[kimthecatlover]

Yesterday I had the second round of Synvisc done. The shots make both knees sore for a few days or so, it's hard for me to do some things right now, things that involve bending down or standing for a long time...My roommate seems angry at me because I got the shots, and I asked him, very politely, to pick up something I dropped. He started saying crazy things like he was going to go off his meds...Why would he be angry about helping me with one little thing if usually he's my best friend? I wonder if he is angry at me for getting my knees taken care of, or he thinks I get more attention because of my situation right now...he does have problems with borderline personality disorder...it makes me sad sometimes that he's taking this so hard and acting out, like it's my fault I have this problem...this has got me totally bummed out and I'm in pain from the shots too...

[jbug]

I am sorry you are hurting Kim. I wish I knew what to say except that I am sending you gentle hugs.

Jbug

[sparkling]

Sorry to hear that, Kim. I wish I could help you somehow. Hope you will get better soon and problem with your roommate will work itself out.
((((((( hugs )))))))
I'm here if you'd like to chat

sparkling

[LMo]

Kim, I'm thinking of you and sending you positive vibes ~~~

I'm also, by the way, really impressed and respectful of the fact that you were able to articulate how you are feeling. That's not an easy thing to do for some people. SO even though your post is sad, I find it eloquent at the same time.

and if I were your roommate, I'd bring you soup, the remote, and do your laundry for you.

[Bethsway]

Kim hope your pain goes away real quick....Hugs to you!!

[Boopers]

Kim,

That sucks that your roommate is acting this way. I'm so sorry.
Maybe if you sit down with your roomy and talk about it. Maybe your roomy doesn't really understand about the shots and what they do to you and that you just can't do things that you normally do right now. Just an idea.
I do hope things will get better for you soon and that your knees will be OK.
Linda

[froggie2]

(((((hugs to you )))))) Hope the pain is going away.

[kimthecatlover]

My roommate has been a great help recently. He gets it now, how painful it is to get the shots. My last round was yesterday. My staff don't like that I use prescription pain meds to deal with post-injection pain. They say Aleve or over the counter meds are good enough, that 'the Ultracet(which is not all that strong)affects your mood' like major post-injection, into a JOINT, pain does not affect my mood? Sorry if I just ranted...

[cynicalsierra]

Im sorry that you are going through this right now but im proud of you that you are staying strong right now. You will get through this.

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope things get better for you soon. am sory that you are burned out about the response that your roommate gave you the other day. you must remember this though borderlines are hard to establish formal patterns with for a long period of time. This is not your fault, and you may want to have a talk with your room mate regarding that you are not doing well after you have the shots, and you need help from time to time, after getting the shots, from them. This way maybe your room mate will be a little more understanding after you get the shots the next time. Maybe you and the room mate can make a plan and put it on the fridge as to what the room mate will need to do at the home after you get the shot, that way there is no chaos and hurt feeling and the room mate feels less thereatened by the fact that you are the one needing the attention after you get your shots. Just make sure that the room mate is in agreement as to what they will do when you are not capable of doing things at the house, and make a plan for you as well as to when your room mate is not able to do things at the house. That way things are equal and your room mate will be less triggered from your need of help and support when you need it the most. As far as your room mate going off of his medication, that is his choice, and you need to kee0p your own mental health safe at this time, and if the pressure and stress become too much you need to talk to your Dr about a medication adjustment, and if this living arrangement is not suitable and meeting your emotional and mental health needs it is possible that you need to talk to your therapist about getting a case manager and move into more appropriate housing where you will be safe in your mental health recovery. Take care I wish you the best Sincerely Soidhonia

[(JD)]

[January]

((((( Kim ))))))

I hope you feel better very soon.

Hugs,

Jan

[AlteredState01]

I so feel for you, KimTCL. Living with a borderline is like, well, horrible. I know, 'cause I am one!

Have you been friends/roomies long? I ask because, if it is your desire to stay with this friend, it might be good to "study" him.

Surprisingly, although borderlines are all over the place in their moods, behaviours, etc., we are also very predictable in that we have very set patterns on how we will react, and how deeply. We even experience "cycles" of behaviours (and these cycles could run for years - I have a 3-year cycle that I go through).

The toughest part is you always have to be on your toes to respond accordingly to the type of reaction of your roomie is displaying (I'm talking negative reactions only, here, because positive ones aren't really that tough to deal with!)

My b/f can "read" me quite well (which ticks me off to some degree, because it lessens the power of the drama I am creating to express "my" pain, but on the other hand, it also creates an atmosphere where I can come back to my senses, so to speak, alot quicker than if I were "allowed" to run amok with emotions).

After I found out he was studying me, I began studying him! I would watch how he reacted to certain things that would easily and consistently trigger me (like watching the news, reading a newspaper, certain subjects like religion/personal beliefs, what I would act like in line-ups, etc.) and I noticed that he would respond differently to each of these situations - all of which would start to defuse me (sometimes) rather than excite me further. Sometimes, he just had to leave because I would be so unreasonable or snotty or whiny (whatever), which in itself, made me take note of how I was behaving, as well.

I know you have your own problems to deal with and living with a borderline just adds more stress to your life (maybe too much depending on how agressive his BPD is).

What I have noticed that works the best is VERY STRONG BOUNDARIES - YOURS! And consistency in practicing those boundaries. (For instance: Your roomie always threatens to go off his meds. That must scare you to some degree, no? You could set a boundary that, should he decide to go ahead and do that, or if you realize that he has already done so, that he must move out immediately or vice-versa). Hint: borderlines are very co-dependent, it's unlikely he will actually go through with it, even though there will always be threats with doing that , as well. Of course, the other biggie here is cooperation. If you don't have his cooperation (if he is not actively working on dealing with his illness(es), well, I just don't know what to say, except "RUN!"

What seems to control me best is knowing EXACTLY where I stand with someone, especially on issues or situations that are deeply important to the other person. I will always test to see how far I can push a person. I will always try to push and push and push. Knowing exactly where I stand with someone protects us both - physically, emotionally, mentally, and spritually.

Your roomie seems to bring you down alot. That's a drag. But know this, YOU have alot more power in this relationship than you realize. Do not let his dramatics tear you down. (Yeah, I know, always easier said than done...)

Have lots of tips for you on how to "control me!" Just ask!

AS

[desirae]

Sorry your going through a rough time, I would mention to your friend that you don't mean to make him feel odd, all you need is a little help here and there. If he acts grumpy about be sure to say something, after all, you live together and are friends.