confusion

i have realized a long time ago i have a very hard time making a decision..i cannot seem to tell whether one choice is better than the other,,i second guess myself and also others(depending on who they are)....i can come up with many pros and cons ,, each cancelling out the other..when i feel stongly in one decision,its like my courage goes away to believe it,then i end up either letting someone else tell me the answer or i withdraw and make no decisions,,sometimes i change my mind because the pain of the outcome of the decision is too unbearable to go through,,probably missing alot in life because of how i am constantly waiting...i cant find truth or step back to see it..and whos truth would it be,,do we all have our own truths to live by..if one person believes something and another does not see it the same way then who is wrong? nobody i guess,,maybe its just that if i stand up for my beliefs i will be alone..i dont think anyone would ever feel as strongly as i do about certain things,,am i wrong when most of people dont see things the way i do..or hurt as much..maybe people do feel the same about some issues but are stronger people so it doesnt destroy their lives..and this world is so selfish and harsh,,people seem to just accept things the way they are...i wish i lived in a secluded forest where i can just be me,,and the people who shared my space had morals and love and peace...sorry off topic...anyway my mind is always confused and second guessing..i have stood still for over 2 years and i am going to break if i dont move,,been trying for a few months to reach out but so damn hard

I think most people see and feel what is wrong, but they cna't think about it so much. they find ways to distract themselves, because otherwise, they would break under the pain. Some people just can't think of the rest of the world, the world they have n front of them and the things they have to do to keep themselves and thei families alive are crushing responsibilities that keep their heads bowed and their eyes on the ground. It's not that they don't care, dear, it's just that they can't afford to stop and look. They have to keep going.I don't even think that it is an issue of strength, it's simply an issue of each of us having to find a way to live in a world that is so far less than perfect, so far less than even decent. The hard thing is the second guessing, trying to find motives for others is so temtping because it offers protection for us, but for me, it ussually has only caused me to lable other's actions unfairly. Reach on out, most of the world just wants to make it another day. HUGGSS

I sometimes draw a chart with the choices along the top - often I have more than two choices - and write the pros of each near the top of the columns and the cons near the bottoms of the column and then I look and decide what is the relative weight of the various options.
About one's own space it's very important to ensure one has good living space, a nice home. That helps one have that wonderful peaceful forest you wrote about. Then when one goes to meet people one brings the peace with one. Some people aren't interested, so one doesn't spend a lot of time or energy on them.
It's all very mysterious what is destined to happen in this world and the part we can play in its evolution. We can change our little corner of it and how big that little corner is depends on our energy levels and gifts of all kinds. It's a gift in itself to be sensitive to the problems of this world and to have aspirations in different issues.

Dear Wands,, it may be that all the thinking is actually hiding a brain disfunction. i know that for many years, i could say Yes or No, to ONE thing, but as soon as i was offered TWO things, i was lost. i simply could not choose. and if there were Three Things,, oh my, i became distressed~! so, i hit upon a simple solution,, First: tell everyone -- Don't offer me choices~! well, life isn't like that, so Second: ask someone i trust to chose for me~! well, life isn't always accomodating, so in the end, i would just toss a coin 3 times, 2 heads i went with the active choice, 2 tails i went with the passive choice. it worked for me for years. it's actually amazing how many choices really aren't so important that they can't be decided by the toss of a coin~!! anyway, i'm glad you posted on this topic, it reminded me how much i have been able to move on, and i hope that you find that as you relax, your mind also will become less anxious about choosing.

Oh Dear Queen,

Come and live in my forest, it's a rainforest and indescribably breathtakingly beautiful! There are no bad folk, no mean folk, no terrorists, no selfish people, and there are lots of waterfalls, creeks, wild animals unafraid of humans because they know we would'n't hurt them.

Planted gardens of vegetables and fruits, the air fresh and green, the canopy so high above that your neck cranes to see it and to try to catch a glimpse of the sun trying to push it's way through the leaves of 3oo and 1000 year old trees. Orchids attached to the trees, which will never be disturbed to go to some flower show.

Soft green moss to lay down on, feeling it nice and cool on your skin, cooling you from the greenhouse effect of the canopy. Crystal clear mountain springs, 9ft deep but looking like a little catchpool at the beach rocks where anenomes and tiny crabs live. You can taste the water and wonder why man ever interfered with it, so crisp, clear, clean and fresh, water that truly tastes of nature and natures natural flavour.

Come join me and we can talk a while, or just rest looking up at the canopy, and catching a glimpse of the golden orb weave spider and her web glistening in the sun, and you can feel that everything is good

so peaceful .. thank you ..

my..i never realized before how i was so isolated and confused..i am doing so much better making decisions since i left my relationship..2 days after this post he attacked me and repeatedly said he was going to kill me..hopefully he will be put in jail come Jan 6(one doc said he was an antisocial pschopath)i made so many mistakes but and i am getting ME back..this site is amazing

Wow sorry you been through a lot hope he is jail.big huggs

Your strength is amazing Queen, no wonder you were having touble remembering and thinking. what a burden you have been under! Will he be kept in jail until his trial? I hope so, my dear. You have been through so much and you deserve even this small bit of peace this oliday. HUGGGGGSSSSS!

tyvm lonegael,,he is on house arrest..trial is on jan 6..then i can move forward safely..HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS...

That description was as lush as the place. How stunningly beautiful. I would love to be in such a place. I've been stuck for a very long time, paralyzed by fear of more failure, and my life has become very small. I feel like the Tin Man in need of oiling. Queen, I'm so glad that you are safer now, and hope things go well in January.