why do I want to get pregnant so badly?

I have always wanted to become a mom, when I was about 15 I just really was hit by that wanting to become a mother bit I knew that it was not a very good idea to have a baby at 15. I'm 19 now, soon to be 20, and for the past 2 months I have been overwhelmed with the need for a baby. I have not told my boyfriend about it, I know that he wants to be a daddy but I don't think he would want one yet, he talks all the time about what he wants to do with his kids when he has them and he loves playing with kids and baby's that friends and family has. But I can't get past the need for becoming a mother, no matter how much I tell myself that I am not financially ready, and how it would be better to wait for a baby, I just can't kick that need for a baby. I have no idea what I should do, what do you think?

Do you have a job? Do you want to further your education? Are you even married yet?

"Want" a baby is different than ready to take on care of a little person that will depend on you for likely the next eighteen years or more.

I'm asking how to control the constant wanting to become a mother, I know it's not smart to have a baby yet, I said that. That's why I posts this in the first place

Do you have or want a pet? I know its not the same as a child but pets can provide emotional closeness.

Find other things to do with your life. Distract yourself with work, hobbies, friends - other avenues to give your life meaning. Get a puppy and train it and love it.
You have YEARS to have a child.

This might sounds extreme but...have you ever watch video about giving birth?or if its possible watch the real one ..when i was on you age all i wanted is to be a mother , have kids so when i am old my kids and i wont have much age difference, but somewhere along my 21th it stopped and now iam 28 yo and i dont think iam ready to have baby
or is there any orphanage for a baby near to your place ? can you volunteer yourself there?

Oooook - Here I go

To answer your question "I have no idea what I should do, what do you think?" I'll tell you what to do - ignore the urges until you're ready! Seriously, just tell yourself that it will happen one day, when you're more stable. You are SO young, and you should REALLY experience life while you have no major commitments or attachments (ex - Children!) Often times people get this idea in their head about what motherhood will be like, some of it might be true but you REALLY don't realize all the hard work and tough times that come along with being a parent. Never mind the financial strain (which is HUGE btw...) the emotional struggle is tough as well. Are you ready to stop worrying so much about yourself? (How you feel, what you want to do for the day...spending money on clothes, hair, etc?) Do you value sleep? (seriously lol I'm not kidding) Did you want to go to college? Get Married? How bout travel or get a hobby? If the answer is yes to any of those questions, you should REALLY consider waiting until you're a little older and have had time to experience more of your life. I'm 26, I have a baby. I'm Married and we're not "broke" , it is STILL one of the hardest things, and biggest struggles I've had in my life. Please don't get me wrong, it's wonderful as well - there is no feeling in the world that compares to seeing your child smile, or laugh or meet milestones....but those are just some of the parts of Motherhood...
You say that your boyfriend talks about all the things he "wants to do with a child" I'm not sure he is (or you are) aware of the things you'll have to do for the child. I could go on forever and a day.

Bottom line...just because you have the "urge" doesn't mean you have to adhere to it. Give yourself some time to enjoy your young life, and take things slow...there is absolutely no need to rush into having kids. If this isn't enough, feel free to PM me anytime, I'll fill you in on more of the "dirty details" of motherhood

And if you'd like to hear about childbirth...Ohhh. Feel free to ask about that as well. My epidural failed and my tail bone broke....not trying to scare you (ok, well maybe a little lol) just trying to help you see the reality of the whole thing, rather than just the "rainbow's and butterflies" part

I'd add more - but my infant is seriously screaming his head off right now.

Good idea on the video! I almost wish I had a video of my childbirth experience to share. Horrific.

Maybe some of it is the boyfriend talking, and knowing he likes kids too---
I don't think it would be bad to talk to your boyfriend about it, just as you did here, sharing might even defuse the strength of the urge a bit---you can join the talk of "someday" children---and you will know when you are ready-----really ready. I think you are smart, thoughtful and strong; it is not easy to reason when we feel so strongly about something. It's a struggle and you are engaged in it---that is a good thing.

when i was 15, i had this same want. i did a lot of journaling about it, and i realized that it was because i wanted to give my child the childhood that i didn't have. it was sort of my last ditch attempt to get around what i was working on in therapy... if i can't fix my own childhood then why not start over with someone else. you know? that sounds crazy... but once i realized that, i realized that i didn't really want a baby. i just wanted to redo my own childhood because it was less than ideal. which obviously cant happen. this was a big realization and gave me a spring board to go off of in therapy

Ever considered a teaching career? Perhaps you can specialize in preschool if that age range is more attractive to you. I know so many people learning education and they get involved with classrooms and children very early during their education courses.

Otherwise, any volunteer work or babysitting should help satisfy you as well!!

Since the urge is strong, on the one hand, and the realization that you should not do that is strong, also (the rational part of your OP is strong), I would make sure you use really effective contraception so that you have no chance to give in to the urge on an impulse. The Pill plus condoms would be best, given that you probably cannot have an IUD since you have not had children. There is some evidence, though, that an IUD is safe even for you - you need to read up on that.

http://nwhn.org/not-your-mother’s-iu...ks-modern-iuds and you need to read more.

In other words, you should solve the practical problem of making sure you cannot have a baby now, and once you have solved this immediate practical problem, you can spend however much time you have on answering the "why" part of the thread's title.

If I were you I would wait, your are still very young, a teenager, even if you are very mature... You have more that 20 years to become a mother... do not rush, think it through.

I have a hamster. He is like my baby because without me he wouldn't have food or drink or love, or a place to live. its like a small scale being a mum. I also have nephews. Could you help out at a nursery or just volunteer at a crèche somewhere?

Why wouold they not let you have an IUD if you haven't had kids? That's nonsense. Of course, I thought it was nonsense that they wouldn't sterilize me until 15 years after I first asked them. Lot's of pain and anguish because the doctors think they know better than we do.

I have lost the tape with my home birth video during one of the many moves from apartment to apartment, and wish I had been more careful keeping it.

Birth videos are some of the most empowering and moving videos to watch. A very profound and one of a kind experience.

They would not deter somebody from becoming pregnant.

Hey Jess,

I've been the same!! I'm the same age as you and have been broody for as long as I can remember.

Like you, I know its not the right time but I stilll struggle with the fact I want to be pregnant, have a kid etc so badly. The thing that puts me off is imagining the baby growing up. I want a baby, but I'm not ready to have a teenager! Its a life long committment having a kid, not as instant as I think I want it to be. I want a baby, a toddler, not my own child though really, deep down.

Its up to you what you do, its your life. Just make sure if you do have a kid, its gonna have the best damn life you can give it. If you dont think you can do that yet, then maybe waiting is a good idea.

I think that you should put your mind at ease, in the sense that this is a common urge at this point of a woman's life. I think that it's perfectly natural to want that and nothing wrong with it but by the same token, take heed of the advice here regarding protecting yourself from an "accidental" or impulse driven pregnancy. I'm sure you're already doing this but while you're vulnerable be extra vigilant about being cautious not to get pregnant.

Other than that part, for the urges, I think don't feel down about it but maybe this will help. So you're sure you're not ready. Maybe your brain and heart need to be on the same level. Try like others have mentioned, volunteering at an orphanage, take care of others' babies if you can and be around them not just to visit but actually see, feel and get in touch with the reality of what it takes to have a child of your own. I know that sometimes we idealize the dreams we have, whatever the idea is, job, career, mate, and for you, child or children. Sometimes the vision we see is all candy canes and sunny days whereas the reality is, kids take a lot of work. Mind you they are every bit as rewarding to a person that is ready for parenthood but nevertheless they are work. Sometimes our brains forget about the consequences of our dreams and we only see the good. Perhaps being around a daycare, orphanage or even babysitting very small children will help your mind to see the whole picture. Even just hanging out with new mothers, you'll see the stress that goes along with babies in spite of how much their parents love them to death. Just find ways to help yourself to see more than the wonder that is pregnancy and motherhood but also the thorny parts of it.

Hope this helps.