Isolation..Is it a problem for you ?

This is a great thread, thanks for bumping it!

I think Perna has a good suggestion, talking to at least one person a day. When I've forced myself to be friendly and interact with someone, it does often make my day, though I think it depends on how I feel.

Sometimes, though, I get too far disconnected, and I can't get into friendly mode, so people respond in kind. Not meeting my eyes, mechanical greetings, in the case of being in the store, moving on to the next customer (sometimes with more enthusiasm, so that makes me feel bad. though I notice the other customer is "warmer", and that might make them feel better after my awkward/cold interaction). That makes the feeling of isolation and emptiness grow.

I have roommates, but lately I have just shut myself in my room and not spoken to them. Usually when I force myself past this, I'm ok. But one of my roommates the other day commented that I was being "mean". I hadn't intended to. I was just feeling a lot of pain, emptiness and bitterness and it was leaking out, though I tried not to let it. I apologized and let him know that I hadn't intended it, and sometimes things leak out in my tone when I attempt to be friendly or my "normal" self and don't feel like it inside.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
On those days when I'm not at the Animal Shelter walking cross-eyed doggies (pretty dog),
Or at the Homeless Shelter cracking up a despairing person--they see I know what they feel~~just last year, I was in their shoes; and donating scarves I've made-gloves, hats--did alot over the Summer-----------

I enjoy being alone. Chatting happily with myself, my grandson's Panda (he turns on the lights to the stars at night, pulls out the moon--poor Panda--rough work!), or discussing the status of art in the world today with me.......I adore my isolation...my walls tell me much~~~~~~~~Have a love affair with my stupid apartment.I'll be INDOORS this winter!!! yaavooooooooooo!! ain't life grand?

Yeah. Isolation is weird for me too.
I am living in a city with at least half a million people (or more), and I have never felt more alone.
It Sucks.
I was never like this before - 'Withdrawn' in my self.
I believe though that with the right friends and people around one, our personality can shine through.

I really dont feel lonely when I isolate though....I do feel a sense of aloneless and not connected...and it seems the older I get the less I care about relationships...

My anxiety contributes to my isolation. I can go familiar places but I am scared to go new places. This is fairly recent. I used to live a much more varied, interesting life until I developed anxiety about driving. I am an introvert, so it doesn't trouble me overly much but I know life has so much more to offer than what I am experiencing.

Flatbush, Brooklyn????? Hey!!! I was born there!!! Hey there!!!!!! Waving atcha!

Just wanna say, I enjoy my "isolation"--it's morphed into ^^^^^"aloneness", and I don't much care to get into too many relationships either--"DRAMA" gettin old here too!!! Like stillness, like my own company.......strange how you change --"cha cha cha changes" hey?

I have anxiety about driving around out here also, I can relate, ...creeps me out to get lost....then, again...kinda like LIFE--I get lost, then I find myself again.....I tango on...

Hey....waving back at you 4getaboutit...lol thanks for all the comments

I've never felt lonesome in my life. Isolation is so much part of my being that if I had a language of my own it would never occur to me to have a word for isolation. I learned real, real early that other people were solely and only trouble. Absorbed that in its entirety into every bone and cell in my body. It is me. Somehow (not quite sure how) got married. To a lass who needed 99% isolation just like me. I was her exception, she was mine. Which is why we've been isolated together since we were kittens, puppies, and now are ancient, gray, gap-toothed, liver-spotted. Crusoe and Friday, though which is which no one can ever tell. Take care.

I live in a city but have never felt more alone than ever.

Psych central is a saving grace.
(Grace was my grandmothers name).

I think that most people have a tendency to some kind of isolation. Whenever it comes to being a social person there is a real risk of being hurt or maybe even not understanding how to exibit the right effect where we wont be hurt somehow. I think for anyone who struggles with any kind of MI there is a deep sense of inadequacy and that can put any of us in a desire to withdraw and slowly convince ourselves that the effort to interact with others can cause more harm than good.

I know for myself that with what I am struggling with which is a horrible case of PTSD I am isolating. And it is a byproduct of my issue. But as much as people in my past have truely hurt me, even abused me, I still have a love for humanity and a never ending desire to understand humanity. As I have experienced my own struggles I have this deep sense of compassion for others that struggle too.

I have to say that in my time here at PC I have met a lot of people that struggle with different issues and I see that people here, to the depths of them are really very nice people for the most part. What I have learned is that often they truely do not understand their issues and often they can trigger and react in a way that just shows me that somewhere they lacked the right caregiver to help them address life properly and truely feel worthy somehow.

Fortunately I was able to lead a life path that allowed me to see a lot of where many issues begin. Pretty much anyone that has read a lot of my posts can read a constant message about children and how they imprint and what it means to each person when they get olde. I have expressed how it can truely effect their perceptions about themselves and others and life in general. I, myself, am very much included in that complicated developement of perception issues that can impede my own judgements and reactions to other human beings. I truely can see why different people isolate, get confused, depressed and have a difficult time understanding life, themselves and others. I have seen members react against each other at times and because I have learned some things about their troubled pasts I can often see why they react poorly to each other. I find that very triggering because that is all I saw growing up being the youngest and seeing members of my family fighting all the time. It was all about each of them displaying their own issues and not knowing anything but acting out poorly. Now I can see all the reasons, but as the youngest of three children in a house of chaos, I truely could not see it for what it was back then, only that I never felt safe and had a constant question of why it was that way.

Because of the way I have been exposed to so many children over many years, so many people who have shown me so many different variations of lifestyles, I have learned a lot. And even though it might seem that along the way I did learn alot, well, I still had my own issues that were presented to me when I grew up. I had a lot of challenges with other human beings in my life and while I did my best to deal and overcome etc, well, it definitely left some scars that I was truely not aware of. In that I am very much challenged just like many other members here at PC. I think that one of the reasons this site is so attractive to many is that after a while of being here we all learn that to some extent, we are not as alone as we had thought.

TRIGGERS! Wow, when I first came to PC I had no idea what that meant. I had not really been exposed to a therapist that had explained that to me, why is beyond me, perhaps either therapists assumed that I somehow knew what that meant or perhaps they themsleves didn't know what that meant. All I know is that when I came here the one thing I did know is I had a diagnosis that I truely didn't understand and the one word I heard all my life is that I WAS VERY MISUNDERSTOOD. So when I came here I just decided to openly address other people and let myself hang out there. However I was crippled with constant anxiety that I truely didn't understand as well. I was consumed by PTSD symptoms and I truely didnt understand what that meant either. Oh I did try to understand it, but unfortunately I must have met every psychiatrist and therapist that seemed to know enough to diagnose it but clearly either didn't understand it or know how to explain it to a patient.

I joined PC in March and was leaving a therapist that had admitted being a recovering haroine/alcohol addict, self procraimed narcissistic tendencies and was also addressing severe anxiety issues and oh, and admitted habitual lier. Ok, can you imagine that? Oh, and he was going through a divorce and told me that he was very behind on his maturity level as all addicts are and he could not seem to stay in any relationship more than five years, oh, do I feel sorry for those women. Ofcourse I had been in therapy a couple of months treating my PTSD, which he made some mistakes in treating me, and I didn't learn about him right away, thankfully I made a decision to interview him in a kind of sneaky way and he was going through so much he felt I was very intelligent and capable of taking his issues on. And there is that dam word intelligent again, an oh, I should be a therapist too. Sigh............

So, to say the least, I was not in the best frame of mind when I came to PC and I was isolating in total confusion. The one thing I didn't do is put anyone on ignore or block anyone, I was learning about what triggers were for the first time and started a journey into discovering that I had ALOT of triggers that I was truely not aware of. Sometimes I felt that, MY GOD, I am going to go crazy with this PC. And I almost left a few times because I was triggered and I was very confused not only in PC, about PC, but outside PC as well. And I could not seem to locate a therapist that truely specialized in treating PTSD in my area other than a place that specialized in it that charged a patient $300 for the initial visit and $250 per session which I truely could not afford as I have no insurance.

If anyone knows me at all perhaps they might remember my constant efforts to put PTSD into words and I know many of my posts were somewhat lenghty. Actually I have learned the what I was doing was really good for me, something trama victims are encouraged to do.

I have been isolating as much I can while trying to unravel so much confusion within myself and coming to PC. I truely understand why people isolate and even come here and even find some solace in PC.
I have learned so much by coming here and I did finally find a therapist that isn't perfect but I am trying to work with him and focus on building a relationship that is truely theraputic. How I look at isolating is that I have been dealing with a lot of things that I truely did not understand and I did know that I was extremely sensitive and could not control many of the effects of the PTSD that I was struggling with. I think that isolation can be very problematic if someone doesn't make efforts to truely understand WHY they are isolating. I was not able to completely isolate, I had to still try to work and I also was still being very challenged and even trapped in a bad situation that truely aggrivated my disorder or psychological condition. I don't know if that was good or bad but it sure did present crippling triggers that I was truely not aware of or had the ability to comprehend or control. I truely feel that I was not given enough down time to comprehend what I am addressing. It has been very difficult.

I understand why different members want to isolate, even embrace it, as I have done that myself. The one thing I urge anyone who isolates is to find out why you feel that need, keep digging deeper and though it may seem that is the only way to feel safe in life, that can be a perception problem. As much as I have been isolating as much as possible IRL, I have not been isolating completely because I have come here to PC. I am learning all the time, about others, about myself and my goal is to find a better understanding of myself and give myself a right to participate more in interacting with others IRL and not just isolate. I understand that personal journey for each person, that sense of a need for isolation, but my recomendation is to not give up on yourself and to find ways to connect again. We are all sensitive,
but we all have to recognize that we are all human and we all deserve to find ways to connect to each others IRL. I have a lot of respect for other members here at PC and I have learned a lot from many here.
I wish all well in their search to understand others better and understand themselves as well.

Open Eyes

Isolation has been a big problem for me. I went into hibernation and stopped talking to everyone and when I finally decided to come back out and join the world I realized there was nobody there who wanted anything to do with me..It is a struggle everyday to put yourself out there and talk to people. I also deal with some pretty intense social anxiety so in my mind it makes conversations awkward.

I think isolation for me is about perceived opportunity; if I wanted to reach out, do I think there is someone I can reach out to who would care. That has two parts; whether I think there is someone I can reach out to -- that would take me having done the work to create some sort of relationship with someone and/or my believing if I reached out to X person they would respond -- and do I want to reach out.

Sometimes I reach out and think someone does/does not respond and sometimes I reach out and someone does not respond and sometimes I do not reach out and think someone won't respond if I do or I do not reach out, hope someone will reach in. Lot of iffy thinking in one, three, and four where it could all be dependent on me if I get a response or not.

((((((Perna)))))) and ((((supraguy)))))

Perna, you have a lot to you, good advice in PC, keep trying to connect IRL all your questions are pretty much what most feel.

supraguy, keep trying we can only learn to swim if we make attempts to actually get in the water and try.

Open Eyes

Since I moved to the big city I feel totally isolated, and I am a people person so it sucks!

Grace is my daughter's middle name. Where's Callisto? 'hope you find
new connections in the city! I feel safe alone, but like to be with real people.

Its very difficult to find the type of friend that you can really trust, it doesnt have to be complete trust. I think isolation is terrible, and many elderly are like that and some people have felt like that forever. I think the good aspect is that some have learned to be content with being alone - I guess the mind just reprogrammes itself - not sure - I think it also perception.
mala

Americans Have Fewer Friends Outside the Family, Duke Study Shows

Lots of comments on this issue.....thanks...lots of wisdom...from loving the aloneness to dreading it...I love being with me..lol....When I was younger I had lots of friends but today I just like being by myself....Take care and be well Peter..........

Not exactly, I guess I'm a bit used to it because I was always left out of things when I was little and recently in one of my group of "friends" last year. It's nice being alone as long as long you're not forced to though.
I have lots of friends, sometimes I talk alot, and sometimes I pretend I'm not there and just silently entertain myself by daydreaming or watching them mess around. Even when I talk to a friend alot and become very close with them, I still feel isolated, because I always have to hide a big part of me away from them. The less I give them, the less they can take away, that's what I've learned from life.

Thanks for sharing that Mono....Thats wisdom in a nutshell...Peter

This thread was started a long time ago but...yeah. I have a lot of issues with isolation. If I didn't go to school and work, I wouldn't see or be near anyone. No one calls on the phone, and I don't have any close friends. I do not have any family that I am close to or even communicate with.

I can't pinpoint whether I put myself in this position or if it's just how things are. I know I can be a difficult person but is it because I was born a bad person or because I've grown this thick, prickly outer skin that no one can stand to be near?

I'm 33 years old and this has been going on since my early 20's, getting progressively worse. I want desperately to have friends, a relationship...just...people. I want to be hugged. You know? But I think that, now, when people do touch me it's so foreign that I push it away...

Yeah. I isolate to the point where my friends come to house to check on me because i dont answer phone or anything. Theres one i will answer now because found out she starts calling hospitals. I dont know whats wrong with me.

Yes. It is very easy to feel lonely even in a crowd.

Isolation is prison..im so lonely....i feel like i will die a slow and lonely death. Im so stuck i dont know how to break free. Isolation i hate the word, the thought the idea but then i stay in my house anyhow, protected from the world. So alone and so terribly broken. I want to go live outside of my house and be social but each time i try all i can think about is getting back home. My life feels fragile. Each time i try to get out and socialize i feel lower than low, and people are not kind, and i feel like i am lost in a wave of people who have no good intent

{{{{Miss}}}} I feel the same way when I get physically touched... I actually jump and dont know how to react.....I miss being touched...not just physically...but mainly emotionally and spiritually....Its the HEART thing that I miss....Those feeling that make the uncomfortable ones nothing and seem all worthwhile....Thanks....Peter