[IceColdSpear]

Hello well I'm just posting this here because I figured that out of all the places on the Internet I could go that this is the best place I have available. I've asked this question before but nobody could ever give me an answer. I've always felt like for years that I've been a target on the Internet. I consider this a reality rather than just a personal feeling or suspicion. I have been banned from so many forums and websites, abused in multiplayer gaming, and bullied for doing certain things that other accepted people are doing yet nobody gets on their case for anything.

I consider the Internet a great tool of communication that is ruined by other people and how they choose to behave. Considering how I have also had personal issues growing up, and I have been diagnosed with depression, I consider it very gruesome that I cannot even get any support or respect on the Internet of all places. This is supposed to be an anonymous (or personal, if you choose to reveal yourself), tool of communication to spread knowledge and understanding.

So I was wondering if people here could help me with my very specific issue. Have any of you ever experienced this personal, all encompassing personal discrimination? I am like a ghostly shadow these days on the Internet, having been ostracised from so many places, I just sit from a distance and observe others as they go about their activities. I feel left out, targeted, attacked and betrayed that a technological medium with such amazing positive potential has treated me like dirt when I am depressed and needed an escape and comfort zone from my real life problems.

I am considering leaving the Internet for good by the end of this year and never coming back, because of what I described above. I was robbed and defiled of my right to be a person with a username and an opinion who is treated with respect. This might seem a bit grim what I am saying but if I had some way to take the memories from my brain and show you the pain and suffering the Internet has caused me I would do it. I would post it to the forum and let everybody see.

[glok]

Welcome to the Community, IceColdSpear. Sorry for your internet experience.

I wish you well.

[Nammu]

Welcome

There're rules here too, but everyone must follow them so there isn't any discrimination here. I'm sorry about your past experiences too.

[ifst5]

Welcome to PC - this place is more thoroughly regulated so as long as you're willing to abide by the rules/guidelines you shouldn't have any issues.

I'm not of the belief that the internet is a generally kind, caring place. So with that i take responsibility as an adult for what i expose myself too - if a place isn't properly moderated, with specific goals/values, i stay well away.

This is a support site, if you're looking for support i see no reason why you wouldn't be able to find it here. All the best.

[madworld42]

My view of the internet is it's just full of people with bottled up emotions who explode online since they can't do it in person. They internet is not a nice place and unfortunately, the more sensitive someone seems, the more of a target they become. So I think your experience is common. I think it happens everywhere. I'm just sorry you've had to deal with so much of it.

Hi ICS, I'm sorry for you and for all of us who have had rotten experiences with being online. I've belonged to 2 forums in the past and made some dear friends on those forums. Aside from those forums, I've experienced a lot of hurt and frustration with being online. I am an empty-nest mom and I'm very alone, so I go online to connect with friends. Overall, however, my experience online is far more hurtful than it is helpful. Whenever I've traveled and been away form the internet for 2 or more days I did not miss it one bit.

What I'm saying is, I believe your experience with being online is more common than not...unfortunately. I agree with madworld42.

[IceColdSpear]

Originally Posted by madworld42

My view of the internet is it's just full of people with bottled up emotions who explode online since they can't do it in person. They internet is not a nice place and unfortunately, the more sensitive someone seems, the more of a target they become. So I think your experience is common. I think it happens everywhere. I'm just sorry you've had to deal with so much of it.

Yes well like I said in the OP this situation fits into my real life situation. The Internet should be for everybody, I own it just as much as you and the next guy. But it has greatly affected my real life depression as a key tool to vent and get acceptance was taken away from me. I try not to box myself in with terms such as "sensitive"; rather, I would like to see myself as thoughtful and realistic. The only real times I am ever truly sensitive or soft is when I am with loved ones or by myself where the judgemental eyes of the world are not staring down upon me.

But with how things are these days I also realize that you need to give yourself a hard image, or else things might not go as good for you. But I have my own problems and would rather not constantly puff my chest out to make a point to other people when it seems so needless to begin with.

[Notoriousglo]

I think your initial belief of the internet as a safe place is flawed...it is not safe. I think you need to redefine the virtual environment as somewhere where anything can happen...good or bad. If you then see that, you might feel a bit better or at least be aware that technology is not for emotional safety... it can in fact be very dangerous. All of us post on the net knowing the reciprocated info could be negative. You need a practical source for safety and that is not the virtual world... Good luck!

[fluffbuster]

you have to always be on the defensive most times on the internet - cause there are malacious people out there who are out ONLY to give people hards times - that is how they get their jollies. i remember once (a decade ago) - i was in a multiplayer and there were obviously more savvy people than i - cause they blew out my computer!!! now i have anti-spyware, anti-malware, anti-virus - you name it cause i'm never going through that again. this forum is one of the nicest ones out there - so treat us kindly and we're yours for life.

One suggestion I've found that works is communicating mostly with people online who are peers...similar age range, similar interests, similar politics & religious beliefs, etc. People I would hang out with in real life.

[ChipperMonkey]

I think that when the same thing keeps on happening over and over and over again, it is helpful to look inward instead of developing conspiracy theories. On every new site you join, you agree to the terms of service, and you get to start fresh as a new person. Are you not following the rules? Are you being aggressive or hostile? The only common denominator in all of this is you, so I think its time to seriously look at your behavior. (You can't use the internet as a common denominator because its so vast and varied---that would be like saying all Americans are a common denominator.)

[TheDeepGreenSea]

Originally Posted by IceColdSpear

Yes well like I said in the OP this situation fits into my real life situation. The Internet should be for everybody, I own it just as much as you and the next guy. But it has greatly affected my real life depression as a key tool to vent and get acceptance was taken away from me. I try not to box myself in with terms such as "sensitive"; rather, I would like to see myself as thoughtful and realistic. The only real times I am ever truly sensitive or soft is when I am with loved ones or by myself where the judgemental eyes of the world are not staring down upon me.

But with how things are these days I also realize that you need to give yourself a hard image, or else things might not go as good for you. But I have my own problems and would rather not constantly puff my chest out to make a point to other people when it seems so needless to begin with.

Hey man, interesting topic for sure. Thanks for posting it. Sorry you feel like you're going through this.

I thought about it since I've been around on the internet for a looong long time, on pretty much every social form of it from BBS to newsgroups and IRC etc.

Everything on the internet is different. There's a kind of language to every place that you'll go. There's also often an unspoken rule set that goes along with it. Unless the place is meant for it (like here), you have to learn that and absorb it before you can really join in.

I noticed you have a slight tendency towards purple prose in your first post. Are you joining communities and pulling out the figurative big theatrical verbal guns on them? I can be kind of an esoteric wordy guy sometimes, so I'm not judging. It's just you have to sometimes tone that down to avoid alienating an audience. People can sometimes take it as you trying to show them up even if you don't mean to.

I may be way off though! The Internet can definitely be a harsh/difficult place.

[IceColdSpear]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I think that when the same thing keeps on happening over and over and over again, it is helpful to look inward instead of developing conspiracy theories. On every new site you join, you agree to the terms of service, and you get to start fresh as a new person. Are you not following the rules? Are you being aggressive or hostile? The only common denominator in all of this is you, so I think its time to seriously look at your behavior. (You can't use the internet as a common denominator because its so vast and varied---that would be like saying all Americans are a common denominator.)

I've already talked about this part; yes, I do follow the rules. If anything, a common denominator is that people even openly come out and admit that they are abusing me; they dare me to do something about it. Then and only then do I give them what they deserve back. I won't entertain your notion of me being the problem because it's just not true. I am one person that comes to be a part of things. If I was truly into 'conspiracy theories' as you claim then I wouldn't have worded my post so elaborately. I would have simply said "everybody is against me" and left it at that.

I can use the Internet as a common denominator because of it's anonymity and easy access factors. Americans are counted as 'one entity' in polls and research projects all the time. Context is key.

I have looked inward and I disagree with what you are getting at here. On the contrary, when I constantly look inward and try to fix myself to become a better person, yet other people still exhibit the same negative behaviour, they are the problem. I never see them looking inward or questioning themselves, and if you want me to bow down and say everything is my fault then be prepared to wait your entire life.

I didn't find the original post written in "purple prose." I found it literate and sincere, which is why I bothered to read it and reply.

[-jimi-]

Well.. yea, but for me it is IRL as well. People simply cannot stand that I exist. I've had stalkers and death threats by people on sites even where I have made myself utterly small and basically never spoken. I have actually been kicked out of places not for breaking rules because I didn't, but to stop other people from misbehaving, which they did because they were such great people and I was such a lowlife.

Sometimes I think they can just glance at us and know who "we" are.

jimi, your post reminds me of a man I know. He's a good person at heart, craves friendship, but for some reason he often scares people so they react to him in a negative way. I can never exactly figure out what the problem is. The man is eccentric, but not malicious in any way...he can be trusted. I've kind of stopped hanging around with the guy, though, because wherever we'd go together people would react badly to him...kick him out (for absolutely no reason other than he was being himself), pick arguments with him, question his motives, and even go so far as to call the cops on him because they were "afraid".

I think our world is extremely paranoid these days...so sure that "somebody is out to get me"...people tend to over-react.

[-jimi-]

Sister Rags, it might be like that with me. I mean, my real friends love me to bits. I am a loyal friend. It would have been better if I had been born a dog. I stick up for my people.

People don't seem to fear ME per se. I think something in their subconscious reacts. Like even if their conscious selves know I am not and will not be a parent, their insides reacts to tell them this person needs to be removed from the gene pool. This is an abnormal person. I think it is instinct.

In the past when I was more unstable, they liked to drive me to anger outbursts so they could hold that against me. My anger was then exaggerated when told to others. I could have said things like "I really feel this is unfair!" and it was retold like I had threatened someone. But when other stalked and threatened me, and told me how I should die and how someone should kill me, if I ever reacted to that, it was me who was lying the way they saw it. EVEN IF I HAD PHYSICAL PROOF.

So makes me really wonder what sets off people like that, why their instinct to erase someone gets so strong. The only valid point I can come up with is that weirdos are screened out by evolution.

[-jimi-]

Spear, this is not the place to defend yourself. Here they want you not to, under any circumstances (and I mean any). They want abusive posts silently reported.

I can see myself in you how I was several years ago, I was a lot about justice and people being treated the same. But I have realized that is just a strange ideal I have which most people do not agree with. Having people riling you up will always make you the bad guy, no matter if your feelings are valid. People react to people who react.

I know it hurts to be judged by people who do not know us. Especially if they are so many that their take on us becomes the popular idea. But to break the cycle you have to stop reacting. Or they will use that to their advantage.

I have been played so many times I have learned the rules of the game. I could probably play it back at them. But I don't want to be that kind of person.

[brainhi]

I treat the internet like anyother thing in life. I choose who I let in and who I respond to. We learn if it is working for us - we get to know people (we do not get to see body language - and that is hard for me to see who I'm relating to). If I am being mistreated (which have not run into this with my experiences) I can block them or I can go away.

[MrMessy]

I find that different websites/forums have different groups of people and different environments/rules.

I don't personally pay attention to negative comments, so it doesn't effect me.

But certain you will always find nasty people online, if they are obeying the rules of an online forum etc, there is not much you can, except find somewhere else with a better group of people.

Originally Posted by -jimi-

Sister Rags, it might be like that with me. I mean, my real friends love me to bits. I am a loyal friend. It would have been better if I had been born a dog. I stick up for my people.

People don't seem to fear ME per se. I think something in their subconscious reacts. Like even if their conscious selves know I am not and will not be a parent, their insides reacts to tell them this person needs to be removed from the gene pool. This is an abnormal person. I think it is instinct.

In the past when I was more unstable, they liked to drive me to anger outbursts so they could hold that against me. My anger was then exaggerated when told to others. I could have said things like "I really feel this is unfair!" and it was retold like I had threatened someone. But when other stalked and threatened me, and told me how I should die and how someone should kill me, if I ever reacted to that, it was me who was lying the way they saw it. EVEN IF I HAD PHYSICAL PROOF.

So makes me really wonder what sets off people like that, why their instinct to erase someone gets so strong. The only valid point I can come up with is that weirdos are screened out by evolution.

Yeah, you're definitely not alone...I feel bad for you. People can be so limited in their thinking, they often judge without even knowing why, without considering that just because someone is different doesn't mean he's dangerous. And the real kicker is that so often - SO often - people misjudge. It's the old Ted Bundy story...Ted was handsome, intelligent, fit it, charming, friendly, no one guessed that he was a monster.

[Ripose]

I have to agree with OP as I have experienced the same thing, not just on the Internet but throughout my life. It is worse on the Internet due to lack of visual and auditory signals that we would normally use in a conversation.

However, there are MANY people on the Internet who do not even bother to read your post properly. They don't even understand what you said, yet they get nasty and jump all over you.

It is worse for me because I am overly sensitive to rudeness, ignorance and arrogance. Which is why I suffer Socially Avoidance IRL.

I still think the real question is why are there so many ^%&holes in the world?

Yeah, the people who either don't bother to read a post or have poor reading comprehension skills, but get nasty and jump all over you are the real jerks. It seems to me that they are the people who are just looking for a way to dump their anger.