Why can't I do anything right?

(((hug))) WHO is judging you?

Ok professionally what you are doing is called "catastrophizing"... indicated by the can't never don't nothings that you use and feel like.

But you just posted your feelings and desires very well in that post! So you DO do things right... !!!

The good news is this is learned behavior... common in your age group because we as adults have failed you in helping you learn a better lifestyle. This is especially true for the "gimme gimme right now" attitude.

You've grown up with the instant gratification of computers and technology.

You are not expected to be anyone but yourself, and you are not expected to do anything but what you can do.

We all fall into the pits if we go about COMPARING ourselves to others. God made each one of us different (and I am sure glad of that, I would not like it if there were more than one of me, or of some people I know...and I know others agree. )

See if you can find a survey---maybe right here on PsychCentral index or homepage--- that you can take to find out what you like to do, if you like to be around people, what you're good at...for honey, we are ALL good at something!

I grew up poor but didn't know it until I had money. It was all about the attitude my parents gave the family.

I could go on about brain science and attitude and how the mind changes your environment (not just your opinion of it)... but how we can have opportunity to have what we wish ... but I won't.

One more note, when we think of accomplished people.... do you know that Einstein could only function about 4 hours a day? His brain would just shut down or cloud up or something! I learned this because due to my injury, I only get about 4-5 hours of functioning on a good day!

Start small. Work on ONE thing TODAY.. yesterday you made this great post.... now find one thing today to accomplish and then pat yourself on the back for it!

You can do this.

Not anger... my desire for self preservation.

All animals in the wild more or less screw each other over for their selfish desire for survival; the wolf eats the sheep so it doesn't starve, hyenas fight among each other to establish who is stronger, great white sharks devour each other in the womb so the strongest one emerges, ETC.

Why should humans be any different? Because we're sentient? Because we're evolved? Because we're "better" than the animals? Guess what? We're not. We're just glorified apes with higher intelligence instead of massive strength, claws, fangs, or anything else. We're not more evolved or more advanced if you will because if we were, we wouldn't have so many wars and widespread suffering in the world which could all be prevented if humans weren't so selfish.

I'm no different than any other animal; my desire for self preservation takes priority over anything else for me.

Right now it is becoming more and more clear that I won't get the help that I need as long as I reside in this state not just because the mental health system here is utterly terrible but also because people here are so freaking stupid and don't understand me. I will never fit in or be accepted as long as I reside here because I'm nothing like the vast majority of the people who live here.

I need to be ready to fight tooth and nail for my place in this world no matter the cost. If I can't do that, than I'm too weak and deserve to suffer.

Don't get me wrong, I am reading every reply that is posted on this thread and at least considering the advice given, however, if there is an easier and more effective path to victory that doesn't involve hurting anybody that is actually struggling much like myself or who has struggled in the past, I'm taking it.

That's all I'm going to say on this subject

As I said ... To give you options that dont include "screwing over others" ... then you have a choice.

If you choose the one that does involve "screwing over others" - it would simply be for anger, revenge, etc.. at that point. That was my point, sorry I made it badly.

Having a crapola day n not good with phrasings today. I will hush so I don't make things worse for you too. Just know I care.

Sorry again.

❤

There's nothing wrong with the way you made your point.

Sorry if I came off as hostile I'm not always the best at choosing my words.

I need to get myself out of the situation that I am in. My life and my choices are nobody's responsibility but my own.

I will, however, do better at listening to you in the future.

Thank you.

It's not you today, trust me - I sincerely am not trying to guilt trip you. Today I know I am off.
Thank you for the kind words though.
❤

One other thing to consider too: I am an INTJ for those of you who are familiar with Meyers Briggs personality types.

INTJs are notorious for being direct and to the point with their tones with people as well as not having their emotions influence their decisions, instead preferring to use logic and reason for everything.

So between my personality type and the fact that I have a diminished capacity for empathy due to my past makes it a constant struggle for me to not give into my "dark side" considering that I could easily do some pretty horrible things and not feel bad for it.

Another words, I know I'm wrong and I'm working on it.

Well maybe its both of us then? ❤

Typos Although "I" doubt U would wsnt to resd or listen to anything I have to say...
To answer your title's question,
U can't do anything right, for the same reasons NONE of us can.

It's not what's right or wrong in our lives, and especially not any conclusions we come to when comparing ourselves to otherd---> Happiness and success in life is solely based on how we react to things and/or how we choose to perceive ourselves (and others).

Everybody fails at some (or many) things, but those who seem happiest and most content are those who,
start trying to get something positive from their failures, instead of wasting time dwelling on and beating themselves up for it.

Btw, when responding to anybody here, I usually will try to learn sometjing about them before responding (their profile or prior posts); But today I'm not going to do that,
and instead want to suggest
a quick exercise for you to do:
--- > Count how many times you wrote "I" (or "my/me") in your post (and your other posts if you have time to).
Then ask yourself if it seems to you, # of "I's" is excessive?

Tip: There is no right or wrong answer to this exercise (number of times a person writes or says the word "I", but it sometimes provides insight into why they R feeling the way they do (perception)
I'm sure your feeling that you "can't do anything right", (that others can/do), is only your perveption, and not what others think too.

Btw, if I was more cunning, manipulative, able to lie better, and thought more about myself "I" wouldn't be in the disastrous life situation I've been stuck in for years--So everything is based on perception, and even bad personality traits, can be deemed a pisitive, when utilized wisely.
=Conclusion: I'm stupid, inferior and (also) can't do anything right-- but I'll take my own advice now, and instead of beating myself up, figure how I can change my actions in the future.
Good luck and take care of your joyful spirit, because if u don't, nobody else will, and without JOY in your LIFE , T-h-e-r-e I-S N-o-t-h-i-n-g.

I am very familiar with a personality disorder that lacks ABILITY to feel empathy (someone close to me) who I'll describe as a charming and often likable psychopath,
and the one tjing I'be learned is could never be taught to FEEL empathy,
he certainly is great at pretending he cares about someone othet than himself, but only when it would/might benefit HIM.
HE; HIS "I", is the ONLY thing that matters to HIM and his heart is a stone (can/will never change ( but he does feel JOY towards himself and his accomplishments, so I suppose, (for him) his lack of empathy is ok.

And although this may have nothing to do with how you are,
my concern was that your focus on "I" does not seem to bring you happiness or joy, but rather self- loathing.

I personally don't like to use the terms "right" or "wrong".... there are other options.. you made choices, you'll make choices in the future...hopefully ones that help you feel better.

I fail to see the point that you're trying to make.

This is my thread and the primary focus is about me, therefore, the amount of times I use "I" are in relation to what I have posted.

Similarly, if I post on a thread belonging to somebody else, it isn't about me as much as them, therefore, I use "I" less and "you", "they", or "them" more.

Anyways, debating about my so called "issues" is proving trifling. I'm off to go play my game for the rest of the night because I have a stressful week ahead of me.

Thanks all. Laters!

Except you are speaking of psychopathy, Darkness is not. Darkness lacks empathy only for a certain "set" of people, not all people. That is separate from what psychopathy is. There are more PD than just ASPD or even NPD. BPD for instance, still allows for empathy even though if is a PD.

I am not certain of what INTJ precisely is, but from my talks with Darkness in past, I can assure you, he is not trying to manipulate us - even though I am sure he is intelligent enough if he so desired. So no, psychopathy doesn't fit him.

I still know little about you, my first post was based solely on your initial post....Now that I've read a few more in this thread I feel obligated to mention that both the mental health system and people, can and often do SUCK everywhere.
Caring accessible healthcare, just like decent kind people, is the exception (based mostly on good luck) and not the rule ANYWHERE.
Trust me, I've lived and experienced life in many different places + situations, and the reality (my expectations) is often surprising (unpredictable)...
So since you're making plans for "self- preservation" I hope you realize focusing on location and "type of people THERE", etc. is certain to be setting yourself up for disappointment.
It's not that making changes (place you are or with) isn't often a good idea,
but that imaginary place where all people act decent, healthcare is always high quality, etc, simply exists nowhere.
For self-preservation, you only can focus on what's within YOU, and hope (or prayer if u do) that some external good things may happen too (mostly luck and careful planning, with the perfect timing). Life is always unpredictable -
This world is a dangerous jungle, and humans ((IMO) often behave worse than animals (because animals are much more predictable)...
BUT sometimes, it just takes 1 or 2 symbiotic relationships in your life, that can change or improve everything for the better.

Humans are very different than animals, which can be both good and bad.
I just hope u realize force + strength is not always a requirement for self preservation-
Symbiotic relationships, that benefits them both, , even for many animals is a requirement for survival
.

I wish you the best, and sense you have the determination to succeed and survive regardless of the unknown that comes your way; Just want you to know that even thoygh you may not feel empathy, or concern or trust for others, MANY feel empathetic towards you, which means they want the best outcomes for you, which is often stronger feeling than the usual selfishness all people + animals must have, to also survive.
Think SYMBIOTIC and MUTUALISM with your planning. It may open some doirs u didn't even know existed.

Btw, This advice is coming from somebody who is completely and totally alone.. So alone that it could take weeks or maybe months before anybody would even notice if I died. And I'm mentioning that so you realize that necessity for being symbiotic (joining with others for mutually beneficial outcomes,
Is not because I have a great or caring doctor, husband, friend or anybody (I don't), is just necessary for human survival and preservation, both emotional and physical.

Surprised to see this banner here, have the rules about posting about Gid and religion changed here at PC?

And since I am a deeply Christian" person, I hope it's ok if I ask you,
If I thanked God for many things today, is it also ok if I yell at him for all those things he gave me or I have, that made my day equivalent to being in a living hell?

Or is it the usual praise him for the good, and never blame or hokd him responsuble for the bad?

(No answer necessary, just felt the need to be a little sarcastic, or at the least respond to the presence of a God + Christian banner here on PC.

IF we were to discuss my question (can we yell at God or blame him for the bad) the higher-ups would probably flag/delete the posts- LOL

So I'll just end this post by saying God Bless You too, which I suppose "is allowed". Bye.

Just a ftiend, R U serious that somebody could so easily find an advocate or support counsrlor/worker or some type of facility that would be interested in a person's well-being????
If yes, either we all need to move to Canada (for the help we need that is often nearly impossible to obtain here in U.S.) or I suppose I just need to accept, that it's only me who is stuck in a living hell, which only could/would improve by MONEY and/or excellent health insurance....And yes, for both the poster, who feels she can't do anything right and the too many of us who NOBODY cares about, especially from the health systems and so-called helping agencies...ANGER is a very normal and expected response.
Good night.

you appear to be very negative to everyone on this thread. OP and responders alike.

Is there some reason for all the negativity? The OP is searching for help n support...not negativity.

You are making this about you. It is not now, nor has it ever been, about you - it's about Darkness. You are free to make your own thread to air your frustrations but please do not come derailing someone else's by insulting all their responders simply so you can be heard.

Can your current caseworker refer you to another program or agency that may be able to help you once you turn 26? Or maybe a non-profit agency?

I'm routing for you!

I actually did at one point, think that I was a sociopath.

I was so serious about my theory that I actually read a bunch of books about it, spent time on a couple of forum boards dedicated to sociopaths and psychopaths (yes both are different conditions and I'll get to that in a bit), and even talked to an older woman who is a diagnosed psychopath and told her a bit about myself and asked her if she thought I was a sociopath; that's how serious I was about learning about myself.

Anyways, I don't fit the criteria for neither psychopathy nor sociopathy and the reasoning is simple.

Psychopaths are born as psychopaths. A psychopath has a diminished capacity to feel most emotions. A psychopath cannot feel depression or anxiety at all and isn't influenced by other emotions. A psychopath doesn't feel close to other people and can take or leave friendships and relationships. A psychopath also cannot feel fear and as a result, sometimes engages in dangerous behavior.

I'm not a psychopath for obvious reasons. As a child, I had intense unstable emotions. I was quick to anger, would cry and throw fits a lot, and would lash out at people. As an adult, due to how my mother controlled my entire life and wouldn't allow me to learn how to take care of myself, I have an intense fear of the world which influences many of my decisions. I also often feel depressed, anxious, and sensitive towards rejection and abandonment by other people. A true psychopath cannot feel these things.

A sociopath on the other hand, is made rather than born. A sociopath is developed most commonly by having some intense trauma or neglect before the age of 5 followed by severe abuse and neglect as a child. A sociopath is more impulsive than their psychopath counterparts, seeks thrills and danger, and is incapable of planning ahead. A sociopath is developed simply because they have been through such neglect that they were taught that having connections with people such as love is a weapon to be used against them and as a result, uses people primarily as a self protection mechanism. One also needs a genetic disposition to become a sociopath so not everybody who has gone through such trauma will develop into one.

While I have been through enough childhood trauma to have had the potential to develop into a sociopath, I'm not one simply because I am cautious by nature and I'm not prone to the recklessness, lack of planning ahead, and emotional instability that is required to be a sociopath. I also lack the charm and whit necessary to don the mask of a high functioning sociopath. Furthermore, I do seek limited connections with people even though I'm an introvert who needs a lot of time to myself to recharge. Oh and as mentioned in the psychopathy section of my post, I do feel fear in which a sociopath cannot.

So there you have it. Logic and reason explaining as to why I'm not a psychopath or sociopath so you guys can rest your fears aside

I will still be able to receive services from the mental health center that I currently go to, however, at a reduced capacity.

I will have access to a peer support specialist, a case manager (all be it one who doesn't do such extensive services as my current one), group therapy, and a p-doc.

The latter two I have no real need for as I've tried but they have done little for me and I won't be able to see a therapist without insurance or having a verifiable income (which I don't have yet) which will mean that I will have to rely on their case manager and peer support for help.

My options will be very limited and that worries me but I will have something at least.

Once you get started in school they should have some resources, although limited, too.

I can understand your frustration, anger and fear, I was in a similar situation a long time ago. I really hope something comes together for you.