[crimsonhaze]

I've been having trouble with this lately, to the point wherein I find myself clutching my head waiting for the pain(not physical) to subside. I don't know why I'm not telling my mom, I guess I'm in a way trying to help myself. Or maybe I feel that she just won't understand me. I've tried all if not most of the psychological/mental tests here and well, my results are most of the time negative. By this I simply mean that my scores are usually high and I don't mean that in a good way. Are any of these tests accurate or are they any indication that I might have to go to a professional?

It's a stupid question really, I know that I should go, but I don't know at the same time. Yes I do confuse myself on a regular basis. My head clutching moments, I call them or refer to them as an episode. I do tend to cut, not for the sheer enjoyment of it, though I have to admit sometimes it's fun but painful. I do this so I can distract myself from doing something worse.. Does that make sense? I feel horribly guilty after I've done it, but I can't help it. I'm obsessed with thoughts of accidents that would eventually lead to my death.

I guess I'm frustrated that I told a few close people of some things that are happening with me, but I don't know. It's not enough. It helps ease the pain sometimes but not completely. Talking about it feels good, but it doesn't make these feelings go away.

[Callmebj]

crimson, I hope you will tell your mom about this. Personally, I blow off the tests here as not being so professional that I would be terribly worried about the outcome. Some of the questions are hard to answer as there are times, I would like to answer "none of the above". Years ago, as a psyhology student (only a few classes in that realm) I took the MMPI...one of the girls freaked out because she had high marks in paranoia. So did I have high marks in that area...but never concerned me except knowing I needed to watch it and learn from it.

I'm sorry you are cutting yourself. Are you able financially to see a therapist? I would have to say from what you have said here, it would be helpful. Many areas do have free help through community services or DHS so it does not always mean an expense to the family.
hugs, thanks for being so brave and talking about how you feel. bj

[venusss]

yeah, I think somebody did test with these tests some time ago. 50% of people picked of street come up as having something.

I find this test much more comprehensive and not so slanted towards the negative

http://www.queendom.com/tests/access...idRegTest=3039

and as for when to seek help... I think you have to think of it as guidance... if you need that, then it's worth looking up the options. But in the end you have to help yourself. It can be done.

Hi crimsonhaze,

Im sorry your struggling atm. I would definately seek help if your finding your life is being increasingly taken over by overwhelming emotions and 'episodes' as you call them. You might not need referring to a psych but a general practioner could give you medication or refer you for regular counselling - all worth looking into in my opinion. Keep posting on here, we're all ears and are happy to provide any adivce you need. I hope you find your stay here useful. Good luck.

[crimsonhaze]

It's okay, it comes and goes.. It's just disturbing wherein I get into that state where it feels sooooo bad I cry uncontrollably. My head hurts but it's not in physical pain. More on the thoughts and the emotions are extremely excruciating. But this happens sometimes, not all the time though. I just never know when it will hit. When I feel down and I think I'm about to lose it, I cancel on everyone and just stay home no matter what plans I have for that day...

[jaxter23]

Crimsonhaze, I know the feeling of not knowing what to do. I debated for months whether to tell my mom that I wanted to go to therapy and I debated even longer if I should go or if it was worth it. Honestly, I think you can do all the "tests" you want to on here and you won't really get the answers you need until you go to therapy. I was not a believer in therapy until about two months ago! I thought it wouldn't help or would just cause more problems when I told my family I wanted to go, but it was one of the best decisions I made! I am doing a lot better now than two months ago and I really think therapy would help you too!

I was the person that would self-injur and feel so guilty after, but I couldn't stop because the physical pain was more bearable than the stuff going on in my head. That kinda sounds like what you are going through and honestly, having someone like a therapist to talk to helps a lot with all of that! They can help find ways to cope and eventually maybe stop or at least reduce the thoughts in your head. Its really scary telling your parents you want to go, but for now you can just explain you would like to go and not explain why exactly if that is more comfortable! I would highly suggest going though! Good luck with everything and lots of hugs!!!!