[Irine]

i live near my school with a roomate who has a boyfriend in USA. today she told me he is going to come back here to live with her, and since it`s not comfortable for her to live 3 on 1 small department -she wants me to move out, untill september, although i looked at that documnet and there was untill august.

she said she is going to help me with it if i will do
i must say that i feel on one hand some pressur e and tenssion and such..i am not used to arguments and don`t understand much in all that.

my old friend told me that in this city it`s HARD to find a department and she knows it and that she is trying to check it out. i asked her "and what if i say i don`t want to live?"
she said that she doesn`t know what she does them.
i said i wanted this department too.

ho MY GOD i feel life is challaning me to move forwards in a horrible speed. i hope i will be strong in this case, becasue what can i do. i a malone nd they are 2 and SHE wants the case. my T told me that i shouldn`t let my nice self to take cotrol.

what do you guys think about it all ? about HER?
to tell the truth- if i were her i sould either find myself another place to live or to let us be 3.
but that`s ME.

[(JD)]

You have the right to stay according to the contract? Then, unless other arrangements -by her - are made and it's worth your while to move out sooner, stay there. But that's still not long in the future...hopefully you are looking for a place anyway? Her coming back early might be a God-send, in that SHE will find you the place to live that you haven't been able to find for yourself yet???? Good wishes!

[AlteredState01]

That's BS!!! If she wants to change the rules, she should leave (unless of course, she is the only one named on the lease).

But, then again, if she is willing to pay to relocate you, and you can find a suitable place (I like a change once in a while, though), then let her pay - for ALL of it!

Oh, I feel for you, ladymacabeth. This is a situation that really requires alot of tact in negotiating a compromise. I do think your T is right, however, if you are prone to accepting things to accomodate others all the time, most especially if you are always on the "losing end of the deal" and that trample on your rights.

Stay strong!

[Irine]

thank you guys so much!

the contract is for both of us to live here untill 1/8/07
or according to the amarican date numbers 8/1/07
and then we are free each one of us-to leave or to stay, if we can pay.

ho Sky! you have a very interesting idea, thought i don`t see her paying me.

now that i think of it we will have to talk about it with that woman who ownes (?) the house.

you see, we can stay here for as long as we want-and this is the great advantege of this place because i have to stude for another 2 years, and lots of places let you rent it for 4. moths, 6 moths...i need it for at least a year.

((((((Altered)))))))
thank you so much! i really needed sympathy.

BUT WHY THE HECK SHOULD I BOTHER about it??
that`s what i want to tell her becasue it seems to me she is getting tough with me. she was a very nice girl. but today i told her that i think that shice it`s HER boyfriend, HER plan-
she has to deal with that problem on her own.

and what do you think she said?
"but i don`t want to live here 3 ppl i don`t want to move out i want to live here with only with him."

heck does that ***** understand....maybe i should say
" i don`t care what you want."
if she doesn`t undersatand. i am not here to please her. i am here to LIVE.

I AM NOT TO BLAME that her boyfriend is coming and i have nothing to do with it. i still feel disspointed in her and angry becasue i feel that she sort of trying to cick me out!

Damn %#@&#! *****. 90% meat, 6% brain and 4% concience!

[drunksunflower]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ladymacabethadmunsen said:

Damn %#@&#! *****. 90% meat, 6% brain and 4% concience!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I am sorry ... I have to giggle at that!!!

Good luck with your situation

[Irine]

i am glad you founf it funny. you have to see her..
damn, i am becoming evil.

i should remember not to hate so much and not to get reallu angry, becasue the feeling itself harms MY nerves. not hers.

[AlteredState01]

You know? This place sounds more ideal for you than for her. Again, she is the one wanting change, so let her do the changing; don't allow her to manipulate you out of your home.

BTW, people always "seem" nice, until they can't or don't get their way. If she is "getting tough" with you, then she probably thinks you are a push-over. Even if you are, that is still no excuse for her actions. She is being totally selfish!

Her new plans SHOULD NOT include screwing your life up, simply because it is more convenient for her.

Geez, people like that really, really TICK ME OFF!!!!!!

[Irine]

yeah thank you so much Altered.
i think that she is not a bad person, and that i shouldn`t take it personal, but it is very hard from her to be..humm..she is very matirialistic.

i took that rescue remedy-against nerves-again today. from th every morning. i think of what will happen if she talks to the owner of this department and she will say that THEY should stay and not me. i think that she doesn`t care....anyway.

i want to tell her that i am personally very dissapointed in her behaviour. and that i agreed to almost everything, and she brought all the furniture, and stuff for the kitchen..everythig. and always decorating and doing something in this department. she loves it so much. i guess she feels she is the mistress here.

a "push over" is some1 who is easliy taken advantage of?
-yes! that was me but no more. a week or 2 ago a started realizing a few think about this world, about the human nature... about MYSELF.

"my soul was searching, reaching for something
i`ve seen my true self ....." (soil)

anyways what SHUOULD``t happen is that i am bothered so much from this situation, afraid, confused, angry, nervous, haveing stress-i CAN`T efford ths- i have no time.
now if i think of sympathy and nice words and start taking
about it and taking pity on myself it will drive me insane, into being a victim. of this sttuaiton, and waste time on emotions again! and i have A LOT of homework projects to do! i have no time fro crying, trembling, sitting alone and thinking..

lol deep inside i feel alittle bad for refusing her. but what the heck. i don`t have to let her kick me out of here. it`s disgusting. i am angry right now but i have to go calm down somehow. i don`t have to suffer from this, it happenes only if i let myself get spoilt
"ho ho ho poor me" - %#@&#! THAT!
i am not a victim i am a creator. i need to creat myself different.

[Wants2Fly]

I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Feeling angry and upset is not the best emotional situation to be in to negotiate with her.

As Sky noted, if your name is on the lease, it is legally your home, and there is not a thing that your roomie can do to force you to leave before the move-out date.

The next step is to decide what is best for you. Do you want to continue living with a couple who do not want you there? Do you want them to leave, and you will find new roommates? Do you prefer to move? Is there a way to negotiate all three of you living there? Those seem to be the basic choices, and you are going to have to get used to one of them.

You also need to find out if she has signed an independent lease with the landlady starting in September. If your roommate has done that behind your back, then you are going to have to move out. You also can approach the landlord, sign a lease on your own, and start looking for roommates.

I agree that your roommate ethically owes you financial help to find a new place, if that's what she wants you to do and you agree that is the best choice for you. However, an ethical obligation is not the same as a legal obligation.

You might point out that she owes you whatever part of the expenses you would pay if you move out sooner rather than later, as well as a refund of your security deposit, but I really don't see how you can get her to pay more than that if she simply doesn't want to do so.

Again, Lady M, I am sorry that this is happening to you.

[Irine]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Wants2Fly said:

Again, Lady M, I am sorry that this is happening to you.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

you don`t have to be sorry
i am not that bad....
thanks you .

well, i think that she is more logial now an looks like she calmed down. she didn`t do anything behind my back.
she just wanted me out. maybe now she understands.

i`ll see. anyways, if she moves out i am going to take HER big room!

[AlteredState01]

Good points, W2F!

That is a good idea. Talk to your landlord asap and explain the situation as it is - oh, and without prejudice (That is very important). Leave the emotions completely out of it. This is a business deal only, remember. Being emotional will not help your position in any way.

It may be that your landlord may have to decide who gets the place. Do not be afraid to "sell" your position to the landlord (meaning, they may be more apt to allow you to have the apartment because of your need and intention to stay as long as you have mentioned (landlords LOVE long-term tenants). Be as positive as you can about yourself and about your apartment/neighbourhood. Do not belie your roomate (that's just tacky and childish), just explain the situation as it exists. The facts that you state here screams unfairness, and people tend to respond quickly and deeply, just as you (and we) did.

If you contact your landlord independently, keep it to yourself. Your roommate need not know about it and it will likely create more tension even before any changes take place.

Keep us posted, ok?

AS

[Irine]

thanks you all!

ho NOW thsituation is getting tough about another subject.
she told me today that chances are her boyfriend will come live with us. now what do you think she wants?

you know now we pay rent about 270$ per moth each one of us. now, she says that when her boyfreind comes, becasue she is going to have less comfort-and less room for herself, each one of them will pay to the landlord 135$ and i keep paying 270$!

WHAT THE %#@&#!?

at the end she saasy
"i will pay ANY price the landlord will say. even if it`s 400$ more. and i understand that she is just trying to scare me.
we are also having some..builidng..something that they fix there in the building, and she says that becasue of this the landlord will take more money for the rent! and also becasue the dolare...woth less now (?)
my Dad told me that it`s ********. and ever the dolar won`t make that much of a difference. i started talking about the positive things that-finally maybe this building won`t collapse ;-) it really old. she said "no only negative this will bring" and it surprizez me with this passimism.

DON`T YOU GUYSTHINK SHE IS JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME LEAVE??
i am not a fool, sorry.

if she talks to me again about this i will throw it in her %#@&#! face. i will tell her that she doens`t have to try to be "smart" with me. i know exactly what it`s all about.

damn i am %#@&#! frustrated. leave me alone you damn *****.

i agree about the emotional thins-i won`t talk about bussiness with motion-but i think that the landlord doesn`t care how she gets the mooney. so i don`t think she will interfare in this case.

you know, sometime i feel like movin to a new place right now so that no %#@&#! roomates will bother me with their ********. that`s it.

[seeker1950]

Lady...Wants2fly gave great and balanced suggestions.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, and it sounds like finding another place would create a real hardship for you.
I personally would not want to live with a couple who clearly didn't want me there, but it also seems unfair for your roommate to put you in this position.
Patty

[Irine]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
seeker1950 said:
, but it also seems unfair for your roommate to put you in this position.
Patty

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

thank you.

well, you know what, i think i won`t LET her put me in any position.

now it`s a quesiton about money. she is just trying to take advantage of me.

[seeker1950]

When reading your posts, one thing which came to my mind is that the female roommate may feel insecure and threatened by the presence of another female in the living situation, as she tries to establish this relationship with the man. Still unfair to you, needing a place to live, but she might feel very insecure and threatened by your presence.
Also, if this is the case, rather than kicking you out, she and he should look for another place, since this is none of your doing, and you have stated that finding housing is difficult in your location (where are you?).
In my own personal mindset, I'd feel whipped and just start looking for another place to live...having let people run over me like that most of my life ! Also, not wanting to try to live in an adversarial situation where I clearly wasn't wanted. Too bad your roommate doesn't feel safe living with three.
Patty

[Irine]

well, you know i git so frustrated i actually thought about leaving threr, it`s just moch more insecutr. but fiding a place to live alone. wothout any stupid roo mates

but it won`t be the last time in my life to deal with people....
i have to do it.

i am not in USA....