[scrappyorange]

Hello, everyone!

I have some questions that I've been wondering about for a quite some time.

That is - do you have anyone in your life that you can talk pretty much anything with? This someone knows your whole story, and you can talk about your issues, secrets, about your mental health and, so on and so forth? This person doesn't judge you and geneuinely cares about you. (Other than your therapist that is)

If yes, do you think by having this person in your life you can cope a little better with you issues?

If no, do you wish to have someone like that? And, do you feel like if you had someone like that in your life, your problems that you are going through right now will be a bit better somehow?

I know this is a bit weird questions to ask... but I wanted to know your thoughts about it!

In my case, I don't really have anyone that I can talk every emotion, my deepest sorrows and secrets with. My family and I are close (don't have any siblings) but there are things I am not really open to talking about it with them. I do have a few friends but then again, although they do know bits and pieces of my life but they hardly know me as a whole.

Whenever I am going through something, I try to solve it myself. I am not religious per say but I do like studying about them and spirituality so I tend to seek comfort from those.

I have never seen a therapist before so I am not quite sure how the process works but I have thought about seeing them as I really have no one I can talk about my problems with. I know that having someone in your life that you can talk to about any and everything without being judged and really caring about your well being and having a good therapist that you can rely on are two different things but what is your take on this? ( And, if you have an experience seeing a therapist, I greatly appreciate it if you can tell me how the process works!)

Thanks and looking forward to seeing your replies )

I would say it's quite common to have a selection of people who you discuss different issues with, different friends/family bring different things to out lives so that is natural.

Mostly I would say I am the same in that I don't tell everybody everything.

I do tell my husband just about everything, he can be helpful sometimes, but other times although I confide in him in it's actually other people in my life who are better equipped to understand. I don't think it's realistic for one person to understand everything.

I have seen a therapist in the past, it was a positive experience for me, it's different to a good friend in that they are much more objective and applying techniques to your conversation. Also it's not 'two way' - in the way a friend would be telling you about their life too and you would be giving them input on their stuff. Tbh I found that aspect awkward - I don't like talking about myself all the time and that's pretty much what therapy is, so there were a lot of silences in our sessions. Lol. I still recommend it though, because unlike a friend you don't have to worry something you disclose may ruin the friendship.

Hope that's helpful to you.

[DirtyPaws]

Hi ScrappyOrange, (Cool name!)

I'm lucky because I've had my fiancee since 2011, and there is very little that we don't talk about. I've also been lucky enough to have had some good therapists and psych docs on and off over the last 30 yrs, and even a pretty awesome JR High School social worker that took a special interest in me. Don't get me wrong, there have been bad ones along the way and even some long periods with no one at all.

I don't know what's available to you in Japan, but you have found Psych Central, at least, and no matter what other help you find (or not), the people here are a HUGE PLUS!

Sent from my XT1045 using Tapatalk

[Lost_in_the_woods]

I tend to be overly honest...so for me it is more a problem of figuring out what I should/should not share and with whom....

[TiredPilgrim]

My answer is 'different strokes for different folks'.
Some people have several friends and they may confide a little bit in each one.
Some people (like me) have one best friend they tell everything to.
It depends on what is healthy and balanced for you and your personality.
There is no 'right or wrong' answer.
It depends on what is healthy for you.

just my therapist. because of my high profile i have to be careful what i say to whom. rumors spread fast. i have to be careful.

[TheMaverick]

My boyfriend. I think I can tell him anything. It's a blessing, really.

Originally Posted by scrappyorange

Hello, everyone!

I have some questions that I've been wondering about for a quite some time.

That is - do you have anyone in your life that you can talk pretty much anything with? This someone knows your whole story, and you can talk about your issues, secrets, about your mental health and, so on and so forth? This person doesn't judge you and geneuinely cares about you. (Other than your therapist that is)

If yes, do you think by having this person in your life you can cope a little better with you?

Hi,

Yes, absolutely as to both questions. Im very fortunate. We've been together for several years and met at a local bipolar support group.

I can talk to my partner about all you describe above. And vice-versa. We are both divorced. It took me awhile to actually fully open up to him because my marriage was very unhealthy with no support and little communication.

But definitely 110% yes to both of your questions. In fact, tonight he kissed me and just out of the blue said, "I have no secrets from you." I completely trust him.

He completely accepts himself and full transparency is natural to him. Like I said, it took me a couple of years to not hold anything back due to my past (which he knows all about).

I am taking a break from therapy but saw a good T for years that I trusted. Yet, I didn't fully disclose like I do with my partner. I was married during that period of therapy and disclosed a lot, but not all like I do with my partner.

The fact that we both have bipolar disorder has helped us understand each other. It's a horrible disease but neither of us would make it so we never had it...because we wouldn't have met otherwise. I never realized a relationship like ours and like describe was possible...until we met.

Is life perfect? Nope. But it's awesome, too, and we are so happy. I call him "my Ever." I'm so grateful. He feels the same.

Sorry if I went on too much....

[Sabrina]

My husband. He does not really understand mental illness - he is incredibly mentally strong. Sometimes, I just know in my heart that he sees mental illness as a sign of weakness. But here I am. He survived my suicide attempts with me. Was with me as I went to sleep for each and every ECT session. And stood by me every step of the way throughout my alcoholism and when I quit. He gets confused and impatient at times, but he has never left my side. Haven't had a panic attack in a while, but he would always gently talk me through them, reminding me to breath. Almost 16 years now he has supported me. There are probably some really deeper issues that I don't tell him, or anyone, but he is my best friend, soul mate and confidant. I tell him virtually everything. I am completely and utterly blessed to have him in my life. I love him unconditionally. He has helped mold me into the depression free person I am today. I don't think I could have done it without him.

[sugahorse1]

Listening to your stories, I think I probably do not open up to my therapist as much as I could/should.

I also have different people I talk to for different reasons. But there is one friend that really stands out that I guess I can talk to about anything. It helps that she has mental health issues of her own, but otherwise she knows everythign about me or will listen objectively and not judge. We just live 1600km apart, so we never talk face to face anymore.

[scrappyorange]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Hi,

Yes, absolutely as to both questions. Im very fortunate. We've been together for several years and met at a local bipolar support group.

I can talk to my partner about all you describe above. And vice-versa. We are both divorced. It took me awhile to actually fully open up to him because my marriage was very unhealthy with no support and little communication.

But definitely 110% yes to both of your questions. In fact, tonight he kissed me and just out of the blue said, "I have no secrets from you." I completely trust him.

He completely accepts himself and full transparency is natural to him. Like I said, it took me a couple of years to not hold anything back due to my past (which he knows all about).

I am taking a break from therapy but saw a good T for years that I trusted. Yet, I didn't fully disclose like I do with my partner. I was married during that period of therapy and disclosed a lot, but not all like I do with my partner.

The fact that we both have bipolar disorder has helped us understand each other. It's a horrible disease but neither of us would make it so we never had it...because we wouldn't have met otherwise. I never realized a relationship like ours and like describe was possible...until we met.

Is life perfect? Nope. But it's awesome, too, and we are so happy. I call him "my Ever." I'm so grateful. He feels the same.

Sorry if I went on too much....

Thanks for sharing your story! I wish I could find someone like that in the future

yes, absolutely

[-jimi-]

I tell different people different things. When I was newer with my best friend I was very honest with her. As we grew into this symbiotic mess, I started to feel she is to close to know everything about me. I still tell most things but many times I shave off the severity and the emotion. It feels weird now telling her sensitive stuff.

I had three online friends whom I shared a lot with, long term friends. I didn't share exactly the same stuff but I felt the info was in good hands. One of them died, one went offline due to a sort of life crisis and one isn't on much anymore.

I am still very grateful they chose to be close friends to me.

I have a newish friend who really overshares. I have told her it is usually not "normal" to do what she does, but I'm not normal so with me it is OK. But I don't think she understands totally that it is not the ideal to be able to share everything with everyone. She feels that is how all friendships should be. That you tell that person everything, and I mean everything.

I don't even feel honored being trusted like this. Not even when I looked for "soulmates" in a pre Internet era, when I wanted to talk about everything, I think I really meant everything. I think I just meant talking about deep stuff in general.

I've never been friendless. I have always managed to find interesting people and a selected few to talk about things with.

no.
i suppose i could say yes.. i could just post on this site, but not in real outside life no

sucks

[BlueEyedMama]

I know that I can share everything with my spouse and for the most part I have. He is a wonderful and strong man who has been my best friend, partner in life and supportive of me for the past 18 years. The one exception is I don't go into details about my child hood abuse by my uncle. He knows of it and knows I get nightmares and flashbacks but I don't want to burden him with the details so I save that for therapy. That said I can't picture my life without him and I respect and appreciate the openness of our marriage where we always got each other's backs and support one another through the good times and the not so good times.

[notz]

I have always been able to share with spouse. I had a pdoc for 14 years who knew just about everything and I highly trusted and respected her but she retired. I had a friendship blossom that started on PC and we were very close and spoke of many things for a little over a year. She found a lover and that was the end of that. I don't share much with my new pdoc, she's only good for meds. I do share a little with my oldest sister but basically it's just me and spouse again.

[therapyishelping777]

I have my best friend and I can talk to her about everything and anything.. and my therapist, I am getting to a better point with, it takes time to build trust and let the walls come down, but I think he is safe... I also go to a support group, dealing with different emotions, and that is really an amazing outlet to realize in a group of peers you can be safe and not judged and talk about anything..

[Brian32]

I used to live by a certain code, one of them were "Never give anyone anything that they can use against you" Since recently being diagnosed I have come to get rid of such a childish code, other humans are one of the most important parts of life. I have been married now for 5 years and it has shook me to my core on how understanding another human could be so caring for me, my wife has Todally stepped up in helping me own my disabilities, and as much as it breaks my heart mental illness has brought us closer together and I look at her in a totally different light. There are going to be those who will show you their true colours when you open up to them, like has happened to me, but I am in a way relieved because I am glad I know so I could expell them from my life. I used to fear about what others thought, but since opening up and sharing it has definitely helped me in my situation and I can finally start working on me again, hope this helps in some small way, signed one who understands.