i am new, looking for understanding and support

hey my name is nikk i am 23 and live in connecticut, i am new to the boards, i have been officially diagnosed about 2 months ago manic/bipolor depressive, with some other issues, i don't really understand it, and i don't understand why me, i have always been happy until about 3 yrs ago, when i was going through a "rough" time and tried to kill myself, and was seperated from the navy because of it, and i went on for awhile then i cut my wrist again and was forced to the docter or my husband was leaving well i seen the doc and he still left, oh well, they have me on 3 differnt drugs that don't work, i still feel sad, depressed worthless, i have pushed my friends away because i don't want them to see me in so much pain, i don't know how to deal with my issues and i don't really understand it can any one help
nikki

nikki, welcome to the forums. You will find a lot of people here who can relate to what you are going through. Are you in therapy? It can be a big help to have someone there just to listen and help.

Please try to remember that you are not worthless...you just have an illness. Sometimes the treatment takes awhile, but it is something that you can get better from.

mj

Hi
We are hear for you. MJ is right. You are not worthless. You sometimes may feel like you are. Those are the tough days. Self talk is helpful. You sound like my cousin. She was recently diagnosed with bipolar. After many drugs she is now on lithium and it's been quite helpful. She is back to living a "normal" life. People here are very supportive. Anytime you need to vent or want advice or just someone to talk to. you can certainly get it here. Keep us updated. Remember we are here for you.

"you only have one chance to make a first impression"

Hello Babyorca03, Welcome !

You seem like in a panic mood, its' ok, but just calm down a bit.

Do you have a family doctor ? You need to see some doctor who can help you.

When found, then he/she may prescribe you the medications you need.

The 1st psychiatrist doctor I've met was in 1999, I was aged 36.

By then, I had met 4 or 5 psychologists, and they all helped me in some way, but not like the way I felt after my psychiatrist prescribed me some medications, back in 1999.

I'm on Effexor now (an antidepressant), and it really helps me in many ways.

Sincerely,

Starbuck





Born in 1963 of French mom and Canadian dad. Studied and worked (Majors in History, Theology. M.A. in Sociology).

Hi Nikki, welcome to the forums! So young and so much to deal with. Well, you're among friends now, and a lot of us can relate to what you're feeling. And as MJ so beautifully put it, you are not worthless, you have an illness that makes you feel this way. And it can be put under control. But it takes a lot of hard work and effort.

I hope you'll come here a lot and let us get to know you. I'm really glad you found us!

Hugs,
Greg

Hi Nikki! The beginning of recovery can be very difficult. You're doing some really posative things for yourself though! You're going to a doc and you've come here for help. That's awesome! I know that feeling of worthlessness. It will pass. I too have manic depression. The road of getting to the correct meds can be a challenge, but you can do it! You're not alone. Many of us here have been through it. One thing that has been important for me to remember is that I'm not my illness. When my illness is active I feel a bunch of negative stuff, but that's not who I am. I too have found that counseling has been extremely important in recovery. Especially with manic depression, the feelings can be so overpowering and the self talk can be so negative. I need someone I can meet with every week who can help me see what's real. I pushed away a bunch of people too. But the real friends never really went away. Feel free to write to me. Good luck! Annie

thanks for the replys, i am seeing a physciatrist (sp) he doesn't help much, but maybe that is me not letting him into my word too much because i don't know who i can trust espesccialy who is connected to the miltary, but i am feelin better today so i guess thats a good thing
nikki

Welcome Nikki,

You are not worthless, I have bi polar and have for years. I also see a Psychiatrist. At times It may seem as if the medications are not working, especially some of the anti depressants as some can take up to 3 weeks before the full dose is in your system. I have had to learn thorough time that sometimes the first combination does indeed not work, that is when It is nice to have a place like this to get support during the time between the medication changes and the time it somtimes takes to get the right combination of medications to lesson the symptoms of the illness to where you feel better and are able to function as you once did. Don't give up, I have many of the same feelings as you described and at times it can seem to be overwhelming. Just be patient, and keep up the hope. Wishing you better tomorrow's

Take Care,
Kris

I wish you the best, and the hope for a better day for us all, in out struggles no matter how large or small I wish hope for us all

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

I just want to welcome you, nikki. There are a lot of understanding and supportive people here, and you have already met some of them! I am glad you are feeling better today, and I hope tomorrow is a good day for you too. I think that a lot of us here can relate ...

Take care,
Fuzzy