[SeptemberMorn]

to the old saying and to the truth that used to be held in the words "Blood runs thicker than water"?

Now it seems that if you're blood kin, that's as good as any excuse to hurt those whose same blood runs in their veins as yours.

This is from past experience... not anything recent.

Blood runs thicker than water is a myth.. I'm sorry...

[SeptemberMorn]

It didn't used to be. It is now. It's too sad.

[Noncomposmentis8]

Hmmm, I never believed that. And it makes no sence to me.

[sassypants]

I always believed in that, But now that I am older I realize
it is not true. It is really sad.

[SeptemberMorn]

I've seen it work... only not in my immediate family.

Do you believe it could be cultural?

[Maven]

I've seen lots of betrayal among family members (my own and others) all my life. I don't think it "used to be" true; I think it never was.

[Bethsway]

It is too sad that we are hurt by the ones that should be closest to us...I don't know how that changed over the years!

[SeptemberMorn]

Like I said, I've seen it work in my extended family, but when the matriarch of that nucleus died, everything went to heck. They knew how to close ranks when it was needed, they supported each other in whatever. Not even extended family could get in after the ranks were closed.

I caught a small glimpse of it on July 4th, when a member of the family didn't understand the importance of the "family reunion." My oldest son closed the ranks for us. I'm not sure that the aftermath is worth it, though, because he and I are the only ones that think and feel that way. Doesn't work too good when the family consists of two parents, four siblings two in-laws and nine grandkids. There's always fallout. Betrayal! Oh yeah! Tell me about it!

So now you know where I'm coming from... sorta...

[nothemama8]

hey Septi, don't forget blood clots and needs to be removed to keep one healthy, Dearheart get rid of those clots before they do real damage, ( I have picked you as my family and dare anyone to try and stop our relationship, (hoping this is being read)
Love ya
Angie

[SeptemberMorn]

It's not MY blood clot that I can get rid of it, Sweety.

You got me puzzled! Who would dare tell Marie that she and I can't be friends??? Or you and I for that matter??? Nah... I don't think so. We're two old tough broads, remember?

[eskielover]

I never believed that myth anyway. It always seemed like it would be nice to have a close family or that family would always be there when you needed something, but being in a very tiny family, there wasn't much family around anyway to even wish to depend on.

What I realized a long time ago was that family is what you are born into & that doesn't mean that the person is even one that you would choose to be friends with just because they were part of the family. Even parents aren't our choice.....& it doesn't mean just because we were born to them that they would actually be our choice of people to want to be with.

I think it is important to surround ourselves with the people who we enjoy being with & who bring out the best in us......why surround ourselves with people who make us miserable just because they are "family"????? I can't force myself to like someone just because they are family....& I sure don't want to be miserable because I "should like them because they are family". I am alone now that my Mother died. I have distant relatives who are definitely very nice people & I do like being around them, but we aren't close.

I have met people here in Kentucky that care a lot more & are much kinder than family ever thought of being. It is great to choose those you want to be around, those that bring out the best in you & not your anger. There are frustrating things in life that cause us anger enough that we don't need family adding to that.

Being an only child, my only ability to have people around me were the friends I choose & I kept those to only the ones I really enjoyed being around. I never had the blood thing going, but also never understood why people make themselves miserable trying to force themselves to be around people just because they were "family"?

Surround yourself with people who you like & those who like you & it seems to me that life can be pretty wonderful then. I always backed away from family when they got wierd. My grandmother could be very nasty & I refused to cater to her just because she was family. I was there when she was sick & made sure that she was taken care of when she was Dx'ed with altzheimers........but when I was young & she was mean to my Mother (her daughter).....I was the first one to tell her knock it off & put her in her place. I wouldn't put up with her just because she was family....& I learned that I was respected more for standing up for what I knew was right rather that tolerating the crap that was being handed out.

My personal view on family ties,
Debbie

[SeptemberMorn]

Debbie, you're right. It's just tough to swallow, especially when it's your kids.

I was the only child, too. Maybe that's why I wanted a large family. It sure didn't work out like I thought it would.

I'll work myself out if this hole yet.

[eskielover]

Tomi,
I know it is rough especially when you have pre-conceived expectations of what a family will be like especially since you were an only child like me & really didn't know what a large family would even be like.

I know for me, it is hard to change my feelings when I have held onto certain expectations (like my expectations of what a marriage should be like). I have a hard time letting go of the expectations that I have had all my life....& honestly, sometimes, I don't want to change those expectations....which makes life even harder....but it seems to me that if I don't want to change my expectations, then I have to walk away from the situation.....neither choice is easy.

Hope things work out for you....in time,
Debbie

[SeptemberMorn]

I know, Debbie, but my extended family was HUGE! One aunt had 8 surviving kids, the other had 5 daughters. Maybe that's what I'm going on. Can you imagine the family my oldest aunt had with 8 kids?? The in-laws and the grandkids!! When she passed the entire funeral chapel was filled with family.

Maybe if I open my eyes and realize how dysfunctional they all were, I'll be able to let go of my expectations. It's sure a struggle, though! I'm still never as happy as I am when my house is full of my family.

[mrb020377]

well tomi i know this may not help out alot but you can be my mom any time you want! i love you!