How did coming out of depression feel?

I am pulling out of an18-month depression.

I recently got a new job, which is a big deal, because for months and months I was barely functional.

Have you pulled out of a depression, and how did it feel? I might add...I am not on medications as anti-depressants don't work for me.

I seem to have two types of feelings now. The first is a kind of numbness. I am going through the motions but I feel detached...almost half-dead.

The second is overwhelming sadness about not being able to be happy. I miss being happy. Like when I see Christmas lights at night I want to be happy but instead I feel sad. Like I could burst out crying. So I try to ignore everything that makes me feel like that.

It seems like I have up-leveled from severe depression to severe sadness. I don't know if this is normal when coming out of a long depression. Most everything that once made me happy holds little interest for me now...but oddly I miss having interests. For example, I haven't listened to music for two years. Before this I was a music lover and have a vast collection of music. But I don't listen to any music now.

here in my location coming out of depression means depression problems are no longer hard example the sadness is no longer so sad, the anxiety is no longer at panic and constant worry stage. everything is starting to be ok again. usually Im also a bit happier, and my problems dont feel so bad. the numbness is usually gone and I am starting to be able to feel again, being able to participate in my life to its fullest again.

my suggestion is talk with your treatment providers they will explain to you what depression and coming out of it is and how things get easier as the depression lifts, if things are not getting lighter and easier maybe they can help you to discover why you are still numb, sad and crying (depression disorder symptoms) even when you feel you are not in depression any more. it might be that there is something else going on or even a medical problem that they can help you with.

I just had a well visit with my doctor. With lifestyle change I am no longer prediabetic. I have signed up to do a half marathon and am beginning to train. I just started a new job. From the outside it look like I am improving but it does not feel that way on the inside.

I think I need to connect with a counselor and try to get some on-going treatment.

Although I am functioning better I don't feel happy. I don't care about anything and do not care about my existence. However, my anxiety feels a little less with higher functioning. That's about all.

Hi

I feel I may be in a similar place to you. I too think that I have come out of or am coming out of a lengthy depressive episode & whilst I have had counselling medication wasn't part of the picture.

My experience is similar to your own. I feel I am functionin better. I no longer feel I can't cope at work/home, I am less likely to break down in tears, I don't have the intrusive self harm/suicidal thoughts. But...I know my emotions have not returned to normal. I don't have the right feelings in situations or for people I should have feelings for. Sometimes I kind of feel something but I describe it as a bit like when you're trying to think of a word & it's on the tip of your tongue, but you can't quite get it? My feelings work like that sometimes like I can feel it stirring but it doesn't reach where it needs to for me to experience it properly.

I still get random panic attacks & I sometimes something will trigger me to cry but it's not the same level of hopelessness & despair.

I still find it hard to do things that should be easy but I can't quite face them & I still sometimes have to make myself make contact with others or take phonecards from family.

I'm not sure I've captured it all really. But in short I feel I think similar to you. Things are better. Manageable. But I'm aware they're not entirely right & some days I feel a slip backwards but have come back again.

I hope this helps a little?

I'm in the same boat as the two of you as far as feeling like I've come out of the worst, but I'm still struggling with apathy. I've been worried that something has just permanently changed and I'll never be the same, that this is the new normal. There are some differences: I am on meds and I haven't been able to get myself back in therapy yet, let alone do anything else for myself.

Although, I can't imagine training for a half marathon while at the same time not caring about my existence. That's miraculous in & of itself to me.

Thanks for that Yours Truly. I must admit I too have wondered whether the emotional aspect is permanent. I think I'm afraid that I've felt detached & numb for so long that my body/mind has forgotten how else to be. I am trying to be encouraged that even a few months ago I would not even have felt the stirrings of some emotional feelings. The fact that I sometimes get that now I'm trying to view as another step forward.

Sometimes I also wonder whether I'm subconsciously stopping myself from feeling emotions because I no longer feel like I know what to do if I felt them...that sounds very odd I know. I'm struggling to convey the thoughts in my head.