[heatherm]

I am not even sure how to go about asking for some strength here. I need to know that everything is going to be ok.

As some of you know.....things are not going so great here (that's an understatement ).....long term relationship breakup.....health problems.....deaths in my family. I need to gather some strength from you all to get through this. I thought I could do it alone and fell into a self pity hole. The why me's got me in its grip. I tried to focus on just work and my kids and left myself out of the focus again.

This is the hardest thing I have had to do but I am asking for help to get me through. I am so used to helping others and feel guilty asking others for help.

Love you all xoxo


Heather

[dexter]

{{{{{{heatherm}}}}}}

I do believe everything will be OK. I don't believe our problems will magically disappear at some point, but I do believe we have the strength to deal with them and eventually put them behind us.

Being here is proof of character.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[bptoo]

Heather,

I feel so badly that I didn't know that so much of this was happening with you. I've been so buried in my own stuff that I haven't been watching what's happening here very closely. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with so much, and I know how overwhelming it can be.

What I do know about Heather is that she's a strong woman, with a real sense of purpose. A woman who has a desire to be the best person she can be. While these problems in your life may be knocking you down now, I know that you are a survivor. Your kindness and ability to give love so freely is legendary here at these forums. Don't feel guilty for asking for help, more of us (me included) should do that when we need it.

Know that you have my love, support, and admiration. You have set an example of a loving, caring spirit. I guess when I grow up I hope to be a person like you. I believe that in the end, when the dust settles, you will be OK. You're right Heather, take some of your time and focus on you and what you need. And know that me, and I'm sure many others will be here to support and love you. I have complete faith that you will survive this. And if there is ever anything I can do to help, please call on me. I'm honored to have you as a friend, and I want to help if I can.

I will keep you close in my thoughts, and my heart. We'll all get thru this together. I love you bunches!

((((((((((((((((((((Heather))))))))))))))))))))

Greg



"Beauty is truth, truth is beauty - that is all you know on earth, and all you need to know"

[SunshineGold03]

Heather,
Here's hoping things get much better for you soon. I am very sorry to hear things have been so rough for you lately.







Jenn

[wisewoman]

Sounds like youre sky is falling. I am so sorry for your many losses and other issues. Take little baby steps and do the things you need to to care for you. Like eating, time alone, reaching out etc. You will get through the fog and pain. Sorry for the pain you are in.

[Fuzzybear]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Love you,
Fuzzy
xoxoxox

[Zenobia]

{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} So many good words have already been said I wish I could add something just as inspirational but it has all been covered. Just know you are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself first so you will be in shape to take care of others...which makes me realize that even though you are asking for help you actually helped me by reminding me that it is ok to ask for help when I need it.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

[mj14]

(((((Heather)))))

I'm glad you decided to ask for help...you have done so much to help and support everyone here, we want to be here to help and support you, too.

I'm sorry things have been so hard on you. You deserve so much good in your life. I know everything will work out, and you will get through this. And remember that we are all here for you, to help you get through at.

*hugs*
Love ya,
Jo

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>

[SeptemberMorn]

Alright! You found your courage! I always knew you had it. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Since I'm going through some similar situations as you; being losses and a broken heart, I'll tell you how I'm getting through. Without thinking about it but rather going by feeling, I took what hurt me the most and I'm working through that. It was Neil's passing that occupied my thoughts and feelings the most. With help from our friends here, actually reading, re-reading and allowing myself to almost be immersed in their words, I found such comfort. It not only came from our friends here but actually through my feelings about Neil. So many things became clear to me.

It's been said before, Hun; Baby Steps. One thing at a time. I'm having trouble expressing myself right now, but why don't you read my thread on "Sad News" in Grief and Loss. Read what others told me to do; like talking/writing about it for starters.

GAWD, I'm having trouble putting anything down in words... Just read that thread... Know that we love you and we're here to do whatever we can for you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[PlanningtoLive]

{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I know that right now things have you off kilter and unbalanced. I also know that you will get through this because you are very strong and determined.

That doesn't lessen the pain or the sense of grief/betrayal that you are experiencing. But smooshed down there is that inner core of steel that you possess to get you thru things.

You have always been there for me, sending me sweet cards to check up on me..............never be sorry for asking for something in return. Your children love you dearly, as does everyone on these forums.

I'm here for you in whatever way you need..........hugs, support, etc. Vent, cry, experience your feelings - don't push them aside the way I do, or you'll be setting yourself up for more problems down the road.

Take your time, and remember, everyone is here for you.

Lots of love your way,

xoxoxox

<font color=blue>If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.~ Sam Levenson<font color=blue>

[heatherm]

((((((((((Dave)))))))))))

I was afraid of being here.....not of anyone here at all....just felt like I could not take those steps and reach out. It felt safer for me to just hide everything under my mat of denial....focus on the kids and work.

Thank you for always being there for me.


Heather

[heatherm]

((((((((((Greg))))))))))))

I can hear your voice through your words. You put the "gentle" in gentleman. Please don't feel badly about what has been going on in your life hun.....we are all going through tough times and it makes such a difference knowing I have friends like you to help me through.

Thank you hun.

Love you xoxo


Heather

[heatherm]

(((((((((((Jenn))))))))))))

You are a ray of sunshine...thank you.

xoxo


Heather

[heatherm]

((((((((wisewoman)))))))))

That is exactly how I have been feeling. Like I am looking at someone else's life....detachment from my own world.

Thank you for your kind words of support.


Heather

[heatherm]

((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))

I have missed you hun. The other night, William (my youngest) gave me one of his teddy bears to hug and said what is his name? I said how about Fuzzy and he then said awwwww Fuzzy and we snuggled up with her til he fell asleep.

Love you xoxo


Heather

[heatherm]

((((((((((((((Carrie))))))))))))))))

I would love to know you in 3D.

It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do....reaching out. Even now I am sitting here crying reading everyone's posts to me. It means the world to me to know how you guys care for me.

Love you xoxo


Heather

[heatherm]

((((((((((((Jo)))))))))))))

I have been sitting here reading these over and over again....crying while I do it but feeling like a weight is coming off my shoulders.

Love you hun xoxo


Heather

[heatherm]

(((((((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))))))))

I am not sure what hurts the most yet....does that make sense? I start to think it is what Mike did and then I think.....was that it? or was that the straw that broke the camel's back with me?

I do need to write things down.....gosh with what has been going on for the past few months with me I could write a book. Thank you for reminding me to write it down and work from there. Baby steps sweetie....that will be my motto.

Love you so much sweetie xoxo


Heather

[heatherm]

((((((((((((Mary Alice)))))))))))))))

Let's learn from each other hun.....everything you just wrote to me is what I think of you too.

I think one of my biggest worries is that I will let the anger that is pushed inside me come out. That scares me as I know it is in there. I feel such sadness on everything going on around me but I know deep down it is there.

Thank you for always being there for me.....love you hun. xoxo


Heather

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You've got a couple of wonderful friends in 3D. Why don't you ask one of them to watch the kids and the other one to come stay with you while you let some of those feelings out. Don't judge what comes out first; whether it's the most important or not. If you allow yourself to cry, everything seems to sort itself out. And if not, that's okay, too, but you need to start releasing some of that pent up emotion.

I've never been one to hit on things to release anger. It feels much better to just scream. I take my pillow and put it over my mouth and just let 'er rip. I swear, I scream, I kick. It's exhausting but that feels good, too. LOL The last time I did it, I even fell off the bed and then turned around on my back and kicked the bed. Thank goodness it was Jerry's air mattress. LOL Just wish I could be there to hold you afterward, but like I said, you have a couple of really great friends, eh?

Love you, Sweety!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[gloria]

PLEASE know that a bunch of us are with you, you have our thoughts, our prayers, our care ....
I know sometimes some of us wish for some physical closeness just so we could hug each other ...

Well, here is an electronic hug for you!

gab

[SeptemberMorn]

Hun, I wish I could tell you, but like Karla used to tell me "You don't have my feelings." Trying to put myself in your position, for me, it would be what Mike did to you and your family. That hit you where you live. He let you down in the worst way when things were already hitting the fan for you. Even if you weren't really close to the people that passed, and I don't know whether you were or not, just the fact that it seemed they were dropping like flies was bad enough! So much death around you! Makes you wonder about your own mortality!

Don't know if he picked that time to come clean because he figured you were in a weakened position and it wouldn't go so bad for him or not. Who knows if he even thought about it consciously. But from my own life's experience, no doubt he was in denial (big time!) about his addiction and everything just broke at the same time. It could be that your problems were what broke his back. You had been emotionally strong and suddenly you weren't and his support gave out on him. I don't know. I'm just trying to see both sides of the issue. In no way am I trying to defend him and I hope you know that.

Did you ever contact Gambler's Anon? Have you decided yet whether to kick him out or not? Have you informed yourself on how addictive personalities work? You don't have to answer these questions here if you don't want to. You don't even have to answer me. Just think about it. Above all, don't "sweep it under the carpet," ok? You'll get a nasty mound on that rug that will trip you up every time.

Love you!!

<center> </center>

There's your soft place to land.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Rapunzel]

(((((((((((Heather))))))))))))

You have had so much to deal with lately. I think it is great that you are able to come here and ask for support when you need it, and I hope that you can feel all the love that is poured out to you. You are always so good to give support to me and others, even when you have struggles yourself. You are one special person.

Wendy

<font color=orange>"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill "</font color=orange>

[LadyDragus]

Soemone sent this to me, and I am going to share it with you.. love you..
I will send you more than love if I could, but I am not that close to you sweetie pie..
I am glad you are asking for help.. I finally asked for it in CC a few weeks ago.. and you know if felt good to ask for it..
so here I am giving back waht I recived
<center>
FRIENDS ARE LIKE ANGELS
Our friends are like angels,
who brighten our days.
In all kinds of wonderful,
Magical ways.
Their thoughtfulness comes,
As a gift from above.
And we feel we're surrounded,
By warm, caring love.
Like upside-down rainbows,
Their smiles bring the sun.
And they fill ho-hum moments,
With laughter and fun.
Friends are like angels,
Without any wings.
Blessing our lives,
With the most precious things.
~~Author Unknown.~~
</center>

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[heatherm]

((((((((((Gloria)))))))))))

Thank you so much.


Heather