something to live by

something I was taught as a child that has stuck with me all my life.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.
not do unto others before they do unto you.

I think that one thing has made me the person I am today. I try my best to treat everyone with respect and compassion although at times it is very difficult.

((Bebop)))) "treat others as you want to be treated"

we can actually manifest what we seek by choosing it for ourselves first, even tho it may not feel genuine at first, thru trial and error, we learn the ropes of being...

when we treat others as we wish to be treated, we are training them to accept us as we are in the current moment and our behavior exemplifies that which we wish to create...

treating others as we wish to be treated is the active part of creating boundaries.. it is in how we treat others that we speak most loudly about the person we are within ourselves...

you are always kind and caring Bebop... many blessings to you...

Indeed words to live by! great post Bebop!

(((bebop))))))))))))))
"Treat others the way you want to be treated.
not do unto others before they do unto you."

such a good statement ((TY))

I like this....good stuff.
Thank you.

It is a good paraphrase of the do unto others what you would have them do unto you. (Which is awkward eh?)

Unfortunately, many mentally ill people don't respond the same way, even if you leave them alone wishing for the same.
But at least if you do your best, then you can have no regrets and no confessions of guilt to make.

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_Sky said:
It is a good paraphrase of the do unto others what you would have them do unto you. (Which is awkward eh?)

Unfortunately, many mentally ill people don't respond the same way, even if you leave them alone wishing for the same.
But at least if you do your best, then you can have no regrets and no confessions of guilt to make.

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(((((((sky)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I find the compassion to be really uplifting at times..........
I think we are all finding our way or path in life..
we all may respond differently because we are differnt
Everyone in the world is
THats what makes it a beatiful world....
All the different kinds of ppl
I think we all do our best........
Little story. Many years ago where i lived ppl were in a not good enviroment. Many were ill((sicknesses))) ((cancer and other sorts)))
It was a very hard time for all. Out of that hard time came compassion. love for one another and peace.........
The caring for one another became so great and still goes on....
That was 30 years ago today.........
ALways hope . always peace out there always kindness...
With everyone no matter what the illness maybe
Hope this was ok to write.
I just see so many caring ppl here....................
Makes me smile.
Ty ((bebop)))
muffy

(((((muffy and her rose-colored glasses))))) may they always serve you well hon.

LOL Sky - can you see me circling Muffy? Didn't know it was also called "Ring Around the Muffy"

I don't think it's about mimicking actions and behavior. Treating others as you would have them treat you means to me: To show others the same respect and dignity you would want to have shown to you.

Not sure about mimicking, but modeling good behavior... I think part of my point, which you helped make, is that those who are unwell mentally don't always get your point, and tend to demand better behavior from others in public than what they show you even in private. I guess in the non-mental health support world it's considered hypocrisy, however in this realm here it's disordered behavior. Whether everyone is doing their best is not up to me to determine, but to think everyone is, well, that's a stretch. It is a good thought though, unrealistic, but good.

unrealistic? I don't think so. I have lived it all my life. I learned too that if I don't like something someone says just to let it go. keeps down arguing and keeps the peace. I don't agree with everyone. I just don't say alot when I don't agree.

Isn't the world in disorder for everyone at one time or another? I don't think people are doing their best to be good everyday, but I suspect everyone does their best to make it through the day - in one way or another. If they weren't, they wouldn't bother waking up every day.

Ummm... I'm so tempted to stay out of this one! But...

We are talking about the Golden Rule here. As far as I know, it's been around for at least 2000 years. People have tried living it for that long. People have also interpreted it to their own purposes or simply understand it in different ways. Regardless, it's a good way to try to live.

If someone misses the mark, it's because we are all human and given to imperfections of all kinds. It's wrong to believe that we can hit the mark every time. Wouldn't that be a mental illness, too, BTW?

All we can do is try our best in everything. If we blow it, we know that if we ask, God will forgive. If we ask, He'll help us do better next time.

Do I hear an "Amen"?

Bebop, my "unrealistic" came from the thought that everyone is doing their best all the time, not that you or I can't try to do our best all the time.

Best doesn't mean perfection, which, yes, would be a disorder imo.

It's quite obvious that everyone doesn't do their best all the time. If we really believed that, none of us would be here encouraging others, would we? We would be thinking that everyone is already doing their best, so I have nothing to offer and they really don't need my advice nor encouragement..or something along those lines. I think you can get my point.

If I were to accept that everyone does their best all the time, then that would surely change my perspective of people when they act out such as sending nasty grams etc. I would have to just leave them be to their own devices, in the truest sense of the idea. That means don't communicate with them at all, just totally ignore them. If that's their best, why bother hoping for better? imo.

It's philosophical I guess.

It can be a great thing to live by, yes indeed. It can also be very difficult when others don't treat you well, without cause. At least if you give them a cause you can get into the self blame game and make an excuse for the ill treatment, which really isn't deserved either is it? I mean, wouldn't we have to accept that that is the best they can do also?

I try to understand where someone's coming from, really. And right now I know a few readers are going, yeah right. See? Is that the best they can think?

So when we say do unto others... that includes our thoughts and speech as well as our actions. Sometimes it's good to not be so invested in someone else that you don't have to let them matter to you. But such as here, if I didn't wish others to understand where I'm coming from, why would I be here at all? Isn't my presence here to give support and encouragement through my own knowledge (whether experiential or text book?) If I present something that is taken from the "wrong" perspective than I planned it, would it be proper to just walk away. Why post at all then? Is that the best I can do?



Yes, I let alot go... much more than ever before. My mantra? <font color="purple">[b]Your opinion of me is none of my business.

"Your opinion of me is none of my business."

My neighbor has told me that a couple of times. It just WRANKLES in me!! I think the oppinion of others needs to be important to us to a degree. How else do we know how we come across to others?

"Sometimes it's good to not be so invested in someone else that you don't have to let them matter to you."

I guess that would depend on who the "someone" is. Would that go along with my by-line of "Consider the source... and then forget it"? Maybe it's my own insecurities, but in reading that, I felt like asking "Does that include ME, too?" (Retorical question. Don't answer that. I really don't want to know for absolute certain. )

I think we're on the same page. The operative word is HAVE.. you don't have to let them matter. Caring for people should be a choice, don't you think.

But, by living by this golden rule, if I am doing my best, and I know this, and with God as my guide, then how others perceive me isn't about me anyway, right? People's opinions of me, while appreciated if positive, aren't really my business, it's theirs.

"People's opinions of me, while appreciated if positive, aren't really my business, it's theirs."

Except that I've learned to correct some things about me that upset others by stopping and thinking when given critizism.

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_Sky said:
My mantra? <font color="purple">[b]Your opinion of me is none of my business.

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Ahh, this is where we differ. The opinions of other people matter to me. I like to know who hates me and why. It cuts down on the garbage that is thrown at me for no apparent reason at all. There is always a reason.

Would it matter to you if I said I liked you and hope you stay? You contribute some great things to think about, and it's fun to be able to talk with you about the items you present to this forum.

We all enjoy being appreciated. However, I need to stay because of who I am and what decisions I make and what I can contribute, not because someone else wishes me to. The two might not be mutually exclusive though.

But this is about living the golden rule... and if I'm doing my best, it doesn't matter what reasons others have to not like how I'm doing it. That's up to them and their own perspectives. No one can climb into your skin and understand you fully, nor I anyone else. I find the mantra quite therapeutic and rational, as do my colleagues.

I just wish more people tried at least to live by the "golden rule". it would make life so much better for everyone. not talking just here at pc but in the world in general.

I have a cousin that never thinks before she says anything. it doesn't matter to her what she says that might hurt someones feelings. I guess that is more on the lines of my thinking. I was hurt badly as a child by other peoples comments. I was very skinny and called names because of that. I had buck teeth and made fun of for that. the list goes on and on. maybe this sheds a little light on my thinking right now.

It's tough to grow up without affirmations...at least enough to counter the disrespect from other children.

The problem, basically, is that not everyone does try to live by the golden rule. It's really a two-way endeavor. When others don't, it doesn't do us any good to give up trying to live by it too...but it doesn't have the effect we may 'need' or 'expect' when it's only one way.

But how are we to know? How can we know that what that child said to us wasn't the best she could do for what she was living under or with? It's quite a dilemma, imo. That takes me back to Dershowitz' book The Abuse Excuse. Just because someone was abused, does that give them an "excuse" to abuse another? How can we judge such a thing? Are they doing the best they can, because that's what they learned?

Expectation of others can get us into trouble, imo. That goes back to my mantra. If I'm not concerned with other people's opinion, but continue to do my best regardless...then my life is in good shape.

that is something I have really had to learn lately. to not expect anything from anyone. but I will continue not matter what to treat others the way I want to be treated. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

Exactly.

Amen to that!

If "we" live by the Golden Rule then our conscience is clear. At least we know that we are doing our best in the eyes of God... and for ourselves.

We can live the example, but we can't make others follow our example. If others don't do their best, then it's their problem. If we think that others aren't doing their best, then we are judging others. That's not our job, it's God's job. Our job is to be as caring and understanding as we can be but we don't have to keep butting our heads against the same brick wall until we're bloodied.