Hard day

So I started my new job yesterday and it went alright. Except for one thing...my job description got changed and now I am working with a group of 8-12 kids ages 1year to 15 years two times a week. I do not do so well with children...frankly they make me so anxious and I just feel so uncomfortable. I kinda feel hookwinked into this because this was not the orignal plan when I was interviewed.
When I had group yesterday I almost had a panic attack right there. I just do not have the patience and understanding that the woman who does it now has. I do not know if I can do this.

Any advice?

Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee

hold on the reins, it gets easier! but it may get harder first. i don't know what the environment you're working with these kids is, but i work in a psychiatric treatment center for teenagers. talk about scary, eh!? i was scared of teenagers even when i was one!!! and i'm only 22. 21 when i started, so i almost could've gone to highschool with some of my clients! it was really nerve-wracking, scary, etc, at first. i realized, looking back, that i dissociated a lot at work ("spaced out" when i was under stress). i also cried sometimes after i got home. i didn't think i would ever bond with those kids, but i did. and i cried and they cried when i changed positions within the company. sometimes you just have to hang in there for a while until you gain your footing. and if you have supportive staff members who work for the same company, definitely ask them for advice or ask them about when they were new, if you're comfortable with that.

good luck!!!!

Angela

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

I'm a firm believer that we are put into special situations in order for us to grow; I'm not sure what GOd has in store for you, but hang in there--perhaps it's just for your personal growth, perhaps you're meant to help someone specific there.
Good Luck,
Jon

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jessica}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I sure feel for you! First of all, I have trust issues. If I had been interviewed for one position but was put somewhere else, out of my element, I would have been really mad!

Consider this, though. First, you said it went alright. Second, you said you almost had a panic attack. You got nervous, that's all. I think anyone on their first day on any job gets nervous.

Only you can judge the situation for yourself. On a scale of 1 - 10, put your issues where you think they belong. 1) How badly do you feel about being hoodwinked? 2) How uncomfortable were you really around those kids? 3) At your age, don't you think it would be wise to get over your fear of kids? 4) Could you learn something vocational as well as personal by sticking with it?





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Sept.Morn; your post seems so insightful. WHen I need it, I definitely want you in my corner.
Jon

When i moved in with my girlfriend her daughters were 11 and 14. I was scared out my wits too. In the beginning i felt like i wanted to pull out my hair sometimes in frustration but it all worked out. I have ZERO patience with almost everything and i tend to run if things go badly. Somehow it all worked out tho and now 6 years later life is good in that regards. My main advice is find someone(even post here if need be) so you can vent about your day. That is what always helped me get thru it. Dont let the frustration build up and realize you are gonna make some mistakes no matter what. Plus kids do some downright neat things sometimes when their not busy being kids One time when the youngest was around 13 i was having a terrible day and she made homemade cookies just for me. She didnt want anything in return,it wasnt a bribe. She just wanted to brighten my day. Hold on and remember these good things as well and try to remember em when you feel like your getting way too frustrated and remember you get to go home at the end of the day.

Hey Jessica, I worked at a shelter for homeless and runaway teens, trust me, you are at a much better place ( ha ha ha, It still gives me the creeps).
Anyhow, it takes time, and I am sure they know that.

Children are lots of trouble, but they are very loving and very giving too. Allow yourself to learn how to work with them. It will get harder at first, but I bet you, if you give yourself 90 days, you'll be good to go by then, with still a lot to learn, but much more comfortable in your new role.

Take care

gab

My goodness, I'd be nervous too. First the change in and of itself. And working with kids...not my strong suit. I know you will do your best. Hang in there. Someone else posted about asking staff for advice.I think that is a good idea. If you have the opportunity to observe others that may also help.

I hope in time you feel more comfortable. The first weeks on a job can be so hard. Please take extra special care of yourself and allow yourself to to be open to learning and to the process rather than end results.

gg

(((((((((((((((Jessica)))))))))))))))

Thanks everyone,
Well you were right. My first week was one of the hardest things I have ever been through in my life. I cried a lot when I got home and am feeling really really frustrated. While I realize I have to get over my fear of kids I do not know how to get more patient with them. I suppose it would come in time, but right now I just do not have to heart to play with them or "watch" them do a cartwheel. I guess my problem is I want to be helping their mothers and not doing puzzles with them.
However I do not quit and will be trying very hard to stick through this. I know it will get easier, but it might require me quitting my other job at the mall. Working 10 hour days is sapping me more then I thought it would and I have to think of my health first.

Ill keep you guys in the loop,
Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee

((Shakes)); give yourself some time to adjust. Its so hard to start a new job, but I dont agree with them changing your job duties without discussing it with you. Can you ask if there is something else you could do? Give it a try if you are able, maybe in a while you will love it. It sounds like a job that requires much energy; we all know how busy kids are. I agree with you when you say 10hrs is an aweful lot. That is for sure; and yes you need to think of your health. Maybe take some time out to think about it and keep posting. Hey, dont be so hard on yourself. Take care and best of luck.
justy.

Remember this, by helping their children you are helping the future vicmons of domestic violence, because you know cycles repeat.

Take it as an opportunity to do some preventing behavior training. Do some research in regards to other Domestic Violence Agencies that work with the children of families with domestic violence, learn about their programs and what specific things they do to attempt their best to break the cycle, present this info to your supervisor, who knows, this might be a golden opportunity for you to have a major contribution to the future of this kids in "preventive mode" in regards to domestic violence. This might be your chance so they don't become part of your case load in the future.

Go for it Jessica.

gab

Itsjustme: Thank you for the encouragement honey!

Gloria: Yes I agree with you and believe me i know. We actually do have a curriculum that DCF requires us to follow with the kids for the first few weeks. We read them books and do activiities with them...I agree with that and think it is a wonderful way to stop the cycle. Where my problem comes in is that we are losing are day care woman in a few weeks and I will not only be in charge of running the program with the older kids but I will have to be in charge of the babies too! I do not know how they expect me to do this when there are two people doing this job now. I am planning to speak to my supervisor about arranging something.
Just as a side note...Next week the company is sending me (for free) to be a state certified domestic violence counselor. After I get that certification I can start working in the shelters part time as well. Then I could quit my other job and just do one 12 hour shift at the shelter.

Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee

(((((((((((((((shakes)))))))))))))))))))

I used to work at a teen shelter and I agree with you........it's hard...but I watched the other workers and folowed their lead and sought out the person who seemed to me to have it "put together" and talked to him a lot.......never mind that he secretly called one boy "satan's spawn"..... I grew while I was in that job. I wish you the best of luck and please keep us posted on the work. Pat