Experience of being bullied?

Bullies are weak people who mirror their insecurities on others - making others look small makes them believe that the voice inside that says bad things about them is wrong - look how strong and powerful i am they say - but the voice inside says you are weak and frail and ugly - so the oppress others to feel bigger - but it just makes them small

I am bullied at work - i find the best response is sweetness and light - i think to myself - as you reap so may you sow - kharma will get them

i hiope those of you are bullied can find someone at work or home to listen

As much as I understand the logic of why people bully, I can't get over my own experiences.

The bullying for me was all through childhood but was worst in high school. I had to switch schools it was so bad.

Ever since then I have this constant need to be liked by people. Be the smartest, the prettiest, the most charming, etc.

It's not good.

RenouncedTroglodyte: It's good that you stood up against your bullies but I worry that if you fight back in some or most cases, you will also get blamed for hitting out? I personally believe that fighting a bully should be a last resort, like when they trap you in a alley way. But I totally also understand that you had your mental health, etc. I'm happy and proud of you

phoenix7: That's very cool that you fight back against your bullies with sweetness and kindness It's also totally ok to calmly tell the bullies to get lost

lywasq: I hope one day you can overcome the past experience of being bullied. It can be very hard though. I'm sorry to hear that you even had to switch schools.

tell someone

Yeah only people with mental problems do that...people without mental problems are always saints and never abuse others. I really wish people wouldn't perpetuate that ignorance. I've gotten bullied by plenty perfectly normal 'well adjusted' individuals for seeming a bit different and not really fitting in.

I Always helped people which were bullied at school.

Why did they do that to you?

Bullies, most of the time have really bad experiences at home, and they eject all their anger, pain and insecurity towards Others.

I wish I could have helped you

As a young child I would always lash out at any bullies who tried to harass me and I would always be the one to get in trouble, so I had to just let things go. It definitely was not fair.
Later in junior high school it seemed when ever I lashed out against a bully he always had someone much bigger and stronger than myself who would protect them and again I had to learn to let the bully continue. I tried reporting bullies to teachers but nothing was ever said or done about the problem. It seemed as if bullies were protected in our society.

Now if I encounter a bully I either lash out instantly with a verbal tirade or my brain shuts down and I can't respond at all. I'm not sure why this happens.

Basic respect has all but disappeared from our modern society and I continually advocate for it's return, but it's a long uphill battle that needs a lot more proponents instead of people who seem to think that ignoring the problem is the best way to go.

I completely agree with this post ((((((( phoenix )))))))))

I've been there too (it is not fair )

And I agree with what you say about respect

I've been bullied by apparently "normal" and "well adjusted" people for not "fitting in" and seeming/looking "different" but I do still think they were very insecure individuals, who hid that "well" .(?)... Otherwise why bother picking on someone else. But who knows, I could be wrong

I do also know plenty of people who are "insecure" and who are lovely, kind people..

I dislike stereotypes, and the stigma against mental illness saddens me greatly. It seems little has changed ... The misconceptions, ignorance etc (amongst so called "normal" people continues on...)

i was bullied by 2 girls at an all girl high school. thy did terrible things to me that are almost unmentionable. i couldn't wait until they graduated as they were a year ahead of me. my last year was so refreshing to be without them there.

Forgive me if I feel like a post like yours is "too little too late." I was severely bullied for two years in middle school and very nearly killed myself because of it. It utterly destroyed my trust in others and led to severe depression, anxiety and isolation. Now I'm terrified of ever being bullied again.

Being bullied to the point of suicide when I was a teen broke me; I've never been the same. And I know it's the same for many others.

It's nice that there is more awareness and activism about bullying nowadays but I wonder if it's actually helping. The worst thing to do when it comes to bullying is to use half-measures. You either step in and save someone's life, or you let it go and become part of the problem.

Gosh i'm sorry to hear about those experiences. It's terrible and horrible.

avlady: I hope since then, you have not gone through any bullying.
OneinBillions: I'm glad that you are still with us and that the bullying didn't result in you ending your life. You are a strong person.

I was bullied in elementary school and middle school, but not in high school after I hit puberty. Bullies just want to pick on people they think are 'weak'. I was also bullied during college, but very subtly. I was a depressed, numb kid with no direction or sense of purpose in life, minding my own business. I had difficulty 'growing up', i still felt very much like a kid, other kids used to call me an 'old person', because I wasn't like them, I didn't dress 'hip', I didn't smile, I didn't seek attention and I wasn't popular with girls. I was too numb to get too upset about it back then, but looking back, it kinda hurts that people were so mean to a depressed young kid who never hurt anyone. Maybe I was a bit awkward, but I was a nice kid.

I'm 24 now, I still get judged based on my appearance now. I got pretty sick a few years ago, lost 20 pounds in about a month, I was too numb with depression to care for myself, I didn't have a friend in the world, lived away from family. I took too long to realize that my health was deteriorating, took me even longer to gather enough determination to go the doctor. I was blessed with good looks when I was younger, now I've lost it. People either ridicule me or look at me with pity, so I've always been bullied in one form or another. I just can't fit in. I'm constantly being judged.

introspectiveme: It's horrible what you have gone through. You are not weak. A thousand people could think you are weak but that doesn't mean you are. For some people it's easy to be judgemental of others just because their in a group. Their not the ones outside, being bullied. In my opinion bullying is weak and completely wrong.
I believe and hope you can overcome the past.

I responded to this thread earlier, but posting again based on rumination on my 25th high school reunion last weekend. I could make the excuse of distance for not attending, but I would not have gone anyway.

I’ve seen the photos and read the names (and often needed both) to identify the players and feel like I’m at peace with what happened there. The vast majority of people simply left me alone, and were pleasant enough. But it feels weird to see them mix it up with the most aggressive of my bullies, now balding, graying, middle-aged men.

Honestly I have a better picture now on how this impacted my life, and it isn’t how I thought. The abuse basically stopped in my Senior year, and I was incredibly happy about this – and looking forward to a fresh start in college. It felt over and done with, whew. But I was wrong.

Many of these classmates were great people! They have interesting lives (and I’m not complaining, I have too), and it would be great to talk with them and recall the past. Except, there is NO PAST. Aside from talking about teachers and the town, I would have no conversation. I missed my chance to build GOOD memories in high school.

The bullying stopped, and is largely forgotten. But only recently I’ve realized the greatest loss – the almost amnesiac feeling that there is a hole in my memory from 12 – 18 that can never be filled.

Thanks, I hope I can overcome my past too. At the moment I have really terrible self esteem.

The first and second time I remember being bullied was in my first year of school, Kindergarten, and I was bullied by the danged teacher! So, suffice it to say, school was always a difficult concept for me from then on. Too bad it took until I was an older adult to figure all that out. *sigh*

To all who have been bullied I send you my understanding and compassion.

I so get this! I have yet to go to one of my class reunions. I have no want to go and hang out with a bunch of mouthy, overly happy, nosy, drunken classmates. They did nothing to accept me then, why should I give them the time of day now? I'm just fine with my life and without them in it!

Yep, the classmates didn't accept me either I have no idea where any of them are anyway (I had a few "friends" at school but lost contact with them
And teachers bullied me too (in particular a music teacher and an English teacher)

I'm some what surprised about a teacher being a bully >__< but it goes to show that both students and teachers can be bullies. Anyone can be a bully.

This is so true

I never thought that what some teaches of mine did and said could be considered bullying, but maybe yes, it is.

This may sound a bit childish and ridiculous but I'll explain what my kindergarten teacher did to me that made me feel bullied.

Mind you, this was back in 1961. Seems there were a lot of old gray haired ladies as teachers back then and boy they were something else! We had a 2 stall bathroom in our classroom. I was in it one day, doing my thing and I never heard another child come into the bathroom. I came out, washed my hands and we had it ingrained into us that when we leave the bathroom to turn out the light. So, that's what I did. I walked out and turned the light off without realizing there was another kid in the bathroom.

This kid screamed bloody murder as the door shut behind me and before I could react and turn the light back on, the teacher came over to the door, turned the light on and her face was all screwed up looking at me and she was angry! She grabbed my arm, dragged me back to my chair, sat me down hard and began to berate me for the horrible thing I had just done. I was made to sit in the classroom when the rest of them went out to recess. I could see them all having fun and playing while I sat there crying, contemplating how badly I had behaved. Honestly, I was scared to death at that point. My own parents had never grabbed me and dragged me to a chair before or anywhere for that matter.

There was yet another situation later in the school year where she also berated me in front of the classroom, made fun of me, told me I couldn't partake in ice cream day and I had to sit in the classroom again while everyone else was outside eating ice cream. I know I was crying because one of the kitchen workers passed by our room and heard me. She came into the room and asked what was wrong and I told her how horrible I must have been. She was so sweet, she gave me a hug and said, "wait right here, I'll be right back". When she came back she had an ice cream for me and she told me I didn't have to pay the 10cents for it that the other kids had to pay. I had to eat it quickly before the class came back in but boy did it taste sweet and special.

Here I am, almost 60 years old and I remember those experiences like they happened yesterday. I am not usually one to place blame on someone like this but that teacher did all she could do to ruin my school experience to the point where I was afraid to join in, I was afraid to voice my opinions, I was afraid to be called on in class in case I was to be berated, laughed at, discouraged, bullied and anything else that my young mind could conger up. Believe me, the kids in that classroom all enjoyed laughing at me and making fun of me after those 2 incidents.

School just sucked after all that!

(I did have a 3rd grade teacher that was an absolute love. She was older and gray haired but was kind and calm and sweet.)

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you Sabby. That teacher is just plain silly and seems impulsive. She should of asked you what happened in regards to the toilet incident. Also things such as bullying you, calling you out in class, etc, this is unacceptable.