I'm so confused

I really don't think there is anything triggering in this but just in case.

So my T says that its very likely I am Bipolar II and recommended a Pdoc. Ok, no problem there. He also said I could have Borderline Personality disorder. But he said that its difficult to diagnose someone with a complex history like mine. It not that he's a young doctor or anything he has over 25 years or more. So I guess I'm just difficult. I'm not suprised since I confuse myself.

Anyways, I'm just so frustrated that there seems to be no for sure way to diagnose mental health. I change my mind on such a frequent basis and often don't know why.

When T's don't even agree with one another how are you suposed to know which one to trust?

Plus there is the whole issue about chemical imbalance. How can we figure out what happens first? What I mean is that if someone feels bad do the chemicals in our brain change or does the changing of chemicals in our brain make us feel bad? I know that we can't be sure, at least not yet. So its just annoying since I like knowing how things work. I think the answer is actually both. When we feel bad the chemicals change and when the chemicals change we feel bad. The same would go for feeling good.

So that is why therapy always is recommended to go along with medicine since medicine only helps part of the problem. We also have to learn how to manage our emotions so that instead of feeling really bad we only feel a little bad and thus don't change the chemicals in our brain so much that they are unbearable.

Ok, I guess maybe I'm not completely confused but frustrated. Plus, I feel like I understand too much and can manipulate a diagnoses to be whatever I want at the time. I know what they are looking for and know how to respond. I try to be honest but I don't even know how to be honest with myself. I just mean that I have no idea how I really feel. I only know how I should feel.

I feel like I have overthought every part of me to the point of not knowing who I am or what I'm really like or how I really feel. I don't even feel like feeling anything.

So I guess I'm just confused or whatever. I feel like I can understand and empathize with anyone. I can see how people feel and why they feel that way. I understand why people do the horrible things they do and the feeling that go into it but I have no idea what I feel.

(((unpredictable)))) Me thinks you think too much. If and until you become a T, or are stablized on medicine, you won't have answers to these queries.

Be who you are at the time you are being!

You said that you can tell what they are looking for when diagnosing and can change to influence that....OMG that sounds like something I would have said. It is hard for me to take psych tests because most of the time I can tell what they are looking for and change my answers accordingly.

Last summer I spent a month in the hospital and had to do an MMPI and ended up with 6 things wrong with me. As much as I want to deny it I can see everything and why they said I have these things wrong. I wasn't able to figure out the test so I think its a true glimpse as to what is wrong with me.

Good luck in your endeavors to getting help.

Jbug

JBUG, Thank you, I'm glad you understand.

Sky, LOL what did you say "become a T" or something like that. Are you crazy, lol. I had to reread my post to see if I said anything about being a T and nope, its not there . So maybe you were responding to someone else lol. Anyways, thanks for the hugs and I agree, I think too much. But it does help to write down some of my thoughts, well it helps me, it probably doesn't help everyone else. It probably just makes everyone else start thinking too much, lol.

unpred >>>>>. Yea the think too much ,,,, OK .

Thing is that I do ,,, I see how many times I have a reoccuring thought ,,,, Then the minor ones I direct first to be rid of ,,,>>> That happens daily always even in norm stuff. >>> Those I brush off.

When I go deeper as to IRL ,,, then you have immediate stuff ,,, daily rituals ,, wake up ,, bathe ,, go do things ,, and so on and so forth.

So writing down things can be catagorized .

You know, the thing is that so many illnesses overlap each other. You can have the same symptoms in more than just one decease. Or you can even be missing some of the symptoms of one decease but have symptoms of another. It all depends on how one T or pdoc interprets the findings. It's pretty much a judgement call on their part.

If your pdoc can find the right meds to treat your symptoms, then who cares what it's called?

I think what Sky meant was that IF you were studying pschycology, you wouldn't be able to diagnose yourself until you got all your degrees and probably some experience. LOL

Why does a diagnosis matter as long as you are getting treatment for your symptoms, wherever they fall in the land of labelling?