[Denv12]

Several years before I became ill I was on a city metro bus when a guy on the bus,sitting on his own,started acting weird.Something he did I had never seen anyone do before under the circumstances.He seemed to be talking to me at first but it turned out he was miming his own thoughts at that moment.

The reason why I remember this was that about 2 years after being on my own daily I started doing that mimimg thing too.Thats when I remembered the guy on the bus.

Then there's the next part of loneliness,its where you blurt out the occasional word or words while you are miming your thoughts.Its really embarrasing.Neighbours walk past my apartment,knowing I live on my own,they see and hear me saying something.(I was in the kitchen washing the dishes at the time.)

Since October 18 whilst my visiting carer(my mum) had been in hospital after heart surgery I've been able to get people to help me everyday.My symptoms of loneliness havent eased off.

If you see people on their own doing this miming thing you know they are lonely and have been lonely for a period of time.

Since I've been in forums,yahoo groups and facebook,etc I have tried to find new friends to spend time with.So far,I havent found anyone who lives in my city to meet up with.I'm not giving up.

If you are lonely try to be around other people.Just something to think about.

Chris.

[roads]

If you enjoy reading, maybe consider joining a book club. I think you are brave to go out and try to connect. Three cheers for you, Chris.
Roadie

[avlady]

alot of famous artists and even actors did or do that kind of stuff, it's probably is from having no one to talk to them

[MudCrab]

Hello, Chris. Have you thought about volunteering?

http://www.ehow.com/how_4839851_remove-loneliness.html

I know what you mean...I haven't said anything in public yet, but I even make up people that I have conversations with in my head. It's difficult not to speak out loud to them. I also refer to myself as "we" and talk back to characters in video games. I don't know if it's exactly the same thing, but I know I talk to "imaginary friends" because I'm so lonely and have no one to talk to most of the time and I almost always feel like I need to talk to someone, something.

[yellowted]

i often blurt whole sentences out in public, usually i am procesing an earlier event where i didn't say what i really wanted to and it is the words i really wanted to say that i blurt out, luckily nowadays so many people have hands free phones here that no one takes any notice of me as they just think i am talking to someone on the phone!!
i live alone and when i was unable to get out for 18 months I saw only one person every 4-6 weeks, they picked up my shopping list went and got it, brought it back and left. i went through every stage of loneliness,
cleaned every cupboard in the house, talking to myself, talking to my gerbils, talking to the tv, going back and forth between the kitchen and living room for hours, completely covering 6 sheets of plain A4 paper in scribble until i had blunted every pencil i owned, phoning the talking clock just to hear a different voice, and eventually not talking at all for days because there was no one to hear me anyway, depression set in and then the final stage where I felt there was no point being alive, and then the last straw .....
luckily the last straw was unsuccessful, now i see people 5 days per week on average, but hate the days i see no one as being alone now scares me cos all the feelings I felt in those 18 months flood back extremely quickly,and it scares me that i could easily slip back into the depression or last straw stage in a few days.

[Denv12]

Thak you to each of you for replying to this topic.

I would get involved outside my home but I am agoraphobic,I have ocd and chronic fatigue.The Chronic fatigue is the reason I'm home in the first place.I just dont have the physical energy to go anywhere.I sat at the piano,I can play 2 songs straight through then I'm puffed out.Thats why its called chronic fatigue.Now you know why that part of my loneliness can't be dealt with.

If this problem affects me it affects many others.I dont mind getting on forums and groups but sometimes that connection with someone in person can make all the difference.I've cut back on the amount of time I spend online.

I hope we can keep this topic going.

If you want to contact me through this forum please do.

Chris.

[possum220]

Symptoms of loneliness : an undefinable pain in the chest that wont go away.

If it makes you feel any better Den I do live in the same country as you. Near Melbourne.

Have you had your B12 levels tested? Sometimes if the level of B12 is too low then it can mimic Chronic Fatigue. I get really tired too.

I live on my own but try and get outside even if its just to get groceries. I have also pushed myself to go to craft groups. They don't go for too long. When I find I have had enough its okay if I leave.

Sometimes I feel like loneliness is an emotional cancer.

You might be lonely Den but you aren't alone.

[Denv12]

Originally Posted by possum220

Symptoms of loneliness : an undefinable pain in the chest that wont go away.

If it makes you feel any better Den I do live in the same country as you. Near Melbourne.

Have you had your B12 levels tested? Sometimes if the level of B12 is too low then it can mimic Chronic Fatigue. I get really tired too.

I live on my own but try and get outside even if its just to get groceries. I have also pushed myself to go to craft groups. They don't go for too long. When I find I have had enough its okay if I leave.

Sometimes I feel like loneliness is an emotional cancer.

You might be lonely Den but you aren't alone.

Hi Possum220.I live in Adelaide.We arent that far away compared to the rest of the world.

Its the chronic fatigue levels that prevent me from going anywhere.I've had cfs since 2000.I just dont have the energy.When I first got struck with cfs I could barely walk 40 feet out to my car in the carport.I can walk around the units here.I play piano,I get through 2 songs straight then I got to suit down coz I'm gertting puffed out.Because of the lack of energy it stopped me getting out and about.Herte I am many years later.

I am alone.I dont have companions who can visit,just carers who call in with my shopping and thats it.I need social contact,friend visits.I spend less time on the internet now.I'm in a lot of forums and I still havent found anyone local to chat with over the phone or who can call in.The computer didnt solve my loneliness.

I've had that emotional cancer thought.I guess I wasnt sure saying would be a good idea.

Are you in other forums? I joined a lot,for anxiety disorders and cfs.
Thanks.

[newtus]

i do this. unfortunately. enough for me to get noticed and i am occasionally laughed at. after i found out i did this i thought it was common for people with my dx. but then i found it wasnt. which made me feel even worse.

thats all ill say.
im too embarrassed.

[Denv12]

Thanks for the hugs.I hope we can get all of who are alone to post to this topic>i think its helping people feel better.We really need to all find people nearby to each odf us.Then we would have understanding friends for offline chat and support.

Its just something to think about.

Chris.

[Denv12]

Originally Posted by newtus

i do this. unfortunately. enough for me to get noticed and i am occasionally laughed at. after i found out i did this i thought it was common for people with my dx. but then i found it wasnt. which made me feel even worse.

thats all ill say.
im too embarrassed.

I can relate to the emabarrasment.At least in these forums we can share our feelings knowing that we all understand.Its a good place to let it out here.

Chris.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Denv12

I can relate to the emabarrasment.At least in these forums we can share our feelings knowing that we all understand.Its a good place to let it out here.

Chris.

im like a walking freakshow.
like i went into goodwill and this man looked at me with huge eyes and looked around him and then and started laughing and then said "how are you mam?" and i just said fine. then i realized its cause i was talking to myself. but..its like i cant help it.

[Denv12]

Originally Posted by newtus

im like a walking freakshow.
like i went into goodwill and this man looked at me with huge eyes and looked around him and then and started laughing and then said "how are you mam?" and i just said fine. then i realized its cause i was talking to myself. but..its like i cant help it.

We do it because we are alone and this is the symptom of it.If you are at home try to do anything for the sake of getting into the habit of talking.Ring customer service of any business.Make some enquiries,talk on the phone,just anything that will relieve you of this alone thing.

I've been trying to join a lot of forums and yahoo groups hoping to find people who live in my city,I''m from Adelaide,Australia.By looking for email/pen pals and so on I hope I'll find new friends.Even posted on other forums looking for other Australians.It didnt do any good.Those other aussies saw my post and didnt reply.

I've joined pen pal sites,I got on facebook looking for old friends.I joined an australian school reunioon forum.Posted in there looking for not only old school friends but old girlfriends.Nothing.

I'm open to suggestions of where I can find people who are understanding to anxiety disorders and might also looking for a friend too.

If you have an luck finding people please share your ideas here on this topic.

Thanks.

Chris.

I can understand the whole anxiety thing. I can still manage to function in real life fairly well although it can still be torture sometimes...

But I wouldn't mind having pen pals...

So if anyone on this thread wants/needs pen pals, I'd me more than willing.

Even if I find people (even online), I eventually drive them away. Hopefully that won't happen again.

[possum220]

I had this pain in my chest for a least a decade Den and I had no idea what it was. I dont know how I could not know what it was but one day I realised what it was. It didnt make the pain go away. It is an emotional cancer that eats you away from the inside. Loneliness is horrid. I so wish there was a cure. For all of us.

I wonder if you could contact some agency/council/doctor and be linked into a service that could send some-one out to talk to you on a regular basis? Are you linked into a CFS support system?

As for me I check into a couple of forums depending on the day and how i am. I think it is lovely that you can play the piano, but I am sorry it wears you out. What kind of songs do you play? If its okay can I send you a friendship request?

[whoswho]

I do this too! Maybe it is loneliness. The WORST thing, though, is when you think of something really funny and just start spontaneously laughing out loud. I do this a lot...

The thing is that people say that "talking to yourself" is a symptom of being "crazy." But I cannot imagine how quiet and boring some people's minds must be if they never "talk" (since language plays such an extensive part in thinking) to themselves!

[Denv12]

Firstly.thank you rto all of you for your replies here.Its great to get people replying to this post.

Talking to ourselves is the lonelines.We have to break free from it by being in contact with others.Make new friends or talk on the phone often.

I'm in various anxiety support forums and yahoo groups plus i'm in cfs forums too.I have a small note book with all the forums I'm in as well as having the links to those websites in a computer folder so I can click on them and go straight to them.

As for playing piano,I play mostly my own songs that I've written.I play my iown songs better than playing songs from a song book.

I've tried agencies.Thats how I got a local charity to cal in every week to help out with various things.Its a few minutes twice a week.I have donated some unwanted items cleaned out from my home.Thats some items the ocd stopped me removing.

Regards Chris.

[NoCake]

Originally Posted by whoswho

I do this too! Maybe it is loneliness. The WORST thing, though, is when you think of something really funny and just start spontaneously laughing out loud. I do this a lot...

The thing is that people say that "talking to yourself" is a symptom of being "crazy." But I cannot imagine how quiet and boring some people's minds must be if they never "talk" (since language plays such an extensive part in thinking) to themselves!

I do that when I think of something funny a lot. I don't think it's a bad thing.

[Denv12]

Originally Posted by NoCake

I do that when I think of something funny a lot. I don't think it's a bad thing.

Its okay but I hope we can encourage people to break the habit.Its not a good lifestyle to be lonely.

[possum220]

The reality is that lots of people talk to themselves not just because they are lonely. Its just a habit. Sorry, don't have much to say today.

Is good that people are saying what has been their experience.

[Denv12]

Originally Posted by possum220

The reality is that lots of people talk to themselves not just because they are lonely. Its just a habit. Sorry, don't have much to say today.

Is good that people are saying what has been their experience.

Its great we are getting people to reply.Its helping.I'll focus on the lonely thats where I can help.

[Rose76]

Thank you, Chris, for talking about this. I have been alone a lot, since no longer working. I start to talk to myself out loud at times. It is out of loneliness.

I, too, remember noticing other people doing this, people who were obviously very lonely. I felt very bad for them. They were people who were living lives that involved being alone for way too much of the time. I manage to not talk to myself in public. But, at home, I am falling into talking to imaginary people. I mean, I don't actually imagine a make-believe person, but I am talking as though someone were listening and interested.

I have a significant other whom I visit and spend time with. But he is getting aged and inward-turning. He stares at the TV and seems to not want conversation. This leaves me very alone. I've tried talking with him about this, but that has been to no avail. He seems to almost prefer being alone most of the time.

I'm not sure I know exactly what "miming" means, but I think I may. I'm guessing it involves gesturing and facial expression. I agree that it is a sign of loneliness and, specifically, loneliness that has gone on too long. I think that is a very astute observation that you have made.

It is easy to recommend getting involved in something outside the home, but that may miss the core problem. I think people get real lonely, often, because there are psychological impediments to them doing just that. Those problems can be awfully difficult to get past. I wish that were better understood.

I'm starting to keep the TV on more than I really want. Then I am afraid to turn it off because the aloneness can seem huge when I do. It is painful.

[Denv12]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Thank you, Chris, for talking about this. I have been alone a lot, since no longer working. I start to talk to myself out loud at times. It is out of loneliness.

I, too, remember noticing other people doing this, people who were obviously very lonely. I felt very bad for them. They were people who were living lives that involved being alone for way too much of the time. I manage to not talk to myself in public. But, at home, I am falling into talking to imaginary people. I mean, I don't actually imagine a make-believe person, but I am talking as though someone were listening and interested.

I have a significant other whom I visit and spend time with. But he is getting aged and inward-turning. He stares at the TV and seems to not want conversation. This leaves me very alone. I've tried talking with him about this, but that has been to no avail. He seems to almost prefer being alone most of the time.

I'm not sure I know exactly what "miming" means, but I think I may. I'm guessing it involves gesturing and facial expression. I agree that it is a sign of loneliness and, specifically, loneliness that has gone on too long. I think that is a very astute observation that you have made.

It is easy to recommend getting involved in something outside the home, but that may miss the core problem. I think people get real lonely, often, because there are psychological impediments to them doing just that. Those problems can be awfully difficult to get past. I wish that were better understood.

I'm starting to keep the TV on more than I really want. Then I am afraid to turn it off because the aloneness can seem huge when I do. It is painful.

Hi Rose+.

I had a good feeling this topic might bring people out to share their experiences.Its going really well.

We know what loneliness feels like and we can talk about it here.If we can encourage others to share we can make them feel better.

The miming thing is loneliness.Its where you actually mime or act out your thoughts as if you were having that conversation with someone.I saw a guy on a bus doing it years ago.I've been doing it for years.

Chris.

[newtus]

i have a little story to tell.

today when i went to a coffee shop i had many people staring at me that came in and out. one lady watched me for a long time. i realize it was because i was talking out loud and someone here said "miming". yea.

i had originally never thought of it as loneliness. though it makes sense. i havent left my house but maybe 2x a week for 4 years now. sometimes less. rarely more. unless i have to like for doctors.

when i first realized it i would try and stifle my talking but i could not since it is partially unconcious - you know. and then partially maybe because i hear voices inside sometimes that make comments or say funny things or want to say a
conversation and i respond.

i dont try to stop it anymore. i just let it happen. after so long i had a realization that the stress of trying to "normalize" was well... stressful. i actually quit trying to stifle that and most of my behavior. i am me and i need to accept myself more. but im still pretty embarrasssed about my dx of schizophrenia.