[cool09]

I've been in the mental health system since I was 19. I'm 58 now. I've been hospitalized over 20 times (for depression/anxiety) and been on disability for the last 20 years. I've been diagnosed with a personality disorder and recently asbergers syndrome and no one has helped me with these things! I don't know what to do! I've seen dozens of doctors and some of the best doctors in the country and I've seen at least 6 therapists the last 5 years and they don't listen to me! And talking doesn't help! I've taken every medication known to psychiatry (plus 3 trials of ECT) and I'm dreading my appointment with my doctor this week. I don't know what to tell him. (I don't want to end up on an anti-psychotic with horrible side effects-I've taken my share of them.) I can't function anymore and no one I talk to gets it! They either want me to take horrible medication (that doesn't work) to shut me up or send me to a traumatic day program (that doesn't help) or they just don't listen. My family doesn't listen anymore, either. I've fallen thru the cracks in the system and I don't know where to turn!

[downandlonely]

That sounds very tough. I have suspected I am on the autism spectrum for some time (they no longer use Aspbergers as an official diagnosis, but that would fit me). I can't afford to get the official evaluation, because my insurance won't cover testing for adults. However, I did find out I may be able to do therapy and support groups even without the official diagnosis.

Individual therapy never helped me much either. Support groups helped me much more. There are many available for free on Zoom. You can try Support Groups Central | Live Online Peer Support Groups for Life's Challenges, Hey Peers - Where Peers and Support Groups Connect, and http://namimd.org/.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. Sadly... I'm convinced there comes a point, age-wise, where one simply becomes excess baggage on the mental-health railroad, so to speak. I'm soon to be 74. I've been kicking around the mental health system where I live for over 20 years. And all anyone has ever done with me was to open the medicine cabinet & say: "Which drug do you want?" I don't know at what age this "age-factor" kicks in since I was already there when I first became an active consumer of mental-health services at around age 50. However, I'm convinced mental-health services (at least where I live) are for young people. And us older folks are just in the way.

[cool09]

I bring up my mental disorders to my therapist and she doesn't want to discuss them. She says, "That's only on paper". In 2.5 yrs she never told me how to manage my anxiety! When I bring up my anxiety she says "You have to manage it" but she never tells me how!

[Nammu]

Sounds like catastrophic thinking. The fact you are on disability means you have been helped in the past or you you be homeless and without means right now.

[MuseumGhost]

It's likely everything looks pretty bad from where you are at right now. I've been there; I get it. However, our perspective can change a lot, depending on how well (or how poorly) we're doing.

I do not enjoy a good rapport with my G.P., unfortunately. I cannot access a psychiatrist in my area, unless I go in-patient. And my depression, although it was very bad for a time, was never THAT bad---as I know beds are limited; and frankly, I was terrified to go. I've had a very bad time with any kind of physician, since I moved to Canada. I can relate to what you are saying, and i know how it can make a person feel.

I've had to educate myself about my illnesses, and medications, and all of my self-help/ therapy options. I've had to, in the words of a friend, "become my own doctor", in many ways. So I do understand being in a situation where you are feeling rather adrift and alone.

I like the suggestions downandlonely offered. There is also abundant free info about CBT and DBT online. I have found CBT most helpful with my anxiety problems. I'm not cured, but I'm lightyears ahead of where I once was; and am now able to do a lot more on my own.

Try not to think of your situation as an all-or-nothing proposition. Make a list of what you would like to see happen, and then investigate more ways to make it possible.

[downandlonely]

Originally Posted by cool09

I bring up my mental disorders to my therapist and she doesn't want to discuss them. She says, "That's only on paper". In 2.5 yrs she never told me how to manage my anxiety! When I bring up my anxiety she says "You have to manage it" but she never tells me how!

If your therapist isn't helpful, it may be worth trying to find another one. There are also certified peer specialists.

[Nix]

I don't know how many medications you've tried, but I know that I've had horrible side effects with some AP's and then others were ok. So hopefully there is something out there that might be helpful. Sorry you feel the way you do... it sounds really depressing.

[cool09]

I've had horrible side effects with AP's. I took thorazine once and it nearly killed me. And ECT was a nightmare.

If it was just one thing I would have beaten this years ago, believe me. But there are a whole bunch of things. I have PTSD from being traumatized in the hospital. Five yrs ago I was told I have Asbergers and no one has helped me with that! A Dr. asked me if I "made friends" with my anxiety after telling her that it was crippling me. I've learned that help doesn't exist.

[eskielover]

Seriously what helped me recover was DBT & a good therapist who taught me how to apply the skills in my own life. No one can help us recover, we have to do that on our own but having a good teacher teach us the skills we never learned in life & initially guide us in applying them was the key for me.

Oh yes, the parkinsin's like sideveffect from thyroxine & was taking compozine for the migraine nausea at the same time, I got a double wham & it took months to recover so I could walk & feed myself again. Turned out for me, when I left the situation I was in (bad marriage) that was my first step to healing. Therapy & DBT helped me sort out everything along with the bad coping skills I had practices just to survive before that

[downandlonely]

I think some doctors prescribe anti-psychotics when they're not needed. I was prescribed Abilify for a while, which I did not need since I've never had psychosis.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Sounds like catastrophic thinking. The fact you are on disability means you have been helped in the past or you you be homeless and without means right now.

Not true and even less helpful. I am on disability BECAUSE NOTHING HELPED IN THE PAST and do not assume it is because I don't bust my ***** every single effing day like the OP to get well or at least cope.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by cool09

I've been in the mental health system since I was 19. I'm 58 now. I've been hospitalized over 20 times (for depression/anxiety) and been on disability for the last 20 years. I've been diagnosed with a personality disorder and recently asbergers syndrome and no one has helped me with these things! I don't know what to do! I've seen dozens of doctors and some of the best doctors in the country and I've seen at least 6 therapists the last 5 years and they don't listen to me! And talking doesn't help! I've taken every medication known to psychiatry (plus 3 trials of ECT) and I'm dreading my appointment with my doctor this week. I don't know what to tell him. (I don't want to end up on an anti-psychotic with horrible side effects-I've taken my share of them.) I can't function anymore and no one I talk to gets it! They either want me to take horrible medication (that doesn't work) to shut me up or send me to a traumatic day program (that doesn't help) or they just don't listen. My family doesn't listen anymore, either. I've fallen thru the cracks in the system and I don't know where to turn!

I'm starting to relate to this. I see my PN next week and I intend to tell her the depakote isn't cutting it. I'm still too manic. Yes, it's better than it was...to the best of my knowledge I have not had any more episodes of amnesia where I had a traffic accident I don't remember - luckily no one was hurt...but I'm still scratching and slapping and flapping which I find maddening. The last time I saw her she said I didn't seem manic to her. 🙄🙄🙄