[gloria]

Isn't it ironic? It is my wedding aniversary today.

gab

[LadyDragus]

I think this is what you wanted ???? But I am not sure ????
Or is this the one you wanted... Since I am not sure which you wanted... here is a mulitcolor smiley too..



<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[gloria]

I am not sure which smiley I wanted. I am not sure how I feel, but at the end it will all be good.

I just thought it was ironic when it finally happened.

gab

[LadyDragus]

ah ok..
(((((((((((((( hugs anywho ))))))))))))))))))))


<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[(JD)]

((((gloria)))))[purple} mine told me he was getting a divorce because he couldn't live with my disability... he said this on our 26th anniversary.



it turned out to be a good thing... just 26 years too late.

No one likes failure... but we learn from it.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

It'll get better. I promise!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[SunshineGold03]

{{{{Sky}}}}} and {{{{Gloria}}}}

[Rapunzel]

I wrote a reply earlier, but it isn't here. Maybe I forgot to hit the continue button. Anyway, my husband's secretary got divorced on Valentine's day (that was the day the paperwork went through). She has since then celebrated Valentine's Day as her liberation day.

Hang in there! You are working towards a better life, and it will happen.
Wendy

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>

[gloria]

Thank you Ozzie, Lady Dragus, Septembermorn, sunshine and rapunzel.

I know I should feel different than how I feel. I don't understand it.

I can see where the sense of loss and failure is comming from, I just didn't know it would be this hard, when is suppose to be a good thing.

gab

[Rapunzel]

Gloria,

What do you mean, you should feel different from how you feel? There are no rules for how you should feel. Whatever you feel is perfectly okay and reasonable, and it makes total sense to me that even if you recognize that this change is something you wanted, and it will give you opportunities to improve your life and your childrens' future, you still may feel a sense of loss, and even feel like you and/or others have failed at something. You didn't marry this man in the first place for no reason at all, and nobody is 100% bad. If everything were so clear cut, then decisions like this would be a cinch, and you never would have gotten into an abusive marriage in the first place. Yes, there is irony in the dates. Sometimes irony makes a big statement, and it can reflect a lot of feelings, especially mixed feelings.

Don't deny yourself permission to feel what you feel, and don't let somebody else or some preconceived notion tell you that your feelings are wrong. You are the only one who can determine how you feel.

I'm sorry that it is hard. I would be surprised if it weren't hard though.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Wendy

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>

[shakes]

Gloria,
I agree with Rapunzel. There is no way you are suppose to feel. While you may have wanted a seperation the actual act of getting a divorce can stir up feelings that you did not think that you would feel. I would believe that it would be normal to have some feelings of guilt and sadness. The loss of a relationship is still a loss.

My thoughts are with you.


If you need anything, or even to call me, you have my number and I am here.

Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

Hey... thought I'd share some feelings I had the other day about the ex I've been divorced from for 30+ years. My hubby and I met at a group of divorced people that my ex used to run. At one time, these groups were all over the country. My ex oversaw three groups in three different cities. When my hubby started going to the one I attended, he told his ex about it so she started going to the one my ex attended. They met, they dated and just a couple of weeks ago, I found out that hubby's ex told him that she and MY ex had had sex. It didn't surprise me because my ex would "do it" to anything in skirts. In fact, he's got bastard kids in every town he's lived in so why should it upset me? It did! Thirty plus years later!

Being me, I can't leave things alone. I have to analyze them, especially if they're my feelings. I figured out that it didn't upset me so much that he had sex with someone else. It was that I had been so damned naive when I married him! Everyone had told me he was repulsive but he wasn't to me because he had managed to hook me with his self-pity. Long story... but when I got it straight in my head that indeed, he was repulsive and had been all along, it was easier for me to let it go. I blamed myself and my stupidity and desperation to get out of the house, but then I realized that I wouldn't have my first two kids. My oldest son is someone that I can be so sickingly proud of! He's got the best wife, the best kids and he's started two business one of which is making him rich right now. He's the one that has stepped forward and taken care of me when I've needed it. He's the one that under no circumstances will he use his kids as pawns in any power game with me. Yeah, he's got his faults, but what would I do without him?? So... I forgive myself for the stupid mistake I made of marrying his dad and move on.

I also had a daughter by this man: my firstborn. It's safe to say I don't have her anymore because she quit talking to me about 6/7 yrs ago... but it's due to the fact that she inherited her dad's paranoid schizophrenia... as yet undiagnosed as far as I know. Yeah, it's a heartache, but I can look back on her healthy years, her wonderful childhood and still have good memories of her. She was a beautiful child and she's a beautiful woman (looking, that is.) I still can't figure how she can look so much like me and I'm so ugly. LOL No comments, please!

So you see? We can get past these hard times. Look at your beautiful kids and be thankful of the good things that came out of your marriage. Know that this ending is for a good reason; to give your kids a better, happier more stable mother. It's for you as well as for them.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Gloria}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

PS When you use the word "should," you are being your own critical parent. Feelings are just that; feelings. Listen to Wendy!







<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[gloria]

you know rapunzel?
You and Dexter are sooo hard on your statements, I love it.
You are like that slap on my face I needed to snap out of it and realize I am ok.

thank you, I sincerely appreciate you a whole lot, And everybody else that show their support.


gab

[Rapunzel]

Gloria,

You really are okay! I hope you know that.



<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>

[dexter]

Watch out or we will all line up like they did in "Airplane" to slap the hysterical woman

Seriously though you are going through a difficult process and like others have said there is no way you are "supposed" to feel... other than feeling like something big is going on. It is part of our human nature when faces when change... even the best changes, or changes away from the worst situations... always bring anxiety and very strong feelings both good and bad.

You don't have to decide how you are supposed to feel... just accept those feelings, post about them, and keep at the forefront your goals. The only problem would be if those feelings are preventing you from taking the steps you know you have to take... and we are here to help with that as are people in your real world. It would be normal to have second thoughts, just remember the reasons for deciding on the changes in the first place and keep moving forward.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[gloria]

border=0></a>Thank you Dexter, and line up anytime you think I need it.

lots of love to you.

gab