I lost control, I'm lonely now

I lost control at another online support group and now I'm blocked for 4 weeks.

I need some hugs. I feel terrible about what I did. I wasn't thinking straight. I really messed things up. I need a lot of hugs.

<font color="green">Greenleaves</font>

What happened, Greenleaves?

(((((((Greenleaves)))))))

We all lose control, sometimes. I think I lost it last night in Psych Central chat. We are emotional beings, and emotions can be difficult to deal with, from time to time.

Were you out of line? Did you say something wrong, or are the policies of that online website a bit.. extreme?

-Ray

sorry that happened!!

something that helps some people is using the HALT method
When you feel out of control or that you might act impulsively on the computer or elsewhere, leave the situation.

Then really think about how you are feeling...
Are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired?
Try some self care methods instead of the potentially damaging behaviour.
I am sure someone else could explain this better

((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

I got blocked for posting something uncivil. Some people think the policies of that website are a bit extreme, but I also did something really bad (which I didn't get blocked for).

I got upset and was in distress and I posted threats. I didn't get blocked for the threats, but I still feel really horrible about posting them. I lost it. I lost control of myself. I wasn't thinking straight.

I'm much better today. I'm going to see my p-doc on Weds. I almost decided to go to the hospital, but I feel much better today.

<font color="green">Greenleaves</font>

The HALT method sounds like a good idea. It sounds like something I need. I get very impulsive sometimes and it can leave me and others in a bad situation sometimes. It upsets me and others a great deal.

I'm thinking it would be a good idea for me to stay away from that site for a while for things to get back to normal.

First I have to make sure I'm back to normal. I just hope people there will be able to forgive me. I really have to change my impulsive behaviour.

<font color="green">Greenleaves</font>

(((GREENLEAVES)))
I know I act on impulse all too often.
I have done it here in fact...and then I feel so sorry.
I know I need to come to a point where I can think before I REACT. It is a great feat for me to achieve.
Hope you can learn...if nothing else...from all of this and @ the same time know we care about you here!

Sorry you lost control, Greenleaves, and sorry you got blocked. I hope PC can fill the void for the next month.

Thanks for the hugs people.

I'm still feelling unstable. One minute I'm fine, the next I feel like bursting into tears.

I don't have any friends in real life. All my social interactions come from being online. Right now I'm handling the block OK, but I've been completely devastated in the past. I still might go there, 4 weeks is a long time.

I've really messed up my life. I've been really depressed, sleeping all day, skipping classes and skipping midterms. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I really want to get my B.Sc., I have to do well in school. I got desperate after skipping 2 midterms...so desperate I ended up threatening things on that other site. Threatening to do bad things. People got fed up with me when I didn't go to the hospital. People started to think I was being manipulative.

Maybe I am sometimes, I have a BPD, but I was still in a lot of pain. It is soooo difficult for me. I don't know how to help myself. I don't know how to soothe myself. I don't know how to make things better on that site.

<font color="green">Greenleaves</font>

(((((((((((((((((((Greenleaves)))))))))))))))))))
hang in there.

((((((((((Greenleaves)))))))))))))

Thanks for the hugs again.

Thanks friedgreymatter

Thanks fuzzybear

Thanks sj0401

Thanks JustBen

Thanks skyIrks

Thanks Ozzie

I gotta find some way to survive my block...I miss my friends there already.

You guys are a great and hugging bunch though.

<font color="green">Greenleaves</font>