[(JD)]

I always advise against self diagnosing.

[Maven]

I want to send good wishes to David and his wife, too. I'm sorry you didn't find much support here.

[sparkling]

If they really wanted to harass someone they wouldn't introduce themselves as a pedophile in the first place. Because it's revealing all the things they'd want to hide from the members here.

As for your question - I don't think any place on the Internet can be perfectly safe. Everyone can register any number of times under different names using different email addresses and say anything they please - truth or not. Internet is a great invention but it is also dangerous. You never really know who are you talking to. That's why you need to be really careful about what information you reveal to people.

[spiritual_emergency]

bronee: i mean if they really wanna prey on the vulnerable in PC couldnt they get by it with new name email etc

As an observation, people who present themselves as potential sexual abusers are likely not the ones you should be concerned with. People who are sincerely interested in preying on you are not going to slap a label on their forehead so you can anticipate their motives.

i just want to feel safe

There are different degrees of safety. For example, a person will often need to feel that it's okay to be vulnerable before they can share personal details with another person. Community moderators can help create that kind of climate but there's other kinds of safety issues to consider, particularly in the online environment. If, for example, you were sharing your personal name and address with other people in the chat room... they can't protect you from things like that. In other words, the person who is in the best position to keep you safe is probably you. Even if a full-blown raging pedophile was to show up on this site, he or she can't actually physically harm you unless you give him or her the tools to do so.

Check out this site for more info: wiredsafety.org

Here's another good site: WHOA: How to Stay Safe Online

[WifeofLS]

Thank you all very much for the support you have showed my husband, and myself. It is to bad that people are closed minded and do mis use words, so there for they have a serve misunderstanding. I learned to walk a mile in the shoes of my husband before I came to understand the term. I like the rest of the world thought it might rapiesst, not just thoughts.

I hummbled myself and walked a mile in the shoes of my husband and tried to understand him. We live with strict rules to protect my husband and other people from his demon.

he is in intense thearpy, and FYI sky his theaperist gave him the title, not himself. there is those toes again, sorry

[drunksunflower]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SeptemberMorn said:
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4) I wasn't abused as a child, no.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That says it all right there!! You have NO IDEA what you're talking about! "Theoretical knowledge" is all it is, a THEORY! Those of us who HAVE SUFFERED at the hands of a sexual pervert are the only ones that truly KNOW HOW IT FEELS to live with that abuse and its after effects!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

LOL.

Your issue is not the only issue on the planet, and I'll thank you to remember that.

So ... my mother died of cancer when I was 17 after a massive 3 year battle. Do i get upset when people talk about that illness on the boards? No, I simply don't read those threads - it is a very ****** subject for me.

I just believe that sometimes people are capable of changing - maybe not the majority in this situation, but there is a minority. The fact someone voiced their demons ... and was so horribly treated ... is incredibly sad.

Do you spend each day wondering what any given individual is fantasising about, in case it is something inappropriate that may have happened to some member of PC? No? Well I bet this person is not the only one who is 'guilty' of this, or other, inappropriate thoughts, sick as they may be.

Showing some humanity for a fellow victim of abuse in THIS situation would have been much kinder. You don't have to talk to him. You don't have to listen to him, read his threads. You would have had the chance to ignore.

But I guess that's not good enough ...

[Greenleaves]

I feel sad that some people are not welcomed.

When I get upset sometimes I make suicide threats and they hurt people, am I not welcomed here either?

(((((((((all sentient beings))))))))))

[Maven]

Ooh, what a cool site! Thanks for that, spiritual_emergency.

I might add that the Dateline site has a "sample profile" for those on MySpace (but the info applies to all kinds of sites), showing you some of the info that people often post that can make it easier for a person to find them. It's mostly for teens, but it can easily apply to adults. Here's the link: TMI! How much information is too much information?

[(JD)]

Ok how is this thread supporting DocJohn and admin on their decision they made?
How is this thread NOT discussing administrative issues? How is this thread not throwing stones at others they felt threw stones?

No, we obviously all can't get along, which IMO is part of why the decision was made.

[drunksunflower]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
_Sky said:
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waaay ahead of you people!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> sound familiar?

Ok how is this thread supporting DocJohn and admin on their decision they made?
How is this thread NOT discussing administrative issues? How is this thread not throwing stones at others they felt threw stones?

No, we obviously all can't get along, which IMO is part of why the decision was made.

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Quoting the time difference between America and Aotearoa is hardly relevant Sky ...

I am happy that there is allowed to be some discussion for once.

I realise that Admin will not reverse the decision, and well, it's not my or anyone else's place to ask them to. But I think some people choose to read what they want to read into other people's posts and lives. I am all for discussion, otherwise I think things are resented even more.

i never try to reveal too much
i want to feel safe in coming here to find comfort with ppl that know what im talkin about
and in that i actually want to be able to talk about at least some of what im going thru
its hard in this world to talk to alot of ppl when they dont really understand what ur going thru and hence i came here
cos even my closest friends dont get me alot of the time no matter how much i tell them its not their fault and im kinda glad cos i wood never want them to go thru what i have
it just shook me up to have the thought is all and as my bf says sometimes i think too much...

[Maven]

drunksunflower said:
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I am all for discussion, otherwise I think things are resented even more.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[drunksunflower]

And it's fine, I don't mind people telling me I'm wrong ... I am not unsympathetic though. I just have a different view of this particular poster, because of the individual poster.

Please stop assuming that I think 'all p / philes can be rehabilitated', etc. That is not what I said at all.

[(JD)]

This hasn't been a good discussion IMO. but taking shots at one another and making everyone look evil. Certainly none of us are as bad as the others are trying to make the collective us.

Please everyone, step back, take a deep breath and realize the big picture. DocJohn did say something about how this site cannot accomodate everyone... unfortunately. We all know this. Not even Eagels and Osprey can live in the same nest. Some things just don't work.

The thread needs to be closed, IMO.
Many more members are becoming upset and hurt over the "goings on" and the supposedly blame and what they are reading and reading into other's comments.

No, we all can't just get along.

Now this is the place to show support for the decision. Admin are human too...and they do this through a struggle, and to try and find things that work for the majority, I think.

[drunksunflower]

I never said I didn't support the decision, even though I may not agree with it.

A step back is a good idea.

[spiritual_emergency]

bronee: i never try to reveal too much

I think the best idea is to share what you feel a need to share, but often, that information doesn't have to include personal details such as where you live, go to school, etc.

drunkensunflower: I am all for discussion, otherwise I think things are resented even more.

I'll third that. Often what can't be talked about is what most needs to be talked about. To be granted, lots has come up in this discussion ideally, David will now be moving on with encouragement from others; his wife has had an opportunity to defend someone she loves (she knows him better than anyone here might); there has been plenty of reassurance offered that those who can't extend compassion shouldn't have to; and even concerns such as HeyJoe's and Bronee's have been addressed in regard to online safety -- particularly among the teens who may participate here.

By the way Maven, thanks for your link. I would encourage everybody to check it out -- teens can be especially vulnerable due to their inexperience but I've seen some adults post way too much information too. If every member of the community is willing to take responsibility for their own online safety it will make the jobs of the mods much, much easier. Keeping yourself safe is also a means of empowering you, which will reduce your own possible fears.

[WifeofLS]

Maybe if the Majority was of the same thought that could be said, that really doesnt seem to be the case.

you seem to have alot of IMO in IMO. If you don't like what people are saying don't read it. is that realy that hard?

My husband is a human who was searching for help, and he got burned at the stake. He is never alone on a computer, but that fact doesnt matter, as long as everyone got to twist everything around to suit them,

se i dont say that
i dont tell ppl that
i agree with sky this is gettin far too out of hand

[WifeofLS]

Should this be censored as well?

[okiedokie]

Why the heck did admin announce the new guideline and not tell us that oh, btw, lostson and, now we've invited his wife here too, to get her side of the story, are going to stay with us for just a few more days until EVERYONE is entirely pissed off, and THEN they walk away feeling that they have received enough attention already!! Like lostson said, why this is all about little old me? Or some such crap.

I don't come here for shock value. I don't come here to witness the mudslinging. I don't come here to fight with anyone. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I come here. All it has become for me is an aggravation and certainly one I can do without.

[spiritual_emergency]

My apologies bronee. It wasn't my intention to imply that you do. But some people do and that's when people can become vulnerable to real-life predators. In terms of yourself, if you're discreet about the information you share, all I can say is please do keep it up.

[Maven]

If this thread is upsetting anyone, remember...you don't have to read it.

[drunksunflower]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
okiedokie said:
Why the heck did admin announce the new guideline and not tell us that oh, btw, lostson and, now we've invited his wife here too, to get her side of the story, are going to stay with us for just a few more days until EVERYONE is entirely pissed off, and THEN they walk away feeling that they have received enough attention already!! Like lostson said, why this is all about little old me? Or some such crap.

I don't come here for shock value. I don't come here to witness the mudslinging. I don't come here to fight with anyone. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I come here. All it has become for me is an aggravation and certainly one I can do without.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Don't read it then ... there is nothing forcing you or anyone else to open this thread.

I just feel this is a unique situation which well, the reaction has been disappointing.

The thing people seem to focus on is that apparently what I and others have said is focusing on THEIR experience with a p/phile. We're not. Well I'm certainly not. I find this case and this person's attitude quite amazing.

I love how people assume to know my views on p/philes just because I have stated what I think in this case.

[PasDeDeux]

Dr John, what is taking you so long Sky wants this thread closed

[heyjoe]

Well I can see there are people here who live by the creed keep saying it over and over and louder and louder and attack anyone who doesnt agree with me and I prove im right. Im not even going to dignify drunksunflowers insults about me and others with a response. After all what could i possibly say to sway someone who believes he knows more of what abuse victims should feel than they do. By the way for those of you who buy this whole story of the person being told to leave his wife showing up right after he goes and being on chat 6 minutes later, I have a nice bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.