[The Fox & the Hound]

So, In real life. No one knows I am going through this. They do not know I am suicidal,have psychosis,that I am depressed, that I feel worthless & helpless, & more.

I just tell them I am, that I am fine, I always fake happy. When they ask if I am happy? I say yes, I am doing fine.

I just hide all my feelings from everyone.

[StarStrike]

I do this all of the time. In real life only a small group of friends and my boyfriend knows what I'm going through. When my family ask if I'm okay, I always tell them I'm fine. I just hate it when people worry about me.

[Egoist]

I do this too but I can say I am nearly at my limits. It is getting harder to lift so much weight. I know that if I tell them they might not believe me and even say I am saying that for attention.
"...And I don't think I will be able to live after that. No I am not going to end myself even though I think I might. I can move to some other corner of the country and live there. I am a freaking genius crippled by a disease, I can stand better than them..."
Well these are the thoughts in my mind. But I don't think I can ever tell... I don't think I can stand too when I am crawling like this...

Too much depression for today let's watch some talk-shows.

[The Fox & the Hound]

It is weird, I want to & I don't & I do want to get help. The way I want to get is help, is attempting suicide, so someone finds me, & I get help.

[lifelies]

I don't tell people either, I'm always OK.
Only one person irl knows that I cut and only a small group of 3 friends know that I've got "issues." Everyone knows about my trauma(s) tho... Sometimes I feel like they know more than me because some alter told them things that I don't know.
But no-one irl knows that I've got DID. I find it difficult to tell online people, I'm not ever going to tell someone irl lol. But I wish I could.
Tom

[happiedasiy]

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

It is weird, I want to & I don't & I do want to get help. The way I want to get is help, is attempting suicide, so someone finds me, & I get help.

Dear The Fox & the Hound,

I love your name, it took me back to a time of adolescence, when the movie came out on tv, made me smile!

You know if more people were honest, they would admit times/thoughts of what you mentioned, even myself but it came from irrational thinking.

Your feelings, thoughts, and emotions are coming from your circumstances.
YOU are not your circumstances.

Wanting to get help is a good thought but not by the means you described.

How to get help.... ask for it, there are many people here who can advise you about getting professional help.
And here other members you can relate with and share true experiences.

You don't have to tell everyone how you feel but you can simply say, "I'm working on things" to your friends or family.

And thats a start! Be honest with yourself and the people helping you.

I hope this helps,
Happiedasiy

[Heather11]

I hide it all from most everyone. I have one family member that knows and just a couple friends that I've even mentioned " depression" to, in a very general way..
Sometimes certain people will ask how I am doing and I feel like I'm going to cry. I just say I'm fine when they know I'm not. They just don't know the whole story.

[Catmom3]

I think if people can afford to and can find a therapist they can work with well, great.

If they can't afford to or if therapists are totally stupid ("Well did you WANT to be raped?" or "Here's how you end your life") then one can seek out things on their own. I've done a lot of self-healing through books because I refused to let BAD therapists ruin my life. Oh, and there was the one who gave me a list of 7 major things I HAD to change overnight to be mentally healthy... and his first item was I had to hate my parents which I refused to do. Hatred never heals anything, just causes new problems.... having seen those three, I walked...

and I do a lot of research and create my own list of self-help tools. I've learned my emotional cycles... and how long I am likely to be REALLY down when I am. When I come back up, I an never laughingly happy, just content. Don't know if this helps or not, but it's my way of dealing with it all.

[happybunbun]

I lie when people require me to and or there would be consequences that I don't want, if I tell the truth. There are the people who don't understand the concept and think that there is an extremely simplistic idea that I don't understand and if they just explain it to me I will stop being depressed. If I agree with them then they will keep bothering me unless I tell them whatever it is that they want to hear. If I disagree, the same things happens. So, I lie.

[A Red Panda]

I think that a lot of people aren't open about feelings of depression. Society in general has the attitude of "If you think positive, you'll be happy" which completely invalidates anyone dealing with depression - it's like we are being told that we should be able to just get over it. So a lot of people then keep these feelings to ourselves so that we don't appear to just be complainers. No one wants to feel like they're being judged, especially when it would just add to the depression that we're already feeling.

It's also a lot easier to pretend than to explain to people we care about that we're feeling that depressed and miserable.

I tend to not fully answer questions. If someone asks me "how are you" I tend to respond by letting them know about my health, or my sleep, or my energy. "I'm pretty busy! It's nuts that XYZ". It's a true statement, just doesn't explain my emotions at all. Or "I slept last night! Was really excited that I slept a solid 8 hours!" or "I've got NO energy today! I'd rather still be in bed!".

[Webgoji]

I have to myself as well so you're not alone. In my case I'm the top of the emotional pyramid and people depend on me to be their emotional barometer. If I let on how I really feel, I'll pull everyone down with me. There's no soft spot to land when I crash.

[The Fox & the Hound]

Glad to here i am not the only.

I am just not up to telling people I contemplate suicide, or that I am depressed, & other things. I do not want them to judge me, I dont want them to bring them down, & I dont want the worrying about me.

I am at the end of the rope. I just cant keep keeping all these emotions inside. I cant handle another bad thing right now, I feel that if something bad was going to happen it would push me over the edge.

My cousin was the same way for a long time, & he just hit his breaking point, & attempt suicide... I feel like that will be soon.

[A Red Panda]

Why not try confiding in your cousin? It might help him to have someone to confide in as well. He's probably feeling very alone and judged too.

[The Fox & the Hound]

I would but I barely know him, he lives in another state,I don't know there number.

[A Red Panda]

Ask around - someone in your family would have it! (or his email, or facebook if you have it). He's family, and recently attempted suicide. I would hope that your family would understand if you showed a desire to be supportive of him.

[IndieVisible]

There was a time I was all alone and suicidal. I tried killing myself with a gas stove. I sat there with the gas on thinking about a lot of things past and present. Then as if an out of body experience I saw myself at the gas stove trying to kill myself. I did not want to be found that way. I stopped. I went to the ED and checked myself in. They totally understood and was very helpful. If it gets that bad for you remember, you can always go to Emergency dept at any hospital. They will not turn you away even if you do not have insurance.

[AngstyLady]

I think a lot of people do that. A friendly customer actually brought that up today when I was at work. After we exchanged pleasantries and we both said we were doing good, she mage a jest about how 'we probably wouldn't say otherwise if we were.' I sorta joked back, that yeah, that's probably true, but that I actually was in a really good mood.

[RRex]

I never lie to people about how I feel. Once I tell them the truth they generally don't ask me again, which is the objective.

[FreakWorld]

I admit that I do this as well. I have never told anyone (other than this site and Samaritans) how I REALLY feel. I do some lessons differently to others at my school to try and help me with my emotions. I had a sneak peek at what I was going to do next lesson and it was how often I have certain emotions. I looked down the list and saw the usual "happy" "scared" "angry" and right at the bottom of the list "depressed". I am unsure at how to respond to that. Should I just tell the truth? or just say something like "sometimes" or "very rarely". None has ever asked me that before. What to do? Anyone got any tips/ideas on what to do in this situation?

[The Fox & the Hound]

I wish I could tell someone but I can't. I do not know why I can't but I just...can't.

I don't share my feelings ever, cause I am scared to even tell me I am happy, telling someone I contemplating suicide,is just... I just cant tell someone that i dont why though

[Trontine]

Usually it's meant as a rhetorical question, or at least that's my impression, so I give myself the right to sugar coat it without considering it lying.