Would you want to be cured of MI if you could be?

I was watching a documentary recently about a well known television personality that has aspergers, and was investigating new experimental treatments in the cure for autism.

And when asked himself if he wanted to be cured if he could be, in the end his answer was an emphatic "no thank you".

He brought up some good points, and when faced with the question myself, I have to agree with him.

No matter how much trouble my own MI has caused me, and the difficulties I face day to day with it, I can't help but feel like I'd largely be losing a part of myself and who I am, and even my own unique perspective on the world around me.

I don't want to be 'normal', I just want to be me.

I knew someone as a teenager that had a lot of behavioral problems. And he disappeared for awhile, and several years later he stopped by my house unexpectadly one day and we visited for awhile. I noticed that he had changed so dramatically, that he was not the person I knew at all.

In fact he told me that he was committed to a mental hospital after I had last seen him, and he was forced to under-go ECT.

Years later when I saw a psychiatrist, I asked them about it, and told them how they seemed so different and almost like the light in his eyes got switched off. He just wasn't the same. And they said that when someone undergoes that therapy, they are not a whole person.

I just don't think that erasing large parts of a person's memory is the answer, but instead walking side-by-side with them and supporting and loving them.

Honestly, where does one draw the line? I think if anything, treating someone in an attempt to make them everybody else's definition of NORMAL is wrong.

I find that quite offensive personally. Because even though I have struggled with MI myself, I am still me, and who is to say but me that I am better off or worse than anyone else? Or even for that matter, why should I be like anyone else? To be put inside a box that others create for me to be acceptable to THEM? NO, thank you.

Edit: on a side note, this is the documentary I was talking about, if anyone is interested. It's almost an hour, but pretty good IMHO.

I mean, the human brain changes constantly anyway, although supposedly less past age ~25. For this reason, for me staying myself is a moot point. It's an illusion our mind creates. And I've heard powerful arguments that one has to trick the mind to feel happy anyway (although they don't phrase it like that). I had to trick it and mold it to get out of depression, and others use drugs. Aspergers is somewhat different, but if it's accompanied by social anxiety, you also go and trick your brain to accept a certain amount of social discomfort. If there's a treatment to influence the process, why not, I say. It's another thing that it's a nuanced condition and I wouldn't advise using a hammer like ECT, if that's what it's about.

This is something I think about frequently. If they could remove the "bad" parts of the illness; the parts that make my life hell, but leave the creativity and humor, I'd take the cure. But... I know that some of my creativity comes from the "bad" parts. My PDoc pointed out that so much of my photography is about finding beauty, even though my head is filled with not so beautiful stuff. That I use the photography to bring light into my darkness. And my brother said that I see in photographs. I get engrossed in trying to get the perfect shot. When I got my DSLR, it was like having a limb reattached that I didn't know was missing. So yes, I'm sure that curing the mental illnesses would deeply impact who I am. But then again, it would open up a whole world of new possibilities.

On a broader scale, I wonder what would happen to the world if mental illness was cured. Obviously, arts would take a hit. But so would progress. It takes out-of-the-box thinkers to come up with radically different ways of understanding the world around us, as well as new ways of doing things and new products. I think that people who have mental illnesses are less likely to accept the status quo. Unfortunately, rather than tapping into this potential wellspring of knowledge, we are usually disregarded and relegated to the fringes of society.

If the cure was something involving invasive measures....no thank you. If it was simply getting rid of the illness...sign me up. I would be willing to lose some things that I currently have but not much. As someone mentioned, it would open a world of new possibilities.

Excellent thread.

In a NY second, no question!

It depends on my general mood. I can see how my personality, what I perceive as "me" is partly shaped by mental illness when I'm in a better mood. In these situations I wouldn't want to completely eliminate my mental illness because as you said, it's also a part of me. At the moment and for most of the last four years I would take the cure in a heartbeat though. The problems it'd caused me just far outweigh it being part of my personality in my opinion.

I understand the notion though. The best therapist I ever had told me that living with your problems should always be the objective, not trying to cut them out of your mind.

Yes. Being cured of my OCD and psychotic episodes would mean more time doing fun things, and less time repeating the same boring rituals.

Yes, cuz I'd be more relaxed and have an easier time doing things like taking care of myself and holding down a job. I'm working on getting to that point.

Some MI are actually situational. In my case the major depression recurrent & major anxiety I was dx'ed with started with a situation that caused me to have a break down, suicide attempts, anorexia. I was a total mess. I went from being a professional computer design engineer to not being able to function when I was 42. The aerospace industry where I lived crashed & I couldnt find anither position. I think burn out hit at the same time along with ending up in a department I hated dealing with policies & procedures. After a year of being at home, that was when thebdepression & suicide attempts hit.

It wasnt until I left my bad marriage 13 years later that I realized that major depression came from being trapped in it financially with no way out.

That escape to freedom showed up other issues that I had been living with that were feeding my depression. One of those things was realizing that the H that was creatjng so much trouble in my life actually was not just dealing with hid dxed adult ADD but also ASD & I had grown up with avdad whose behaviors also pointed to him having veen on the spectrum.

Learning how to react to normal people in the outside of eork environment was a challenge but it totally replaced the depression & anxiety.

I am much ilder now & at retirement age anyway now. The strange thing, being away from that stressful environment I have my concentration & memory back & I canvfunctikn more like my old self finally at tgevage of almost 65 . But I am in a totalky different place now. Out on a 10 acre farm in Ky instead of Los Angeles & life is peaceful for the first time.

Yes, my MI was real in spite of it being situational & that & a final blow that caused PTSD right before I left were the things that actually brought me to this peaceful place in life where I could heal. Its nice to feel better than my previous normal self felt because I am no longer in that environment that caused me so much depression....so yes, I like being rid of it & being the new person I am capable of becomming.

i'm not sure.

I mean... yeah, it would change my life- I could get a job, I could get friends, I wouldn't have to take all these meds..

but on the other hand I've reached a point in my life where i'm really uncertain about the future, even if I want a future- so I think if it was gone, my first thought would be.... what do I do now?

I litirally have no plans or no goals, I litirally don't want to be here 90 percent of the time

so...... I guess I wouldn't get the cure

maybe at 1 point I would have

but not now

Interesting replies from everyone.

I feel the same way. Some days I really struggle just to get through the day. I'm unhappy with life (though that's another story altogether).

It's days like that, that finding even the smallest of joys can make a big difference.

Definitely--so I wouldn't have to take all the meds I need to.

I certainly know what you mean by the small joys.
little things to most, but to us it's the best thing ever

I can't think of any passiffic examples right now, but their's been loads of times i've been over excited about something small

For me this is about Recovery, not cure

My creativity I consider is a gift of mental illness. The sicker I am the better my craft. However, my mental illness has made job stability impossible. There is so much limited and lacking in my life on account of my lowly financial status and capability. I would gladly give up my art for normalcy and the ability to work and contribute without fear.

I've only had a couple of depressive episodes in my life but yes I would gladly accept a cure which meant I would certainly never go there again. Tbh I am afraid another time and I might not come out the other side.

The only positive I can see it that maybe it has made me more aware of the suffering of others and so more compassionate but perhaps I would have been like that anyway who knows.

I saw the Chris Packham documentary, it was interesting but is aspergers a MI or just a different neural way of being? I can certainly understand him being happy with the positive side of his AS traits.

Aspergers is definitely neural and not a mental illness, but I was just using his example of his own feelings toward his disability and posing the same question toward those with mental illness in general.

I believe that my own MI has given me a unique perspective and understanding that probably most Nons lack.

Still, I think I have to backtrack on what I said in the start of this thread, as my depression is on the upswing and kicking my butt ATM. I definitely don't like feeling the way I do right now.

I don't think so. I tell everyone that with my illnesses I feels like I see the world in color when everyone else sees black and white. My issues have influenced me so much. I love who I am even through the hard parts.

It might be different for me because my main problem is depression. I feel like it's affected many of my decisions, life choices, and experiences, so in a way it is part of me, but a part of me that causes the rest of me a lot of pain. I'm more than any one aspect of myself.

There are many aspects of myself that I try to minimize, such as having a bad temper like my parents, because they don't add to my life and relationships or make me any happier. I don't see why depression would be different here, but maybe it is for some people who see their MI as part of how they view the world (such as Autism/Asperger's).

i don't care about getting rid of it now. it's partly hereditary and as much me as my eye color or kidneys. if there were a magic button where i could reverse time and convert myself back to 14 and do high school with normal brain chemistry, keep myself away from my abuser, be more passionate about living than dying, that'd be terrific. maybe i'd have gone to college, gotten a good job and social skills. it's just a fantasy though. traumas would have seeped in anyway. i wouldn't be able to tell my story as it is or meet some of the most important people in my life. as much as the occasional psychotic flareup sucks i don't know what kind of person i'd be without my brain's weird fizzly wiring. maybe they'd be an awful, thoughtless person.

I think that if a cure were available for my many MI i would still choose not to simply because my MI have really defined who i am personality wise regarding my choices, dislikes, interests, reactions and i wouldnt be who i am today if not for them. Sure they may be quite hindering at certain times but other than those moments i am perfectly fine with being this way. I have simply built up too much of myself and my life due to my MI.

That is an interesting question that I thought would be easy to answer but is not.

Yes, because this all sucks. No, for several reasons. I wouldn't know who I was without and I would still be in the same position since I haven't been employable in forever making me probably unemployable forever.

At my age it wouldn't make any difference.

Yes. But for other people. I think I am a difficult person to be around. I like myself but many people see me as a bit hard to handle.

If I didn't have kids, I would be off meds and crazy.