Am I just a mean person?

I was just at my bf's house and his grandfather came by, bf's mom came home from work too and said 'Hi how are you, you remember grandpa? and he also said, 'Hi how are you?', and I said, 'Yes, I'm good how are you? ' They were just smiling standing there, I was just smiling standing there, while my bf was putting on his shoes in the corner. His grandfather said 'O the quiet one!' and my BF's father said 'there only quiet one here!' and his sister laughing (then his whole family started LOLing at me)

In my head, I was thinking 'Yes I know, the man who can walk miles even though he's reaallly old.' I want to tell his sister to stop acting like a rich /smart girl and talking about her $300 bag and going to the islands this summer because I saw her financial-aid letter (on the table) and I heard she didn't pass her recent entrance exam.

I would never say the above things, but I would like to say some things like: "Yeah I know you, I heard you can walk miles and youre fit for your age". I want to be mildly sarcastic all the time, but some people don't take sarcasm well, that's why I'm sooo quiet, I shut my thoughts up. all of it. I'm afraid they'll think I'm mean or I don't want to get in the way or look stupid.

I'm a very sensitive person I'm putting my thoughts up here and it was hard, I would never say this to anyone in person, so don't judge. how would you encourage me to become an outgoing/outward person, the general saying 'be yourself and don't care about what other say' Any informational advice from anyone who understands and are not judgemental?

I kind of only want to be sarcastic and open to those who opened themselves up to me (either by saying something personal or sarcastic to me), otherwise I'll be talking about general things like weather, news, How was Your Day, etc.

(((Jan1212)))

It doesn't sound as though they were real talkative with your either. What they found so humorous is beyond me! Personally, I find your response to be completely appropriate. (Note: I'm not the talkative type myself) Yes, you could have said , "I'm doing pretty well thank you. How are you? Are you feeling well?.." That would probably make you seem more interested and friendly. But, they could have easily cut down your Q's with simple one-word answers. Like, "Fine." Then it would have been more awkwardly quiet!

Whatever! We take our social cues from each other. If people don't seem real interested in me or whatever I'm saying, I close up like a clam. If they are friendly and open, I slowly open up. I do open much more slowly than others, as a self-defense technique. Sometimes, my technique works against me ~ preventing myself from having a lot more relationships. But, that's a cut I'm willing to take to protect myself from being pushed away.

I do understand that you're feeling hurt and alienated. I've felt the same way myself many times. I also know how bad it is to turn all negative thoughts inward and blame myself for everything....not good! Try to use your logical mind to forgive yourself for the situations like above. Your bf or someone else could have spoke, but they didn't. You don't deserve the blame.

I'm not judging, but you expressed the need and want to be sarcastic a few times. How come you want to be sarcastic with people? I'm just curious. I am really quiet too, when people then point out how quiet I am it makes me more uncomfortable and I'll talk even less. People don't understand that, it really puts you on the spot.

I just try to find things to ask about, stuff they have mentioned or have an interest in. To show an interest, hopefully they will show an interest back. Some people don't.

I know when I was growing up, I was very quiet. I would think of what I wanted to say, but it was always too late by the time I figured out what it was I wanted to say or I didn't want to interrupt those who were already talking.

It wasn't until I was 54 that I was able to sit in a book club or a Bible study & actually offer my thoughts & realize that they were just as valuable as everyone's elses comments. For some reason, my brain started thinking quicker also.....it felt good to be part of a conversation rather than sitting there listening to it.

I do have a comment on sarcasm.....I DON"T LIKE IT!!!!. When I first got married, my husband thought sarcasm was humor, but all he was doing was putting me down & calling it humor. I was in college & getting better grades than he was even though he bragged about his high IQ. I finally told him that if he didn't stop the sarcasm because he wasn't being funny & he was the only one laughing at himself....I would be glad to leave him. It actually had become habit.....& I had to comment every time he pulled his sarcasm comments because he didn't even realize that was what he was doing. No one including myself liked his sarcasm....as I said, it's just a way of putting people down in what the person thinks is humor. It's definitely NOT a nice to use in conversation, & it would definitely be best to keep your sarcasm to yourself.....(my personal opinion) I don't get my feelings hurt.....so that wasn't what was happening.....I just didn't like having a person putting me down when he was the one that had issues that he was putting others down about.

I wanta take this opportunity to say I strongly disagree with eskielover, and do like and appreciate sarcasm.

Look, as long as you're suppressing part of yourself you'll never be really happy.
Just try saying what you're thinking, If people don't like it that's their problem, and you shouldn't worry about it.