seems to go on and on. The culture of fear and violence so overshadows everyday life in America that it makes me wonder if the insanity will ever stop. I think not. It just gets more and more dangerous in my opinion. My fears are nothing compared to what seems to have a whole nation gripped in the clutches of parinoia and using their constitution's second amendment as justification.

I spent some time last night OD'ing on Canadian news just to get caught up with the world. It didn't surprise me but it did disappoint me who little attention US news shows give to news outside the US. It somewhat explains the narrowness of perspectives on the world down there.

Anyways..... it feels so good to be home in my garden where I can hear the birds singing. It was nice to sit in the garden last night in the silent darkness. It was wonderful to fill my room with fresh cut lilacs. The Vegas light show is pretty amazing but it sure can overstimulate one's senses. I can't imagine what it does to people who work in that environment. They must learn to master the art of some kind of functional disassociation to put up with all of that on a daily basis. Even the hotel registration desk is surrounded by slot machines beeping and ringing and blarring. Yet somehow they all manage to do their jobs in the midst of all of that.

It will take a couple of days in the garden for me to slow things down in my head. It is great fun to be back with the kittens too. One is getting picked up today and the last one will be joining her new family next week. All is right with my world again. Sort of. lol. Just pushing the reality of how much money I blew down there and the consequences.... just pushing thinking about the financial trouble I am in aside. I can't do anything to change what I did. All I can do is learn from the experience and not let it happen ever again. No casinos for me every again. I have no control obviously.

Off to the garden I go.

(((Sanityseeker)))- I just read this thread today. I didn't know you were here............isn't it awful? It's nothing like NYC---you don't know who you are talking to, what they are carrying, wow, you even intervened? Very Brave!!! Been here 4 years, and I am a complete wreck.

They keep trying to get me to go to Doctors down by the strip---but I refuse to drive there.

Aren't the Casinos Horrid?--I am stuck here, and trying so hard to get away...
Land of Debauchery--boos, sex, gambling (oh, yes, I understand that feeling too!!!),
all the noise, and strange people--------------

It's a very surreal place--I hated it the first day I got out here---I miss the breezes from the ocean and the fresh air from home--All the air here is fake; like the people.

Alas, I sold my house in Queens, where I had wonderful gardens I grew from seed--
Fresh produce, herbs for teas, and the quiet of suburban New York.

I have gotten so I don't care much for anything that is happening in this country.
I have an ex- sister-in law up in Ottawa; I should try to get out of here and go up there...........

I think I'd just be okay back in New York--out on Long Island.

I understand things there- the people, the old architecture, all the culture is just a train ride away; and the medical is all there for the taking-----

Wow- I wish I'd have read this sooner, we could have met!!!

God did not intend Man to live in a place where the ground yields no food, and the water is not fit for drinking...........I'm happy for you that you got home.--Theo

[sanityseeker]

Oh Theo.... me too! I wish you would have seen the thread earlier. I would have loved to have met up with you. Funny you should mention the air. That was the first thing I noticed. It kept me awake the first night. I even made the comment to someone in the elevator. I had noticed a lot of people with dry sniffles everytime I travelled the elevator.

I am so sorry you are so unhappy there. I hope you can get out of there soon. It is so barren it is almost spooky. Especially from the airplane. It sickened me to see just how much water is wasted considering there is no natural supply. They even have lush green golf courses. Sick!! That's just so bad on so many levels. Its a big issue in my province.... the pressure to pipe water to the US. Seeing it wasted like that brings it even closer to home for me personally.

Ottawa would be more like New York weather wise I think. I have never been there but I hear the weather can be pretty extreme. Cold wet winters, hot wet summers. Come to southern BC. The place of moderate mild weather most of the year. Clean air and fresh water. We may get a couple of weeks of cold winter and a couple of weeks of hot summer but otherwise it is very mild.

I so wish we would have hooked up. Sounds like we could have talked gardens for hours on end and imagined ourselves somewhere else together. I can't say 'maybe next time' cuz I really can't imagine ever going back there ever again but I can say 'welcome to BC' if you ever venture up this way. Trust me you will have very hard time leaving if you do come for a visit. Mind you there are plenty of folks that can't take the rain. Personally I love my moss and wouldn't give up a drop of it for anything else in the world. The only other places I have lived and loved as much is Switzerland which is very much the same as BC minus the rain. I just can't live without the mountains all around me. Funny too because I have a friend who grew up in the flattest part of the Prairies. She moved to Switzerland to dance with the Basel Ballet Company and she said it took her a long time to adjust to the mountains. She said she felt really clostraphobic and really missed her prairie skies.

I have been taking it slow and easy today. Really appreciative of my blessed surroundings.

Love the mountains also!! When I was younger, I was taken by church group to the White Mountains in New Hampshire.

We climbed all the mountains there--brooks and streams of water sooo beautiful.
I even climbed Mt. Washington!!!

We'll see where life takes me next...perhaps we will meet. I await a higher power to
get me out of here--it goes as it goes....I adore wildflowers, moss also; used to make terrariums...only one on my block in Queens with A section of my front lawn devoted to Queen Annes Lace, Daylilies, Babysbreath, Enormous Sunflowers--used to watch two to three squirrals atop one sunflower!!!

There is nothing more relaxing than kneeling on the ground and weeding, and sowing seed--nothing more spiritual...hands in the soil, sun at your back---xoxo-theo

[sanityseeker]

You are a woman after my own heart Theo. I will have to share my garden pics with you. Best option would be to befriend you at facebook where I share my pics. I posted a few on the garden group here but its not very active so only postd a few one time. PM me if you are on facebook and interested in finding each other there. I live right at the edge of the valley of a mountain range. Mountains are all around me. I even have a large cliff facing my house. I call them my power rocks. So many images in the shapes and cracks. I see new faces everyday and draw great strength from them.