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#1
Dec 23, 2007, 03:28 PM
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i got a christmas card from this woman i used to know. when i was about 16 or 17 i stayed in her foster house and she was pretty nice to me. i ran off from there though. i didnt see her again until about maybe five years ago and she recognized me and started to talk again a little bit. she told me that when i did run off from her place it was a few days until she noticed. i don't really like talking to her its really weird and brings back a lot stuff i don't like to think about. i wish she didnt send me a card. we didn't send her one and know i feel like a jerk and like i'm supposed to start talking to her again and i can't stop thinking about it.
and other stuff to. i really really really like christmas now that i'm marryed and we got a son and he's two this year so he's gonna have more fun. last year he didn't really get what was going on but this year he'll love it. but i used to hate christmas cause i was by myself and i hated seeing everyone else with there familys and having fun so everytime now i get pretty emotional. lots of feelings come up. and this year we rented a cabin to have christmas with some friends cause my wife's father don't like me so much and he's been in the hospital. we're leaving to go up there today and i'm worryed about having panic attacks being up there and being away from home and i'm afraid of getting all emotional about christmas and maybe crying in front of them. i'm not complaining. i'm know i'm real lucky to be able to be with them and do all this stuff. i just wish there was some way to just have all the good parts of it and not the bad stuff coming back anymore. |
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#2
Dec 23, 2007, 04:03 PM
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(((city))) I would, myself, close that card back up and "return to sender" even if that meant putting new postage on it!
Go for the good!  I wish you well this holiday season!
__________________
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#3
Dec 23, 2007, 05:33 PM
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SC
I'd toss the card and leave all the baggage of past memories at home. Enjoy your time at the cabin with friends and family. You owe it to yourself. Your child is a good reminder it's a new beginning for you, so it's not necessary to carry past hurt along with you on this trip. |
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#4
Dec 23, 2007, 06:38 PM
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((((((((((((( Sincity ))))))))))))))
Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas! I'm with Kathy on this one....toss the card and don't give it a second thought. You are now in control of your life and you can choose to keep your past right where it is...in the past. You have the control over who you are now and who you want to be. Enjoy your holiday....so what if you get teary eyed...it's an emotional time for many folks. Wishing you well! Hugsss sabby |
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#5
Dec 23, 2007, 06:41 PM
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I agree, leaving the past behind you sounds like a good idea....I know how hard that can be, but try to enjoy yourself and your family. I have family that were abusive to me--they would like me to have a relationship with them, but I don't. It is my choice as to whether or not I want to interact with them. I choose not to because I don't owe them anything. I don't think you owe this woman anything either. But, easier said than done...
__________________
You don't have to fly straight...  ...just keep it between the lines!
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#6
Dec 23, 2007, 07:54 PM
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Hope you have a good time at the cabin SinCity! Enjoy your son and friends.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#7
Dec 24, 2007, 01:41 AM
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burn the card
It sounds like maybe running away wasn't such a bad idea if she didn't even notice. I am glad things are getting better in your life.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
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#8
Dec 24, 2007, 03:32 AM
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I have a word that I always use for the Christmas holidays...."Bitter-sweet". I think it sums up all the feelings in a nice, neat little package. The holidays are so confusing for so many of us because they dredge up some of the best and worst memories/feelings we have. The music, colors, smells, foods etc. are everywhere. IMPOSSIBLE to get away from. I drove myself crazy for years trying to "decide" whether I was happy or miserable. It would change from minute to minute. Once I decided that it was all "bitter-sweet", it helped me to finally just go with all of the emotions.
Sounds to me like the card you receive falls in the "bitter" category. Toss the card, enjoy your son's first real holiday experiences & don't judge or beat yourself up about any of it. I hope you have a wonderful "bittersweet" holiday  Eat  Drink Be Merry!!  tulips
__________________
 
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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