[silentlyscreaming]

I was just wondering whether anyone else was feeling this way.

When I first joined PC in July last year it was an absolute godsend. Everyone was extremely supportive and this site became a safe haven for me filled with people with whom I can relate.

For the last couple of months I've been to scared to post anything. There seems to be so much judgement and criticism.

If someone expresses their opinion and someone disagrees with it, they get their defences up and the post becomes a war ground.

It seems what ever someone says is either ignored completely or what they have said is held against them.

The support offered here is still huge, but it seems there are the odd few that seem to take offence to everything.

I go to make a new post, then delete it out of fear that I will reprimanded in some way.

I don't know if anyone else feels this way, or if it's just the head space I'm in.

I still check in regularly, and I'm sorry I don't reply to anyone anymore, but I've explained why.

Sorry

I understand the being scared to post, I often will type something up, send it, then have a "my goodness, people are actually gonna READ this" thought. I just try to remind myself that this is the internet, and people's opinions of me can't bring me down.

[wanttoheal]

For me, fear in posting is often directly related to events in my 3D world. While it does feel to me that there are times when people are triggered here and respond based on that trigger and seemingly completely forget there is another poster involved, overall I believe the support here outweighs the arguments (for me).

Sometimes I see the arguing more because my brain is always trying to see safe or not safe, but if I think rationally, I do believe there are heaps more supporting posts than arguments.

For me, anger, etc is a big flash warning in my head that it's not safe. This isn't always the case though (as far as safety is concerned). But, my stuff does get in the way of posting.

At any site, there are going to be disagreements I think and if I add the mental illness element into it, it may become magnified. On top of that, my own fears and triggers hinder my ability to see things clearly sometimes.

I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I hope things settle down for you soon.

[nothemama8]

if your uncomfortable posting a rant, is there someone you feel close to that you could pm your rant too, I've been known to do this from time to time
Angie

[Danialla]

Guilty as charged

I know that in the past I have been less than supportive in posts that "I" found offesive or patronizing. I have responded with sarcasm when "I" thought the post was disrespectfull to a group that I may or may not be a member of...... That is not my nature, but "I" find myself doing that anyway.

I will try to be more supportive. I will really try to ignore the posts that trigger me and not respond with sarcasm to those posts that I feel I just can't ignore....(trigger or no trigger )

I will try very hard to put myself in the other person's shoes before I post a reply.

I will type my response and reread it many times before I send it....... Is it supportive? Does it give someone my opinion/advice in a gentle, caring way or am I responding because I am putting myself and "my feelings" first?

I guess the only thing I can say for certain, is from this day forward I am going to really, really try!!!

Take care everyone and may peace be with you all....

[Fuzzybear]

[Mouse_]

I have no fear in posting...I've learnt to ignore posters that for some reason trigger me...not that they are at fault more at this point in my recovery I am unable to deal with them...I am responsible for my own welbeing and if some one is offensive or demeaning I would either ask why or just walk away..in a perfect world we would recieve replys exactly as we would want them to be...but here like any where else in the big world isnt' perfect...thats why there are ignore buttons....

[(JD)]

Would you believe me too at times? I always preview my posts, edit them, and when in upset even after I've posted I'll pull them, edit them and sometimes delete them also.

I'm sorry you are feeling this across the forums though. You just posted fine, this thread, imo.

If you post something and the Community Team Member doesn't find anything wrong with it, it stays...and if someone posts something negative, notify the moderator (so they see it ahead of when they might come across just reading) and let them fix it.

All posts are to be supportive by nature. Maybe we've eased a bit away from that? IDK. But it's a good reminder for me to keep on that previewing posts!

((((hugs))))

[Doh2007]

I also get scared when people are fighting. It makes me feel like it's not safe here. A moderator told me to be sure and contact a moderator when something doesn't feel safe.

Also, if you're feeling vulnerable, sometimes it helps to PM your message where it's protected more.

I tend to avoid posts by people who don't feel safe. I hope you can still find the comfort you need.

[sunrise]

If I find people really hostile and offensive, I put them on ignore. Especially people with an overall "angry" attitude--I just avoid them as I am triggered by anger.

There are others who just seem very touchy, and I fear I will rile them by posting in their thread, no matter how careful I try to be, so I just don't post in their threads.

Some people don't like it if you post comments in threads they started that are not 100% on point to their original post. I like a more wide-ranging discussion, so I also try to avoid these threads for fear I will annoy the OP.

I too sometimes edit my posts to be more benign and supportive. I wish the period we had available for editing was greater than 1 hour. I also try to ask myself carefully (but I sometimes forget!), is the person posting for information or for support (or both)? If it seems they just want support, I try not to fill my post with "helpful" information. Just an empathy statement will do it.

[AnnieL]

I feel the same as sunrise. I have been a member for almost a year, and I visit the board everyday. I dont however, post often for the reasons that sunrise stated.

I noticed that there are some who dont like the topic in their post to go off kilter...and since I have a habit of that...I stay out of the thread. I suppose angry people trigger many of us, and since I have to deal with that in real life....I wont do it here.

[wisewoman]

One rule does not apply to all. Differing rules for different people. It is quite sad really.

<font color="purple">I'm not scared of posting, but the replies.
And when I say replies, I don't mean people fighting or being mean, but in the sense that I'm giving off a false impression on people...because I don't want me seen as strong or struggling or anything like that because alot of times I don't see myself like that, making my stay here at PC one giant grab at attention and sympathy when I don't really need it. </font>

[eskielover]

Posting definitely can be a challenge......but I have found over the years, that the support is huge & I have always been blessed with the wonderful people here being a huge support in the many different situations I have been in.

Sometimes it's information, empathy, sympathy, support in my thinking & also, suggestions of looking at something a bit differently than I am & bringing me back to the reality of the situation.

I try to avoid the posts that get into a debate situation mostly because I have this horrible ability to see so many side of something that it's hard to see any of the posts being wrong....& I also hate getting into word fights as I was dealing with that in my real world & had enough of it.

I hope that you will be able to find the comfortable place for yourself here, so that the fear will be able to be put into perspective & you will be able to feel safer with your posts. I enjoy meeting others & finding out what's going on in their lives & what other are dealing with. I try to be supportive when I possibly can & try to give encouragement most of all in my replies.....I have found most replys to my posts have been the same, so I hope you will come to find this more here in the long run.

Debbie

[sujunew]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
eskielover said:
I have this horrible ability to see so many side of something that it's hard to see any of the posts being wrong

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

me too! I guess that's why I have avoided any of the 'problems' that have been here from time to time. I mostly only read posts that are relevant to me, or that grab my interest, or that I can relate to in some way. And the reason I don't post as much as I could is not because of the community; it is my own fear of showing too much of my vulnerable side. I find it better being able to offer my support to someone.
And maybe I tend to mostly see the good in anything and everything (even at times when I shouldn't lol)!!