Anxious About Returning to Work

I've never been out from work on short term disability before, so I'm in totally new territory. I work for a large corporation and the STD is handled through corporate. If I'd had any knowledge of how disability works, I wouldn't have had to tell my immediate supervisor what my reason for disability was.

I am quite confident he has not said anything to my co-workers (he better not...is that kind of workplace confidentiality a law or an just an ethic?) One of my co-workers has become a friend of mine. I have spoken with her and said they have been told nothing about where I was, not even that I was out on medical leave, so that left everyone speculating. Some even wondered if I had died!!!!!

I'm anxious about returning to work. (Not sure when that will be as I began therapy this week and my therapist said she has the same authority to write me out of work as my p-doc - I didn't know that!!!) Anxious about the regular type things of getting back into the routine, being fatigued, forgetting parts of my job, etc. But I'm really anxious about how I will be received back by my boss and co-workers. I mean, they're a great group...and maybe these thoughts are coming from my own illness. Now that I'm feeling better, I almost feel "embarrassed" for being out from work for so long. But the rational part of me realizes this is just like any other physical illness and if, say, I would have continued walking around on a broken leg until it was set and mended, things would just get worse. I know if I had returned to work any earlier, I would very likely have ended up walking out if I got stressed and that would be worse.

So...I would be most appreciative of hearing anyone's experience with this. Can anyone identify?

Hi AZ!!!

This is most difficult. Returning to work after an extended period of time off.

Try to just keep yourself focused on you only. Worrying or wondering what others at your job think of your absense will only make matters worse for you. Beleive me, I would constantly ask my friend at work what was said about my absense.

Your going to be just fine. There will be an adjustment period once you return. I think that is normal. Just concentrate on you, your mental health, nothing more.

I have been through this, I know it is not easy. But I also know that your strong, you can handle this.

I am always here for you, remember that. Take care and please keep us posted.


Huggles,


Jen

*HUGS* Jen!!!

You're such a sweetie and always right there cheering me on!! I hope to return this kindness!

Thank you sooo much for your post. Will keep these wonderful tips in mind when I return. *Breathes deeply*

JMO has exactly the right info for you.

Don't worry yourself "prediciting" things that you have no idea to be true. While we do share stories of unsympathetic people in our lives, there are also people who ARE kind and understanding. The "clues" that you have so far point to the fact that they respect your privacy, are acting in a professional manner, and therefore you have nothing to worry about.

Be sure to discuss your job-related fears with your T. In my case I know that I always have anxiety that the symptoms that took me out of work (being unable to concentrate at work, fatigue, etc.) are going to hinder me when I get back... but of course we have been in treatment to remove these problems and it is likely that once you are back at work you will quickly get back-in-the-groove (after a short adjustment period) so I would not worry about that either, that's just another prediction.

Work with your T on reestablishing that inner trust, you know you can do your job, depression may convince you otherwise and put all sorts of doubts in your head, but those are false doubts, so have confidence that the "proof will be in the pudding" and once you return to actually doing (rather than thinking about doing) you will see that all of those skills are still in place and you'll be back in the flow in no time.

Azalysa,
I was off work for 5 months and the thought of going back scared the beejesus out of me. Like you I worried what people would think, what had been said and so on.I was also worried about how I would cope and I knew i was going to be tired.

What happened..................................
Well it was fine. My boss arranged for me to be part time for the first 2 weeks and that helped. I also decided to come clean with my colleagues and told them that I had been suffering from depression. They were all fine. No one treated me like a lepor and suddenly everyone was telling me that they either had similar problems or knew someone who had. It took me a while to get my confidence back, cos I had lost it all. But it all came back and within 2 months I was back to my same confident self. I was a little wiser though about what made me unwell and avoided those situations.

Here I am 5 years later and stil making sure i take care of myself. It really can be done. You can go back and things can work out. It just takes a real leap of faith to beleive it. I was a wreck when I went back but I got through it and Im glad i went back. It was the difference between living in the twilight zone and reality. Getting back to work meant a routine, it meant a definate start and finish to my day and i got my confidence back bit by bit.
I hope it works out for you. Please let us know how you get on when the time comes.

all the girls

*HUGS* Dexter and allthegirls!!

Thank you both so very much for sharing with me your personal stories and victories. The support in your posts is so helpful and so very, VERY appreciated!!

I feel very confident with the new T I have seen and she has told me to not even *think* about work right now. (Easier said than done, huh?) But, at least from one visit, I think I will be able to trust her judgement about when I can return to work. In the meantime, that is precisely the issue for which I sought therapy.

Just started getting into "anxiety mode" about it.