Inability to connect to others?

No matter how much I talk with someone or am around someone, it feels like there is some sort of invisible wall between us. It feels like I am far away and only vaguely aware. I can’t make friends. I can’t feel what I want to feel for another person. I just have a disconnect with everyone I interact with; whether they be in real life or on the internet. I feel bad because I want to feel something for someone else but I can’t. I want those glorious friendships that everyone else seems to make so easily, but I can't enjoy other people.
Does anyone else have this problem? Is there a reason this happens? I tried to explain this to my therapist, but she just doesn't understand.

Maybe you have schizoid personality traits?

Yes Maxima, I too am disconnected from others. It is very difficult for me to make friends and keep them. I have had friends in the past but now they all live far away from where I live. Others don't seem to understand when you prefer to be alone. I have family members that live close by but I have no desire to visit with others. I wish I had an answer for you but I don't. I have tried to talk to my psychiatrist and therapist but they just tell me I have to force myself to be with others. If you find an answer I would love to know why I am the way I am.

I rarely connect to anyone. Actually when people connect, a lot of it is based on projection. I know many will scream and say no, but that is how I witnessed it. Like I have a friend who says she easily connects to people. She says we have connected and she feels a deep connection with me. Thing is, she often runs me over, because she doesn't even know who I am. What I am. She has projected an image of me and then connected to it. I've seen other do similar things.

If it's not that, it is that people generalize a lot. Like we both like a and b so we must like c, d, e, f, g too and if we don't it doesn't matter because we feel like we do and belong together.

I'm not like that. When I make real friends, first of all I'm super picky. That is why I have so few real friends. Then they have to grow on me for several years. To feel connected I need to be used to them. Like if they were some furniture I had since forever (bad analogy I know).

I don't miss this magic connection others seem to have. I'm happy to connect in my own manner, even if it disqualifies most people from being my friends. Also I am connected to living things. It's just that they are four legged. I can see if a cat or a horse is afraid of me, curious of me, likes me, wants a cuddle, is happy, is angry etc etc. Once I was on vacation to a place where there is barely no animals at all. Finally I found a sled dog tied up outside a house. I went to sit with her a while several days and I felt a need in me was fulfilled.

If I didn't have the connection with the animals, maybe I would indeed feel like I needed to find out how to connect with people.

Good luck on your adventure of life.

We are of the same cognitive style, so I can relate.

Therapy has helped me understand why I cannot "enjoy" others. Perspective taking, my high alexithymic traits and problems with back and forth conversation explain it for me. Perhaps those are three topics you can discuss with your therapist.

I understand and agree with what you posted. And the connections with living things is something that I experience.

What I'm hearing is that you feel you don't connect as well with people as others do. It sounds like you said you worry about this a lot. I can certainly understand that.

I think, however, you might try relaxing and being in the moment when you're with people. I think some of that anxiety I hear you're feeling in social situations might be a barrier to open communication. Rather, I think you should concentrate on being genuine in your relationships instead of worrying about others will accept you.

It's worth a shot. I accept you. You seem like a nice person to me.

I'm reading this and wondering how I've never met anyone that felt like me when you all clearly can relate. If any of you have any tips on how to live in the moment and just enjoy being in a relationship rather than being alone I'm all ears. I need to work on changing myself!!!! @ CJ...I often wonder why I am the way I am...especially when I'm not happy with it.

I find this to be the case with the majority of the people I interact with, but there are definitely a few people I have become very close to.
I Therefore know I have it's ability - I maybe just have stricter "criteria" when it comes to connecting with others and don't give of myself easily.