[SeptemberMorn]

It seems to me that change has been very difficult for some of us to deal with and our emotions are running away with us. IMO, it's time to step back and do what we can to recenter, refocus. I hope that the rest of this post HELPS and does not cause more upset and arguments. I'm going to plead with you that if you find that this upsets you, please just move on and don't post negatively. We need to get back to what this site is about and that is SUPPORT. PC is known for its supportive, caring and understanding members. Let's do what we can to get back to that, PLEASE!

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

<center> * * * * * * </center>

A refresher course in Cognitive Modification, usually called CBT.

1. All or Nothing (Black or White): This involves seeing things as though there were only two possible categories.

2. Over generalizing: A negative event is seen as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

3. Mental Filter: Seeing only the negative aspects of a situation while screening out the positive aspects.

4. Jumping to Conclusions: Predicting things will go a certain way before you have the facts.

A. Mind Reading: Assuming that you know exactly what someone is or will be thinking about you.

B. Fortune-telling: Predicting that things will turn out badly and that you won't be able to cope.

5. Magnifying or Minimizing: Overvaluing or minimizing the importance of a situation or certain information.

6. Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that how you feel is an accurate reflection of how things are.

7. Shoulds: You tell yourself that things "should" or "shouldn't" be a certain way. We do this with ourselves, other people, and situations. Variations of this can include "musts," "have to's" and other imperatives which sound like they come from some external authority figure.

8. Labeling: This is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking which can be damaging to our self-esteem and our relationships. Instead of simply acknowledging a mistake, we say "I'm just a screw-up" (substitute "loser," "jerk," "idiot," etc.) Applying labels to others (e.g., "that SOB") will tend to blind us to other qualities which could benefit us in the relationship.

9. Personalizing: (Blaming) This thinking mistake creates enormous preventable suffering. This occurs when we hold ourselves responsible for something which isn't or wasn't entirely under our control. Or in some extreme cases, blaming ourselves for anything and everything that goes wrong.

PLEASE! Let's restore the peace!

[Lexicon78]

I thought I was the only one who felt this exact way!

You will get nothing from me but support and positivity, Septy!

[mrb020377]

"pop up is blocking smiles" but good posting sept, is what i wanted to say

[SeptemberMorn]

Hey, Babe! All I put in my post was a heart. Don't need any more triggers. We have enough, already!

Love you, Hon! You rock!

You mark my word, though, Sweets. People will gravitate to the triggers, the arguments and whatever causes upheaval. I've had it!

If you're up to it, I'll see you in chat, even if we have to form our own chat. (smiles and winks)

[Sabrina]

I run a far way when I see those triggers .. maybe I am weak ... but I can't deal with it so I don't go there.

But honestly? - I don't feel worthy here right now. I just don't feel at peace with all of this.

Don't think I should say anymore right now I am already posting this against my better judgement.

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sabrina}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[bebop]

I agree September!

[Rhapsody]

I agree..... NOW may we all abide by these words (from this day forward) - both with in the forum and behind the walls of seeing eyes in PM.
Everyone deserves ACCEPTANCE.... and the right to voice ones opinion or thoughts with out another taking it personally.... TOGETHER we CONQUER!!

LoVe,
Rhapsody - (((( ))))

[hillbunnyb]

and, this is a good place to learn the skills to accomplish integrating the above awarenesses.

like a sign at my friend's house says, "NO DOGS-*-NO DRAMA"
(She rescues donkeys, they don't do well with dogs.)

best behavior or back out. It has been so good for me to learn to hit the button and leave topics I'm not "in the mood" for, if you know what i mean.... P O W E R in my own finger.

[Peanut61]

Thank you, ((Tomi)) for posting these!

They also go perfectly with Ruiz's 'Four Agreements', i.e. 1) Be impeccable with your word; 2) Don't take things personally; 3) Don't assume; and 4) Do your best, (whatever your 'best' might be on a given day).



XOXO,
Jillers []

[nothemama8]

Our motto where I'm from is" Empowerment Through Support"
without support you can't find real empowerment, good post Tomi
Angie

[SeptemberMorn]

I'm not surprised that not too many people are paying attention to this thread. Oh well... I tried.

[radio_flyer]

((((((((((september))))))))))))

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{Radio}}}}}}}}}}} I'm just peekin' in... Still freaked out here...

[(JD)]

<font color="blue"> I'm sorry (((sept)) I thought you had made a very good statement that stood on it's own.

[Danialla]

Septembermorn.......I think that the Andrea Yates thread is an example of the adult behavior and consequently supportive enviorment that you would like to see...........

We are all capable of supportive behavior to each other.......we just need to practice a bit!

[Peanut61]

I think working with these tools is very important in the effort to engage in constructive communication, so I, too, hope that this thread keeps going, ((Tomi)).

If fewer people took things personally, for example, conflict would be reduced without there being a need to be forced to avoid it through board rules, etc..

I have worked really, really hard on boundaries, etc., which you actually suggested I should do, ((Tomi)) , and I continue to be very grateful, bc it has made life soooo much easier for me, (mental/emotional wear & tear-wise)!

XO,

Jillers

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{Jillers}}}}}}}}}}}} Does this mean you're sticking around?? I sure hope so!

[Lexicon78]

(((((Septy)))))

You're the best!

[Fuzzybear]

Good post (((((( Peanut )))))))

[Peanut61]

(((Tomi))):

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
{{{{{{{{Jillers}}}}}}}}}}}} Does this mean you're sticking around??

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I always come around for the SEPTEMBER 12 HOLIDAY , so I have to warm up ya know!

XOXO,

Jillers

[Peanut61]

T/Y ((((((Sweet, sweet FUZZY))))))!!

Your namesake is still just as cute and sweet as can be, btw!

XOXO and then some,

Jilly

[SeptemberMorn]

I thought I had, too, but when hardly anyone takes note, does it still stand on it's own?

[SeptemberMorn]

Danialla, the problem with that thread is that if I made any comments someone would come down on me for it. I have very strong feelings about what she did.

I don't want to argue any more. I can't handle it right now.