Let's start fresh ;)

Thank you Darkeyes and Nowheretorun

I have thought several times about answering this, but everytime I try I am overcome with too much emotion and gratitude to even keep my thoughts in order to do so.

To All here who are starting over with me......

My name is Deanna, I am 41 and married to the same great guy for 22 years. We have 3 great daughters--one married, one in college and one in high school. And we have 1 grandson who is the absolute joy of our lives who is 3 years old.

I have struggled with depression, I know now for most of my life. The panic attacks started almost 16 years ago shortly after the birth of my last daughter. The agoraphobia and the obsessive thoughts came soon after, with the agoraphobia reaching the point that I have become housebound for over a year now. Though last spring we did have to move out of the farm we were renting back into town--so with the help of a hypno-therapist I was able to do that.

With that under my belt, I was feeling pretty confidant that the agoraphobia was going to end as I could see myself making progress, however, that doesn't seem to be the case as I can feel myself sinking back into it all over again. Very frustrating to be able to recognize it and see it coming and to just not have the energy or the gumption or the whatever to stop it dead in it's tracks!

I came to this board after finding my old support board on Conquer Anxiety had ceased to be, hoping to reconnect with those I had come to love and respect so much there. They are here, as well as many more of you who are equally as wonderful and caring, and I have come to care for all of you also!

Take care and God bless, Deanna

Dee,

As I read all of the different postings and replies I can't imagine where I had been hiding. These are the most wonderful, forgiving people I have ever met. I think maybe it is because we can connect with each other on so many different levels. I hope that I can give back to all of you what you have already given to me.

I look forward to coming to know each of you a lot better-as I believe we are all kindred spirits....

hugs to all
jac

Hi All,
My name is Carrie. In the words of my favorite card which I have framed in my bedroom "What can I say but I'm working on it, all of it--everything in its entirety; I have left nothing out. I can't say when it'll be complete only that I'll not cease until it's longer, rounder, tighter...and with a little more red."--Pondering Pool. I am glad to meet you all.
Carrie

...uh, do you want to know more? I live in Tacoma Washington. I have 1 dog, 1 cat, 1 fish, 1 daughter, 1 son and 1 husband all of whom I love dearly (except the cat first thing in the morning when she starts yowling for food and I find that there is none left). I own 1 house, yellow with green trim and red around the window frame built in 1929, with 1 bathroom, blue with white trim and silver fawcetts. We also have 2 cars (saturn and dodge), 2 computers (Tiny piece of Crap and a 10 year old mac), 2 tvs (a 13 inch and a 27 inch built in 1986 which only has the colors green and light green left on the piture tube) and 2 stereos (one big one with lousy sound and one little one that sounds great but gets louder when you try to turn the volume down). I have had 3 therapists (2 of which dumped me and 1 who is kind and patient). I have seen The kind one for 3 years, am on 2 medications (remeron & Wellbutrin) prescribed to me by 1 psychiatrist (who is also kind and patient). I only have 1 diagnosis which is Borderline (which I agree with since I matched all the criteria except one but I am much better now). Mostly I am happy. I am greatful that I had a mental breakdown 3 years ago because if it wasn't for going over the edge, off the cliff, under the deep dark water I would still be living 1/2 a life, one that was sad and lonely even though I was surrounded by the people I love. I have hope for the future and respect for the past and greet the present with all the enthusiasm I can muster in the moment...and I am as cute as a bug in the rug...you pick the bug. Ha ha. My hair is midnight burgandy black (which you can find in a Ferria box). My roots are dark brown (with more grey then I like to admit). I am 36 years old and I like the picture on my driver"s liscense. I have piggy toes and green eyes and white imperfect teeth (small chip on front tooth). Right now I am wearing a red shortsleeved t-shirt, long black skirt with mirrors sewn in and bells the jingle when I walk, red socks, green underwear and a pink bra with purple flowers...uh is that too much? Tee hee.
Love ya all,
Carrie, Zen, Zenobia Whisperwind, Crow, WillyBear, Hey You, Sea Lynn, Stink Pot, Carrie Girl, Care Bear, and of course Mom.

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

I really like this post. I think it can be a great tool for us to get to know each other better. So ((((((((((Heather)))))))))) sweetie - Thank you!

Hi - I'm Sam.

Like KV - I am a MtF transsexual. Wow - somehow that sounds worst than it is. When I first came to this wonderful forum - I had thought I was a mere crossdresser. Since then, it has been like the pieces of a puzzle has been fitted together.

I don't honestly know - as I have always had certain feelings that doesn't fit in with being male, if I came to this point because I've always been more in tune with my femnine side, or if I came to this point due to my embracing my femnine side by wearing the clothing. And when I think of it - does it matter? If I were 21 - I'd be interested maybe in having surgery. But I'm not certain of that. I like my body - a good thing considering I love women (I just wish they loved me .. sighsss).

I also suffer from depression - brought on by my childhood (I was adopted and reared by an aunt and uncle who had a son - who despised having to share his parents with anyone. That and the stress of struggling to make ends meet. I loss my regular job 3 years ago and while I am working now - I've accumlated a serious debt that lays heavily upon my mind 24/7.

I love life (always have) and believe it is easier to like - to love than it is to hate. I try being positive ofr being negative doesn't get me anywhere - except deeper in the hole I so want out of.

Anyway - thats me - good and bad and all in one body.

Your friend Sam


Anyone can say I love you, but actions speak louder than words.

<center>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sam/Sheila}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

</center>

<font color=blue>Don't die with your music still in you.</font color=blue>

Hi Sept Morn,

I like that picture you have there

Best,
Toni

[i] What our mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve.

Hi Heather,

What a wonderful and beautiful thread you've started Thank you (oh, also thank you for looking for me . Like I always said before, you are just the best My salutation!!

Hi Everyone,

I'm Toni, have suffered depression for 3 years, once suicidal. Have never tried any sort of medication tough, just hated the idea. But I think I've somehow recovered cause I feel all right 90% of the time. I would like share with you what I've learnt from the experience.

During the depression, I always thought I had the worst luck and without any hope, I saw no point of continuing my life, but what changed me was just a simple decision of giving myself one more chance, and that had turned my life around. Still can't believe how it happened, and how it went on afterwards cause it's been only a decision. That's why I believe our mind does have the power of making miricles, of course except the almight power with God.

I'm so very happy to have found this forum, to have met a group of wonderful people I have caught up with the recent threads posted while I was gone on my holiday. Although some disagreements were disturbing us, but what more important is that we have the ability to work our difference out, through giving respects, understanding, acceptance, patience, communication. Everyone has been so broad minded and warm hearted in talking to each other, that is just great. Who said we can't have difference, I think that is exact what keeps our converstations more alive, diversity is what maximizes creativity.

I'm very honored to be a part of this forum. And I really apprciated to those who have been listening to me, and even offered some greatest advice to help me be strong and grow. I hope I could offer the same, and more.

Nice to meet you all

Best,
Toni

[i] What our mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve.

Hey... I love you Sam **********SMOOOCHIES********** Yer a great guy!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Everyone}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am loving this What a wonderful way to get to know you all more.


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

Ok, if we're being really open and honest.....
Light brown originally but the grays betray me so the Loreal box says dark mahogany brown. ;O)
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

Thanks for this Heather!

I'm 6' 0", 48 yo, 198lbs, salt and pepper (the salt is winning, help!) I have a wife who is truly my soulmate. I have put her thru so much, but she continues to stand right by my side, and never a day passes that we don't say, "I love you", I have three children who are the candles that light my way. A beautiful granddaughter (she's the pic below my name when I post) who I plan to spoil a lot.

I was dx'd several years back with Bipolar II disorder, and had a bombshell dropped on me last week when my psych told me that he believes I have mild to moderate ADD as well. I've been pretty upset about that. It just makes me wonder how much life is going to give me to handle. I love to talk about other people's feelings, but I like to keep mine inside.

Anyway, that's me.

bp

OH, and I heard somewhere that Heidu has gray hair, but you didn't hear it from me....

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to work."

Consider yourself smacked old man
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

Thanks!!

Isn't she just DIVINE???????

The credit of finding her goes to Heather.

<font color=blue>Don't die with your music still in you.</font color=blue>

My name is Fuzzy and I hope to see you in chat

Love,
Fuzzy

((((((((((((((( Fuzzy )))))))))))))

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

Hey "Beep"
We now have both the same "dx's", I was hit with both at once during "dx" ing , now almost 4 years ago
But we'll get through it, right ?????????
Anyone that hasn't met this great guy, bptoo, yet will be glad when you do
Take care my great friend
** hugs **
"darkeyes"

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

((((((((((SeptemberMorn))))))))))

Thank you sweetie ... I really loved those hugs.

Your friend Sam (who has never been known to turn down a hug - well, there was that one time, BUT - WE AIN'T GOING THERE!) ... lol

Anyone can say I love you, but actions speak louder than words.

<Sam walks over to (((((Willow))))) and whispers in her ear ... I LOVE YOU TOO!

I pale in comparison with you sweetie.

Your friend Sam (who LOVES smooochies!)

I got smooochies from Willow! I'm in Heaven! Sighsss [smiles]

Anyone can say I love you, but actions speak louder than words.

I'm a little late on this one but.....

My name is "Angelheart", I am 21 years old and I live in northeast Texas. I was diagnosed with bipolar and severe depression in March of 2001. After being in and out of hospitals for the past three years, I think we FINALLY have the right combination of meds!!!! I also plan to start college in the spring.. I want to major in Social Work...

~Angelheart

<font color=purple>"Death is my only hope!!"</font color=purple>

Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful...
You might as well live.

-Dorothy Parker