Death...not Suicide...Death

Hello all. Ever since I can remember I have thought a lot about death. It's not suicidal thoughts. I just contemplate what happens when you die, what kinds of afterlife there are (if any exist), who would come to my funeral if I died and ways to die.

I have never seriously contemplated suicide but I have thought of ways to do it a lot. When I get bored I just let my mind wander to the different ways there are to kill yourself and if I was to kill myself which way I would do it.

I also think a lot about who would come to my funeral. I have moved about 3 times in my life and have come into contact with many people who know me and claim they care for me. I just would want to know if my friends I had whilst living in California would come to my funeral if it was in Pennsylvania and vice versa. I want to know exactly who cares just enough to actually come and wish my soul off to the afterlife.

I am fascinated by death and how a person can be so lively one minute and just as easily dead in the next. I also think a lot about the tranquility of death and how right after you die all of the responsibilities you hold have instantaneously disappeared because you have ceased to be. These thoughts keep me up at night and I can't turn them off which lead into dreams of me dying different ways and watching my funeral. It's actually terrifying sometimes at night because those dreams are ridiculously real, due to my extremely vivid imagination.

I just can't get these thoughts out of my head and I do not feel like they are normal anymore. They happen regardless of if I'm happy or sad and they come on completely suddenly and I get distracted by them or make me stop what I'm doing no matter what it is (even if I really enjoy it). It's strange; I know these thoughts of death can be a sign of depression but I always thought you had to have something tragic happen to you or actually be sad in order to be depressed. I'm just confused by all of this.

Am I alone with having these thoughts or do you all get them too?
Is depression even a possibility in my case?

Maybe you're just a natural existentialist. There's that ol' existentialist joke that goes, "If you aren't aware of death every moment, then you aren't alive."

Hahah that actually made me smile and not feel so weird

Could it also be a distraction from living life and making plans?
They also say that no-one gets out of this alive....
But its probably not to unusual to think about who might turn up or not.
You could always have a funeral party - invite people and see who turns up?

Humans are the only species, the claim goes, aware of the fact they are going to die one day.

So maybe thinking of it is just symptom of condition called "being human".

Also, not all cultures have the "zomg, death is horrible, don't talk about it, don't think about it, pretend it's not there" attitude. I read many philosophical ponderings about today's funerals, and how they are impersonal and fast and preferably hidden from sight (not many funeral processions anymore)... and none of them saw it as "good".

I'd be vary of person who honestly never thinks of death.

I'm glad that made you smile.

Although I there's the whole existentialist side of looking at things that Venus took the liberty of expanding on a bit, it might maybe be a bit of obsessive thinking mixed with natural fascination with death? It certainly doesn't sound like depression though...do you feel depressed?

I guess it comes down to how much this impacts your life negatively. You said you enjoy it, and if you're not suicidal, I don't think it's that big a deal. I had something similar in my teens (although mixed with being extremely suicidal and just a lot of issues), and as I grew up it lessened a bit but it's still there.

This could also be a time for you to expand your spirituality if you're interested, and read up a bit on different religious and cultural views of it.

Good luck!

[QUOTE=ThatGirl47;2807330]Hello all. Ever since I can remember I have thought a lot about death. It's not suicidal thoughts. I just contemplate what happens when you die, what kinds of afterlife there are (if any exist), who would come to my funeral if I died and ways to die.

I have never seriously contemplated suicide but I have thought of ways to do it a lot. When I get bored I just let my mind wander to the different ways there are to kill yourself and if I was to kill myself which way I would do it.

I also think a lot about who would come to my funeral. I have moved about 3 times in my life and have come into contact with many people who know me and claim they care for me. I just would want to know if my friends I had whilst living in California would come to my funeral if it was in Pennsylvania and vice versa. I want to know exactly who cares just enough to actually come and wish my soul off to the afterlife.

I am fascinated by death and how a person can be so lively one minute and just as easily dead in the next. I also think a lot about the tranquility of death and how right after you die all of the responsibilities you hold have instantaneously disappeared because you have ceased to be. These thoughts keep me up at night and I can't turn them off which lead into dreams of me dying different ways and watching my funeral. It's actually terrifying sometimes at night because those dreams are ridiculously real, due to my extremely vivid imagination.

I just can't get these thoughts out of my head and I do not feel like they are normal anymore. They happen regardless of if I'm happy or sad and they come on completely suddenly and I get distracted by them or make me stop what I'm doing no matter what it is (even if I really enjoy it). It's strange; I know these thoughts of death can be a sign of depression but I always thought you had to have something tragic happen to you or actually be sad in order to be depressed. I'm just confused by all of this.

Am I alone with having these thoughts or do you all get them too?
Is depression even a possibility in my case?[/QUOT


Hi there...I dont think your out of the norm. A lot of people do think about death. I think that too much thinking on it...or planning it is something that should not be ignored though. Its a sure sign that some people are looking for that peace because life is pretty hectic. Sometimes they go the step further and actually plan it out. I would talk to some one that you can trust in your life. Maybe even your doc.just to see if your in the danger area. I wish you well and hope that you get the answers you are looking for. take care and God Bless!

Hi,
You are wise to seek counsel about anxiety issues & it is also heartening that you have kept it in check.
Well these existential thoughts do generate worry & sometimes also a sense of doom.To me these look like obsessive thoughts,but i am not qualified to say so.Only a psychiatrist can do that.But you are aware that they are affecting you negatively & have come out to seek help-which is a good sign.
I would like to refer you to this post,you may find it helps.
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2012/11...-thinking.html

Actually, if you go with problem to psychiatrist.... they will most likely slap some label on you... because it's thought, you go there, because you see it as problem.

When you say "I don't like people" to bartender, they may agree that people suck. Shrink will not go all philosophical with you. Same with "I think of death". You discuss it with priest... you get one answer, spiritual one. Shrink? They will most likely provide you an answer that is diagnostic. Friends may be freaked out or engage in the death talk.

as the "negative thinking" link... only in some cultures death is consider OMG-negative. IN some, it's perfectly normal.

I am not saying dwell on it, but... I don't think that pathologizing will help. For me the thought that I am not forever is actually quite liberating. And it leads me to trying "for real" and trying to make something of the life. Trying to make a mark maybe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_mori

It is not unusual to think about death. Most people don't do it enough. It really puts things in perspective. On the other hand, it does tend to be uncomfortable especially when it gets to take on a life of its own and you can't stop anymore. This isn't a bad thing. It also sounds like you have representations of a lot of people running around in your head (family and friends, teachers, the usual collection). My guess is that they have given you a lot of your beliefs and values and they have gone in unexamined. What you are doing with imagining the funerals and so on is processing this material. It helps to write it out on paper, where you can look at it and see it objectively. Not for anyone to read, unless you really want to share it with a T or someone like that. It is better if you just keep starting over instead of re-reading what you have already written. It gets clearer as you go through different versions. You have it set up already. They are talking in the context of being at your funeral. That works really well. You can write it down and keep starting over with different variations until you process it through. It will stop feeling as stuck this way because you will have it on paper where you can look at it from an outside perspective. It is really about life and experiencing it more deeply.

It's a really bad habit you have reinforced over the years, I'd say, if it were me, to keep from thinking about fears/problems you have with living. I lived in my head/fantasies mostly for 20-30 years and it took a lot of good therapy to learn to let go of the need and to get to "normal". If what you are doing is not serving your needs, you need to change it. I'd see if a therapist could help you shift your focus and/or get working on whatever scares you about living that you avoid it with thoughts about death?

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
― Paulo Coelho

Comes down to whether it's a problem. If not, then it's personal differences.

Ha, that sounds like an accurate description of me. I always do that when I get bored or space off during class. Also right before I go to bed. Every. Single. Day.

Sometimes I get sick of it, or the images seem to go bland because of how many times I've conjured them up, but I usually get back into it pretty quickly. Personally, I don't think it's a sign of depression, because I don't feel the least bit depressed when I'm thinking about death. It's the opposite, actually. I entertain myself by thinking about death.

Venus what you say makes a lot of sense.We all avoid going to a shrink because of the labeling & also because of the side effects of the drugs.
It is not the subject matter of these thoughts which is worrying,but the fact that a person is not able to control the thoughts.If this is because of some anomaly in the brain chemistry then drugs can help.But if one wants to avoid them then a vigorous physical routine can also help--i mean one can try it out.Exercise does help to expend the nervous energy & leaves you calm.
Do you think it makes sense?

do we really avoid going to shrinks? Sadly, we go to shrinks with matters with which we should go to friends or priests or shamans.

It's not just matter the drugs have side effects, it's that Prozac for spiritual/existential crisis is as useful as vodka or weed.
As much as excercise is good, you cannot excercise yourself out of matters of spiritual and existential realm.

As I said before, it's only recently when death has become such tabboo to talk or think. I do think that OP's problem is not "brain chemistry" or whatnot.

Personally I am very depressed, and have attempted suicide, last time was back in '06. But have become firmly convinced that it would ruin the lives of my daughters, and my religion tells me I would go to hell. However, I find myself longing for a "solution" that would be being able to contact a fatal disease that would kill me sooner rather than later.

That way I wouldn't be the one responsible, I would be able to say my goodbyes, and although my family would miss me horribly, it would be "mom died of a horrible disease" rather than not wanting to admit the awful stigma of suicide.