[wisewoman]

Hi, out I have been feeling like I have been doing better depression wise. I can tell it's way better then 6 weeks ago. But, I have been doing those stupid quizes and eventhough I have improved, it still says I am moderately to severely depressed. Same with anxiety. I am scared about this. I want to be better. I want to do the work my T and I are doing about reframing my beliefs about myself from early and not so early trauma. We were going to do more EMDR today, which is work, but it took so damned long to get ready we ran out of time. I am worried that I will have to go back to work and sink back to the depression and feelings of powerlessness. I do not want this. May take another increase in the ssri. Should have told the doc today but it came up later. so, what to do? The thing we were working on today was about my foster daughter who died and my feelings of if I were a good enough person she would still be here. Basically that sums it up. If I were good enough bad things wouldn't happen. I know it makes no sense but it's inside. Blah.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((wisewoman)))))))))))))))) ...(I wish it was more)
Hang in there hun,
Take care,
Fuzzy

[mj14]

wisewoman, trust your own feelings that you are doing better - you know yourself better than some quiz does. Recovering from depression is a process of taking steps. I know how hard that can be...we want to be better, NOW...but the only real road to improvement is by increments, and with a lot of hard work. Thinking about sinking back is so scary, but try to focus on where you're going, not where you've been. It sounds like you have really made some progress, and I'm sure you are going to continue to improve. As my T often tells me, just "Keep up the good work."

*hugs*
mj

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>

[gloria]

Well, feelings are feelings, they are neither right or wrong, they simply are, is what we choose to do with our feeling that is right or wrong.

I think you are doing what is right for you. So keep it up, and be kind and patient to your self. It takes time and a step at a time to move on, that's just part of the journey.

A hug to your and lots and lots of love.

gab

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wisewoman}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Sometimes, getting over depression isn't only by taking SSRI's. It's also about changing old thinking patterns and habits. The change in perceptions takes more than just simply improving your brain chemistry.

The best of luck with the EMDR. It never helped me with anything although my T and I did it for some time. I was always looking for the "wonderful breakthrough" that she had experienced.

Something else to look into is CBT; Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

You're in my thoughts.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Hey Girl,

Be careful with those online tests they aren't always accurate... i'm happy thought that you are seeing improvments in your mood, depression is not the easiest thing to deal with. I find it the hardest to deal with worse then anxiety.

Don't be scared of it, it doesn't happen over night. Just take it a step at a time that is all anyone can ever do.

Remember bad things happen to everybody... We go through things for a reason, otherwise why would we go through the things that we do? It's not your fault that your foster daughter died... Is their guilt there for some reason?

((((((Wisewoman)))))

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[wisewoman]

I don't feel guilty for any reason. It's just that the belief I developed as a young person in a torturous situation was that if I did things well enough, or was good enough I wouldn't be hurt. The reality of course is that no matter how "good" I am bad things happen. Death, cancer.... the list goes on. So I ma trying to reframe my thinking that I am good enough and the bad things are not because I am bad. Make sense? Anyway, thanks for support.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

((((wisewoman)))) You did the best you could do, so don't put blame on yourself. You didn't know that this situation could have happened......

You are good enough... and bad things do happen, and you are making a ton of sense...

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[SunshineGold03]

(((((((WISEWOMAN)))))))))

Jenn

[wisewoman]

Thanks for your support and encouragement. it means a lot. I am working hard and trying to find a place of peace within.