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#1
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Preface: To say one is "poor" in the United States compared to poverty in other countries, is almost laughable. I recognize that and daily, I am thankful that I am not in some third world location living on a dirt floor and begging for rice in the street.
That said: I'm poor. Right now my adult son, age 26 and I are trying to live off of his SSDI check which is a whopping $710 per month. Our rent is $460, so do the math. We haven't paid our bills in months and only just recently avoided our electric being shut off. Surely the gas is next and I think God is personally keeping my Internet connection on because He knows without it, I'd be even worse, mentally. I was working part-time, but an as yet unDx health issue caused me to quit, and then there is the Borderline or whatever is wrong with my head that apparently makes me F-up everything I start. I have applied for my own SSA disability as of late June, and well, you know how the waiting game goes. I'm sitting here at 2pm, I haven't had anything to eat yet today because this late in the month we're completely out of food stamps. The amount we get breaks down to $34 per person, per week - and that's if you really budget and shop at the you-sack-you-save kinds of stores. That's hard to maintain when a)You've been without food for the two weeks prior to getting your monthly amount and when it comes you feel like it's Christmas. b)Both recipients are grossly overweight emotional eaters. I realize that's not the government's fault (or is it?) but regardless, those factors make it hard to say, "No, I can't buy the $5 almond butter to 'treat' myself." (which I did anyhow) and let's get started on what you can buy, what you do get when you go to food pantries: Carbs and more carbs. Why? They're cheap. They are also bad for Diabetics like me. But what can I do? I can't stand in line asking for handouts and say "Excuse me, do you have any high-protein, gluten-free yadda yadda" The saying is, beggars can't be choosers. Today I will go down to the church by my house that serves free meals. Sometimes it's well balanced, but most often it's some sort of sandwich with a minimal teaspoon or so of meat on the bun, a handful of chips, and kool-aid. Don't get me wrong, it's food in your belly and it's free...Please don't think I'm being ungrateful - I'm not. The volunteers across the board have my tearful thanks, but I'm just so tired of being down - of being in "that" demographic. We never have gas to go anywhere, not even to a damn park or the library or get out of this stinking city and visit family or friends. Our day is pretty much get up, sit around, eat if there is food, go to bed, rinse and repeat. Our car is in need of repairs - brakes, namely. I don't even want to drive it if I had gas because of that fact. The last thing I need is an accident because guess what? I have no insurance on the vehicle, because well, that costs money. We have 2 cats and were it not for the pet food assistance programs, we wouldn't even be able to feed them. We're suffering along with them a flea infestation. I wonder if there's a food pantry for flea treatments. My son has his own mental health issues. He was Dx long ago with Schisoaffective disorder however you spell it, but I don't know what his problem is other than well, poverty. He is verbally abusive toward me and to be fair, I am to him as well. Stress, you know? He is morbidly obese, has severe inattention to his personal hygiene and basically behaves like a twelve year old in the body of a grown man. Living with him out of necessity is my biggest stressor. I have even thought of abandoning everything and going to a shelter but hey, I've been down that road twice.... and it ain't pretty. Anyhow, that's my rant. I needed to get it out, not that it will make any difference, but I guess it's good to think that somewhere, people are listening.
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"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." ~ Carl Jung ![]() My Lilah Her "Glamor-Shot" Still beautiful at age 9 |
![]() @nonymous, Anonymous327401, Anonymous33150, Anonymous43209, Arethusa, beauflow, bronzeowl, carrie_ann, Citrine, Colorsoftherainbow, dandylin, dillpickle1983, gayleggg, gismo, hannabee, HealingNSuffering, Lamia_13, LavenderFruitNinja, Nammu, online user, redbandit, Sabrina, Sanada, shortandcute, thunderbear, tigerlily84, Travelinglady, Victoria'smom
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#2
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Sorry you are having such a rough time of things. Hope your SSDI comes through OK and gives you some relief from your situation.
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![]() transientsoul
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#3
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It sounds rough. And it also looks like there's an area you can do something about:
>Both recipients are grossly overweight emotional eaters. I realize that's not the government's fault (or is it?) but regardless, those factors make it hard to say, "No, I can't buy the $5 almond butter to 'treat' myself." (which I did anyhow) Treat yourself to learning how to cook beans from scratch. $5 will give quite a few filling meals with a bag of beans, a few onions and some spices. I wish I could pass on some extra veggies from my garden to help you out and cook up some beans with you. |
![]() HealingNSuffering, lynn P., Nammu, online user, thunderbear
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#4
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#5
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I agree about learning to cook from scratch. Even for those emotional eating moments. Sounds like $272 month for 2. Ever tried $248 month for 4? That's $14/week per.
Just saying, there's a way to stretch the budget and don't make that first of the month an OMG moment in the market. ![]() |
#6
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But I hate beans. Like, bean soup is okay and I made a great bean soup, but green beans? -shiver- No. Other kinds of beans, I don't know but again remember, I would like to be eating low carb. The eating part of it isn't the worst. When I had a job, when I lived by myself, I did eat healthier - I am well aware how to do it... it's having money -for- food now that's the issue and being too depressed to care.
__________________
"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." ~ Carl Jung ![]() My Lilah Her "Glamor-Shot" Still beautiful at age 9 |
#7
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Hey Motown, As I said, I go to churches and pantries now. If it weren't for their generous assistance, we'd be even worse off. I am also waiting on an interim decision on some financial assistance through county aide dept. but like the SSA, that can take months. I'm going down there Monday and not leaving until I get some answers. It's like $115 a month,but with that at least we could pay our bills to some extent.
__________________
"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." ~ Carl Jung ![]() My Lilah Her "Glamor-Shot" Still beautiful at age 9 |
#8
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The beans are those like you find in baked beans. There are others, like chick peas, kidney beans and a lot of other similar beans. The good thing about these beans is that they all have a slightly different setup when it comes to vitamins and minerals. They really go a long way.
And you say you are not poor. I think that is something that is hammered into American people's heads, that USA has no real poverty. It does. You basically have nothing to live on. That is poverty. And I know many people from the States who have been homeless and they say it like it is normal to be homeless at least one part of your life. I think your people need to wake up and realize some of you guys don't even have your very basic needs satisfied.
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![]() dandylin
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![]() H3rmit, HealingNSuffering, Nammu
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#9
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I think what I and others also mean to indicate is that for the most part here in America, when people say they're poor - look what they have comparatively: I'm sitting in my own bedroom, with a bed and an air conditioner, a laptop computer, a NOOK reader (given to me) - I can go take a hot shower right now if I feel like it, I can go watch my cable television or chat with friends on the Internet which is readily available and if I don't want to do any of that, I can get in my car and drive wherever I want (provided I have gas). Poor people in America have it good - and I'm saying that as a poor American who is sick and tired of the stress and depression that accompany poverty and repression. As much as I know I'm poor, as much as I hate it, as much as I think out government should do something about it instead of spewing rhetoric and making it worse, I fall to my knees in gratitude with the knowledge that I could have it, and many do have it, much worse. Americans need to stand up, speak out, VOTE and demonstrate. Nothing is going to change in this country for victims of poverty, repression and the like unless those very people DO something about it. The problem is that many of the people in that demographic are un/undereducated, ill - physically and/or mentally, or have just been beat down generationally to the point that they no longer give a ____ about it past complaining about what they don't and "should" have in their lives. Me? I have a college degree, I vote, and well even that much doesn't seem to make a difference. You can only take so much before you start to think what's the point, why bother? They say "Money doesn't buy you happiness." And to that I say B.S. - It could certainly buy me peace of mind out of this impoverished life, and that? Yessir, that would make me happy.
__________________
"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." ~ Carl Jung ![]() My Lilah Her "Glamor-Shot" Still beautiful at age 9 |
![]() healingme4me
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![]() Gus1234U, redbandit
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#10
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Knowing poverty and emotional illness myself, my heart goes out to you.
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![]() Colorsoftherainbow, dandylin, thunderbear, transientsoul
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![]() Gus1234U, H3rmit, transientsoul
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#11
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I don't think money buys happiness for those who are secure and who have their needs met. If you have deep depression and win the lottery, it will feel like it didn't matter.
But for a person who live in fear of having electric shut off, wondering if he will ever buy new shoes, not being able to get healthy food, not being able to buy meds... etc... Then yea heck yea, money matters a lot!
__________________
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![]() dandylin
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![]() H3rmit, redbandit, thunderbear, transientsoul
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#12
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Beans and Legumes with the Most Protein Your situation sounds tough. I didn't mean to provide a bandaid solution but more of an in at attacking the problem - feeding you, saving money, increasing health. |
![]() dandylin, Gus1234U, transientsoul
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#13
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Transientsoul, is there a way for you guys to get public housing? Around where I live, they have income based housing.
__________________
In a season of suffering, we may question God's intentions. But sometimes His plans for deliverance are greater than our desire for relief -anonymous ![]() |
#14
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I wish there was something I could do for you. Its just not right for someone to live in the USA, and not be able to have the necessities. You need to have the necessities, shelter, food, medicine, a safe place for you, and a place for your son. I wish you the very best, and hope that things get better for you very soon.
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![]() H3rmit, healingme4me, thunderbear, transientsoul
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#15
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Know what I figured out to do? The cereals that are given through the pantries, have recipes on the back, for goodies!! Sweets, the emotional eating stuff. Having plenty of flour, sugar, eggs and milk can go a long, long way on a tight food budget. I get the beggars can't be choosers with the pantries. What I have done, I barely get the pantry stuff from Church, but it's been helpful when I have. Such as handsoap, when I was about out or TP. But I filter through then redonate back to the church. I am saying, that my food budget is tighter than yours...and it's POSSIBLE!! to survive!! Sounds, like you have the reduced rent, already ![]() |
![]() thunderbear, transientsoul
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#16
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You mentioned that the two of you live off of your son's SSDI check. Is there any way to see if you qualify? I didn't see if you receive it from any previous posts, but if I missed it my mistake. Hopefully you can qualify, and it will be able to increase your income a bit!
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#17
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I am in your boat transientsoul. It (poverty) I think, contributes to mental illness. I think it causes it too. My husband, son & I live off of $300 a month and FS benefits of around$350. We get our money from my husbands odd jobs when hes not sick. We dont have cable or a comp and my internet is on my cell phone which is due for turn off Wendsday. Our house is in very bad shape and has a mold problem. I dont really mind, I grew up dirt poor. As long as there is food & shelter & love, I dont feel poor. I just get sad when my son says he wants to go to the fair or something & I know theres no way we have the money. The saddest part is, he knows it, too.
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Dx: PTSD, Panic Disorder, Obsessive Personality Disorder. A Do Da Quantkeeah A-da-nv-do |
![]() Anonymous33150, H3rmit, HealingNSuffering, Nammu, online user, Sabrina
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![]() Gus1234U, transientsoul
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#18
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(((transientsoul))),
I hate hearing a story such as yours...it makes me incredibly sad because I truly DON'T think we realize the poverty issues in this country. And there are so many ads on tv asking us to donate to other (third-world) countries...hello?? And our issues HERE?? Who is taking care of those?? ![]() I really hope your disability comes through soon...I am waiting myself, but until then (and even afterwards) I luckily have my father's monetary support. It comes with more guilt than most people could imagine, but nonetheless I consider myself very lucky...I need to be able to make ends meet more than I need a "good father" (in all other senses of the word). Hugs to you and I really hope things get better...and soon. ![]() |
![]() thunderbear
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![]() Gus1234U, H3rmit, transientsoul
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#19
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I was in a similar situation before my claim was approved. Poverty is just as real in the US as elsewhere. I really do understand what you refer to, though, because I often consider how "poverty" is a relative term. There are many "non-necessities" in the lives of absolutely poor people who live in the US. Poverty is stressful and stigmatizing here, too.
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![]() thunderbear
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![]() transientsoul
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#20
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I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. I find it extremely discouraging and disconcerting that you have a college degree and still find yourself in this predicament. Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a darn good imitation. I wish you good luck and send you prayers.
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![]() Gus1234U, H3rmit
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#21
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Someone elsewhere in this thread asked if we qualify or could get low income housing. I am NOT living in the projects or in housing where "projects people" live if you get my meaning. I would eat a kettle of beans before I'd welcome that situation. No thank you. Speaking of beans, guess what I made today? Last night I got a beef round roast from the church. It was a little freezer burnt but I put it in my crock pot with soy sauce, water, paprika, onions, garlic powder etc. - cooked it overnight on low until it was falling apart. Then I made some white beans and served the brothy meat over them. Hey, it was good and definitely cheap, but it was far more meant for a January day with temps in the 20's than the 90's we had here today in Ohio.
__________________
"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." ~ Carl Jung ![]() My Lilah Her "Glamor-Shot" Still beautiful at age 9 |
![]() H3rmit, online user
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#22
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I know what you mean. I felt the same way when my sons were little, like just once in a while I wanted to totally be able to surprise them when they said they wanted to go somewhere by answering, "You know what? That sounds like so much fun... let's go!" (and of course, having the money to do so!) I hope that through political channels or some miracle, things change for the poor people in this country.
__________________
"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." ~ Carl Jung ![]() My Lilah Her "Glamor-Shot" Still beautiful at age 9 |
#23
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My father used to help me out until he developed a disease and is now in a nursing home. Hell, last time I saw him he gave me $50 for my birthday and I felt guilty for even taking it. What sucks is that I didn't use it to take myself out to a nice place for a meal or buy a new pair of badly needed shoes etc., no, I put some gas in the car then bought basics like TP, shampoo etc. all the stuff food stamps doesn't buy. I hope your SSI gets approved. I'll cross my fingers if you do the same for me, k?
__________________
"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." ~ Carl Jung ![]() My Lilah Her "Glamor-Shot" Still beautiful at age 9 |
![]() Anonymous33150, online user
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![]() Gus1234U
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#24
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A college degree does not stave off or eliminate mental illness, sadly. I got a bad reference from my internship place supervisor due to my BPD (which I didn't know I had then) and when, years later I actually got a job in my field, it was way micromanaged and omg, could.not.breathe. the scrutiny of the job plus the off and on and off and on meds I was taking at the time thanks to a pill happy MD caused me to impulsively one day say **** it and quit my job and walk out the door. After that, I was homeless within 6 months and my life has pretty much sucked since then. Thanks for the well wishes though ![]()
__________________
"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." ~ Carl Jung ![]() My Lilah Her "Glamor-Shot" Still beautiful at age 9 Last edited by Travelinglady; Aug 30, 2013 at 07:59 PM. Reason: completed language edit |
![]() online user
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#25
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I've lived on $30 a week for food in the most expensive city in the country (one of the most expensive in the world) and it is do-able you just need to make the right choices. Your life is all about your choices. Your choices are what got you where you are and your choices are what is going to help you improve your life. Looking after your own health will help your depression too. If I dont eat right and keep active then I fall in a hole. Its really important for the mentally ill to look after themselves. If your health is bad then how can you expect to be feeling good mentally? I hope you can get your life sorted out soon for your sake and your sons. |
![]() Anonymous33150, Nammu, online user
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![]() H3rmit
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