[Charlie_J]

Ok, this is an emergency type thing. Well, an emotional rescue of some kind is needed, even if it's only typing it out and talking to someone...

I just had an important email that I had a nightmare about last night. The nightmare is real. I feel just stupid because I was doing well today. I posted about a couple of things, and then... BAM!!!

I don't care if I am breaking some kind of rule of theirs by talking about this. I need to talk about it. It's been driving my entire life for a year now.

Potted History

I lost a dog in November last year. I worked at that point for exactly twelve hours per week. I came home from a two hour job and a few minutes later he collapsed when he had gone out into the garden. He had cancer, but he had seemed a little better. The vet had put him on steroids. I called my mother at work, and sat in the mud comforting him for an hour and a half while I waitied for her to get back so we could lift him and take him inside together. We don't drive in our house, so we had to rig a couple of trolleys together and put a dog basket on them in order to get him to the vet. He was put to sleep immediately.

The next day, our other remaining dog was due in surgery to remove a growth on his nose, and he came out at the end of the day very woozy, on painkillers, with a lampshade on his head. I arranged to stay with him for the next two weeks until the stitches were removed as he was poorly, and he was suffering from the loss of his friend.

Six days later, two people called to our door at around 7pm from the council (social housing for you american kids) to tell us that a complaint had been made about our dogs barking and they left a copy of a tenancy agreement leaflet. We have been tenants of our council all of my life, which is thirty five years. At this address.

We were sure the complaint was malicious as our next door neighbour is just that kind of sadistic, and we assumed that was the end of it. He'd watched me sitting there in the mud with my dying dog, and obviously enjoyed it on some sick level. He'd probably watched us drag our home made trolley up the street as well. He also knows that it's around ten years since my Dad and brother committed suicide and I found them in our house.

Anyway, come February this year, we received a letter from the council about anti-social behaviour disorder, and we had to meet with a council officer. We did a few days later, and he claimed that he had heard the dog barking in November. He didn't tell us the date. We informed him of our circumstances, and said we were sure it was a malicious complaint. We were ignored, however he said he was to close the case as no further complaints had been received.

Three days later, I was walking home from my two hour job, when I saw him driving up our street. I was home as he got out of his car. He said he was there in response to a complaint. My dog was silent, as always. We've had many dogs over the years, and we've had noisier dogs, which just makes this all the more surreal.

He said he would observe. I went in, and my dog was quiet. Not a single bark. My mother called him, expecting the case to be closed as he had been unable to witness any noise, and he told her he had witnessed noise that day. Unbelievable.

I called the police about the malicious complaint. They said it was a disagreement between me and the council and was out of their hands.

I got a cctv camera. One day while I was out at my two hour job, I was able to witness one visitor to our house. It was the council officer. He left a card on our doorstep. Later, he claimed this was because he was scared of our dog biting his fingers. We have a letter catcher. Also, our dog is a miniature whippet/staffy cross who stands about 30cms tall.

Later, he changed the date of the day he had "witnessed" noise to the day when he left the card.

He issued us with a Caution for breach of tenancy, using a date in November just after my dog's operation, when I was home, and the date he left the card. The dates were more than three months apart.

He said he could evict us from our home of thirty five years without the need to prove anything by monitoring equipment as he had witnessed our dog barking.

For the next nine months, I could not leave the house to go anywhere or do anything unless my mother booked time off work to be at home with our dog. Our neighbour controlled my life because he had been watching for me going out, and calling the council. I work early now, between 4am and 7am so that I can be back before my mother goes to work. I have trouble working around appointments. My mother has given up working permanently on Fridays to help.

We had mediation. My neighbour has now agreed to talk to us before complaining again to the council.

We have taken our dog to training school, got him a new companion in the latter half of this year in the shape of a greyhound (a girl with long legs and a big chest ), bought him toys, stimulated him with training, got him a barking collar that he never sets off. Purchased a dictation machine that we can use if we ever start leaving him alone again.

We complained to our council, and were brushed aside. We complained to the Ombudsman, and now that too has been brushed aside. As part of the complaint process to the Ombudsman, the council officer involved has admitted that the first date on the Caution he witnessed noise for two minutes. He also said that on the day he left the card he and a colleague knocked on our door first. I supplied the Ombudsman with our cctv of that day. It doesn't make any difference apparently.

Neither does it matter that my mother's testimony contradicts that of the council officer. His is the testimony that the Ombudsman pays attention to. Nor does it matter that we submitted several other letters in our defence from other neighbours saying that they did not hear our dog barking or find him a nuisance.

I just called my CPN. I didn't know what else to do. He said there must be some right of appeal or something, but it doesn't say that on the letter. I dreamed about this. I dreamed of it.

I'm sorry. I thought this would all come out differently. I thought that at some point, someone would have to see it. They'd have to see it. I'm just so lost. I'm in a kind of horrible prison made by my neighbour and I just can't get out of it. I can't abandon my dog. If I can abandon my dog, I can abandon everything else. It's out of the question.

I'm really, truly, honestly stuck here... and so incredibly stressed. I can't believe this can really happen.

[Charlie_J]

I really can't live at all like this.

I've got a GP late surgery appt tomorrow. My CPN is already seeing me Friday, but he's going to come to the house instead of me going to him. I don't think I'll be up to it, even thought my mother is home.

On 19th I have to see my Psych doc. He only works monday and tuesdays. My mother has no holiday left to take at work. How can I be there, and be with my dogs? The rest of my family is dead. I have no friends who can help.

[roads]

It is a nightmare. I don't know how things work there. Here I'd appeal to the media & hope they'd do a story on it. Bring it to the attention of a lot of people, have people picketing the housing big-shots who could straighten this out.

Any chance of something like this?

[Charlie_J]

I just don't know. I'm so thankful for my CPN. He might have some things we can do Friday. If I didn't have him to call on I'd be in a much worse position right now.

Talk about a rock and hard place. I hate this: it's like being tortured. I don't mean to come over all dramatic, but I'm sat here crying and it's nothing to do with me, or whatever I may or may not be. I can't escape.... I just can't escape.

Thank you so much, too, for being there with a quick reply RoadRunner.. it means a lot more than you know

[pachyderm]

Is there no higher authority than the council or ombudsman to whom you can take this? You need "evidence" obviously, not just your word of honor... Or a psychological examination of your neighbor and/or council officer to understand what bee is in their bonnets!

[Charlie_J]

AFAIK, the Ombudsman is the highest authority, appointed by the Queen. They're like the supreme court.

I feel a bit ill... I'm going to make a coffee and have a cigarette. Try and calm my nerves a little.

Oh, God... I don't care about me, but I can't see my mother homeless with no hope. I just can't. But it's getting more and more inevitable.

[Charlie_J]

My mother is due home from work in about half an hour, and I haven't even done the tea. How do I tell her? God, how do I do it?

[roads]

Charlie, we have laws in this country that protect people like us who suffer from mental illness & whose pets are really as important to our wellbeing as any med. These laws protect us (& our pets) in both public & private housing in many situations. Is there anyone you can ask about similar laws there? Maybe the RSPCA?

[Charlie_J]

I don't know, my CPN put a paragraph in my last letter to them... I think he said something about that. It hasn't made a difference.

I really need to calm down. I'm trembling. I can't afford to have some kind of breakdown. I can't end up in hospital. I MUST be here.

*takes a deep breath or ten*

[Charlie_J]

Ok... found it. We put in something about my mental health, and the way I had been kept in due to this, and that walking my dogs was important for my well-being.

My mother is back....

[roads]

Okay, I'm just thinking out loud here ... what I might do ...

Find out all you can. Take care of you. Use your gift ... Write a 1-page announcement of what's being done to you & get people to hand them out for you in important places. Your neighbors if any are sympathetic. Maybe RSPCA. Another animal rights group.

I keep going back to the media. If only we could get a sizable bunch of people angry about this. Low level bureaucrats don't give up power for nothing. If there's enough of a ruckus, the Ombudsman could come out the hero. Or someone who knows someone with contacts up to the Royal House could come through--show that England has a heart.

You see what I'm thinking?

But I'd try to learn more about your rights to your pets. Most people here don't know about that law so they lose their pets. Could be the same there.

Roadrunner

[Charlie_J]

I have told my mother... she has got upset too. We will have to see what CPN says, but I think you might have a good idea there, RoadRunner. Worth a try anyway.

I'm feeling really, really tired now. There doesn't seem to be any way to protect ourselves. What point is the dictation machine, really? Say if I use it to go to see my PDoc, and it proves my dog doesn't bark. They can just ignore it.

Feel very quiet now.

[roads]

Get some rest when you can.


Roadrunner

[Charlie_J]

Thank you, RoadRunner... we're going to try not to think about it.

Just thought I'd share something else, though. In all of the information we've seen, as far as the council are concerned, I don't exist. With regard to my mother, they say:

"Mrs xxx may be classed as a vulnerable person due to the suicide of her husband and son. As such she should be offered counselling so she can better understand how noise affects her neighbour."

It's just surreal... all of it.

[roads]

Gggrrrr.... I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT!

So how about giving the neighbor some counseling so he can better understand how harassing his neighbor affects her?

And what the heck do they mean calling your mom a "vulnerable person"? That she's had a sad life, so let's make it worse for her? What is wrong with these people???!

[krisakira]

About going to see your pdoc.... When I first moved into my apartment, my dogs had not been trained to not bark at home alone. So we had neighbors complain about them barking "day and night" even though they never bark at night (rolls eyes) but, for a while, before i could make sure they did not bark while i was away (recording them to make sure), I had to take them everywhere with me. You can take your dog with you to your appointment, and let him/her sit out in the car. Preferably in the back of the parking lot, so that not many people notice, and crack the window open. I do not believe leaving a dog in a car for an hour is abusive, except when it is exceptionally hot or freezing. So, if that is the only way, then you can do that. It is much better than not even seeing your pdoc.

edit: wait, i think i read somewhere that you don't drive. if thats the case, then forgive me

[beauflow]

First:

Then
Wtf-
Shcoked
and omg how i would be

That is ridiculous- I agree with roadrunner if there are any laws to provide that the pets are therapeutic go that route-- it is common knowledge with the psychology world that pets are therapeutic for people in many different states of minds.

In fact the dogs could be therapeutic for your mother in some stand point.

How ridiculous -- that is a nasty neighbor,

If i read correctly you do have evidence with what you recorded no?

this is an outrage- I am sorry that you are having to go through this- i feel so bad for you-- my dog barks, I wont lie, he barks, he cant be alone, he goes every where with me or my boyfriend- but then again we have the luxury of a car for him to sit in the back seat.

this is horrible...

you should let your dog leave a present for your neighbor in a flaming bag Just kidding of course-

I am so sorry again you have to go through this.

[Charlie_J]

Thank you everyone for the support. I really appreciate it. I think we're going to watch some mindless TV and try and forget about it for a bit.

Then... I don't know.

[Charlie_J]

TV over... think I will go to bed. I don't know when I'll get up. Very tired now.

:/

[Charlie_J]

I am awake again. Forgive me, but I'm going to keep posting in this thread so that it'll be clearer to me if my mood/thoughts turn dark.

Feel all right. Took extra antidepressant, though that isn't going to make a difference to today. Should I tell my doctor that later?

Trying not to think about it in specific terms, but I can't help it being there in general in my head.

Smoking a lot more than usual.

[beauflow]

Charlie Do what you need to do- Keep posting it does help some times....

I wish you well, I do wish you to get some rest as well.

[roads]

Originally Posted by Charlie_J

Took extra antidepressant, though that isn't going to make a difference to today. Should I tell my doctor that later?
....
Smoking a lot more than usual.

I always report when I change dose. Just seems like a good habit, but that's me. Smoking affects ADs, but of course I don't remember how. Great, huh?

I haven't had any new ideas. I tried to track down English laws re: pets for mentally ill/damaged/challenged/handicapped but our databases didn't include anything specific enough. Sorry.

[Charlie_J]

Thank you

I think I'll make some toast and watch the news - see if anyone is going to save the Euro. Then I might go back to bed. There is no limit to the length of time I can sleep as long as I make my appointment later.

My mother has gone to work: she is worried about me as I am about her.

...

And instead I just sat staring into space for a couple of minutes. I can hear him moving around next door. I wonder if he knows, if he's laughing. I've got a file on the computer for everyday full of his banging and hammering.

He watches. I know that he watches. But does he listen? Did he hear me call my CPN yesterday? I just can't bear to think that he is enjoying my misery. Makes it worse.

Perhaps he's got some kind of way of spying on my internet, and he's watching every word I write.

I know these are crazy thoughts, but I can't help having them. With everything that's happened, I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out the crazy things are true. Besides, I think you naturally have a tendency to try and anticipate what's going to happen next, and we're already in crazy, surreal territory right now.

At least these thoughts are not the horrible ones. I'm still all right. Think I'll go and make that toast.

[Charlie_J]

Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep

I always report when I change dose. Just seems like a good habit, but that's me. Smoking affects ADs, but of course I don't remember how. Great, huh?

I haven't had any new ideas. I tried to track down English laws re: pets for mentally ill/damaged/challenged/handicapped but our databases didn't include anything specific enough. Sorry.

Thanks, RR. I think it's a good idea to let him know what I'm doing, even if he says it's too much and to stop it. He might have an idea of something else to do instead.

I'm going to ask my CPN about the pet therapy thing, and see what he knows, because he's likely to have come across something like it before. Perhaps I could get him classified as a therapy dog. IDK.

Think I just spent rather longer than two minutes staring into space, looking at the length of time it took me to write the last post. Posting is helping me notice things already.

I am being careful.

[Charlie_J]

Right... I am going back to bed, before the hopelessness really sets in properly.

Thanks and hugs to all!