[charlajustin]

So woke up this morning all 3 kids including myself are sick. Call the Dr. make an appt. Husband lays back down like everything is ok. An hour and a half before the appt. for us. He finally gets up, helps me get the kids ready. Then decides he is gonna get a shower 30 mins. before the appt. So finally at 10 mins. till the appt. I go upstairs to tell him he needs to get out of the shower, we have 10 mins. He finally comes down at 5mins. till appt. Finishes getting ready. We get to Dr.'s and we are 20mins. late for the appt. That is fine they see us and prescribe some meds for all of us.

I reallize he has to be at work but, we have 30 mins till he has to leave. Says he doesn't have time will call his sister to pick up the meds for us. Well of couse she doesn't answer her phone, she never does. He leaves for work without so much as a kiss my butt to any of us. I got so mad I went into the kitchen and went off, kicked one of the cabinets about 3 times, calmed down a little and logged on here. ( kids were upstairs changing clothes at this time )

I kept thinking he was gonna come back and the idiot I am keeps looking out the window thinking I am gonna see him pull up with our medicine. I finally got two of them asleep and the other is too sick to her stomach and coughing too much to want to sleep. I have just enough kids motrin left to give them some tonight to help them get to sleep. He won't be home till after midnight.

Am I wrong for being thoroughly and completely upset at him for this???? I arrange my entire schedule around him and wait him hand and foot when he is ill.

P.S. I told him yesterday we were almost out of toilet tissue. I reminded again this morning and again this afternoon we needed some. Guess what, he left for work there is no toilet tissue and all 4 of us have upset stomach. So yes, I am more than a little upset atm. But, in that same regard, why do I feel guilty for being upset and in the back of my mind I am already making excuses for him.

[wisewoman]

I wonder why us women are so good at feeling guilty for having valid feelings? I don'tknow your situation but I think I would have called the doc and had scripts called in,explaining sit and get stuff delivered, get a friend, or a taxi. What he did was selfish,to say the least. You don't need to hurt yourself more with guilt. Take care and feel better.

[TYMBERWOLV]

Do you drive a vehicle yourself ??? Because If you do why can't you take the kids on time to the appt and pick up meds and TP Paper

[biplol]

((((charla))))) I'm sorry hon, have you guys sit down and talk about this? He really needs to know about it.

Tymber, the thing is when you have sick kids it's not easy to go anywhere with them that's why husbands exists, lol, seriuosly, and she has twins and a 3rd one, too much for just her to take care.

[charlajustin]

We have one vehicle which he used to get to work. I have about .43 cents in change that wouldn't pay for a taxi, and his family is always busy with their own lives.

The prescriptions were called in just waiting for someone to pick them up. I have no friends here where we live. I have yet to have any time in the past 4 years to go out for anything other than grocery shopping / house hold needs shopping. I do not have any help with my children other than my husband who only helps when he feels like it. Am i miserable and do i hate my life???? YES, I DO. I just finished releasing more anger and broke the crappy coffee table that his mother gave me, that I didn't want to begin with. Did I mention that one of the few times she watched my kids for me so that I could buy stuff for the house that when I got back she completely rearranged my entire house, furniture, fixtures, nicknacks, dishes, table, chairs to the way she liked it. I of course had ot eat more crap and tell her I liked it. When I was staring at an exact replica of her home. My husband just said it looked nice and went on his merry way.

Oh but, I am so freaking happy, I could puke.

[radio_flyer]

I do not think you are wrong for being upset.. I'd be upset too...I'd be furious... In fact, I do think I'd "burn" his dinner a few nights... or better yet, be too sick to cook... doubt that will work.. Maybe extra starch his underware or put itching power in his shorts.. You might get a small smile watching him be a tad uncomfortable..

My x husband wasn't the "fathering" type. Although he did enjoy making kids... And as for me, if I needed anything, well that was just too bad. Oh well... Kids, husbands, family.. Is there really such a thing as a happy family where partners care for each others well being and both participate in raising the kids... shrugs shoulders

My heart goes out to you.. I pray things get better for you...

[sabby]

How aweful to be in the position of having to depend on someone who just can't seem to get it!!! You have every right to be upset and angry.

Maybe in the future you could find a pharmacy that delivers?? That way you are not at his mercy and your meds are there for you and the kids.

I do hope you all feel better real soon. Big HUGS!!

[Wants2Fly]

Hello Charlajustin --

You are having a rotten time of it, and this is a good place to get validation for your understandable feelings.

I pray that I am not bringing up something that ought not to be said, because I really don't know anything about you, your husband, your life, beyond what you have written here. Sometimes we write something in a flash of anger that is not a realistic picture, but it is all I have to go on.

It sounds like you are emotionally abused by this man. We often think that abuse is only the woman and children who are thrown up against walls. From point of view -- limited as it is based only on the facts of this post -- you are

-- trapped in a house with 43 cents and no way out

-- with 3 sick children to take care of, so you can hardly just walk away on your 2 feet

-- with no toilet paper.

If we left prisoners in a jail without toilet paper, the human rights people would have fits.

I hope you will get in touch with a crisis hotline and find out what resources are available for you to deal with this situation.

I have a great deal of trouble confronting unpleasant situations with spouses and bfs, so I cannot suggest how to proceed. Someone has suggested that you must talk to the darling husband, and perhaps others who are brighter about this sort of thing will have some concrete suggestions about how to proceed.

I know we are to use I language that takes responsibility for our feelings rather than accusing --

"I feel trapped when you leave me at home with three sick kids, no medications or toilet papers, and 45 cents" -- but I'm always at a loss when the other person goes off after I say something that the books tell me is the right way to do it.

My heart goes out to you.

[Perna]

Can you do something nice for him like call his work and leave a message with his boss to get the meds and bring them home?

I'd still go next door to a neighbor, if one's home, and beg them for help, get the money from him tonight to pay them back and make sure from now on I always had a bit of money in the house. Do you have a check at least? I'd call the pharmacy and see if they know of anyway you can get the meds, explain the problem; a clerk or the pharmacist there might help out and deliver them?

[charlajustin]

well, i finally got ahold of his sister and she picked up the meds. for the kids.

[biplol]

(((((Charla))))))

[radio_flyer]

I hope your sister picked up meds for you too...If not, I'd sure make a few folks very miserable after I got better....It just is not right for a mother and/or kids to be overlooked esp when they are sick. Maybe also start putting a few dollars in the cookie jar for emergencies...

((((((( charla ))))))))))

[charlajustin]

well, I have to run a bunch of errands today and plan on picking up some medicine for myself. i just wanna crawl into bed and go to sleep. cya all later

[Boopers]

Hi Charlajustin,

NO, you are not wrong for being mad. Your husband should have helped you as much as possible and also gotten the tp and meds. We are suppose to be able to count on our spouses when we are in need and you were definitely in need.
I do hope your children and you recover quickly from your illnesses.
Try to hang in there,
Linda

[charlajustin]

well got me some medicine so feeling a little better, Kids have all finally stopped running fever and seem to be feeling better as well.

Now the other day the doctor did some blood work while I was there, just the usual, checking blood count, liver panel, etc....I signed papers allowing them to leave results from any tests on my voicemail. So I get home a little after 4. and there is a message from the dr. office asking me to call back they needed to speak to me?!>?!?!?!> and of course their office closes at 4pm so I can't call back till Monday. Don't you just hate when that happens. makes you worry all weekend ( like I will probably ) only to find out that its probably nothing.